October 7, 2014 - Leon Wieseltier

  • 10/07/2014

CNN compares Ebola to ISIS, Rep. Tammy Duckworth talks about Illinois's 8th district, and The New Republic's Leon Wieseltier discusses "Insurrections of the Mind."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN")

>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN!

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT"!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOININGUS! PLEASE, SIT DOWN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANKS FOR BEING HERE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

A LOT TO GET DONE.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WATCHING THISSHOW ON A MEMORY CUBE, THOUSANDS

OF YEARS IN THE FUTURE, I WANTTO OFFER YOU A HARDY BLEEP BLORP

FOR JOINING US.

(LAUGHTER)FOR THOSE OF YOU SHARING THE

PRESENT CHRONOSPHERE, IT'S DAYSEVEN OF THE GLOBAL PANDEMIC

THAT SOME ARE CALL"EBOLAPALOOZA."

(LAUGHTER)NOT MANY.

JUST ME SO FAR.

BUT IT'S GOING TO CATCH ON.

YOU CAN SMELL THE FEAR, THANKSTO HEROES LIKE CNN WHO ASKED THE

QUESTION, "EBOLA: THE I.S.I.S.

OF BIOLOGICAL AGENTS?"YES, IT IS.

WITHOUT A DOUBT.

SCIENTISTS HAVE LONG COMPAREDDISEASES TO MURDEROUS MADMEN.

THAT'S WHY EPIDEMIOLOGISTS CALLTUBERCULOSIS LUNG HITLER.

(LAUGHTER)ONE PERSON WHO IS IRRESPONSIBLY

CALM IS PRESIDENT BARACK EBOLA.

JUST LISTEN TO HOW THEADMINISTRATION PLANS TO WARD OFF

THE RAGE VIRUS.

>> THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION ISTAKING NEW ACTION TO PREVENT THE

SPREAD OF EBOLA.

PRESIDENT OBAMA SAID MONDAY THATAIRLINE PASSENGERS TRAVELING

FROM THE EBOLA HOT ZONE WILLSOON UNDERGO ADDITIONAL

SCREENING AT BOTH ENDS OF THEIRJOURNEYS.

>> STEPHEN: WELL, I'M GLADTHEY'RE CHECKING AT BOTH ENDS

BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE EBOLASQUIRTS OUT.

(LAUGHTER)BUT I'M SORRY...

(APPLAUSE)BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR BODILY

FLUIDS TONIGHT!

THIS IS A HOT CROWD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THEY'RE NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY

ENOUGH BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT TAKINGIT SERIOUSLY ENOUGH.

THE LATEST POLLS SHOW ONLY 11%OF AMERICANS ARE "VERY WORRIED"

ABOUT BEING INFECTED BY EBOLA.

AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT BECAUSEI'VE DONE MY PART TO MAKE YOU

SHART.

AND I WANNA KNOW HOW I'M DOING.

GO TO COLBERTNATION.COM TONIGHTAND TAKE MY POLL:

THE COLBERT WORRIED POLL -- HOWWORRIED ARE YOU ABOUT THE

UNSTOPPABLE VIRUS THAT'S JUSTSECONDS AWAY FROM INFECTING

EVERYONE YOU LOVE?

SOMEWHAT?

VERY?

OR HAZMAT BUBBLE PREVENTS MEFROM CLICKING ON ANSWER?

(LAUGHTER)WE'LL CALCULATE THE RESULTS AND

MAKE THEM AVAILABLE TOMORROW FORTHE GANGS OF FERAL BANDITS

SEARCHING THROUGH CHARREDWAL-MARTS FOR CLUES AS TO WHAT

ENDED HUMANITY.

MM-MM-MM. OH HI, I WAS JUSTABOUT TO ENJOY A BIG MAC

HAMBURGER SANDWICH FROMAMERICA'S FAVORITE HAMBURGER

SANDWICH RESTAURANT,MCDONALD'S.

