CC Presents: Wanda Sykes

  • 11/30/1998

Wanda Sykes discusses marriage warranties and the difficulty of performing for a feminist benefit.

BUT Y'ALL LOOK GOOD.

OH, MAN.

IT'S SO GOODTO BE OUT HERE,

DOING THIS,FOR COMEDY CENTRAL.

BUT, YOU KNOW,COMEDY CENTRAL,

THEY TOLD ME I HADTO WATCH MY LANGUAGE

BECAUSE THE WOMAN SAID THEYHAVE STANDARDS AND PRACTICES.

I WAS LIKE, "WAIT A MINUTE,YOU'RE COMEDY CENTRAL.

"AREN'T YOU THE NETWORKWHERE YOUR #1 SHOW

"IS A CARTOON WITHA TALKING PIECE OF !@#$% ?!

MR. HANKEY ?!"

YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY I KEEPMY CLOTHES ON OUT HERE, MAN.

I ALWAYSGET IN TROUBLE,

PEOPLE TELLING MEWHAT TO SAY.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

I HOPE THIS SHOW GOESBETTER THAN MY LAST SHOW.

MY LAST SHOW, I DID A BENEFITFOR A FEMINIST ORGANIZATION.

ALRIGHT,NOW, SEE,

NOW THE THING "BENEFIT"MEANS NO MONEY.

SO I SHOULD BE ABLE TOSAY WHAT I WANNA SAY.

I FIGURED IF I PISSEDTHEM OFF, WHO CARES ?

WHAT, ARE THEY GONNAGET MAD AND PAY ME ?

NOTHINGTO LOSE, RIGHT ?

SO IT'S ALL FEMINIST.

GLORIA STEINEMSITTING RIGHT UP FRONT.

SO I WALK OUT THERE,I'M LIKE, "HEY LOOK,

"I CAN'T STAY HERE TOO LONGWITH YOU BROADS

"'CAUSE I GOTTA GET HOMEAND COOK MY MAN

"A NICE HOT DINNER !

AND HE LIKESORAL SEX BY 9:45 !"

I'M GLAD Y'ALL LAUGHED,THEY DIDN'T.

THEY DIDN'T FINDANYTHING FUNNY.

I GOT SCARED.

I WAS LIKE, OH, LORD,I HAVE MADE THESE WOMEN MAD.

I HAVE STEPPEDOVER THE LINE.

I WAS LIKE, "LADIES,CALM DOWN, I'M JUST JOKING.

HE LIKESORAL SEX ANY TIME !"

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM ?

MY CLINTON JOKES EITHER.

THEY DIDN'TLIKE THEM.

BECAUSE THEY ALLBIG CLINTON SUPPORTERS.

I'M A BIG CLINTONSUPPORTER TOO,

BUT I DIDN'T REALIZETHE MAN WAS AN IDIOT.

HE'S AN IDIOT.

THE PRESIDENT ISON NATIONAL TV

APOLOGIZING FORGETTING ORAL SEX.

WHY DIDN'T HE JUSTSTICK WITH HIS LIE ?

YOU GOTTA STICKWITH YOUR LIE.

IF YOU LIE MAN,

YOU HAVE TO BELIEVETHAT LIE WHOLE HEARTEDLY.

IT HAS TO BECOMETHE TRUTH FOR YOU.

THIS MAN, THE MOSTPOWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD,

IS ON NATIONAL TV

APOLOGIZINGFOR RECEIVING ORAL SEX.

HE'S AN IDIOT.

THERE ARE MEN SITTING HERERIGHT NOW WHO WOULD

GLADLY ACCEPT ORAL SEXON NATIONAL TV !

WHY ARE YOUAPOLOGIZING ?

ORAL SEX IS NOTGROUNDS FOR IMPEACHMENT.

IT'S NOT... IT'S NOT.

ORAL SEX IS NOT A HIGH CRIME,IT'S NOT A MISDEMEANOR.

IT'S NOT TREASON.

HE GOT ORAL SEX FROMA WHITE HOUSE INTERN,

NOT FROM ANIRAQI SECRET AGENT !

IT WAS PATRIOTICIF YOU ASK ME.

HE KEPT IT IN THE HOUSE,I LIKE THAT.

IF THE MAN WERETO STAY WITH HIS LIE

HE COULD HAVE SAVED US ALLA LOT OF EMBARRASSMENT.

