Little Italy

  • Season 1, Ep 2
  • 06/15/2011

Jon falls hard for one of the littlest Little Little Italians, and they have a tiny, torrid affair.

- TONIGHT ON JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN...

WE BRING YOU THE STORYOF ONE MAN'S COURAGE

IN THE FACEOF ADVERSITY.

THE HISTORICLITTLE ITALY SECTION

OF NEW YORK CITY ISGETTING SMALLER AND SMALLER.

IS IT IN DANGER OFDISAPPEARING ALTOGETHER?

AND WE TALK TOTHE YOUNGEST PERSON

CURRENTLY ON DEATH ROW.

DO YOU FEEL REMORSEFOR WHAT YOU DID?

- [whimpering]

ALL THIS AND MOREON TONIGHT'S

JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN.

[inspiring music]

- AHH!

[bomb beeping]

[explosion]

[birds chirping]

[dramatic music]

- THIS IS IT, NO MERCY.

- NO MERCY.

[laughs]

all: [screaming][squishing sound]

[Italian opera music]

[glass breaking]

- [screams]

- AAH!

[loud explosion]

[glass breaking]

- ALL RIGHT,ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

WE'RE DONE.

LET'S EAT.

[glass breaking]

- AAH!

- [moaning]

- [coughs]

- AAH!

AAH!

- [crying] JON.

- GABRIELLA.

- [crying] HELP ME.

- YOU SHOULD HAVETOLD ME YOU WERE 15.

I CAN GET IN A [bleep]LOADOF TROUBLE FOR THAT.

- PLEASE, DO SOMETHING.

I LOVE YOU--

[squishing sound]

- [sighs]

SORRY.

SUFFEREDA HORRIBLE ACCIDENT

WHILE WORKING RIGHTHERE ON HIS FARM.

AFTER FALLING INTOTHE FEEDER OF A GRAIN THRESHER,

BROSS WAS BASICALLYFLAYED ALIVE.

AFTER COUNTLESS SURGERIESEVEN THE BEST DOCTORS

IN THE WORLDCOULDN'T REPAIR

THE HORRENDOUS DEFORMITIES

THAT BROSS HAD SUFFERED.

IN 2009 HE WAS INTERVIEWED

BY NEBRASKAN REPORTER,GREG DEVLIN.

- IT WAS PROBABLYTHE MOST DISGUSTING THING

I'D EVER EXPERIENCEDIN MY LIFE.

- WHERE WERE YOUWHEN YOU SAW HIM?

- OVER THERE IN THAT BARN,INTERVIEWING HIM.

I'VE DONE A LOTOF STORIES IN MY LIFE,

AND THIS WAS BY FARTHE WORST THING I'D EVER SEEN.

HIS FACE WAS...

LIKE A PILE OFRAW CHICKEN FAT

WITH BLOODDRIZZLED ON IT...

AND EYES.

[gulps]

- GREG PROVIDED US WITHSOME OF THE RAW FOOTAGE

FROM HISINTERVIEW THAT DAY.

-[electronic voice]WHEN I WOKE UP FROM MY COMA,

I DIDN'T EVEN COMPREHEND

THE EXTENT OFDAMAGE TO MY BODY.

I'VE BEEN SOPUMPED FULL OF DRUGS,

IT WAS LIKEBEING IN A DREAM.

- THREE MINUTESINTO THE INTERVIEW

GREG ALREADY STRUGGLESTO MAINTAIN HIS COMPOSURE.

- AND SO WHEN THEYBROUGHT MY DAUGHTER

IN TO SEE ME, SHE SCREAMEDAT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS.

- [nervous laughter]

- 15 MINUTES IN,GREG MANIPULATES HIS VISION

BY SUDDENLY CROSSING ONE EYESO THAT BROSS' FACE

IS SLIGHTLY BLURRED.

HOW DID YOU MAKE ITTHROUGH TILL THE END?

- I DON'T KNOW.

EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTHIN MY BODY

I USED IT TO NOT RUN AWAY.

- MM-HM.

- THEN I JUST RAN AWAY.

- WOW, THAT'S INCREDIBLE.

- I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES.

- [electronic voice]SHE SCREAMED

AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS.

- THAT'S, UH, NOT WHERE YOUSHOULD PUT OUT YOUR CIGARETTE.

- I DON'T LIKE NIGHTMARES.

- I UNDERSTAND,BUT YOU CAN'T

THROW CIGARETTES AT PEOPLE.

- HEY, MAN, DO YOU HAVE A SECONDTO DISCUSS GAY MARRIAGE?

- NO.- OKAY.

DO YOU HAVE A SECONDTO DISCUSS GAY MARRIAGE?

DO YOU HAVE A SECOND?

- YOU HAVE A SECOND TO DISCUSSTHE ISSUE OF GAY MARRIAGE?

- UH, I'M SORRY,I REALLY DON'T.

- OH, I MEAN,ARE YOU FOR OR AGAINST?

[horns honking]

- OH, ABSOLUTELY FOR.- OH, WE GOT THAT LIGHT.

- I'M SORRY, THANK YOU.- ABSOLUTELY.

- EXCUSE ME, SIR.

- GAY MARRIAGE?I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THAT.

ALL I COULD TELL YOUIS WHEN GOD MADE MAN--

- OH, I'M SORRY, HOLD ON.

HELLO?

HOLD ON ONE SECOND.

HEY...YEAH.

I'M DOING THE INTERVIEW.

UM, IN BROOKLYN.

[chuckles] I KNOW.

WELL, NO,I FELT THE SAME WAY

'CAUSE THAT WAS--WHEN I LEFT LAST NIGHT

THAT WAS--THAT WAS...

VERY AWKWARD.

NO, I MEANI'LL CALL HER,

I JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKEI WANTED TO DEAL WITH IT THERE

BECAUSE TWO OTHERPEOPLE WERE THERE

AND I WAS, LIKE, UM...

- [clears throat]

- YOU KNOW, I FELT IT WOULDHAVE BEEN COMPLETELY AWKWARD

IF I SPOKE TO HER THEN.

WELL THAT'S A POSSIBILITY--- MORE THAN A MOMENT.

- WAS IT? YEAH.OH, YOU HAVE TO GO?

OKAY.- WELL--

- YEAH, GO AHEAD,I'M SORRY.

- OKAY, YEAH.

ALL I CAN SAY IS,GOD MADE MAN--

Loading...