THE FAST FOOD CHAIN WASFOUNDED IN 1955 BY RAY KROC.

WHO BECAME SO RICH AND FAMOUSTHAT HE HAD TO SPEND

THE REST OF HIS LIFE HIDING IN APURPLE SUIT.

(LAUGHTER)AND RAY KROC'S VERY

"FIRST" MCDONALD'S WAS LOCATEDIN DES PLAINES, WHICH IS IN THE

SUBJECT OF THE80TH INSTALLMENT OF MY

434-PART SERIES, "BETTER KNOW ADISTRICT.

"TONIGHT, ILLINOIS 8TH.

THE FIGHTIN' 8TH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THE 8TH IS HOME TO THE WORLD

HEADQUARTERS OF MOTOROLA.

IN 1983, THEY RELEASED THEWORLD'S FIRST CONSUMER CELLULAR

PHONE, THE DYNA-TAC , WHICHQUICKLY BECAME MORE POPULAR THAN

THE PHONE BOOTH, DESPITE BEINGSLIGHTLY LARGER THAN ONE.

(LAUGHTER)THE 8TH IS ALSO HOME TO NOT ONE

BY TWO IKEAS.

THE SCHAUMBURG IKEA AND THEBOLLINGBROOK IKEA.

THEY WERE ONLY GOING TO BUILDONE IKEA, BUT AFTER THEY

FINISHED THE FIRST ONE, THEY HADENOUGH PARTS LEFT OVER TO BUILD

A SECOND.

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

FAMOUS RESIDENTS OF THE8TH INCLUDE HAROLD GRAY,

CARTOONIST AND CREATOR OF THECOMIC STRIP "LITTLE ORPHAN

ANNIE."

THE STORY OF A RED-HEADED SCAMPWHO WAS SO POOR SHE HAD TO SELL

HER PUPILS FOR FOOD.

AND WHO HAS THE MCNUGGETS TOREPRESENT THIS DISTRICT?

IT'S NONE OTHER THANCONGRESSWOMAN TAMMY DUCKWORTH.

I SAT DOWN WITH REPRESENTATIVEDUCKWORTH IN HER WASHINGTON

OFFICE.

CONGRESSWOMAN, THANK YOU FORTALKING WITH ME TODAY.

>> GOOD TO BE WITH YOU, STEPHEN.

>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU SO MUCHFOR WEARING

YOUR MAD MAX THUNDERDOME JACKET.

>> DO YOU LIKE IT?

>> STEPHEN: I DO.

YOU WERE BORN IN BANGKOK. SO TOBE CLEAR,

ARE YOU AN AMERICAN,CONGRESSWOMAN?

>> MY FATHER SERVED IN VIETNAMAND MET AND MARRIED MY MOTHER.

>> STEPHEN: THE TAIWANESE PEOPLEMUST BE PROUD OF YOU.

>> THAT WOULD BE THAI. TAIWANESE ARE FROM TAIWAN.

>> STEPHEN: POTATO, POTAHATO.MOVING ON, YOU SPONSORED H.R. 15

WHICH WOULD INCREASE BORDERSECURITY.

SO WE AGREE ON HOW TO SECURE THEBORDERS, HOW

WOULD YOU DO SO?

>> I THINK WE'RE DOING A GOODJOB OF SECURING THE BORDERS NOW

>> STEPHEN: DO YOU BELIEVE INA WALL?

>> IF THE WALL MAKES SOMEBODYHAPPY AND IT'S NOT -- THEN FINE.

BUT AS LONG AS YOU HAVECOMPREHENSIVE IMMIGRATION

REFORM -->> STEPHEN: BY COMPREHENSIVE

DO YOU MEAN MORE THAN A WALL?

BECAUSE MY PLAN IS MORE THAN AWALL.

I SAY WALL, MOAT, FILLED WITHFLAMES, FIREPROOF ALLIGATORS.

YOU KNOW THESE MIGRANT CHILDRENARE DISEASE VECTORS.

