Blake Clark & Carrie Snow

  • Season 1, Ep 0124
  • 02/24/1992

TO HOST THIS SHOW, AND-- I JUSTSAW A JOHN LENNON T-SHIRT.

GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

IT'S A GREAT T-SHIRT

BUT IT'S DEPRESSING TO SITIN THE FRONT ROW WITH IT.

BUT... WHERE WAS I?

NO, I'M TEASING,IT'S A GREAT SHIRT.

I HAVE THE SAME PICTUREAT MY HOUSE.

GOOD NIGHT AGAIN-- SORRY.

BUT THE A LIS THEY TREAT MELIKE AN "A" COMEDIAN

LIKE EVERYBODY ELSEON THIS SHOW.

AND IN FACT THEY FLEW MEFROM NEW YORK ON A GIG

AND THEY FLEW ME... "GIG," BYTHE WAY, IN UTAH, MEANS "SHOW."

AND I LOVE UTAH,DON'T GET ME WRONG

BECAUSE "UTAH" SPELLEDBACKWARDS MEANS "HEBREW."

SO, IF YOU CHECK IT OUTIN A MIRROR.

THEY FLEW ME ON THIS PLANE,IT WAS ALL FIRST CLASS.

IT WAS THE MOST PSYCHOTIC THING.

THE DRINKING THAT WENT ON,IT WAS LIKE MARDI GRAS.

THE NOSE OF THE PLANE STARTEDTO DEVELOP RED VEINS.

( laughter )

BUT NOTHING COMPAREDTO LAST YEAR.

I DID A FILM IN EUROPE.

I HAD TO FLY 14 HOURS FROM L.A.TO ROME, AND I WAS, LIKE--

I'M SCARED TO FLY-- WHO ISN'T?

MOST PEOPLE ARE.

I HAD MY DOCTOR-- I DON'T TAKE--

AND KIDS, CONDOMS, NO DRUGS--

BUT I HAD TO GET A PRESCRIPTION.

MY DOCTOR ACTUALLYDRESSED ME UP LIKE A VALIUM

AND I ROLLED ON TO THE PLANE.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I COULD GETFROM L.A. TO ROME IN 14 HOURS.

IF I'M ON THE TOILET MORE THANTWO MINUTES, I TAKE DRAMAMINE.

THAT'S HOW NAUSEOUS I GET.

YOU GET TO EUROPE, LOVE EUROPE.

ITALY-- FORGET ABOUT IT.

IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THERE,GO TO EUROPE

AND GO TO ITALY.

IT'S SO ROMANTIC.

I WENT THERE WITH MYSELF,AND IT WAS SAD

BUT I TRIED TO GET AWAYFROM EVERYTHING.

I'M WALKING AROUND, AND VENICE,ITALY, MAN, IS LIKE, WOW!

AND SOME GUY TAPS MEON THE SHOULDER AND SAYS

"I'M OPENING UP A COMEDY CLUBNEXT TO THE VATICAN.

IT'S CALLED THE CHUCKLE CHAPEL."

I WENT, "OH, NO."

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THEN I GET TO VENICE.

FORGET ABOUT IT.

I COULDN'T EVENMAKE A PHONE CALL.

THEY HAVE, LIKE,SPECIAL COINS FOR THE PHONES

AND THEN I PUT THE COIN IN

AND THE OPERATOR SAID,"YOU HAVE TO ANSWER"--

IT WAS LIKE JEOPARDY--

"SEVERAL PASTATRIVIA QUESTIONS."

IT WAS A NIGHTMARE.

BUT THEN I FOUND SOME WOMANI FELL IN LOVE WITH.

WE WENT ON A GONDOLA,BUT I'M A SCHMUCK.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WASA FIRST-TIME GONDOLIER.

IS IT A GONDOLIER?

WHO'S THE GUY WHO DOES IT--THE GONDOLIER, RIGHT?

GOOD NIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, HE HADBUMPER TIRES AROUND THE GONDOLA.

HE DIDN'T USE OARS,JUST HIS HANDS.

IT TOOK ABOUT EIGHT DAYSTO GET AROUND THE ENTIRE...

HE DIDN'T EVEN SING LIKE...

