Future Stock

  • Season 3, Ep 21
  • 03/31/2002

A 1980s businessman takes over Planet Express and threatens to sell it to a larger corporation.

This is perfectfor me!

Question: Do you have to havebeen cryogenically frozen

to get the free...?

You didn't let me finish!

I was going to say,"...to get the free food."

My name's Joe,and I'm a defrostee.

GROUP:Hello, Joe.

When I was frozen,giant carrots ruled the Earth.

But now they don't.

It takes some getting used to.

Back in the 1980s, I wasthe toast of Wall Street.

I was having whiskey with Boeskyand cookies with Milken.

But then, I was diagnosedwith terminal bone-itis.

Bone-itis?

Pfft! That's a funny namefor a horrible disease.

There was no cure at the time.

One drug company was close

but I arrangeda hostile takeover

and sold off all the assets.

Made a cool hundred mil!

( cocky laugh )

( coughs )

( group applauds )

Naturally, I froze myselfuntil a cure was found.

And now here I am

ready to sleaze my way backto the top-- '80s style.

( applause )

As a caveman frozen in a glacier

I face different challenges.

The hardest thing was seeingmy wife on display

in the British Museum.

( sympathetic murmurs )

Aw, yeah,I hear you.

Hey, buddy, I'm fromthe same time as you.

Remember that song,"Safety Dance"?

Sure do.

♪ We can dance ♪

( sings "Safety Dance" synthesizer riff )

( hearty chuckle )

You know, that dance wasn'tas safe as they said it was.

I tell you, two go-go '80sReaganauts like us--

we could rule this world.

No question.

If only someonewould give us a shot.

They're scaredof our raw power.

Oh, but if you want a job

I could beg everyoneat the company where I work.

Awesome.

Awesome to the max.

Please welcome our new

Chief Executive Officer...that guy.

Yay! Whoo-hoo!

Let's cut to the chase.

There are two kindsof people:

sheep and sharks.

Anyone who's a sheepis fired.

Who's a sheep?

ZOIDBERG:Uh, excuse me.

Which is the one peoplelike to hug?

Gutsy question.

You're a shark.

Sharks are winnersand they don't look back

'cause they don't have necks.

Necks are for sheep.

I am proud to be the shepherd ofthis herd of sharks

and I am going to lead youto the top

in this industry of, of...

Package delivery.

Package delivery!

Oh, God...

Fantastic!

Now, the first order of business

is to blame everything onthe guy before me.

Professor?

I'll ruin you likeI ruined this company!

Terrific.

Question number one:

What was your overallbusiness plan?

Um, eh, business plan, yes.

I keep it here,right next to my heart.

This isn't a business plan.

It's an escape plan.

So long, suckers!

Fry, as a fellow'80s dollar jockey

I'm making youmy new vice-chairman.

Wa-hoo!

I'm rolling upthe corporate ramp!

( all groaning )

We're ruined!

What fevered dream is this

that bids to tear this companyin twain?

Thank you.

Come again.

That's what I calla hostile makeover.

Hair gel?

No thanks. I make my own.

( squishing noise )

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