Wednesday, October 30, 2013

  • 10/30/2013

The contestants review the Nintendo DS from a gorilla's perspective.

LIKE THEY DID JULIANNA HUFF.

>> I WANT TO GIVE YOU A HASHTAG

AND YOU GIVE ME A TWEET WITH THE

CORRECT HASHTAG YOU'LL GET A

HUNDRED POINTS IN HONOR OF

HALLOWEEN WHICH STARTED MINUTES

AGO.

I DON'T WEAR A WATCH.

THAT'S WHAT MY PHONE DOES.

TONIGHT'S HASHTAG IS BAD

HOLIDAYS, BAD HOLIDAYS.

SO EXAMPLES MIGHT BE WHITE

HISTORY WEEK OR WORLD HERPES DAY

OR TAINT PATRICK'S DAY MIGHT BE

A TERRIBLE HOLIDAY.

PUT ON YOUR GREEN UNDERWEAR.

I'M GOING TO PUT 60 SECONDS ON

THE CLOCK STARTING NOW.

GO, YES.

SCOTT AUKERMAN.

>> FATHER'S GAY.

>> FUN.

MEGAN NEURINGER.

>> HASHTAG SHARK WEEK.

>> FINE, FINE.

YES, SCOTT AUKERMAN.

>> SINK FULL OF MAYO.

>> CANADIAN THANKSGIVING.

>> EVEN THOUGH WE'RE IN CANADA,

SORRY GUYS.

>> THE DAY AFTER LABOR DAY IS

STILLBORN DAY.

IT ACTUALLY IS.

>> AUKERMAN.

>> ERECTION DAY AKA CHINESE

ELECTION DAY.

[LAUGHTER]

>> AM I RACIST.

>> YES, YOU ARE.

>> OKAY.

>> THANK YOU.

>> MEGAN MEURG.

DIAN VALENTINE'S DAY..>> CANA

>> YOU HAD ONE MORE.

>> 2/10 BUT IT'S LIKE 4/20 BUT

>> WHAT CAN YOU ACCOMPLISH.

>> I WANT TO GIVE YOU FOR THAT

SCOTT AUKERMAN.

IT'S TIME FOR OUR NEXT GAME.

REAL DOLL OR GUEST MODEL.

A LOT OF COMPANIES LIKE TO USE

FACEBOOK AS A PROMOTIONAL TOOL.

I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU A PARTIAL

IMAGE OF A SYNDICATELY CLAD --

SCATILY CLAD AND YOU NEED TO

TELL ME IF IT'S FROM THE

FACEBOOK PAGE BECAUSE THE BODIES

ARE ALMOST IDENTICAL IT'S CRAZY.

HERE WE GO.

THE FIRST ONE IN LINGERIE.

REAL DOLLAR OR GUEST MODEL.

YES, MEGAN.

>> REAL DOLL.

>> NO, THAT'S A GITION MODEL.

-THAT'S A GUEST MODEL. -

>> I'M PROBABLY NOT AS EQUIPPED

AS THESE GUYS.

>> REAL DOLLS DON'T NEED TO

RELAX ON THE COUCH.

I KNEW THAT.

>> THEY DO HAVE THE UNFORTUNATE

THRASHING THEY USUALLY GET EVEN

THOUGH REAL DOLLS ARE LIKE I

NEED A MINUTE, PLEASE.

>> AND THOSE DOLL'S LEGS ARE

NEVER TOGETHER.

>> IF I CAN PROVE GUEST MODELS

AREN'T REAL DO WE WIN.

>> YES.

THE NEXT ONE A LOT OF MIDRIFF

SHOWING.

SCOTT AUKERMAN.

>> REAL DOLL.

>> THAT IS A REAL DOLL.

>> NO.

>> IT LOOKS SO DEAD.

>> I WONDER IF THAT CHAIR'S

REAL.

>> IS ANYTHING REAL.

>> NO, MAN, THEY'RE ALL DOLLS.

