The Wedding of Rad (Lie)

  • Season 1, Ep 10
  • 12/10/2015

When Dazzle becomes one half of Moonbeam City's hottest couple, Rad counters with a sham romance that quickly spirals out of his control.

Chief Miller, what isthe name of the officer

that took Segatore down?

Obviously, we're keeping thatinformation secret,

- so as to not--- I'll take it from here!

The name's Rad.

Do I scare you?Good!

'Cause I got a thirstfor mob blood,

and I always want seconds!

So better sayyour prayer-inos, 'cause--

So you're the dirty pigwho killed my dad!

No, no, no, no!It wasn't me!

It was Dazzle Novak!

He killed your dad andforced me to brag about it!

[crying]Oh God, he's a monster!

I always vowed that if anybodykilled my father,

I'd make sweet,sweet love to them.

[crowd gasps][camera shutters click]

Oh yeah, you dirty pig!

Oh, make my daddyroll in his grave!

Oh, he's rolling now.

- Wait, I'm the dirty pig!- Oh...

Save some public sex for me!Oh!

(Genesis)Everyone's talking about

Moonbeam City's horniestnew super couple,

Debulazz.

With a passion fueledby hot, steamy dad-hate,

they've been powerspoodgingcharity events,

supermarkets,and red carpets citywide.

They join me in studio tonight.

Debulazz--oh, whoa![laughs]

They're doing it!Oh, my glasses.

You're getting my--it's okay, though!

No, no, no!Keep it on them!

Keep it on them!Screw standards and practices!

Zoom in on their butts!

(Nebula)They said it wastheir highest ratings

since the live suicideof Mayor Pendragon.

The doggy stylein particular

seemed to resonatewith younger viewers.

(Rad)I, for one,

found it disgusting.

Boo-hoo, Rad.You're just jealous of me

and my exotic new humpbuddy.

No, I just prefernot to kiss and tell...

About my hot new girlfriend

who gets naked at meall the time.

[all murmuring]

Uh huh.She just moved into my mansion

in Diamond Crest Estates,

and the Jacuzzi has never beenmore filthy.

[pleased exclamations]

Say, Rad, do you have anypictures of her?

Uh, I had some,

but the guy at the Fotomatstole them, to masturbate to.

That is too bad.Without any proof,

people might start suspectingthat she doesn't exist.

- Yeah.- And that you don't even live

in Diamond Crest Estates.

- Yeah.- And that everything about you

is just a lie!

- Yeah!- Uh, well, guess what?

She's visiting the officethis week!

She never misses a chanceto prove that she exists!

Great, I can't waitto meet her.

Hope you like egg, 'cause yourface is gonna be covered in it.

Bring a whole carton.

Oh, I willCage-free!

- Make them jumbo.- Oh, no problem!

I'm a veryversatile egg chef.

♪ Bride, bride, bibbity bride

♪ I'm gonna wed this bride

♪ Tonight

♪ Bride, bride, bibbity bride

♪ I'm gonna wed this bride

♪ Tonight, yeah

And now by the powerinvested in me

as Moonbeam CityChief of Police,

I pronounce youhusband and wife.

You must kiss the bride.

[gulps]Okay.

Let's make a kiss, then.

[smooches]

Uh--ne--mm.

(Rad)Uhh.

Oh, come on, Rad.Kiss your bride.

Come on,kiss her.

None of us can leaveuntil you kiss her.

- Mm...- Kiss her.

(all)Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her...

What's wrong with you, man?Kiss your sister.

Stop!This wedding is a sham.

[all gasping]

Talc is Rad's sister.

[all gasping]

Ugh![crashes]

What?Why didn't you tell me

you were my sister, Talc?

I rescind my song.

Do not wed this bride bridebibbity bride.

Wait, the liesdon't stop there.

(man)They don't?

[all gasping]

Last night, Quench saidRad had just one big toe.

Well, I looked up all recordedcases of Canadian monotoe-ism,

and I have found only two:

actor Zinc Moranis,

and this boy.

Who's that?

(Chrysalis)He was the only sonof the Mannings,

the billionaire founders ofFlamingo Computers.

Despite his freakish foot,the Mannings loved him.

He had everything he could havewanted--a play room

full of toys, a miniwave techchild's yacht.

Until one day,

he was kidnapped.

[all gasping]

(Chrysalis)That was you, Rad.

You're Gregory Manning.

(Chrysalis)These people stole you,and now they're trying

to rip us all off!

I'm Gregory Manning?

You lied to me?

I should have been really richand happy all along?

Aw, cram it,you cry baby.

God damn it,you red-headed bitch!

You ruined my daughter'swedding!

Time to catch the lead bouquet!

Blam-o!

Ow!

Mom!

Jesus, Rad's momjust shot Chrysalis.

Talc, keep those copson the ground.

Your pop and Iare gonna grab the gifts.

Quench, stuff the cashin the toaster!

[gunfire]

Aah!

Chrysalis, are you okay?

Yep--yeah, she onlygot my shoulder.

Now go--go stopyour parents.

[gunfire]

Oh, no, she's got a gun!

You're police officers.You all have guns!

Right.

[gunfire]

That's it.

Time to wake the snake.

[heroic techno music]

Ow, you whipped my eye out,you bitch.

[gunshot][glass breaking]

The cops broke the cease fire.

God damn it.I knew this would happen!

[gunfire]

[glass breaking]

They're revolving away.

Should we keep shooting?

No, we got to wait for itto go around again.

[clock ticking]

Okay, here they come--let's go,let's go, let's go, let's go!

[gunfire]

[techno music]

[clock ticking]

[gunfire]

[clock ticking]

[gunfire]

Oh, this is driving me crazy.Let's just go over there!

[dings]

[shouting]

[gunfire]

Whoa.

If it isn't the copwho killed my dad

and [bleep] my sister.

[gunfire]

- Aah![car horn honks]

[laughs]

I'm gonna shoot your littlepig fingers off one by one.

[gunshots]- Losing...

my...grisp.

Dazzle, play along with me.

Boogie Woogie.Eight to the bar.

One, two, three, four!

[upbeat piano music]

[gunshots]

Ugh!

[gunshots and piano music]

The boogie woogie makehis fingers move too fast.

[gunshots and piano music]

Oh!Ha!

Whoo!Yeah!

- Hey, Neongelo.- What?

Eat snake belt.

Whoa!

Ow!You shot me in the shoulder!