February 20, 2014 - Stanley McChrystal

  • 02/20/2014

Bill O'Reilly accuses Stephen of mockery, Bode Miller discusses his Olympic win, Buddy Cole goes undercover in Sochi, and Stanley McChrystal talks "My Share of the Task."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN.

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SOMUCH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

I JUST CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOUWHAT THAT MEANS TONIGHT.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'VE GOTTO THANK YOU FOR THAT OUTPOURING

OF AFFECTION.

YOU KNOW I AM NOTHING WITHOUTYOUR SUPPORT.

BUT I NEED IT NOW MORE THAN EVERBECAUSE THERE HAS BEEN A HUGE

MISUNDERSTANDING BETWEEN ME ANDMY BROADCAST LIFE PARTNER BILL

O'REILLY.

( LAUGHTER )LAST WEEK I TOLD YOU PAPA BEAR

IS AUCTIONING OFF THE NOTES FROMHIS HISTORIC SUPER BOWL

INTERVIEW WITH PRESIDENT OBAMAFOR THE VETERANS CHARITY FISHER

HOUSE.

JUST LOOK AT THOSE INTERVIEWNOTES.

NO OTHER FOX NEWS HOST DOES THATKIND OF PREP WORK.

SEAN HANNITY USES THE SAME NOTESFOR EVERY SHOW, HANITTY SMASH.

AND IT IS NO SECRET I IDOLIZEBILL SO I WAS INSPIRED TO

AUCTION OFF MY OWN PIECE OFO'REILLY-BILLIA.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT HERE ISTHE ACTUAL MICROWAVE OVEN I

STOLE FROM BILL O'REILLY'SGREEN ROOM, OKAY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

ALL PROCEEDS OF THE MICROWAVEGO TO BENEFIT THE YELLOW RIBBON

FUND THAT HELPS SERVICE MEMBERSAND THEIR FAMILIES AND IT'S

FITTING, FOLKS.

THIS MICROWAVE IS JUST LIKE BILLO'REILLY-- IT'S A LITTLE OLD, A

LITTLE SQUARE, AND DOES NOT CAREWHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

NOW, SADLY, SADLY-- NOW, SADLY,BILL DID NOT SEE THIS AS AN

HOMAGE, BECAUSE RECENTLY PAPABEAR TOOK A SWIPE AT ME.

>> COLBERT, FRESH FROM HIS VISITTO THE WHITE HOUSE TO HONOR THE

FRENCH PRESIDENT IS MOCKING MYCHARITABLE EFFORTS TO THE FISHER

HOUSE.

DUBIOUS?

MIGHT BE.

TIP OF THE DAY, FISHER HOUSE ISA WORTHY CHARITY AND COLBERT

IS-- NOT GOING TO SAY IT.

>> Stephen: GREATHUMANITARIAN?

STUD MUFFIN?

THE WIND BENEATH YOUR WINGS?

STOP ME WHEN I GET IT RIGHT.

BUT BILL, IF YOU'RE WATCHING,YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU REALLY

HURT ME.

AND IF YOU'RE NOT WATCHING, THATHURTS ME EVEN MORE.

I WASN'T MOCKING YOU.

I WAS CELEBRATING YOU.

JUST TAKING SOME OF THE WEIGHTOFF YOUR SHOULDERS.

WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BEYOU TALKING ABOUT HOW GREAT YOU

ARE?

FURTHERMORE, I WAS PROMOTINGYOUR AUCTION. AND, APPARENTLY,

IT WORKED BECAUSE AFTER IMENTIONED IT, THE BIDS FOR

BILL'S INTERVIEW NOTESSKYROCKETED TO $999,999,999, AND

THEN DROPPED DOWN TO $30.

APPARENTLY, BILL MADE THE ROOKIEMUSTAKE OF NOT GETTING VERIFIED

BIDS.

