February 9, 2016 - The Suffers

  • 02/09/2016

Donald Trump lashes out at Ted Cruz, Jessica Williams examines the Democrats' gender divide, and The Suffers perform songs from their self-titled debut album.

how did the candidatesspend their time in the state?

Well, uh, by panderingto New Hampshire's

number one cultural institution.

If you want to winNew Hampshire,

you've got to make it rainin the Dunkin'.

NEWSMAN: ...Hillary Clinton making a breakfast stop

at this Manchester Dunkin' Donuts.

NEWSMAN: ...with Rubio here in New Hampshire,

his wife Jeanette and their four children

looking for a snack.

Today it's donuts.

We're going to Dunkin' Donuts.

According to Boston.com,Democrat Hillary Clinton

spent nearly $1,900

-at Dunkin' Donuts. -NEWSWOMAN: In second, Jeb Bush

at just over 400 bucks.

Bernie Sanders in third at more than $230.

NEWSMAN: Donald Trump only spent ten dollars!

(laughter)

Oh, Hillary Clinton bought$1,900 worth of donuts.

Wow. She hasn't seenthat much dough

since her last speechto Goldman Sachs.

That was just...The only reason that Trump

only spent ten dollars wasbecause he stole them from Jeb.

That's what he did.He just stole all the donuts.

And speaking of Jeb,this is my favorite part

of the whole thing--and this is real.

A real Instagram postedby the Bush campaign

of Jeb working the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru

in New Hampshire. That's him.

Which means he'seither really determined

to win the presidency,or he's just getting ready

for the job he's actuallygonna end up with after this.

But as we head furtherand further into the primaries,

you realize that two thingsare happening.

The party infighting increases,

and what each party's candidatesare fighting about,

it's very particular.

A perfect example of thisreared its head

at the Saturday nightGOP debate.

Senator Cruz, someof the other candidates say

they don't thinkwaterboarding is torture.

If elected president,would you bring it back?

Uh, I would not bring it backin any sort of widespread use,

but when it comesto keeping this country safe,

you can rest assuredthat as commander in chief

I would use whatever enhancedinterrogation methods we could

to keep this country safe.

So you'd bring it back.

I mean, that's what he's saying.

And I love how Ted Cruzis talking about torture

like it's the McRib.

(like Cruz):I'm not bringing it back

in any sort of widespread use,but if America needs it,

then... yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum.

(laughter)

This is so insane.You realize what they're saying?

Ted Cruz would waterboardin some situations,

which in itself is crazy--

because it's torture.

And it was a positionthat seemed pretty far out...

for about ten seconds.

I would bring backwaterboarding,

and I'd bring back a hell ofa lot worse than waterboarding.

(applause, shouts)

(laughter)

Donald Trump is likea really evil little kid.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'll bring back double waterboarding!

-(laughter)-Who's your dad?

Now, this may sound like

another one of Trump'svague campaign promises,

but his plansfor torturing detainees

are actually quite specific.

You see, first he plansto round up the people

from all over the world,

and then he'll deny them foodfor days on end.

Then he would force themto shave their hair,

then he'd strip them downto their underwear,

then he'd make them paradearound in front of people,

and finally, he'd subject themto harsh interrogation

about their beliefson the world.

And then,even if they fully cooperated,

just before they're released,someone would come out and say,

"I'm so sorry, there's beena mistake on the card.

-(laughter)-"I'm so, so sorry.

You got to go back in."

So for Cruz and Trump,the key question is

whether the U.S.should conduct torture

or conduct... more torture.

Both positionsare fairly extreme,

but as Donald Trumpkeeps showing,

only one...can be the extremist.

The other night at debatethey asked Ted Cruz...

serious question: "Well, whatdo you think of waterboarding?

Is it okay?" And honestly,I thought he'd say,

"Absolutely," and he didn't.

She just said a terrible thing.

You know what she said?

Shout it out,'cause I don't want...

(woman shouts indistinctly)

She said he's a pussy.That's terrible.

-(audience shouting)-Terrible.

Ah, that-that's terrible,that's terrible.

Terrible thatI didn't think of that. Aw...

Speechwriter, you're fired.

I love how he acts like...he's not...

He's happy about that.

Donald Trump--this is so insane--

Donald Trump, the leader of theRepublican presidential race,

is basically calling Ted Cruza "torture pussy."

And the craziest part is,

he's still probably goingto win tonight.

And you heard the crowd--the crowd was going crazy.

You know?It's a little frightening.

It makes you wonder--

who are the people who go to these Trump rallies

and actually cheer when he says these crazy things?

It's just... the...

Oh, dear God.