ALL RIGHT.

SHE'S ONLY LIKE TWO THAT WAS --

TWO INCHES CALL.

>> PERSONALLY I WON'T [BLEEP]

ANYTHING UNDER THREE INCHES.

>> ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS BLACK LINGERIE.

REAL DOLL OR GUEST MODEL.

MEGAN.

>> GUEST MODEL.

>> NO, THAT IS A REAL DOLL.

LOOK AT THAT.

>> SHE COMES WITH HER EYES

CROSSED LIKE THAT.

>> WHAT HAPPENED.

>> IS SHE BEING LIKE DORKABLE.

>> SHE'S A CLEVER AND A

HOUSEWIFE.

>> NEXT SEASON IS THE NEW GIRL.

>> CAN YOU ORDER THEM WITH LAZY

EYES.

>> YES.

YOU CAN PROBABLY MOVE THEIR EYES

AROUND.

IF YOU EVER WANT [BLEEP]

PROFESSOR THAT WOULD BE THE WAY

OF DOING THAT.

>> BLEEP STUPID.

[LAUGHTER]

>> OKAY, LAST ONE.

REAL DOLL OR GUEST MODEL?

YES, NEURINGER.

>> THOSE ARE CLEARLY REAL DOLLS.

>> YES, THAT IS A REAL DOLL.

>> ALL OF THEM?

>> YES, ALL OF THEM.

THEY'RE ALL REAL DOLLS.

>> NOT ALL OF THEM.

>> A PILE OF THEM.

>> I JUST CAN TELL BECAUSE THEY

DON'T HAVE ANY LINE BIKINI LINE

RASH.

>> A WOMAN THAT KNOWS WHAT TO

LOOK FOR.

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GOOD AT

SNIFFING THESE OUT.

THAT'S A BAD WAY TO SAY THAT.

>> YES.

>> I WON'T GIVE YOU ANY POINTS

IMPORTANT THAT.

>> COME ON, MAN.

>> BEFORE THE BREAK I SHOWED A

PICTURE OF A GRILL YEAH PLAYING

A NINTENDO.

I ASKED YOU TO WRITE THE

GORILLA'S REVIEW OF THE NINTENDO

GAMING SYSTEM.

WHAT DID YOU SAY MATT BESSER.

>> I SAID TWO OPPOSABLE THUMPS

UP COULD NOT GET BANANA AFTER

WORK.

[LAUGHTER]

>> DID YOU ADD THE EXTRA BECAUSE

OF THE GORILLA.

>> YES, THAT'S WHAT I DID.

IT'S GOT TO BE FUNNY.

[LAUGHTER]

>> YOU WERE RIGHT.

>> YEAH, RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

>> WHAT DID YOU SAY?

>> VERY DISAPPOINTED IN HOW THE

GAME DONKEY KONG IS.

I THINK -- GOT ALL THE WAY TO

THE END.

BUT HE DIDN'T LIKE IT.

>> MEGAN NEURINGER.

>> ME LIKE MADE ME FORGET I

>> ALL RIGHT.

WE JUMP TO OUR NEXT DAY.

GOT CONFESSION.

IN THE HONOR OF HALLOWEEN.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I AM DRESSED LIKE A DOUCHEBAG

VERSION OF MYSELF.

WE'RE GOING TO CELEBRATE PEOPLE

WHO PLAY DRESS UP EVERY DAY OF

THE YEAR KEEPING IT ALIVE.

I WANT TO SHOW YOU GUYS THE

YOUTUBE VIDEO FROM A YOUNG GUY

MAKING A CONFESSION AND GIVING

YOU TWO CHOICES.

FOR TO POINTS YOU TELL ME WHAT

THEY'RE CONFESSING.

A OR B CHOICE.

THE FIRST ONE, WHAT IS THIS GAL

CONFESSING.

IS SHE CONFESSING I LOVED MY

LITTLE MOANY OR I NEVER

MISSED -- MEGAN.