GOTTA DO IT, BILL.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW THAT"THEBONERANGER" MIGHT NOT BE A

SERIOUS BIDDER.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )BILL, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,

YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

MEANWHILE, THE BIDDING ON MYMICROWAVE SHOT UP TO $98,000,

BEFORE DROPPING BACK TO $3,100.

SEE, WHAT HAPPENED IS THAT THE$98,000 WAS NOT A VERIFIED BID.

HEY, HONEST MISTAKE.

COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE.

BUT IT'S WORTH THAT MUCH.

A LOT OF HISTORY IN THISAPPLIANCE.

I USED IT TO MELT AN AL FRANKENACTION FIGURE, STERILIZE MY

BOXER SHORTS, AND BOMBARDSTYROFOAM CUPS WITH ENOUGH

RADIATION TO SPAWN A GIANTMUTANT CUP, WHICH I KEPT AT BAY

WITH A MASSIVE PACKET OFARTIFICIAL SWEETENER.

THAT'S JUST WHAT WE DO AT THEREPORT.

HARD NEWS.

SO GO TO COLBERT NATION AND BIDON THE MICROWAVE.

AUCTION ENDS THIS SATURDAY.

AGAIN, ALL PROCEEDS GOING TO THEYELLOW RIBBON FUND.

YOU COULD BE THE OWNER OF THISMICROWAVE SIGNED BY ME AND BILL

O'REILLY.

PLEASE, BILL, SIGN MY MICROWAVE.

( LAUGHTER )OTHERWISE, YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK

LIKE A REAL--NOT GOING TO SAY IT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

DREAM WEAVER.

NATION--( LAUGHTER )

WE ARE ENTERING THE FINAL DAYSOF THE WINTER OLYMPICS IN SOCHI,

RUSSIA.

AND IT HAS BEEN MAGICAL.

WE'VE LAUGHED, WE'VE CRIED.

WE LEARNED FINLAND AND DENMARKARE TWO DIFFERENT PLACES.

( LAUGHTER )NOW, I WARNED YOU THE GAMES

COULD BE RUINED BY HOMOSEXUALSPROTESTING RUSSIA'S ANTI-GAY

LAWS.

SO I SENT MY OLD FRIEND ANDPRODUCER, BUDDY COLE, TO SOCHI

WELCOME MY PRODUCER, BUDDY COLE.

WELCOME, BUDDY!

GREAT REPORTS THIS WEEK, BUDDY.

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO ON YOUR LASTNIGHT IN SOCHI?

>> WELL, STEPHEN, I'M HOPING TOMEET MY HERO, TEAM U.S.A.'S

SKIING LEGEND, BODE MILLER.

>> Stephen: THAT WOULD BENICE BUT I'M NOT SURE THAT WILL

BE POSSIBLE, BUDDY.

>> WHY NOT.

>> Stephen: BECAUSE HE'S HEREWITH US IN THE STUDIO.

BODE MILLER, EVERYBODY!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )BODE, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

HAVE A SEAT.

BODE MILLER!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )BODE, LISTEN, MAN--

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )THANK YOU.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

BODE, YOU'RE A 33-TIME WORLD CUPWINNER.

YOU'VE BEEN IN FIVE DIFFERENTOLYMPICS.

YOU'VE WON GOLD, YOU'VE WONSILVER, YOU'VE WON BRONZE RIGHT

HERE.

OKAY.

IS THIS GOING TO BE YOUR LASTOLYMPICS?

>> YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, I BROUGHT HOME THEBRONZE IN MY WIFE'S FAVORITE

EVENT SO I THINK MAYBE THIS WILLBE THE TIME TO HANG IT UP.

IF I CAN GO FOR ANOTHER ONE, IFMY BODY HOLDS UP --

>> Stephen: AT THE VERY LEASTGO FOR THE CURLING TEAM.

>> I'LL HAVE TO CHANGE IT UPON ALITTLE.

>> Stephen: YOU DON'T HAVE TOGO AS FAST DOWN THE ICE AND THAT

SPORT COMES WITH A BAR.