HE REALLY COULD,IT'S EMBARRASSING.

OTHER COUNTRIESARE LAUGHING AT US.

AND YOU KNOW,OTHER WORLD LEADERS

ARE JUST PRANK CALLINGHIM ALL DAY.

ALL DAY, JUST CALLINGTHE WHITE HOUSE.

"HELLO, BILL ?

"GUESS WHAT I'MDO RIGHT NOW ?

"COME ON, GUESS.

"WOULD YOU LIKETO SPEAK WITH HER ?

"OH NO, SHE CAN'TTALK RIGHT NOW.

HEY, NOW WHOSECOUNTRY SUCKS, HUH ?"

THEY PULLED OUT THATDRESS TO SCARE HIM.

THAT SCARED HIM,THAT LITTLE DRESS WITH THE DNA.

HE LOST IT,HE GAVE UP THE LIE.

BUT MY THING ISWHO'S GONNA BELIEVE A WOMAN

WHO KEEPSA NASTY DRESS ?

THEY OUGHT TO TOSS THATRIGHT OUT OF COURT.

"EXCUSE ME, YOUR HONOR,SHE KEPT THE DRESS.

"WHAT ?CASE DISMISSED.

AND GET YOUR NASTY ASSOUT OF MY COURTROOM !"

"I'LL OUGHTTATHROW YOU IN JAIL

"JUST FOR BEING NASTY,MISS NASTY ASS !

"WHAT ELSE YOU KEEP,SOME OLD Q-TIPS ?

"SOME TISSUES, WHAT ?

"HOW OLD ARE THOSE DRAWERSYOU WEARING, MISS NASTY ASS ?

WIPE ALL THIS OFFWHERE SHE WAS SITTING TOO."

THEY PULLED THAT DRESSOUT MAN AND HE LOST IT.

A LITTLE DNA.

HE'S NOT SMART.

MAN, THEY HAD DNA,BLOOD, A GLOVE,

TWO DEAD BODIES,A LIMO DRIVER,

A BARKING DOG

AND O.J. STILL SAID"I'M A 100% NOT GUILTY."

I DO, I STILL SAY...

BECAUSE AFRICAN-AMERICAN,IT'S NOT...

THEY DON'TGIVE YOU NO BONUS.

IT'S NOT GONNA MAKEYOUR LIFE ANY EASIER.

YOU DON'T SEE BLACK PEOPLESTANDING AROUND GOING

"WHOA, YEAH,AFRICAN-AMERICAN.

"MAN, I TELL YOU,

"THIS BEATS THE HELLOUT OF BEING BLACK.

"WE SHOULD HAVE MADETHE SWITCH YEARS AGO.

"OH, THIS IS NICE.

"EXCUSE ME, I'M HERETO PICK UP MY LOAN.

"MISS HALL, YOU WERE REJECTEDFOR THAT LOAN LAST WEEK.

"OH, THAT WAS LAST WEEK,I WAS BLACK THEN.

"SEE, I'M AFRICAN-AMERICAN NOW,

"I'LL JUST GO IN THE VAULTAND TAKE WHAT I NEED.

I'LL SIGNON MY WAY OUT."

( applause )

AFRICAN-AMERICANAIN'T HELPIN' NOBODY.

YOU THINKRODNEY KING'S BLACK ASS

IS SITTINGSOMEWHERE GOING,

"DAMN, IF I JUST WOULDHAVE WAITED TWO YEARS

"BEFORE I ACTED A FOOL,

"THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEENBEATING MY BLACK ASS.

I WOULD HAVE BEENAFRICAN-AMERICAN."

I UNDERSTAND THAT OLDAFRICAN-AMERICAN THING THOUGH.

SOME BLACK PEOPLEWANT TO GET IN TOUCH

WITH THEIR AFRICAN ROOTS,THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT TO DO.

TRYING TO FINDTHEIR AFRICAN ROOTS.

BUT SOME BLACK PEOPLEJUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

YOU TELL THEM, I JUST GOTBACK FROM THE MOTHERLAND,

THEY GO, "WHERE'DYOU GO, DETROIT ?

DID YOU SEETHE TEMPTATIONS ?"

THEY DON'T CARE.

AND I UNDERSTANDTHAT ATTITUDE.

I REALLY DO,I UNDERSTAND THAT ATTITUDE.