HE SANG, LIKE,ARLO GUTHRIE TUNES.

THAT AMERICANS ARE ALL STUPIDAND ILLITERATE AND LAZY AND...

WELL, I DIDN'T REALLY READ IT.

( laughter )

I, UH...

I SAW IT ON TELEVISION.

I WAS LYING THERE--

I WAS LYING THERE ON THE COUCH.

( laughter )

WELL, I WOULDHAVE CHANGED THE CHANNEL

BUT I HAD TO GET UPAND WALK ALL THE WAY OVER.

MY REMOTE CONTROL IS BROKEN

AND I DON'T KNOWHOW TO FIX IT SO...

( laughter )

SEE NOW, I'M FROM GEORGIA

SO I'M USED TO THAT.

I'M USED TO BEING CALLED STUPID

ILLITERATE AND LAZYAND DUMB AND IGNORANT

BAREFOOT, COLLARD-GREEN-EATING,PICKUP-TRUCK-DRIVING HILLBILLIES

WHO DATE OUR COUSINS.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE SAY.

WELL, I NEVER DATED MY COUSIN.

SLEPT WITH HER...

( laughter )

BUT I...

I NEVER TOOK HER ANYWHERE.

I'M JUST KIDDING, MA'AM.

LOOK AT YOU.

( laughter )

IF I HAD DONE SOMETHINGTHAT DISGUSTING

WITH A MEMBEROF MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY

YOU THINK I WOULDTALK ABOUT IT ON TELEVISION?

DAMN RIGHT I WOULD!

BUT I DIDN'T.

AND I TRAVEL ALL OVERTHIS GREAT U.S. OF A. OF OURS.

AND I DON'T WANTTO OFFEND ANYBODY OUT THERE

BUT THE MORE THAT I TRAVEL THEMORE THAT I FIND THAT, WELL...

THE JAPANESE ACCUSATION ISN'TTOTALLY GROUNDLESS, FOLKS, OKAY?

( laughter )

STUPIDITY IS ALIVEAND WELL IN AMERICA.

INDEED, IT'S ACTUALLYFLOURISHING IN SOME PLACES.

( laughter )

I DON'T THINKIT'S NECESSARILY CONFINED

TO ANY GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION.

I DON'T THINK THE SOUTH HAS THEMARKET CORNERED ON STUPIDITY.

THEY MAY HAVE REFINED ITTO AN ART FORM

BUT IT'S...IT'S ALIVE EVERYWHERE.

HERE'S AN EXAMPLE.

AS I SAID, I TRAVEL A LOT.

I WAS FLYING--I WAS GOING TO THE AIRPORT

HERE IN LOS ANGELES--LOS ANGELES, L.A.X.

I HAVE MY BAG.

I GO UP TO THE FRONTOF THE LINE.

I PUT MY BAG THERE.

I GIVE THE WOMAN BEHINDTHE COUNTER MY TICKET.

I'M GOING ONE PLACE--FROM LOS ANGELES TO DALLAS

ONE PLACE, NO STOPS IN BETWEEN,ONE PLACE-- DALLAS.

SHE LOOKS AT MY TICKET,SHE GOES, "DO YOU WANT YOUR BAG

CHECKED ALL THE WAY THROUGHTO YOUR FINAL DESTINATION?"

( laughter )

"KINDA."

( laughter )

"SEE, I TOOK EVERYTHINGI THOUGHT I MIGHT NEED

"FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKSAND I PUT IT IN THAT BAG.

"I'VE JUST FOUND THAT'S A LOTEASIER THAN COMING BACK HERE

EVERY TIME I NEEDTO CHANGE CLOTHES."

THEN THEY ASK YOU THIS.

THEY ASKED ME, WHEN I WAS MAKINGMY SEAT SELECTION--

THEY ASKED ME IF I'D BE WILLINGTO SIT ON THE EMERGENCY AISLE

AND OPEN THE EMERGENCY EXITIN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY.

( laughter )

I SAID, "WELL, DO I GETA DISCOUNT OR SOMETHING?