YOU GREW UP IN A CABIN IN NEWHAMPSHIRE WITH NO RUNNING WATER

AND NO ELECTRICITY.

IS THAT A TRUE STORY OR DID NBCMAKE THAT UP FOR YOUR MONTAGE?

( LAUGHTER )>> I GREW UP ON 57th STREET.

>> Stephen: HERE?

THAT'S NICE.

ALL RIGHT.

( LAUGHTER )YOU'RE THE OLDEST ATHLETE TO

EVER MEDAL IN ALPINE SKIING.

HOLD ARE YOU, 78, 79?

>> I TURN 50 IN 15 YEARS.

( LAUGHTER )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: NOW THAT SEEMSREALLY-- THAT SEEMS REALLY

YOUNG.

DO YOU FEEL OLD ON THE SLOPES?

>> YOU KNOW, IT'S WEIRD,SOMETIMES YOU DO.

I FELT OLD AT THE BOTTOM OF ALOT OF THOSE RACES.

AT THE TOP I FEEL LIKE A KID ANDI'M ALL JITTERY AND EXCITED AND

WHEN I GET TO THE BOTTOM AND HADIT WAS PRETTY QUIET DURING A

COUPLE OF MY RACES AND YOU CAMETO THE FINISH UP AND LOOK UP AND

FEEL PRETTY OLD SOMETIMES.

>> Stephen: SHOULD THIS BEYOUR LAST OLYMPICS?

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD EVERGOING TO THE MOUNTAIN AND SWING

SLOWLY, AND HAVE A HOT COCOA?

COULD YOU EVER SKI LIKE THAT?

>> YEAH, I THINK IT IS GOOD TOMIX IT UP.

BUT I HAVE THE THRILL SEEKER.

ONCE YOU'VE GOTTEN GOOD ATSOMETHING LIKE THIS, YEAH, YOU

DO WANT TO TEST YOURSELF.

I THINK THAT'S WHY I'M STILLGOING, I THINK.

I DON'T A LOT TO PROVE I DON'TTHINK IN RACING EXCEPT IT'S THE

ONLY CHANCE I GET TO GO AS FASTAS I CAN.

A COUPLE OF TIMES I GOT TO THEBOTTOM AND MY WIFE WAS WAITING

FOR ME AT THE FINISH AND IHAVEN'T FELT LIKE THAT IN 10

YEARS.

I WAS GIDDY.

I HAD SO MUCH FUN.

IT WAS LIKE, "THAT WAS SO FUN!"WITH SOME OTHER WORDS MIXED IN

THERE.

( LAUGHTER )AND IT WAS SO AWESOME.

AND THAT'S WHY I KEEP DOING IT.

I LOVE BRONZE MEDALS BUT FOR MEIT'S THE TOP.

>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STOPPINGBY.

BODE MILLER, EVERYBODY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

THANKS SO MUCH.

BODE MILLER!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHTIS A RETIRED FOUR-STAR GENERAL

WHO SERVED IN OPERATIONS DESERTSTORM, DESERT SHIELD, ENDURING

FREEDOM, AND IRAQI FREEDOM.

IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITHDESERTS OR FREEDOM, HE'S YOUR

MAN.

PLEASE WELCOME GENERAL STANLEYMcCHRYSTAL.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )THANKS FOR COMING ON.

ALL RIGHT, SIR, YOU ARE ARETIRED FOUR-STAR GENERAL IN THE

U.S. ARMY, COMMANDER OF U.S. ANDINTERNATIONAL SECURITY SYSTEM

FORCES IN AFGHANISTAN, COMMANDEROF THE JOINT SPECIAL OPERATIONS

COMMAND, OR JSOC, AND YOU HAVE ANEW BOOK HERE CALLED "MY SHARE

OF THE TASK."

ALL RIGHT, FIRST OF ALL, BEFOREWE GET STARTED, YOU'RE MY THIRD

FOUR-STAR GENERAL.