THEY DON'T CAREABOUT AFRICA.

'CAUSE THINK ABOUT IT--

I KNOW WE WERETAKEN FROM THERE,

BUT NOT ONCE DID THEYEVER COME OVER HERE

AND TRY TOTAKE US BACK.

I NEVER READ ABOUTANY FAILED RESCUE MISSIONS.

WHEN AMERICANSARE TAKEN HOSTAGE,

WE GO GET THEM, RIGHT ?

WE SEND PLANES ANDTROOPS AND BOMBS, JESSE JACKSON.

WE GO GET THEM.

NOT ONCE HAVE I EVERBEEN OUT SHOPPING,

SOME BROTHERROLLED UP ON ME,

"PSST...

"PSSST...

"HEY SISTER.

"I'VE BEEN LOOKINGFOR YOU FOR MANY YEARS.

"COME, THE BOATIS THIS WAY.

WE ARE GOING HOME."

( applause )

THEY DON'T KNOWWHAT HE IS NOW.

I REMEMBER WHENHE WAS BLACK.

THEY WEREWRITING ABOUT HIM.

IT WAS WHENHE WAS AN AMATEUR,

THEY WERE WRITINGABOUT HIM.

"HEY, THIS BLACK KIDCOMING OUT OF STANFORD

IS GONNA BE THEHOTTEST THING IN GOLF."

THAT'S WHAT THEYWERE SAYING, RIGHT ?

AS SOON AS HE TURNED PRO ANDHE WON HIS FIRST TOURNAMENT,

I READ "BI-RACIAL GOLFERWINS FIRST TOURNAMENT".

OH, OKAY 50/50,HE'S 50% BLACK, 50% ASIAN.

THEN AFTERHE WON THE MASTERS,

I'M FLIPPING THROUGH"SPORTS ILLUSTRATED"

AND I READ "TIGER WOODSIS 1/4 BLACK."

I'M LIKE, "DAMN,HE'S DOWN TO 25% NOW.

"WHAT THE HELLIS GOING ON ?

THEY'RE TREATING HIMLIKE HE'S MILK !"

YOU KNOW, WHOLE MILK,HALF-AND-HALF,

TWO PERCENT,ONE PERCENT, SKIM.

FOR EVERY WIN,HE'S LOSING SOME BLACKNESS.

ONLY THINGKEEPING HIM BLACK

IS EVERY NOW AND THENHIS FATHER SHOWS UP.

"HEY, THAT'SMY BOY ALRIGHT !"

DON'T TRYTO STEAL HIM NOW.

THEY TAKING HIM AWAY,I'M TELLIN' YOU.

ONE MORE MAJOR TITLE,NEXT THING WE'LL READ,

"TIGER WOODS HASJUST BEEN NAMED

THE GRAND WIZARDOF THE KU KLUX KLAN."

YOU KNOW AS SOONAS HE GETS IN TROUBLE,

WHAT WILL WE READ ?

"BLACK GOLFER ARRESTED."

"WE'LL CALL HIMBLACK PANTHER WOODS,

FOUND HIM GUILTY."

ONLY PLACE HE'LL BE PLAYINGIS ON THE PUBLIC COURSES

WITH O.J. THEN, HUH.

"TIGER,WHAT'D YOU DO MAN ?"

"O.J., SHE WAS 13,I THOUGHT SHE WAS 21."

"WHAT'D YOU DO O.J. ?"

"NOTHING."

GOTTA STICKWITH YOUR LIE.

( applause )

YOU'RE CLAPPINGFOR MY MARRIAGE,

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T KNOWANYTHING ABOUT MY MARRIAGE.

I'M SO DAMN HAPPY.

THE THING ISWHEN YOU GET MARRIED,

YOU STAND THERE AND YOU SAY"'TIL DEATH DO YOU PART."

THAT'S WHAT YOU SAYIN THE MARRIAGE VOWS.

MAKE THAT VOW,STAY TOGETHER FOREVER.

THE DIVORCE RATEIS SKY HIGH

SO EVERYBODY JUSTLYING THEIR ASSES OFF !

WHY DON'TWE COME CLEAN ?

LET'S BE HONEST,YOU KNOW.

INSTEAD OF STANDING THERESAYIN' 'TIL DEATH DO YOU PART,

LET'S JUST GO,"I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT."