"YOU TELL ME WHEN I CAN GO,HOW LONG I CAN STAY

"WHEN I CAN COME BACK,I'D BETTER NOT CHANGE MY MIND

"I'D BETTER MAKE MY RESERVATIONS30 DAYS PRIOR TO LEAVING

"AND NOW I GOT TO WORKFOR THE AIRLINE?

WHAT, I GOT TO CLEAN THE PLANEWHEN I GET THERE?"

( laughter )

GEEZ, THE HEIGHTOF IMPERTINENCE.

AND THEN THEY SAYYOU HAVE TO BE ABLE

TO SPEAK AND UNDERSTAND ENGLISH

TO ASSIST OTHERSIN EXITING THE AIRCRAFT--

"ASSIST OTHERS" BEING THEOPERATIVE PHRASE HERE, FOLKS.

LIKE I'M GOING TO STAND THERE,CALMLY, BY AN EMERGENCY EXIT

IN A BURNING INFERNO,GOING, "THANK YOU, BYE-BYE.

THANK YOU, BYE-BYE."

I DON'T THINK SO.

( laughter and applause )

I DON'T THINK SO.

THEY EXPLAIN TO YOUON AN AIRPLANE

HOW A SEAT BELT WORKS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,THIS IS AMERICA.

THIS IS 1992.

IF YOU DON'T KNOWHOW A SEAT BELT WORKS BY NOW

YOU DON'T DESERVETO SURVIVE THE CRASH.

WE DON'T NEED YOU.

IT'S TIME TO THINTHE HERD, FOLKS.

( wild cheering and applause )

THIS USED TO BETAKEN CARE OF NATURALLY.

THE STUPID MEMBERSOF THE HERD WERE PUSHED

TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE HERD,AND THE PREDATORS TOOK THEM

THEREBY ENSURINGTHAT THE GENES AND CHROMOSOMES

OF THE INTELLIGENT ONESWOULD BE PASSED ON TO POSTERITY.

IN OTHER WORDS, THE HERBIVORESARE OUT THERE GOING

"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU ALL EATING?"

( laughter )

"WHERE'D EVERYBODY GO?

"WHERE'D EVERYBODY...

WHAT THE HELL'S THATWITH ALL THEM TEETH?"

( laughter )

WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT

AN OVERLY COMPLICATED MECHANISMHERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A SEAT BELT.

THERE ARE TWO PIECES;THEY INTERLOCK.

( laughter )

IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT.

THEY DEMONSTRATE IT!

THEY HOLD IT OVER THEIR HEAD--

"YOU INSERT THE METAL ENDIN THE BUCKLE."

THE GUY NEXT TO ME WENT, "ICAN'T GET IT UP OVER MY HEAD."

( laughter and applause )

PUSH HIM TO THE EDGEOF THE HERD.

( laughter )

HE SHOULD BE OUT THEREON THE EDGE OF THE HERD.

( laughter )

YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE DANQUAYLE'S OUT THERE, CAMPAIGNING:

"HI...

WHERE'D EVERYBODY GO?"

( laughter )

THEY DON'T WANT TO;IT'S A FEDERAL REGULATION.

THE SAME FEDERAL GOVERNMENTTHAT MAKES IT MANDATORY

TO EXPLAIN SEAT BELTS TO PEOPLE

WILL NOT ENACT ANY SORTOF GUN CONTROL LEGISLATION.

THEY DON'T TRUST USWITH SEAT BELTS

BUT HANDGUNS, THAT'SA WHOLE 'NOTHER THING.

( laughter )

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME SOMEBODYWENT INTO A CAFETERIA IN TEXAS

WITH A SEAT BELTAND KILLED 23 PEOPLE, HUH?

( laughter )

I KNOW WHAT PEOPLE SAY.

"HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

"SECOND AMENDMENTOF THE CONSTITUTION

"OF THE UNITED STATES:

'EVERY AMERICAN HAS THE RIGHTTO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS.'"

IT IS, I LOOKED IT UP.

FIRST AMENDMENT,OF COURSE, IS THE...

FREEDOM OF SPEECH--THANK YOU VERY MUCH--

WHICH MAKES SENSE,IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

THE FIRST AMENDMENT'SFREEDOM OF SPEECH

THE SECOND AMENDMENT'S THE RIGHTTO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS.

