Brickleberry
Season 1

Steve's Bald

  • Season 1, Ep 8
  • 11/20/2012

Steve's secret hair-loss shame prompts him to imbibe a mystery elixir that turns him into Bigfoot.

- SO, STEVE, AFTER TWO YEARSOF TAKING MULTIPLE DAILY SHOTS

IN THE BUTTOCKS, YOU CAN EXPECTTO GO FROM THIS HAIRLESS FREAK

TO THIS HANDSOME DEVIL.

- WHAT IS THAT,LIKE, FOUR MORE HAIRS?

- UP TO FOUR MORE HAIRS.

GROWITOL.

ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF GROWITOL'SRIGHT FOR YOU.

- YOU ARE MY DOCTOR.THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

- AM I?YOU KNOW, STEVE,

I ALWAYS SAW YOU MOREAS A FRIEND.

BESIDES, I WAS BANNED FROMPRACTICING MEDICINE YEARS AGO.

[chuckles]

I'M NOT KIDDING.

- ISN'T THERE ANYTHING ELSEYOU CAN GIVE ME?

WITHOUT HAIR,I'M NOBODY.

I'M NOT SMART,I'M NOT AS ATHLETIC AS I LOOK,

MY PERSONALITYIS NON-EXISTENT,

YET SOMEHOW GRATING.

- WELL, STEVE,THERE IS THE HAIR TONIC

THAT I USE.

I PURCHASED ITON THE CHINESE BLACK MARKET.

OR WAS ITTHE BLACK CHINESE MARKET?

ANYWAY IT'S MADEWITH TIGER SPERM.

NOW REMEMBER, FRIEND,JUST RUB A THIMBLEFUL

ON YOUR SCALP ONCE A WEEK--OOH.

NOT GOOD.

LUCKY FOR YOU,I'M ALSO A MALPRACTICE ATTORNEY.

MY CARD.

- MAN, IT'S HOTALL OF A SUDDEN.

[suspenseful music]

[horn blaring]

[crash]

[door alarm pinging]

WHAT HAPPENED?

MAN, I GOT A WICKED HANGOVER.OH, GOD.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?[guns cocking]

- OH, YOU POOR BABY.

ETHEL WILL MAKE ITALL BETTER.

[cocks gun]- WHOA!

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

- I HAVE TO DO IT, DENZEL.

THIS CUTE LITTLE GUYWAS ABANDONED BY HIS MOTHER.

- HE WASN'T ABANDONEDBY HIS MOTHER.

HIS MOTHER'S RIGHT THERE.

OH, MY GOD.YOU SHOT IT!

- WELL, I HAD NO CHOICE,DENZEL.

IT WAS DISTRAUGHTITS BABY WAS ABOUT TO DIE.

- ALL RIGHT, ETHEL, WHATTHE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU?

- [sighs] ALL RIGHT,HERE'S THE THING.

WHEN I KILLED THAT DEER,

I HAD THE BEST ORGASMOF MY LIFE.

I'VE BEEN CHASINGTHAT DRAGON EVER SINCE.

- ETHEL, YOU'RE CONFUSED.

WOMEN DON'T HAVE NO ORGASMS.PFFT.

AND YOU GOT TO STOPTHIS KILLING, GIRL.

- I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT,DENZEL.

- I PROMISE,NO MORE KILLING.

[frog croaks]

[squish]

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