Thursday, January 23, 2014

  • Season 1, Ep 01012
  • 01/23/2014

Julie Klausner, Horatio Sanz and Jon Daly come up with rejected Grammy categories, get into the heads of American Apparel models and write subject lines for unwanted emails.

RIPPED FROM TODAY'S INTERNETHEADLINES, IT'S

RAPID REFRESH!

>> THE FIRST COMEDIAN TO BUZZ INWITH THE CORRECT ANSWER GETS 100

POINTS.

THE FIRST FULL TRAILER, 300:RISE OF AN EMPIRE DROPPED ON

MACHINIMA,.COM ROCKED AND IT ISSOME HOW MORE AGRO THAN THE

ORIGINAL 300.

SO WHAT REAL BRO-TWEETS ABOUTTHIS CINEMATIC PEC-STRAVAGANZA

GOT THE MOST FACILITATESFACILITATES.

>> A.

I AM GOING TO LEAVE THE THEATRESWEATY AS (BLEEP) AFTER WATCHING

THAT NEW 300 MOVIE.

>> AND I WILL SAY THAT GUYENTERED THE THEATRE SWEATY.

>> B.

THESE 300 COMMERCIALS ARE MAKINGME JIZZ # NO SHAME.

>> C.

WATCH THE MOVIE 300 THEN WATCHTHREE NINJAS, LEONITIS WOULD

(BLEEP) THOSE KIDS UP!

>> THAT IS A FAIR APPROXIMATIONOF HOW TO SPELL LEONITIS FOR

SOMEONE ON TWITTER.

>> YES.

WHICH ONES DO YOU THINK GUYS GOTTHE MOST RETWEETS?

>> JUDY KLAUSNER.

>> I WILL SAY B, BECAUSE NO NAMEIS SUCH A POPULAR HASH TAG

NOWADAYS AM I WRONG.

>> THE CORRECT ANSWER ISACTUALLY C.

>> OH, NO.

>>>> YOU GOT IT WRONG! NOT RIGHT!

>> EXCELLENT JON DALY.

>> THANK YOU.

>> ALL RIGHT.

IT IS TIME TO GO, NO POINTS SOFAR.

STILL IT IS ANYONE'S GAME.

>> POINTLESS GAME!

>> YEAH!

>> HEY, HEY!

[ APPLAUSE ]>> OKAY.

SNOOP DOGG, SNOOP LION?, NO HE'SBACK TO SNOOP DOGG.

HE TOOK TIME OUT OF HISMARIJUANA CAREER AND RAP HOBBY

TO POST THIS PHOTO WITH A FAN ONHIS INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT.

NOW, IN FAN WHO WE OBSCURED HEREDRESSED UP FOR THE OCCASION.

WHAT WAS HE WEARING TO MEET THERAP ICON?

>> A.

A BEANIE MADE OUT OF MARIJUANALEAVES WOVEN TOGETHER.

B.

THE ORIGINAL SWEATSHIRT SNOOPWORE IN THE NOTHING BUT A G

THANG VIDEO.

OR, C, BLACK FACE ANDDREADLOCKS.

YES, HORATIO.

>> A BEANIE MADE OUT OFMARIJUANA LEAVES WOVEN TOGETHER.

>> UNFORTUNATELY THE CORRECTANSWER IS C.

>> OH! NO! HE IS HAVING THETIME OF HIS LIFE.

>> THE GRAMOPHONE AWARDS ARE ONSUNDAY AND A LOT OF GREAT

CATEGORY LIKE BEST POPCOLLABORATION WITH VOCALS AND

BEST IMPROVISED JAZZ SOLO.

THAT'S A REAL ONE? YOU CANNEVER HAVE ENOUGH CATEGORIES

WHICH IS WHY DON'T'S HAG HASHTAG THE REJECTED CATEGORIES,

LIKE BEST NEW FART TEST, BESTUNSPOKEN WORD PERFORMANCE AND

BEST NEW COUNTRY IN THE EVERCHANGING MIDDLE EAST.

I AM PUTTING 60-SECONDS ON THECLOCK.

READY, GO.

>> RACHEL.

>> BEST GOSPEL ALBUM EVEN THOUGHGOD DOESN'T EXIST.

>> POINTS.

>> JON DALY.

>> THE LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENTAWARD FOR EMPTY AT THISEST

BLADDER.

PRESENTED BY CHUCK BERRY.

>> OKAY.

GOOD.

>> JUDY KLAUSNER.

>> GAYEST MUSICAL.

>> YES, THAT WOULD BE -- POINTS!

>> ALAN RAPE BIEST SON.

>> RAPE IEST SON.

>> HORATIO SANZ.

>> BEST SONG BY FRENCH GAYROBOT.

>> POINTS.

>> BRAVEST BACON BROTHERSBALLAD.

>> THAT'S THE ONLY IN THATCATEGORY.