HEY, YOU GOT A GUN, YOU CAN SAYWHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT.

PEOPLE WILL EVEN PRETENDTO BE INTERESTED.

HERE'S THE THING:IT WAS WRITTEN 202 YEARS AGO

WHEN THERE WERE THREE MILLIONAMERICANS, NOT 285 MILLION.

I DON'T THINK OURFOUNDING FATHERS HAD ANY IDEA

HOW THIN THE GENE POOLWOULD BE STRETCHED, FOLKS.

I THINK IF OUR FOUNDING FATHERSCOULD COME BACK NOW

AND SEE THE PEOPLE WALKINGAROUND ARMED ON THIS CONTINENT

THEY'D GO, "I DON'T THINKWE NEED THAT NUMBER TWO.

NOT EVERYBODYSHOULD HAVE A GUN."

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE... THISSHOW HAS NOT EVEN AIRED YET;

AND SHE HAD THIS LIKE...( calling eerily )

SHE PICKS IT UP ON, LIKE, THIS TWILIGHT ZONE SATELLITE DISH.

BUT I DID A FILM LAST YEARWITH SEAN YOUNG

AND I GOT TO TELL YOU

SHE GETS THE WORST PRESS--OR SHE DID--

I DON'T THINK SHE HADA PUBLICIST A COUPLE MONTHS AGO

BUT IF IT WAS, IT WAS LIKE

"GOOD MORNING,HITLER, HITLER AND HITLER."

I MEAN, I HEARD RUMORS, MAN.

BEFORE I DID THIS MOVIEI WAS SO SCARED

THAT IN A HOTEL SHE WOULD PUT

AN "I AM DISTURBED" SIGNOUTSIDE HER DOOR.

( laughter )

I READ IT, MAN.

I READ ALL THE TABLOIDCRAP, YOU KNOW

THAT SHE HAD A FISTFIGHTAND WON AGAINST BIGFOOT.

I SAID, "OH, MAN."

AND THAT ONE OF HER EX-LOVERS,ONE OF THE STARS IN HER MOVIES

JILTED HER, AND SHE ACTUALLYRENTED A STAMPEDE OF CATTLE

TO RUN THROUGH HIS SUITEWHILE HE WAS ASLEEP, YOU KNOW?

BUT I DON'T--YOU KNOW, I DON'T--

ACTUALLY, TO ME IT WAS ALL B.S.,BECAUSE SHE WAS GREAT.

SHE BOUGHT ME A PRESENT.

AFTER THIS FILM WE DID,SHE BOUGHT ME A COMPUTER

WHICH WAS QUITE A HEFTY GIFT.

GRANTED, ONE BUTTON,BLOOD POURED OUT OF IT

BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL,YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

HI.

I'M WEARING A SPANDEXJUMPSUIT-- CALL 9-1-1.

WOMEN LOVE JUMPSUITSBECAUSE THEY'RE SO COMFORTABLE--

I'M VERY COMFY RIGHT NOW--

UNLESS WE HAVE TO GOTO THE LADIES' ROOM

AND DRAG THE TOP HALF OF OURCLOTHING THROUGH HUMAN FILTH.

WE HATE THAT PART, DON'T WE?

AND WOMEN DO GOTO THE LADIES' ROOM TOGETHER.

I DON'T KNOW IF WE'VE SEEN

THAT PARTICULAR SOCIOLOGICALEXPERIENCE TONIGHT, BUT WE DO

AND IT'S NOT THAT WE'REDOING ANYTHING TERRIBLE.

IT'S JUST THAT SOMETIMES GUYSSAY SUCH STUPID STUFF TO US

WE HAVE TO GO INTO A SMALL TILEDROOM WITH OUR VERY BEST FRIEND

AND GO, "OH, OH, OH."

I WANT TO KNOW WHERE MENLEARN HOW TO SAY

THE THINGS THEY SAY TO WOMEN

BECAUSE THE ONLY TIMEWE WERE SEPARATED WAS

WHEN WE WERE 12 YEARS OLD ANDTHEY SHOWED THE GIRLS THAT MOVIE

ABOUT HOW OUR LIFE WASGOING TO BE GARBAGE FOREVER.