>> I LOVE MY PONY.

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

>> IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MY LITTLE

MOANY, I THINK YOU MIGHT WATCH

IT ON THE HUB OR SOMETHING.

AND FOR SOME REASON IT'S SUCH A

GOOD SHOW.

>> YES, YOU'RE RIGHT.

A 250 MEGAN.

>> HER WHOLE LIFE IS IN BLACK

AND WHITE, THAT'S AWESOME.

>> THAT'S HOW PONY'S SEE.

>> I NEVER LISTEN TO A SONG OR I

LIKE KETCHUP.

SCOTT AUKERMAN.

>> SHE LOVES KETCHUP.

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

>> I LOVE KEVIN UP.

-- KETCHUP.

>>

[LAUGHTER]

>> MY FAVOR THING IS MY BACKPACK

WHICK GARFIELD OR MY FAVORITE

THING IS MY FANNIE PACK WHICH IS

MARL DO.

>> I'M GOING TO SAY GUARD FIELD

BECAUSE SHE HAS GARFIELD COLORED

HAIR GOING THERE.

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

>> MY BACKPACK WHICH IS

GARFIELD.

>> GARFIELD.

>> I'M SORRY.

>> GARFIELD.

>> I THINK HER FAVORITE THING IS

SHAVING HER EYEBROWS AND THEN

DRAWING THAT --

>> SHE KEEPS HER EYEBROWS INTO

GARFIELD.

SHE HAS A FANNIE PACK SHAPED

LIKE A LAW SAWING KNOW AND THEY

DO NOT GET ALONG.

IS THAT A THING DRAWN ON HER.

>> THAT'S CHAINS WHICH ARE VERY

DANGEROUS BECAUSE YOU JUST WANT

[LAUGHTER]

>> IT'S TIME FOR THE FINAL SPEED

GAME.

ONE OF REDDIT'S POPULAR FEATURES

IS ASK ME ANYTHING WITH COLLECT

TEASE AND/OR OTHER INTERESTING

PEOPLE OR FROM THE REDDIT

COMMUNITY.

OUR VERSION IS SIMILAR ALTHOUGH

FOR EACH FUNNY QUESTION YOU ASK

YOU GET 250 POINTS BUT TODAY A

RESTAURANT IN PHILLY UNVEILED A

NEW TWINKIE BURGER WELCOME TO

YOUR HEART ATTACK.

JUST IN CASE YOU GUYS ARE

WONDERING WHAT THAT IS, THAT'S A

PORK BELLY PATHY BETWEEN A

TWINKIE BUN CHOPPED WITH CHEESE

AND FOR GOOD MEASURE TOPPED WITH

EXTRA BACON.

THE THING WITH TWINKIES IS

THEY'RE NOT SAVORY SO.

COMEDIANS, I'M THE NEW DEEP

FRIED TWINKIE BURGER.

ASK ME ANYTHING.

60 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK AND GO.

YES MATT BESSER.

>> IS THAT BACON STRIP YOUR

TONGUE OR YOUR DICK.

>> A FAIR QUESTION.

YES, SCOTT AUKERMAN.

>>AN I GET YOU AS A LETTUCE

WRAP.

>> MEGAN.

>> WILL YOU CAUSE EXPLOSIVE OR

JUST GOOD OLD FASHION DIARRHEA.

>> THAT'S IT.

>> IS THAT A PHOTO OF YOU BEFORE

YOU EAT IT OR AFTER I VOMIT YOU.

>> MEGAN.

>> WHAT KIND OF DIABETES WILL I

GET FROM YOU.

>> THAT'S A FAIR ENOUGH

QUESTION.

YES.

>> DID YOU EMERGE FROM PAULA

DEAN'S [BLEEP]

[LAUGHTER]

>> I THINK THE CORRECT ANSWER IS

YES.

YES, SCOTT AUKERMAN.

>> THERE'S PROBABLY SOMEONE

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