PETRAEUS, ODIERNO, AND YOU,MAKES ME A 12-STAR HOST SO DON'T

TRY TO PULL RANK ON ME, ALLRIGHT?

DON'T TRY TO PULL RANK.

I DID NOT DO MY SHARE OF THEREADING, SO TELL ME ABOUT "MY

SHARE OF THE TASK."

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY INTHIS BOOK.

IT'S ABOUT PERSONALRESPONSIBILITY?

>> IT IS.

IT'S ABOUT BEING PART OF A TEAMBUT ACCEPTING YOUR PART OF THE

RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT BECAUSEULTIMATELY, YOU HAVE A

RESPONSIBILITY TO OTHER PEOPLE,THE PEOPLE WHO YOU WORK FOR AND

WHO YOU STAND NEXT TO.

>> Stephen: YOU COMMANDEDJSOC.

YOU ARE THE GUIDE THAT TURNEDJSOC-- THE JOINT SPECIAL

OPERATIONS COMMAND-- INTO A REALJAVELIN AGAINST AL QAEDA AND OUR

ENEMIES IN AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ.

YOU GUYS TOOK OUT ZARQAWI.

EXPLAIN WHAT JSOC DOES.

>> IT BRINGS TOGETHER AMERICA'SMOST ELITE FORCES AND IT IT IS

USED FOR THE MOST PRECISEMISSIONS -- HIJACK, THE MISSION

AGAINST OSAMA BIN LADEN.

>> Stephen: SALE TEAM 6,DELTA GUYS.

>> ALL OF THOSE FORCES.

AND THEY'RE BROUGHT TOGETHER SOYOU CAN PUT ALL THESE

CAPABILITIES TOGETHER IN VERY,VERY DIFFICULT MISSIONS.

>> Stephen: YOU RETIRED AFTERIT WAS NOTED IN "ROLLING STONE"

MAGAZINE THAT YOU CRITICIZED THECHAIN OF COMMAND, INCLUDING THE

PRESIDENT.

WAS THAT THE CASE OF OBAMALOSING ANOTHER AMERICAN'S JOB,

IN THIS CASE YOURS?

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RETIRE?

>> THERE WAS AN ARTICLE THATCAME OUT THAT PUT PRESIDENT

OBAMA, MY COMMANDER IN CHIEF, INA DIFFICULT POSITION, AND THAT'S

NOT WHAT A COMMANDER IS SUPPOSEDTO DO WHEN HE WORKS FOR A

COMMANDER IN CHIEF.

SO WHAT I DID WAS, I OFFERED MYRESIGNATION TO THE PRESIDENT,

AND HE ACCEPTED IT, AND I THINKTHAT I DID THE RIGHT THING

BECAUSE WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THATHAPPENS, THE MOST IMPORTANT

THING IS THE MISSION AND THEPEOPLE THAT WORK FOR YOU.

>> Stephen: THE INSPECTORGENERAL OF THE PENTAGON FOUND

YOU HAD NOT BEEN INSUBORDINATE.

WHY DID YOU RETIRE ANYWAY?

DO YOU WANT TO CALL BACKSIES ONTHAT ONE?

( LAUGHTER ).

>> THAT WAS ACTUAL SEVERALMONTHS LATER BEFORE IT CAME OUT,

BUT THE MEDIA PSYCHE CELL YOUFIRST HAVE A FRENZY AT FIRST,

AND THEN SOME MONTHS LATERTHERE'S MUCH MORE ACCURACY.

PEOPLE HAVE TIME TO THINK ANDSTUDY AND THEY FOUND OUT WHAT

HAD BEEN IN THE ARTICLE WASN'TENTIRELY ACCURATE.

>> Stephen: WHY TALK TO"ROLLING STONE" THOUGH?

WHY-- WHY NOT SOMETHING NOT"ROLLING STONE?"

( LAUGHTER ).

>> IF I COULD HAVE A DO-OVER, IMIGHT GO-- I MIGHT RECONSIDER

THAT.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

AFGHANISTAN-- WHAT?