>> YOU SHUT UP, BUZZER

I AM NOT DONE.

>> OUT OF ALL OF THE BACONBROTHERS BALLADS, THEIR BRAVEST.

>> YES.

AMERICAN APPAREL.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> WE HAVE LOOKED INTO THE COLD

ABYSS OF NOTHINGNESS AND ANAMERICAN APPAREL MODEL WAS

STARING BACK.

WE ARE GOING TO SHOW YOU A SLIDESHOW OF SOME OF THESE DEAD-EYED

HIPSTERS FROM AMERICAN APPAREL'SBLOG AND FOR 250 POINTS I WOULD

LIKE YOU TO GIVE US THEIR INNERMONOLOGUE.

>> HERE IS THE FIRST ONE.

>> YES, JUDY KLAUSNER.

>> ONE OF US PEES IN A BOX ANDTHE OTHER ONE IS A CAT.

>> NEXT ONE.

>> YOU KNOW HOW YOU HANG OUT ATTHE TENNIS COURTS?

>> JON DALY.

>> BELIEVE IT OR NOT I AMLEANING ON A FENCE I NEVER

THOUGHT I COULD FEEL SO RELAXED.

>> NOW, ANY MILLENNIALS HE ISREFERRING TO THE GREATEST

AMERICAN HERO.

>> BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

>> YOU GUYS REMEMBER THE THEMESONG?

>> BELIEVE IT OR NOT, OH, I'MWALKING ON AIR.

♪>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

>> AND THEN THE LAST ONE.

>> (BLEEP).

AMAZING. NO, YOU ARE UNDERARREST.

YES, JON DALY.

>> THE MEETING OF THE ROBINTHICK FAN CLUB HAS NOW COME TO

ORDER.

BEFORE THE BREAK READ AN AMAZONREVIEW THAT WE LOVE ABOUT SUGAR

FREE GUMMY BEARS WHICHAPPARENTLY CAUSE REALLY

EXCELLENTLY HORRIBLE DIARRHEA.

AND BY THE WAY IF YOU GO TO THATPAGE, IT IS REVIEW AFTER REVIEW.

SOMEHOW THEY STILL GOT THREESTARS, THOUGH.

>> SO COMEDIANS, I ASKED YOU TOTELL ME THE NAME OF THE NOVEL

FROM WHICH THIS REVIEW WASPROBABLY TAKEN, LET'S SEE WHAT

YOU WROTE, JON DALY.

>> CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATEFACTORY

[APPLAUSE]>> YOU KNOW.

>> GET OUT OF TOWN! GET OUT OFTOWN! GOOD CLEAN FUN.

>> YOU KNOW, COME ON.

ALL RIGHT.

JUDY KLAUSNER.

>> PUSH, A NOVEL BY SAPPHIRE.

[ APPLAUSE ]>>

> GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!>>

>> HORATIO SANZ HAS JUST SPIKEDTHE BALL ON @MIDNIGHT

>> HORATIO SANZ

>>SHE DID NOT DIE FOR NOTHING.

IT'S NOW TIME TO PLAY THINKOUTSIDE THE INBOX.

[APPLAUSE]

EVERY NOW AND AGAIN YOU GET ANEMAIL WITH A SUBJECT LINE THAT

YOU KNOW IS GONNA BE BAD LIKEWE NEED TO TALK OR ONLY THREE

DAYS LEFT TO SUPPORT MYKICKSTARTER!

I DON'T KNOW YOU!

>>I WANT U GUYS TO FIRE OFF E-MAIL SUBJECT LINES NO ONE

WANTS TO RECEIVE IN THEIRIN-BOX.

FOR EACH ONE THAT MAKES ALL OFUS LAUGH AND ALSO WANT TO AVOID

WE WILL GIVE YOU 250 POINTS.

I AM GOING TO PUT 60-SECOND TONSCLOCK NOW AND GO.

JUDY KLAUSNER.

>> I GOT MY ONE WAN SHOWDOWNTO 300 PAGES, PLEASE READ.

>> I'VE GOTTEN THAT ONE.

>>YES, HORATIO.

>>UH MOM'S NEW SEX VIDEO

>>POINTS!

YES, JULIE.>>I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT

PALESTINE.>>POINTS.

JON DALY.>>OUT OF OFFICE REPLY

I'M HOMELESS.>>POINTS.

JON.>>HELLO AMERICAN FRIEND, I AM

NIGERIAN PRINCE AND THIS IS WHATIT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN THE NIGERIAN

DOVES CRY.>>POINTS!

[APPLAUSE]POINTS. YES, JON DALY.

SEVEN>>NOPE, DO IT ANYWAY

>>SEVEN DAYS LEFT TO UH SHIALEBOUF'S KICKSTARTER

STARTER FOR THE WEB SITE, TOSTART A WEB SITE CALLED KICK

STARTER.

>> SHIA LEBOUF IS A PLAGIARIST!

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