REMEMBER THAT MOVIE?

THEY GAVE YOU A PAMPHLET IN CASEIT DIDN'T HIT YOU RIGHT THERE.

IT WAS HORRIFYING.

AND IT'S SO CUTE,BECAUSE MY NIECE IS 12 NOW

AND SHE JUST "BECAME A WOMAN."

AND IT'S LIKE AN OCCASIONIN A FAMILY, BECAUSE YOU GO...

( laughing maliciously )

( laughter )

AH, IT'S SO FRIGHTENING.

IT'S WEIRD-- MY SISTER'S KIDSARE GROWING UP.

MY BEST FRIEND JUST HADHER THIRD CHILD

AND YEAH, SHE'LL BE STERILIZEDBY THE STATE SOON.

I WON'T BE HAVING ANY KIDS.

YOU CAN SLEEP PRETTY EASILYON THAT ONE.

I CAN'T HAVE KIDS BECAUSE,WELL, I HAVE WHITE COUCHES.

( women laughing, applause )

IT MAKES SENSE, DOESN'T IT?

SHE JUST HAD HER THIRD BABY.AND I WAS THERE THAT DAY.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN OUT OF TOWN

OR SHE WAS OUT OF TOWNFOR THE OTHER KIDS

AND I GOT TO HOLD THE BABYON THE FIRST DAY.

HER 2h-YEAR-OLD LITTLE GIRLISN'T REAL PLEASED--

A LITTLE SIBLING RIVALRY,LIKE, THAT DAY.

AND SHE GOES, "I NEED TO STAYAT THE HOSPITAL, I'M SICK, TOO."

"YEAH, BECKY, LET IT GO."

NO, BECKY'S MY NIECE,AND ALYSSA'S HERS

AND, OH, GOD, THEY'RE JUSTCHILDREN, AND THEY'RE NOT MINE

AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.

BUT I ASKED MY BEST FRIEND,"HOW ARE YOU?"

AND SHE GOES, "WELL,YOU KNOW THOSE COWBOY MOVIES

"WHERE THE HERO JUMPSOFF THE ROOF OF SAL'S SALOON

RIGHT ONTO HIS HORSE?--NOW I KNOW HOW HE FEELS."

GOSH, THAT MADE EVERYBODYCROSS THEIR LEGS, DIDN'T IT?

ANN IS MY BEST FRIEND.

SHE THINKS I'M TOO THIN--I THINK SHE'S A NATURAL BLOND.

WE'RE VERY CLOSE.

AND I JUST RECENTLY HAD TODEAL WITH A LOT OF MY SHOPPING.

I HAD A GARAGE SALEWITH SOME FRIENDS

BUT IT WAS BETTERTHAN A GARAGE SALE.

IT WAS A HYPER-GARAGE SALE.

WE'D NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE.

WE CALLED IT THE IMELDA MARCOSMEMORIAL ESTATE SALE, ACTUALLY.

WELL, ISN'T SHE THE PATRON SAINTOF EXCESSIVE SHOPPING?

OF COURSE, MY SLOGAN IS

"IF THE SHOE FITS, BUY IT INEVERY SINGLE COLOR IT COMES IN."

( laughter )

SO I HAVE THIS GARAGE SALE--

AND YOU INVITE FRIENDSTO YOUR GARAGE SALE

BECAUSE YOU WANT THEMTO BUY YOUR STUFF

SO YOU CAN GO TO THEIR HOUSEAND LOOK AT YOUR STUFF.

AND ALSO, IT'S BORING OUT THERE.

I HAVEN'T HAD BREAKFAST,BIRDS ARE SINGING.

I'M GOING... ( click, click )

I GREW UP IN A RETAIL FAMILY

AND SO I GET INTO THE RETAIL MODE.

YOU KNOW, "IT'S A BUCK--A WORD ON TV."

OH, AND CARS ARE DRIVING BY,I'M LIFTING UP MY SUNDRESS

GOING, "COME ON,COME ON, COME ON."

AND SCARY PEOPLEARE COMING BY YOUR HOUSE.

YOU DON'T EVEN THINK ENGLISHIS THEIR SECOND LANGUAGE.