YOU'VE READ THE REPORTS AND I'MSURE YOU'VE SEEN THE REPORTS ON

TELEVISION THAT THEY'RE BRINGINGEBOLA INTO THE UNITED STATES.

>> NO, THEY'RE NOT.

>> STEPHEN: I THINK I MIGHTHAVE CAUGHT IT ALREADY BECAUSE

WHEN I LOOK AT THESE KIDS ON THEBORDER I GET A VERY WEIRD

CLUTCHING FEELING IN MY THROAT,MY HEART SINKS AND MY EYES BEGIN

TO LEAK.

THAT'S GOT TO BE EBOLA, I CAN'TIMAGINE WHAT ELSE.

>> I THINK THAT'S HUMANITY.

HUMANITY? IS THAT CURABLE?

I DON'T THINK SO.

I THINK IT MEANS YOU ACTUALLYCARE.

>> STEPHEN: I DID NOT KNOWTHAT.

SWITCHING GEARS.

YOU WERE A HELICOPTER PILOTSERVING IN WHICH THEATER?

>> IRAQ.

>> STEPHEN: OKAY.

AND YOUR HELICOPTER WAS SHOTDOWN, YOU LOST BOTH YOUR LEGS

AND PARTIAL USE OF ONE OF YOURARMS.

>> YES.

>> STEPHEN: YOU SAID WHEN YOUWERE RECOVERING IN THE HOSPITAL

THAT YOUR SPOUSE STAYED BY YOURSIDE AND YOU WANT GAYS AND

LESBIANS TO HAVE THAT RIGHT ANDSOMEONE BEING WITH THEM.

THAT IMPLYIES YOU THINK IT'SRIGHT FOR GAYS AND LESBIANS

TO SERVE IN THE MILITARY.

>> WHEN I WAS SHOT DOWN,BLEEDING TO DEATH IN MY

HELICOPTER, AND AN AMERICAN G.I.

CAME TO CARRY ME OUT TO SAFETY.

I DIDN'T STOP TO ASK IF HE WASSTRAIGHT OR GAY.

I WAS JUST GLAD HE WAS ANAMERICAN G.I.

>> STEPHEN: WHICH WAS HE,STRAIGHT OR GAY?

WELL HE WAS THE PILOT AND I KNOWHE'S HAPPILY MARRIED.

>> STEPHEN: STRAIGHT?

YES.

>> STEPHEN: SO FOR THE RECORD,'SAVED BY STRAIGHT MAN.'

LET'S GO BACK TO SOMETHING YOUWEREN'T SAYING BEFORE, BUT I

WOULD LIKE TO PRETEND YOU WERE,WE BOTH THINK OBAMACARE IS A

DISASTER.

OKAY?

>> I LIKE MY HEALTH INSURANCE IGET THROUGH THE AFFORDABLE CARE

ACT.

>> STEPHEN: YOU SAID YOU WEREDISAPPOINTED IN THE

IMPLEMENTATION OF THE AFFORDABLECARE ACT AND THAT IT HAD FLAWS

AND IS FAR FROM PERFECT.

>> I THINK MORE AMERICANS TODAYHAVE HEALTH INSURANCE THAN THEY

DID BEFORE THE AFFORDABLE CAREACT TOOK EFFECT.

>> STEPHEN: YOU BELIEVEEMPLOYERS SHOULD COVER THEIR

EMPLOYEES' CONTRACEPTION?

>> I THINK EMPLOYERS SHOULDPROVIDE HEALTH INSURANCE WHERE

THE EMPLOYEE CAN ACCESSCONTRACEPTION.

>> STEPHEN: WHAT'S THEDIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT AND

THROWING BLANKETS ON THECONFERENCE TABLE AND SAYING

GO AT IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THEMEETING? WHAT'S ONE DIFFERENCE?

>> THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE ISIT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT

YOUR EMPLOYEE DOES IN TERMS OFTHEIR REPRODUCTIVE CHOICE.