She said he's a pussy.That's terrible.

-(whooping)-(cheering, whistling)

Pussy! Yeah!

(laughter)

Dentist appointment, my ass.

Democrats are fighting

over something completely different:

which vote is friendlierto vaginas?

Women are a key groupin their primary,

and this election,equal pay, maternity leave

and Planned Parenthood fundingare huge issues.

Now, at firstyou'd think the idea

of the first female presidentwould be exciting

for women voters,but it turns out

not all of them feel that way.

Young women love Bernie Sanders.

NEWSWOMAN: Young female voters seem to be flocking

to the Bernie Sanders camp.

NEWSWOMAN: Look at these margins.

87% of women 18 to 34 years old

are leaning towards Sanders,

whereas just nine percent towards Hillary Clinton.

Damn...!

Move over, George Clooney,

there's a new silver foxin town.

Bernie is so popularwith young women,

he's gonna be president and replace Zayn in One Direction.

(laughter)

So, like an actuaryon the last day of Burning Man,

Hillary is scramblingto pick up young women.

And it's a tough spot to be in.

So she brought in the big guns,and unfortunately,

it didn't go as planned.

Feminist icon Gloria Steinem

is having to backpedalthis morning

after she suggested over the weekend

that younger women are supporting Bernie Sanders

in the Democratic presidential race

so they can meet boys.

Women are more for herthan men are,

-and she has...-But not younger women.

They're more for Bernie.

NEWSWOMAN: Steinem, an outspoken Hillary supporter,

tried to explain that women become more politically active

as they get older.

When you're young,you're thinking, you know,

where are the boys,the boys are with Bernie.

Oh, no.

That's terrible.

Because the boys are thinking,where are the girls?

So they goto the Hillary rallies,

and the girls are gonna beat the Bernie rallies

looking for the boys,

so they're not gonna findeach other,

and that means my parentswill have never met.

No...!

(laughter, applause)

Oh, oh, wait, wait, wait.

I'm not in the past.What was I doing?

Anyway, so, uh,so Gloria Steinem

inadvertently threw shade atyoung female Bernie supporters,

and, uh, to make things worse,just last week,

Hillary was endorsedby Madeleine Albright.

Now, if you don't know this,Madeleine Albright

was the first femalesecretary of state.

She was a U.S. ambassador,

and she couldn't bemore inspiring to young women.

And then she said this.

We can tell our storyabout how we climbed the ladder,

and a lot of you younger women

don't think you have to...it's been done.

It's not done,

and you have to help.

Hillary Clintonwill always be there for you.

And just remember,there's a special place in Hell

for women whodon't help each other.

(gasps, cheers, laughter)

Ha-ha-ha... What?

Everyone was laughingabout Hell. Ha-ha-ha...

Wait, what?A special place in Hell?

Talk about feeling the "Bern."

The funny thing is...the funny thing is,

I bet there are a lot of guyswho would be like,

"Hmm, tell me more aboutthis special place for women.

And how do I get in?"

He'd be like,"But it's got, uh... ladies."

No, it's in Hell.It doesn't matter.

So Gloria Steinemand Madeleine Albright implied

that womenshould vote for Hillary

just because they're women.

But Bernie's female supporters,

well, they see it differently.

I'm on the bad sideof a lot of women right now

for supporting Bernie,and... my line is always:

-I don't vote with my vagina.Which, um... -(whooping)

It's so insulting to womento think that you would...

follow a candidatejust because she's a woman.

Well, to be fair, I'm sure mostwomen don't support Hillary

just because she's a woman.

They support her because she'sa woman who supports policies

that help women.

I mean, if they wanted a womanwhose polices hurt women,

then they'd just votefor Carly Fiorina.

For more on this whole issue,we turn to senior

campaign correspondent,Jessica Williams, everybody.

Thank you. Hello.

(cheering, applause)

-Reporting live from tonight'sBernie Sanders rally. -Right.

Thanks for joining, Jessica.

Oh, yeah, thanksfor having me, Trevor.

Uh, Jessica,what's the mood like there?

(pants):Oh, I don't know. Nervous.

A little excited. I have...butterflies in my stomach.

Am I, like, blushing right now?

I... I guess there is a glowabout you. Why?

-Thank you.-What's going on?

My hormones arewhat's going on, Trevor.

They are all over the place.

I mean, didn't you hearGloria Steinem?

It's a Bernie rally, Trevor.

This is where all the boys are!

Well, I can't tellif you're being serious right...

Oh, yeah, I'm being so serious.

This place is crawlingwith college-age studs

that reek of Axe body spray

and have no clueon how to do their own laundry.

They eat cerealfor every meal, Trevor.