MOST OF THEM LOOK LIKETHEY HAD THEIR TEETH CAPPED

BY SOMEBODY IN A VAN, ALL RIGHT?

THEY'RE DRIVING BY THE HOUSE.

I'M GOING, "COME ON,COME ON, COME ON."

AND MY FRIEND SUZANNE DROPPED BY

AND BEFORE I TRASH HER,I HAVE TO SAY

THAT SHE'S AN ACCOMPLISHEDTELEVISION PRODUCER

BUT SHE'S LIKE THE IRRITATINGLITTLE SISTER I NEVER WANTED

AND SHE'S ALWAYS THINKINGOF THINGS TO GO SHOPPING FOR

THAT I HAVE NO INTERESTIN BUYING, AT ALL

LIKE THE LATESTWAS A GIRDLE SLIP.

THEY'RE LIKE A GIRDLE AND A SLIPAT THE SAME TIME.

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TELL YOU

BECAUSE YOU'RE YOUNG AND FRESHAND I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU.

WELL, I DO, BUT...

( laughter )

"YOU MUST BE THIS TALLTO GET ON THIS RIDE."

( wild cheering and applause )

HEY, HEY... SETTLE DOWN, KIDS.

THERE'S A LOVELY WOMAN I CAN SEESITTING THERE IN A PURPLE DRESS

GOING, "BOY, I'M GLADSHE'S NOT MY DAUGHTER."

WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?

I LOOKED AT THIS LITTLE BOYAND I GOT PELVIC CONGESTION

AND FORGOT WHERE I WAS.

SUZANNE WANTS TO GOBUY GIRDLE SLIPS

AND I SAID, "SUZY, I DON'T THINKYOU EVEN KNOW HOW OLD I AM

"BECAUSE I REMEMBERBEING IN THE EIGHTH GRADE

"WEARING A BELT AND A PAD,UNDERPANTS, A GARTER BELT

"NYLON STOCKINGS, A PANTYGIRDLE, A SLIP AND A TIGHT SKIRT

"GOING, 'WHERE HASMY YOUTH GONE?'

"NO, SUZY, I WON'T BE WEARINGA PANTY GIRDLE OR A GIRDLE SLIP

"NOT THIS CENTURY,NOT THE NEXT CENTURY

"NOT EVEN IF MY BEHINDSPREADS OUT ALL OVER PETALUMA

ALL RIGHT?"

( laughter )

SO, WE'RE AT THE GARAGE SALE,AND CARS ARE DRIVING BY

AND I'M GOING,"COME ON, COME ON, COME ON."

MY DAD HAD A MEN'S CLOTHINGSTORE WHEN I WAS A KID

AND OF COURSE, I WASTHE INSEAM SPECIALIST.

( laughter )

OOH, YOU GOTA LITTLE SLOW THERE.

GOD, I JUST WANTTO SLAP YOU PEOPLE.

( laughter )

AND Y SAY "THANK YOU" AFTER.

AND I HAVE A QUESTION.

DOES ANYBODY BESIDES MEHAVE A PROBLEM

WITH MEN WHO WEAR SHORTSWITH NO UNDERPANTS?

( scattered applause )

OKAY, YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

A FEW DON'T LIKE IT

AND THE REST OF YOU--

THE STEWARDESSES HARDLY APPROVEOF THE PRACTICE.

ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE BEGGING NOW, HONEY.

I GUESS MAYBE ONE GENTLEMAN,A FRIEND OF ANOTHER FRIEND

HAD FORGOTTEN TO WEARHIS UNDERPANTS THAT DAY

AND I'M FACING THE STREET GOING,"COME ON, COME ON, COME ON."

AND SUZANNE IS FACING ME,AND SUDDENLY SHE GOES

"CARRIE, TURN AROUND REALLY,REALLY SLOWLY, ALL RIGHT?"

AND SO I WAS TRYING TO BEAS DISCREET AS POSSIBLE AND...

"UH-HUH."

SHE GOES, "WELL, CARRIE, WHATDO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT?"

AND I SAID,"THEY'RE TWO FOR 50 CENTS

"AND I'M NOT BREAKING UPTHE SET, ALL RIGHT?"

ANYWAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

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