Slade, Swisher, Hastings, Marley

  • Season 6, Ep 610
  • 01/03/2003

IN NEW YORK.

LOVE LIVIN' IN NEW YORK;

NO PLACE LIKE IT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ALL RIGHT.

I HAVE FAMILY IN VIRGINIA.

WHEN I FIRST MOVED TO NEW YORK

THEY WERE LIKE, "GIRL, YOU--

NEW YORK?

YOU BETTER BUY A GUN!"

THAT'S WHAT MY FATHER SAY.

"YOU OUGHTA BUY A GUN."

I WAS LIKE "I AIN'T BUYING

A GUN.

THAT'S STUPID.

NEW YORK AIN'T ALL LIKE PEOPLE

THINK.

YOU KNOW."

"NO, NO. YOU GOTTA BUY A GUN."

HE EVEN TOLD ME THE TYPE OF GUN

TO BUY.

YEAH.

I WENT TO LOOK FOR THIS GUN,

THIS GUN COST $400.

MAN, IF I SPEND $400 FOR A GUN,

I'M SHOOTING SOMEBODY.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

I AM NOT LETTING A $400 GUN

GO TO WASTE.

AND I KNOW ME.

I GET ANNOYED EASILY, YOU KNOW.

SO I'M THE WRONG PERSON TO HAVE

A GUN.

I MEAN, I WILL SHOOT PEOPLE IN

MY HOUSE THAT I INVITED OVER.

(LAUGHTER)

"WHAT YOU SAY?

OH, THAT'S STUPID.

WHERE THE HELL'S MY GUN?

NO, NO, NO.

DON'T GO NOWHERE.

LET ME SHOOT YOUR ASS FIRST."