How cute is that?

(laughter)

-And you're into that?-Of course I'm into it!

I'm a woman, Trevor.I'm not made of stone.

I have needs.

You know what? Just listento all these messages

that these guysare sending me on Tinder.

They're so witty.

Here's one. Um...

"Damn, girl, I'll fill yourincome cap any day of the week."

Mm! Swipe right.

Here's another one.

"As a Socialist, my penisis too big not to share."

Yummy! Swipe right.

Trevor, I cannot letguys like this get away.

-Not in this climate. Mm-mm.-Uh, but, Jessica,

-Yeah? -you heardSusan Sarandon's notion

that women shouldn't votewith their vaginas.

I mean, Trevor, what elseam I gonna vote with?

I literally vote with my vagina.

That's right--these things aren't just made

for poppin' out babies.

They're like third hands.

And I know that dudescan pee standing up,

but big (bleep) deal,because I can pull a lever

with this bad bitch. Hey...!

-O... O-Okay. All right.-Rrr! Rrr! Rrr! Rrr!

-I get it, I get it, I get it.-Rrr! Rrr...

-Clearly, you're annoyed...-That's my vadge.

clearly, you're annoyed

that people keepdragging gender into this.

Yeah. Thank youfor finally catching up, Trevor.

Yeah. The sexism is annoying,

but it's the women shaming eachother that's the most upsetting.

It is so diminishing for womento accuse other women

of supporting Hillary only because she's a woman.

I mean,I don't just worship Beyoncé

because we're both black--I worship her

because we're both super hotand should probably get

both our thighs insured.

-(laughter)-Okay, so...

so you agreewith the Hillary supporters?

No, I don't.

Both sides are beingstraight-up booty right now.

Because it's diminishing alsofor women to tell other women

that they're obligatedto vote for Hillary

because, you know,we all have vaginas.

We as women need to rememberthat we all want one thing,

and it's Michelle Obama's arms.

(laughter)

But also, seriously,we want the freedom to vote

for who we want to,regardless of what our husbands

or wivesor friends say about it.

And you know what?While I'm at it, since I'm here,

no tax on tampons,how about that?

-I'm gonna throw that in there.-(cheering)

Yeah, I said it. I know that'snot what this chat is about.

I know that'snot the issue at hand.

I just can't even believeI'd have to stand here

-and say no tax on tampons.-Well, thank you, Jessica.

My guests tonight are a bandwhose self-titled debut album

is called The Suffers.

Now, to play the song "Peanuts"from that album,

please welcome the Suffers.

(cheering, applause)

♪ Oh...

♪ Hold my hand

♪ I'll makeyour eggs over easy ♪

♪ Just the way you like

♪ You give my hip that grip

♪ That lets me know that you

♪ That you, that you need me

♪ This life doesn't always

♪ Always

♪ Have to be so hard

♪ So why don't we get it right

♪ At the start?

-♪ Yeah -♪ Yeah ♪

-♪ Yeah -♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Can we hang a little

♪ Just love a little

♪ Won't you hold on to me?

♪ Please hang a little

♪ Love a little

♪ Hold on to me

♪ When I'm lookingin my mirror ♪

♪ Trying to point outwhat's wrong ♪

♪ That's when you walk up

♪ And you say you loved me

♪ You loved me all along, yeah

♪ 'Cause life doesn't always

♪ Always

♪ Have to be so hard

♪ So why don't we get it right

♪ At the start?

-♪ Yeah -♪ Yeah ♪

-♪ Yeah -♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Can we hang a little

♪ Just love a little

♪ Won't you hold on to me?

♪ Please hang a little

♪ Love a little

♪ Hold on

♪ On to me

♪ Mmm...

♪ Why don't we just

♪ Go hang?

♪ You know,like the way we used to ♪

♪ Why don't we just

♪ Go hang?

♪ You know,like the way we used to ♪

♪ Why don't we just

♪ Go hang?

♪ Hang a little

♪ Love a little

♪ Hold on to me

♪ Yeah, baby, hold on to me

♪ Yeah, you're all I need

♪ So why don't youhold on to me? ♪

♪ Yeah, you're all I need

♪ Why don't you hold on to me?

♪ Yeah, you're all I need

♪ So why don't youhold on to me? ♪

♪ Yeah, hold on to me,you're all I need ♪

♪ Hold on to me,you're all I need ♪

♪ Hold on to me

♪ You're all I need

♪ Hold on to me

♪ Why don't we just

♪ Go hang?