>> DON'T CORPORATIONS HAVERIGHTS TO THEIR RELIGIOUS

BELIEFS?

I PROVIDE BIRTH CONTROL FOR MYEMPLOYEES BECAUSE I AM

RELIGIOUSLY OPPOSED TO MATERNITYLEAVE.

>> I DON'T THINK YOU ACTUALLYPROVIDE IT.

I THINK THE INSURANCE PLANS DO.

>> STEPHEN: NO, I ACTUALLYPROVIDE IT.

I GRIND UP THE PILLS AND PUTTHEM IN THE WATER BOTTLES.

THE MEN ARE GROWING BREASTS,THAT'S THE HINT.

BUT THEY'RE KIND OF NICE,ACTUALLY.

(LAUGHTER)LAST QUESTION.

YOU SUPPORT "SENSIBLECONVERSATION" ON GUN CONTROL.

>> I DO.

CAN'T YOU HAVE AN EVEN MORESENSIBLE CONVERSATION IF YOU'VE

GOT GUNS? BECAUSE I FIND THAT IFI'M WAVING A GUN AROUND,

PEOPLE GET VERY QUIET AND LISTENTO WHAT I HAVE

TO SAY.

>> THAT'S NOT A CONVERSATION.

IT'S A MONOLOGUE.

YEAH.

SO WHY DO YOU WANT TO TAKEMY GUN.

>> I DON'T WANT TO TAKE YOURGUN, STEPHEN, BUT WE ALSO SHOULD

MAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE WHOSHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BUY GUNS

SUCH AS THOSE WITH MENTAL HEALTHISSUES, FELONS, SHOULD NOT HAVE

EASY ACCESS WITHOUT BACKGROUNDCHECKS.

>> REGULATION EQUALSCONFISCATION.

>> I DISAGREE WITH YOU THERE.

BUT IT RHYMES.

I GUESS.

I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TALKING TOME TODAY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)LET'S PUT ILLINOIS'S 8TH

UP ON THE BIG BOARD!

WOW!

SO CLOSE TO FILLING THE WHOLEMAP BEFORE THE SHOW ENDS!

I JUST HAVE TO DO TEN MORE OFTHESE SEGMENTS EVERY SHOW!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HEY, WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY!

NATION, THEY SAY LAUGHTER IS THEBEST MEDICINE, BUT I SAY, IF YOU

TAKE THE RIGHT MEDICINE,EVERYTHING SEEMS FUNNY.

THIS IS CHEATING DEATH WITHDR. STEPHEN T. COLBERT, D.F.A.!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> THERE'S THE QUEEN,

THERE'S THE GIRL, WHERE'S THEPRETTY LADY? OH!

FIRST, A DISCLAIMER -- I'M NOT AMEDICAL DOCTOR.

I HAVE AN HONORARY DOCTORATE INFINE ARTS.

SO I CAN'T WRITE PRESCRIPTIONS,BUT I CAN INTERPRETIVELY DANCE

THEM.

AS ALWAYS, CHEATING DEATH ISBROUGHT TO YOU BY PRESCOTT

PHARMACEUTICALS.

PRESCOTT: KID TESTED.

FIRST UP, PANDEMIC HEALTH.

FOLKS, AS I MENTIONED IN THEA BLOCK, WE'RE IN THE MIDST OF

AN EBOLA OUTBREAK.

OUR ONLY HOPE IS AN EXPERIMENTALDRUG CALLED ZMAPP, WHICH IS

OUR LAST CHANCE, SINCE WE'VEALREADY TRIED A THROUGH Y-MAPP.

AND YOU WILL BE SURPRISED HOWZMAPP IS Z-MADE.

>> SCIENTISTS MAY BE LOOKING TOTOBACCO PLANTS FOR THEIR CURE.

A PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY USEDTHE PLANTS TO DEVELOP ZMAPP.