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

AND WHEN?

AND WHEN?

AND FOR THAT MATTER WHY?

AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, WHERE?

WE'VE BEEN THERE FOR 12 YEARS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK NEEDS TOHAPPEN THERE?

OR CAN WE WIN THAT WAR OR WILLWE JUST REDEFINE WHAT WINNING

MEANS?

>> WE CERTAINLY WON'T WIN.

THE AFGHAN PEOPLE ARE THE ONLYPEOPLE THAT CAN WIN THAT WAR.

BUT WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THATAFGHANISTAN HAS BEEN IN TURMOIL,

ESSENTIALLY IN COMBAT SINCE1979.

AND SO, WE'VE HAD TWOGENERATIONS OF AFGHANS WHO KNOW

NOTHING BUT CHAOS.

SINCE 9/11, 2001, WHEN WEENTERED THAT FALL, THERE'S BEEN

AN EFFORT ON THE PART OF THEWEST, LED BY THE UNITED STATES

PRIMARILY, TO GIVE THE AFGHANPEOPLE A CHANCE TO MOVE FORWARD.

NOW, THEY'VE MADE A LOT OFPROGRESS IN THE LAST 12 YEARS,

KIDS IN SCHOOL.

THEY'VE HAD A GENERATION GROWAND HAD 14 MILLION AFGHAN

FEMALES WITH NEW OPPORTUNITIES.

THERE ARE MORE AFGHAN FEMALES INAFGHANISTAN'S PARLIAMENT THAN

THERE ARE AMERICAN FEMALES INTHE AMERICAN CONGRESS.

AND SO, THERE HAS BEEN PROGRESS,AND I DON'T THINK THEY WANT TO

COME BACK.

I DON'T THINK THEY HAVE ANYINTEREST IN THE TALIBAN COMING

BACK INTO ANY KIND OF CONTROL.

>> Stephen: YOU THINK WESHOULD BRING THE DRAFT BACK.

>> I DO.

>> Stephen: AND AS SOMEONETOO OLD TO BE DRAFTED, I AGREE

WITH YOU.

( LAUGHTER )WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD DO

FOR US AS A NATION?

>> WHAT I REALLY BELIEVE IN ISTHAT SERVICE CHANGES YOU.

I THINK SERVICE MADE ME BETTERTHAN I WOULD HAVE BEEN

OTHERWISE.

I THINK EVERY YOUNG AMERICANSHOULD HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO DO

SERVICE FOR THE NATION, NOTNECESSARILY MILITARY.

MAYBE IN HEALTH CARE.

MAYBE IN EDUCATION.

AND I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD GETTHE CHANCE TO SPEND A YEAR AT

PAID, NATIONAL SERVICE.

I THINK IT WOULD CHANGE HOW THEYFEEL ABOUT CITIZENSHIP.

I THINK IT WOULD CHANGE HOW WEFEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER.

I THINK PEOPLE FROM CONNECTICUTWOULD GET TO KNOW PEOPLE FROM

EAST L.A.

I THINK WE'D CERTAINLY START TOMEND SOME OF THE DIVISIONS IN

OUR SOCIETY.

>> Stephen: WITHOUT THEDRAFT, HOW WOULD FORREST GUMP

HAVE MET BUBA?

( LAUGHTER )WE WOULDN'T HAVE THAT DELICIOUS

SHRIMP COMPANY IN TIMES SQUARE.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

WELL, GENERAL, THANK YOU SO MUCHFOR JOINING ME.

GENERAL STANLEY McCHRYSTAL.

THE BOOK IS "MY SHARE OF THETASK."

>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR THEREPORT, EVERYBODY.

BEFORE WE GO, GENERALMcCHRYSTAL, WOULD YOU PLEASE

SIGN MY MICROWAVE FOR THE YELLOWRIBBON FUND?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )YOU'RE NEXT, BILL.

GOOD NIGHT.