THEY SAY MARRIAGEIS A CONTRACT,

THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY,MARRIAGE IS A CONTRACT.

NO, IT'S NOT.

CONTRACTS COMEWITH WARRANTIES.

WHEN SOMETHINGGOES WRONG,

YOU CAN TAKE IT BACKTO THE MANUFACTURER.

YOUR HUSBANDSTARTS ACTING UP,

YOU CAN'T TAKE HIMBACK TO HIS MAMA'S HOUSE.

"UH, HE'S BROKE."

"I DON'T KNOW,HE JUST STOPPED WORKING.

JUST LAYING AROUND,MAKING A FUNNY NOISE."

CAN'T DO THAT...

'TIL DEATHDO YOU PART, MAN,

THAT'S BIBLICAL TIMES,MOSES WROTE THAT,

THAT'S INTHE OLD TESTAMENT.

THAT'S WAY BACK THEN.

THEY HAD NO PROBLEMSAYING

'TIL DEATH DOYOU PART BACK THEN,

BECAUSE THEY DIDN'TLIVE THAT LONG.

THEY HADGOOD PLAGUES.

AS SOON AS THAT GUYGOT ON YOUR NERVES,

HERE COMES SOME LOCUSTSWHO JUST COME IN

AND EAT HIS ASS UPFOR YOU.

NOW WE GOTANTIBIOTICS,

AND PERSONAL TRAINERS,

TOFU.

WE JUST HANGAROUND FOREVER.

'TIL ONE DAY YOU END UPLOOKING AT EACH OTHER...

"I SEE YOUGOT UP TODAY.

YOU SHOULDSTART SMOKING."

I THINK MY PARENTSARE THE EXCEPTION.

LAST WEEK THEY CELEBRATEDTHEIR 43rd WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER...

I HAVE GREAT PARENTS.

THE THING IS,I GET A DIVORCE,

THEY DON'TWANNA HEAR THAT.

I CAN SEEMY MOTHER NOW.

"WHAT ? YOU'REGONNA GET A DIVORCE.

"IT'S JUST THAT EASY.

"THINGS GET HARD,THINGS GET ROUGH,

"YOU JUST WANNATHROW IN THE TOWEL.

"LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,THAT'S A BUNCH OF BULL.

"LET ME TELLYOU SOMETHING.

"YOUR FATHER AND IHAD A SHOOT-OUT.

"HE TOOK ONEIN THE ARM, OKAY ?

"HARRY, SHOW THEMWHERE I SHOT YOU.

"SEE, THAT'SLOVE RIGHT THERE.

"GOTTA LEARN HOWTO WORK THESE THINGS OUT.

"HE WAS WRONG,I SHOT HIM, YOU MOVE ON."

SO PEOPLE ARE TRYINGTO FORCE US TO HAVE KIDS.

LIKE WE'RE CHEATINGOR SOMETHING.

"HEY, YOU GOTTA HAVESOME KIDS, ALRIGHT ?

YOU GOTTAHAVE SOME KIDS... "

LET ME TELL YOU,THEY ALL SAY THE SAME THING.

KIDS, THEY'RE A LOTTA WORK,BUT THEY'RE WORTH IT.

THEY'RE A LOTTA WORK,BUT THEY'RE WORTH IT.

BUT I NOTICED SOMETHING,

THEY NEVER LOOK YOUIN THE EYE WHEN THEY SAY IT.

IT'S ALWAYS, "KIDS,

THEY'RE A LOTTA WORK,BUT THEY'RE WORTH IT."

GOTTA GET A KID.

I TRY TO GET MY FRIENDSTO HANG OUT,

THE ONESWHO HAVE KIDS.

THEY NEVER WANNAHANG OUT WITH US.

IT'S LIKE, COME ON Y'ALL,LET'S HANG OUT.

"NO, NO, WE CAN'THANG OUT.

"WE'RE GONNA STAY HEREWITH THE KIDS TONIGHT.

"YEAH, YOU KNOW,THEY A LOT OF WORK,

"UH-HUH, BUTTHEY'RE WORTH IT.

"WE GOT TO STAY HEREWITH THE KIDS.

"MAYBE NEXT WEEKWE CAN HANG OUT OR SOMETHING.

"WHAT ?

"YOU GOING ONVACATION NEXT WEEK ?

"WELL, ISN'T THAT NICE,THAT'S JUST NICE.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING ?