>> IT USES TO BACK TO PLANTS TOMAKE THREE DIFFERENT COMPOUNDS.

PUT THEM TOGETHER AND YOU GETZMAPP.

>> WOULDN'T IT BE WONDERFUL IFTOBACCO WERE USED FOR HEALTH?

>> STEPHEN: YES, WOULDN'T ITBE WONDERFUL IF TOBACCO COULD

CURE EBOLA LIKE IT ONCE CUREDUNCOOLNESS?

(LAUGHTER)BUT FOLKS, THIS ASPIRING MIRACLE

CURE IS FAR FROM PERFECT.

THE PLANTS ARE CHOPPED UPFINELY, AND THE PROTEINS ARE

EXTRACTED THROUGH BOTH PHYSICALAND CHEMICAL FILTRATION, SO NONE

OF THESE MEDICINES WILL GIVE YOUA NICOTINE BUZZ.

THAT IS SO DISAPPOINTING TOTHOSE OF US WHO CHOOSE

MEDICATIONS MOSTLY FOR THEAWESOME SIDE EFFECTS.

I MAY NOT SUFFER FROMDEPRESSION, BUT I TAKE ABILIFY

JUST FOR THE DIZZINESS ANDEXCESS SALIVA.

(LAUGHTER)THE REAL TRAGEDY...

(LAUGHTER)THE REAL TRAGEDY...

HERE IS THATZMAPP WAS SO CLOSE TO SOLVING

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH ALLMEDICINE -- FORGETTING TO TAKE

IT.

THAT'S WHY PRESCOTTPHARMACEUTICALS, IN ASSOCIATION

WITH R.J. REYNOLDS, IS PROUD TOINTRODUCE

VASCA-GINIA SLIMS, THEPIONEERING ANTI-VIRAL MEDICATION

WE GUARANTEE WILL BECOME AHABIT.

>> FORGET GRANDPA'S PILLORGANIZER -- AFTER JUST A COUPLE

DAYS, YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM WILLTELL YOU WHEN YOU NEED IT.

YOU WILL KNOW IT'S TIME FOR ADOSE WHEN YOU SNAP AT YOUR KIDS

FOR NO REASON.

AND SURE, VASCA-GINIA SLIMS ARENOT MADE WITH THE SAME

ANTIBODY-LADEN TOBACCO ZMAPPUSES.

THEY GO ONE STEP FARTHER ANDGIVE THE EBOLA CANCER, BECAUSE

WHO'S GOT TOUGHER LUNGS -- YOUOR SOME VIRUS?

SIDE EFFECTS OF THE VASCA-GINIASLIMS INCLUDE ELEVATED HEART

WEIGHT, CANCER AND PROBABLYSTILL EBOLA.

WELL, THAT'S IT FOR CHEATINGDEATH.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY PRESCOTTPHARMACEUTICALS.

PRESCOTT: MERCURY-FREE SINCE2015!

(LAUGHTER)UNTIL NEXT TIME, I'LL SEE YOU IN

HEALTH!

>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK!

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS HERE TODISCUSS THE 100TH ANNIVERSARY

OF THE LIBERAL MAGAZINE "THE NEWREPUBLIC."

THIS MONTH'S CENTER FOLD, F.D.R.

AGAIN.

PLEASE WELCOME LEONWIESELTIER!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING

HERE.

>> MY PLEASURE.

>> STEPHEN: FOR THOSE WHO MAYNOT KNOW, YOU ARE A WRITER,

CRITIC, PHILOSOPHER AND LONGTIME EDITOR OF "THE NEW

REPUBLIC." THERE'S YOURLIBERAL RAG. THE MAGAZINE

CELEBRATES ITS HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY THIS YEAR, AND

HAS RELEASED A NEW BOOK CALLEDINSURRECTIONS OF THE MIND,

100 YEARS OF POLITICS ANDCULTURE IN AMERICA.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE ACULTURAL CRITIC?

DO YOU HAVE A CRITIQUE OF OURPRESENT CULTURE?