♪ You know,like the way we used to ♪

♪ Why don't we just

-♪ Go hang? -♪ You know, like the way we used to ♪

-♪ Like we used to do, usedto do ♪ - Why don't we just ♪

-♪ Go hang... ♪-♪ Used to do

♪ Used to do,used to do ♪

♪ Used to do, used to do.

(cheering, applause)

(song ends)

We're here with the Suffers,

which sounds likea torture name.

It sounds like a...

But that's not wherethe name came from, right?

(laughs):No, it's not.

It's a referenceto an old Jamaican movie

called the Rockers, and...

in that film, uh, the artistsare actually the Suffers.

The major labels aren't doingwhat they could be doing

to make surethat they're getting

-their just... deserved things.-Yeah.

And, you know,I feel like us, as artists,

we've been working for so longwith no real...

reward or attention,probably until recently.

This is pretty cool.

But, uh, you know, that wasn'treally what we were in it for.

We were in itfor the love of the music.

But it hitsa certain point where

if people are gonna makea dollar off of you,

that dollarshould at least go to you.

And that's whatyou've started doing now,

which is reallyan amazing story.

Uh, you are self-funded.

No label-- which I don't thinkwill last for very long.

But no label. You Kickstartedeverything yourselves,

and the album iscoming out this Friday.

(laughs):Yes, it is.

-NOAH: That's, uh...-(cheering, applause)

really impressive,really impressive.

The Suffers'self-titled debut album

will be in stores on Friday.

Now, to play us outwith the song "Midtown,"

please welcome once againthe Suffers.

(cheering, applause)

♪ Please let's go back to

♪ That bar off McGowen

♪ We used to love

♪ Those deep red paint walls

♪ White frames, old glass

♪ Surrounding us

♪ Boy, how's your life now?

♪ Did you marry that girlthat we talked about? ♪

♪ Well, I hopeyou made it real ♪

♪ 'Cause sometimes,I can't lie ♪

♪ I wish it was me

♪ Ooh...

♪ Do you ever wanna

♪ Go back, go back

♪ To you and me?

♪ 'Cause sometimes I need to

♪ Go back

♪ Go back to you and me

♪ Did you ever think to

♪ Go back, go back

♪ To you and me?

♪ Boy, it's been years now

♪ If I were to guess

♪ Maybe three or five

♪ Has she been good to you?

♪ Love you, mold you

♪ Did you change your life?

♪ I bet she doesall those things ♪

♪ That I

♪ That I would not do

♪ I'm forever unsure

♪ Because I

♪ I need to get beyond you

♪ Ooh...

♪ Do you ever wanna

♪ Go back, go back

♪ To you and me?

♪ 'Cause sometimes I need to

♪ Go back, go back

♪ To you and me

♪ Did you ever think to

♪ Go back, go back

♪ To you and me?

♪ Ah, ah, ah

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah

♪ Hey, yeah

♪ Please let's go back to

♪ That bar off McGowen

♪ We used to love, love, love

♪ Those deep red paint walls

♪ White frames, old glass

♪ Surrounding us

♪ Well, did you ever learn

♪ That it's not all about you?

♪ All about you ♪

♪ I'm forever unsure

♪ 'Cause you'renot trying to change ♪

♪ Ooh...

♪ Do you ever wanna

♪ Go back, go back

♪ To you and me?

♪ 'Cause sometimes I need to

♪ Go back, go back

♪ To you and me

♪ Did you ever think to

♪ Go back, go back

♪ To you and me?

♪ Hey...

♪ Yeah...

♪ Go back

♪ Go...

♪ Yeah...

♪ Yeah, yeah...

♪ Yeah...

♪ Yeah...

♪ Ooh...

♪ Go, go, go

♪ Go, go back

♪ Go back

♪ Go back, go back

♪ Go

♪ Ooh, back

♪ Boy, I want to go

♪ Ooh, back

♪ Can't we go

♪ Ooh, back?

♪ Boy, I want to go.

(song ends)

The Suffers are backto play one more song

from their album,exclusively for the Web.

The song is called"Make Some Room."

Please welcome one last time,the Suffers.