"JAMAICA, WHOO, YEAH,THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

"WE STARTEDTO GO LAST YEAR,

"BUT BOBBYNEEDED BRACES.

"BOBBY SMILE ANDSHOW THEM JAMAICA, BABY,

"GO AHEAD, SEE ?

"WE RIGHT ON THE BEACH,LOOK AT THAT.

"YOU KNOW,THEY A LOT OF WORK,

BUT THEY'REWORTH IT, YEAH."

I HAVE NEPHEWS.

THEY LOVE SPENDING TIMEWITH US, THEY LOVE IT.

BECAUSE WE LET THEM DOWHATEVER THEY WANNA DO.

THEY'RE NOT OUR KIDS,WE DON'T CARE.

ONLY THINGI HAVE TO DO

IS KEEP YOU ALIVE,THAT'S IT.

THAT'S IT,THEY COME VISIT US,

"WHAT, NO DINNER ?ALRIGHT, FINE.

"ICE CREAM ALL DAY.HOW ABOUT THAT ?

"I DON'T HAVE TOCOOK A DAMN THING.

"JUST SCOOP IT OUT,EAT UP.

I DON'T PAY YOURDENTAL BILLS, I DON'T CARE."

I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIMETHEY STAYED WITH US,

MY SISTER-IN-LAW CALLED US,IT WAS AFTER MIDNIGHT.

SHE'S LIKE, "DID YOUHAVE A HARD TIME

GETTING THEBOYS TO SLEEP ?"

"SLEEP, GIRL,WE SITTING UP,

DRINKING LIQUOR,PLAYING NINTENDO !"

THEY'RE NOT MY KIDS.

I DON'T GO OUTWITH MY SINGLE FRIENDS,

NOT AT ALL.

'CAUSE I NEVER HAVEA GOOD TIME.

NEVER HAVE FUN.

WE GO TO A CLUB.

GUY COME OVER, "HEY,CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK ?"

THEY'RE LIKE "NO, UH-UH,SHE'S MARRIED."

I'M LIKE, "YEAH I'M MARRIED,"BUT I'M THIRSTY,

"WHY DON'T YOUSHUT THE HELL UP ?

AND LET ME HAVEA FREE DRINK."

'CAUSE WOMEN LOVEFREE DRINKS, WE DO.

BUT I NOTICED SOMETHING,

GUYS DON'T BUY YOUFREE DRINKS LIKE THEY USED TO.

REMEMBERTHE GOOD OLD DAYS ?

REMEMBER THEGOOD OLD DAYS ?

YOU'D GO TOYOUR LOCAL BAR,

AND THE BARTENDERWOULD COME OVER AND SAY

"EXCUSE ME, MA'AM,

"THE GENTLEMANWAY OVER IN THE CORNER,

HE WOULD LIKETO BUY YOU A DRINK."

YOU WOULD SAY "OKAY,THANK YOU, BEAUTIFUL."

AND YOU WOULD GETYOUR DRINK,

AND THE GREATESTTHING OF ALL,

HE WOULD KEEP HIS ASS WAYOVER THERE IN THE CORNER

AND LEAVE YOUTHE HELL ALONE.

AND LET YOU ENJOYYOUR PEACE IN PRIVATE.

ALL YOU HAD TO DOWAS SHAKE IT AT HIM.

"THANK YOU...THANK YOU."

"NO, STAY OVER THERE."

NOW, GUYS DON'TDO THAT NOW,

UH-UH, NO, HELL NO.

A GUY BUYS YOUA DRINK NOW,

HE THINKS THATGIVE HIM THE RIGHT

TO STALK YOU FORTHE REST OF THE NIGHT.

HE'S IN YOUR FACEBEFORE THE DRINK GETS THERE.

YOU KNOWTHAT GUY ?

"HA, HA, HA...

"HOW YOU DOING GIRL ?HOW YOU DOING ?

"YEAH, YOU CANCALL ME "DRINK MAN".

"WHAT'S YOUR NAME ?WHAT'S YOUR NAME ?

"WANDA, OOHHH.WANNY WAN...

"WANDA, WANDA.

"I WAS WONDERINGHOW YOU GONNA PAY ME BACK

FOR THATDRINK LATER ON ?"

YOU GO TOTHE LADIES ROOM,

YOU COME OUT, HE'S LEANINGAGAINST THE SINK.