>> OH, I DO, YES.

I DO.

IT'S A VERY ELABORATE ONE.

YES.

SO -->> STEPHEN: TEN WORDS OR LESS.

TEN WORDS OR LESS -- TOO MUCHDIGITAL, NOT ENOUGH CRITICAL

THINKING, MORE PHYSICAL REALITY.

>> STEPHEN: THAT'S TEN, DAMN! NOONE'S EVER DONE THAT BEFORE.

>> STEPHEN: THAT'S TEN, DAMN! NOONE'S EVER DONE THAT BEFORE.

SO YOU'RE ONE OF THEM LITERARYTYPES.

>> MM-HMM(LAUGHTER)

>> STEPHEN: THE MAGAZINE WASFOUNDED 100 YEARS AGO.

THAT'S THE BEGINNING TO HAVE THEPROGRESSIVE ERA IN THE U.S.

>> IT WAS.

>> STEPHEN: WHAT'S THEDIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PROGRESSIVE

AND WHAT WE THINK OF AS ALIBERAL TODAY.

>> SOMETIMES THEY GET CONFUSEDAND LUMPED TOGETHER.

THE PROGRESSIVES ARE MORE TO THELEFT OF US.

>> STEPHEN: OF YOU?

TO THE LEFT OF YOUR HAIR?

>> ACTUALLY, WAY TO THE LEFT.

THIS IS CENTRIST HAIR.

(LAUGHTER)>> STEPHEN: WHO ARE SOME OF

THE GREAT MINDS WHO HAVEINSURRECTIONS OF THE MIND?

>> JOHN MAYNARD KEYNES, ORSONWELLS.

>> STEPHEN: KEYNES ECONOMICS --I PAY YOU TO DIG A HOLE,

TOMORROW I PAY YOU TO FILL ITIN, THAT CAT?

>> APPROXIMATELY.

>> STEPHEN: CLOSE ENOUGH FOR MYSHOW.

>> ALL RIGHT THEN

>> STEPHEN: IT SEEMS LIKE THEPEOPLE OF THE NEW REPUBLIC

ARE FOLKS WHO BELIEVE INTHINKING, OKAY.

>> WE DO. IT'S PRETTYOUTRAGEOUS, I KNOW.

>> STEPHEN: IT IS.

(LAUGHTER)NOT VERY POPULAR THESE DAYS.

SELL ME ON THINKING.

(LAUGHTER)BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO THINK

MUCH ANYMORE.

I CAN JUST FEEL, AND I CAN ALSOOPEN ANY EYES AND TAKE THE

DIGITAL FIRE HOSE FROM MY SCREENAND WATCH VIDEOS AND PICTURES

OF, YOU KNOW, SOMEONE'S PIE-->> AND MISTAKE THAT FOR

THINKING.

>> STEPHEN: NOT MISTAKING IT FORTHINKING, I'M PREFERRING IT.

I UNDERSTAND.

I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD, BUTHERE'S THE REASON, A DEMOCRATIC

SOCIETY, AN OPEN SOCIETY PLACESAN EXTRAORDINARY INTELLECTUAL

RESPONSIBILITY ON ORDINARY MENAND WOMEN BECAUSE WE ARE

GOVERNED BY WHAT WE THINK, WEARE GOVERNED BY OUR OPINIONS, SO

THE CONTENT AND THE QUALITY OFOUR OPINIONS AND THE QUALITY OF

THE FORMATION OF OUR OPINIONS ISWHAT BASICALLY DETERMINES THE

CHARACTER OF OUR SOCIETY ANDTHAT MEANS IN A DEMOCRACY IN AN

OPEN SOCIETY, A THOUGHTLESSCITIZEN OF A DEMOCRACY IS A

DELINQUENT CITIZEN OF ADEMOCRACY.

(APPLAUSE)>> STEPHEN: I THOUGHT YOU WERE

STILL FILIBUSTERING.