(cheering and applause)

♪ I know how to love

♪ And I know who I am

♪ Come on,let me love you a little ♪

♪ And help me understand

♪ Just tell me 'bout your loss

♪ And tell me 'bout your gains

♪ 'Cause I will be everythingthat you need in ♪

♪ In just one little frame

-♪ Come on, let me cookfor you, baby ♪ - Come on ♪

♪ Just relax,'cause I'm cleaning, too ♪

♪ I love youlike I've known you forever ♪

♪ I just need youto make some room ♪

-♪ Come on, let me cookfor you, baby ♪ - Come on ♪

♪ Just relax,'cause I'm cleaning, too ♪

-♪ Shooby, dooby, do, do, do ♪-♪ I love you

♪ Like I've known you forever

♪ I just need youto make some room ♪

♪ 'Cause, ooh, honey, ooh

♪ Oh, darling,and I do love you ♪

♪ I do love you ♪

♪ You can show me off

♪ To everyone you know

♪ You can trustthat I'll act like a lady ♪

♪ Until you take me home

♪ T-Tell me 'bout your loss

♪ And tell me 'bout your gains

♪ 'Cause I will be everythingthat you need in ♪

♪ In just one little frame

-♪ Come on, let me cookfor you, baby ♪ - Come on ♪

♪ Just relax,'cause I'm cleaning, too ♪

♪ I love youlike I've known you forever ♪

♪ I just need youto make some room ♪

-♪ Come on, let me cookfor you, baby ♪ - Come on ♪

♪ Just relax,'cause I'm cleaning, too ♪

-♪ Shooby, dooby, do, do, do ♪-♪ I love you

♪ Like I've known you forever

♪ I just need youto make some room ♪

♪ 'Cause, ooh, honey, ooh

♪ Oh, darling,and I do love you ♪

♪ I do love you ♪

-♪ Can't you see? -♪ Can't you see? ♪

♪ How wonderful this lovecould be? ♪

♪ If you just spend it with me

-♪ We could be -♪ We could be ♪

♪ Something happywe both do need ♪

♪ So won't you need itwith me? ♪

-♪ This could be -♪ This could be ♪

-♪ Something happy -♪ This could be ♪

♪ We both do need

♪ So won't you need itwith me? ♪

-♪ This could be -♪ This could be ♪

-♪ The happiness -♪ This could be ♪

♪ We both do need

♪ So won't you need itwith me? ♪

♪ I know how to work

♪ And I know how to please

♪ Come on, put some trustin me, baby ♪

♪ And I'll providesome needs ♪

♪ Just show me where it hurts

♪ I'll kiss the pain away

♪ And I will put everythingthat you needed ♪

♪ In just one little frame

♪ Come on, let me cookfor you, baby ♪ - Come on ♪

♪ Just relax'cause I'm cleaning, too ♪

♪ I love youlike I've known you forever ♪

♪ I just need youto make some room ♪

-♪ Come on, let me cookfor you, baby ♪ - Come on ♪

♪ Just relax'cause I'm cleaning, too ♪

♪ Shooby, dooby, do, do, do ♪

♪ I know youlike I've known you forever ♪

♪ I just need youto make some room 'cause ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Honey, mmm, mmm, mmm

♪ Oh, honey,and I do love you ♪

♪ Honey, and I do love you ♪

-♪ Can't you see -♪ Can't you see ♪

-♪ How wonderful -♪ Can't you see ♪

♪ This love could be

♪ And it is madeof we, me ♪

-♪ Oh, we could be -♪ We could be ♪

-♪ The happiness -♪ We could be ♪

♪ We both to need

♪ So won't you need itwith me? ♪

-♪ This could be -♪ This could be ♪

♪ Something happy

-♪ This could be ♪-♪ We both do need

♪ So won't you need itwith me? ♪

-♪ We could be -♪ We could be ♪

-♪ Something happy -♪ We could be ♪

♪ We both do need

♪ So won't you need itwith me? ♪

♪ So, baby, I, I

♪ I

♪ Oh, I do love you

♪ Yeah, so, honey, I,oh, I, oh, I ♪

-♪ Oh, I do love you -♪ Oh, I do love you ♪

♪ Do you want a sandwich?

(cheering)

Yeah.

♪ 'Cause I'll make one for you

(whooping, cheering)

♪ You want a Michelada?

-(whooping)-MAN: Yeah!

♪ Hey, 'causeI'll mix one for you ♪

♪ Oh, baby

♪ Do you want some loving,baby? ♪

-♪ Loving, baby ♪-♪ Ooh, yes, ooh, yes

♪ 'Cause I'll give thatto you ♪

-♪ I'll give that to you ♪-♪ Oh, baby

♪ 'Cause, honey, I do,I do, I do ♪

♪ Yes, I'll always love you

♪ I'll always love you ♪-♪ Ooh, baby

♪ 'Cause, honey, I do,I do, I do ♪

-♪ Yes, I'll always... -♪ Always love you, yes ♪

-♪ 'Cause, honey, I... -♪ Yes, yes ♪

♪ Honey, I'll always love you

-♪ I'll always love you ♪-♪ Oh, baby

♪ 'Cause, honey, I do,I do, I do ♪

♪ Yes, I'll always love you.

-(song ends)-(applause and cheering)