"WELL, WELL, WELL, WE MEET AGAIN.

"DRINK MAN.

"GIRL, YOU KEEPTHIS UP,

I'M GONNA THINK YOUFOLLOWING ME."

YOU ON THE DANCE FLOOR,WHOO, YEAH,

YOU TURN AROUND.

"AH, AH...REMEMBER ME ?"

"DRINK MAN, YEAH."

"COME ON GIRL,I PAID FOR THAT DRINK.

YOU OWE ME."

"YOU LIKE LOOKYOU GAVE ME A DRINK,

"NOT A KIDNEY.

YOU BETTER GET THE HELLAWAY FROM ME."

WITH MEN AND WOMEN,

IT COMES DOWNTO SEX, YOU KNOW.

WE'RE ON DIFFERENT LEVELSWHEN IT COMES TO SEX.

THERE'SSOMETHING IN MEN,

THAT'S WHY THERE'S STILLPEOPLE WALKING AROUND THE EARTH.

THERE'S SOMETHING INNATE.

I THINK MEN HAVE SOMETHINGIN THERE, WHERE THEY'RE LIKE,

"WE GOTTA MAKEMORE PEOPLE.

"WE GOTTA MAKE MORE PEOPLE.

AND WOMEN ARE LIKE,

"WHO THE HELL'S GONNATAKE CARE OF ALL THESE PEOPLE ?

HEY, GET OFF ME !"

MEN AND WOMEN,

WE'RE ON DIFFERENT LEVELSWHEN IT COMES TO SEX.

LOOK AT THEPORNO INDUSTRY.

THAT'S A BILLIONDOLLAR INDUSTRY

AND MEN SUPPORT IT,THEY ACT OUT THEIR FANTASIES

WHAT'S THE #1 FANTASYFOR MOST GUYS ?

WHAT IS IT LADIES ?

TWO WOMEN, EXACTLY, TWO GIRLS,THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT.

THIS GREEDY BASTARDSAID THREE.

( laughter )

THAT'S FORINFLATION, HUH ?

THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT,TWO WOMEN.

FELLAS, I THINKTHAT'S A BIT LOFTY.

'CAUSE, COME ON,THINK ABOUT IT,

IF YOU CAN'T SATISFYONE WOMAN,

WHY DO YOU WANNAPISS OFF ANOTHER ONE ?

WHY HAVE TWO ANGRY WOMENIN THE BED WITH YOU

AT THE SAME TIME ?

THINK ABOUT IT.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HATETO TALK AFTER SEX.

IMAGINE HAVING TWO WOMENJUST NAGGING YOU TO DEATH.

"SO WHAT AREYOU THINKING ?

COME ON, LET'S TALK."

"HOLD ME.

WE NEVER CUDDLE."

THAT'S THE THING MAN,TWO WOMEN, TWO WOMEN.

THAT'S PROOF RIGHT THERE,

MEN AND WOMEN ARE ONDIFFERENT LEVELS.

BECAUSE MEN CAN WATCHTWO WOMEN TOGETHER,

THAT'S A TURN-ON.

DOESN'T WORK THE SAME WAYFOR US, DOES IT LADIES ?

NO, DOESN'TWORK THE SAME.

YOU ASK ANY WOMEN IN HEREHER SEXUAL FANTASY,

I WILL BET YOUA MILLION DOLLARS

IT'S NOT TO GO HOMEAND CATCH YOUR MAN

BENT OVER WITH SOME BIG GUYSTANDING BEHIND HIM.

"OH, YEAH.

"SAY MY NAME,SAY MY NAME !

WHO'S YOUR DADDY ?WHO'S THE DADDY ?!"

THAT'LL RUIN YOUR DAY.

WHAT DO YOU SAY,

"WHAT THE HELLIS GOING ON HERE ?!"

YOU DON'T WANNACATCH YOUR HUSBAND

SHARING A WARMBUBBLE BATH

WITH HIS NEWBOWLING PARTNER ?

WHAT DO YOUSAY TO THAT ?

YOU WALK IN,

"WHAT THE HELLIS GOING ON HERE ?"

"CALM DOWN HONEY,

"I BOWLEDA PERFECT GAME.

HE BOUGHT ME A DRINK."

THE GUY TURNSAROUND... "AH, HA !

"REMEMBER ME ?

YEAH...DRINK MAN !"

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