I'M SORRY.

>> NO.

>> STEPHEN: WHAT ABOUTFEELING?

>> HUMAN LIFE WILL NEVER SUFFERFROM TOO LITTLE FEELING.

WE ALL FEEL ALL THE TIME.

WE'RE MORTAL CREATURES.

WE HAVE HEARTS.

>> STEPHEN: YES.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS NOT TOMISTAKE OUR HEARTS FOR OUR

MINDS.

THEY DO TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

IF WE WERE ONLY HEARTS OR MINDSWE WOULD BE MONSTERS, BUT WE'RE

BOTH.

SO THE ROLE OF THE MIND IS TOACTUALLY QUESTION SOME OF THE

ASSUMPTIONS AND DOGMAS ANDPREJUDICES OF THE HEART.

>> STEPHEN: BUT THERE'S ATHIRD ORGAN YOU'RE LEAVING OUT

>> I BET THERE IS.

>> STEPHEN: WELL, THERE'S AFOURTH.

THANK YOU FOR RAISING THE LEVELOF THE CONVERSATION.

>> STEPHEN: THERE'S YOUR GUT,THERE'S YOUR GUT

THERE'S THE MIND, SAYING WESHOULD DO SOMETHING

DIFFERENT!

THEN YOUR HEART, OH, THIS IS HOWI FEEL ABOUT THE THINGS YOU'RE

DOING. AND THEN THERE'S MY GUTTHAT TELLS ME THIS IS RIGHT.

>> RIGHT.

>> STEPHEN: I GO WITH MY GUTBECAUSE MY GUT IS RESPONSIBLE

FOR THE ACTIONS THAT REQUIRECOURAGE, WHICH ARE MY BALLS.

>> RIGHT.

I SEE.

ALL RIGHT.

I SEE.

>> STEPHEN: MY GUT AND MYBALLS --

(LAUGHTER)MY GUT AND MY BALLS ARE FIGHTING

MY BRAIN AND MY HEART.

>> IT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL.

WE'VE JUST MET SO I'M NOT GOINGTO DISCUSS SOME OF.

THIS I AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT THEGUT BUT A GUT REQUIRES

EDUCATION.

I BELIEVE IN EDUCATED GUTS.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS WE HAVEREASON FOR OUR BELIEFS AND

THEN WE ARTICULATE AND THENDEFEND THE REASONS.

>> STEPHEN: HERE'S A REASONFOR MY BELIEFS.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> STEPHEN: THEY FEEL GOOD.

(LAUGHTER)IT FEELS GOOD TO THINK THAT WHEN

I DIE I WILL GO TO HEAVEN.

THAT FEELS GOOD.

IT FEELS GOOD TO THINK THAT I AMRIGHT.

THAT FEELS GOOD.

>> WELL, YOU KNOW THAT IT'SPREPOSTEROUS TO THINK THAT

BECAUSE ONE FEELS SOMETHING THATIT'S THE TRUTH.

>> STEPHEN: NO, IT'S NOT TRUE.

IT'S TRUTHY.

WHICH IS GREATER THAN TRUTH.

IT IS INASSAILABLE BECAUSE MYTRUTH IS BASED UPON WHAT I WANT

TO BE TRUE -->> RIGHT.

>> STEPHEN: -- RATHER THANANYTHING THE FACTS COULD

POSSIBLY SUPPORT.

YOUR TRUTH REQUIRES WORK, MINEREQUIRES MERELY A DECISION.

I'LL BEAT YOU TO THE TRUTH PUNCHALL THE TIME.

>> I CONGRATULATE YOU ON LIVINGIN A WORLD ENTIRELY YOUR OWN.

>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU.

IT'S CALLED THE COLBERT NATION!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THE NEW REPUBLIC INSURRECTIONSOF THE MIND! GET IT ALL!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> STEPHEN: THAT'S IT FOR "THE

REPORT"!

GOOD NIGHT!