CC Presents: Becky Pedigo

  • Season 10, Ep 21
  • 04/27/2006

I'M VERY,VERY EXCITED TO BE HERE.I DON'T ALWAYS GET TO

WORK PLACES THAT ARE THIS NICE.

I JUST DID A SHOW AT A COUNTRY AND WESTERN BAR. AND--

THIS IS TRUE. I'D BEEN ON STAGE LIKE A MINUTE AND A HALF,

WHEN I HEARD, "NEVER COME HERE AGAIN."

AND I THOUGHT, "OH, MY GOSH. DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?"

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, I HATE TO STARTTHE SHOW OFF PLAYING THESYMPATHY CARD, PEOPLE.

BUT I HAVE BEEN RECENTLYRECOVERING FROM A PRETTY TRAGIC

HAIRCUT THAT I GAVE MYSELF. HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT?

MA'AM, HAVE YOU CUT YOUR HAIR? IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA.

I ACTUALLY PAID SOMEONETO DO IT FIRST.

AND THEN WHEN I LEFT,I THOUGHT, "HE DIDN'TKNOW WHAT HE WAS DOIN'.

I THINK I'M GONNAGIVE THAT A SHOT." YEAH.

I DON'T RECOMMEND THAT, YOU GUYS, NO.

THERE'S A REASON THAT THEY GO TO SCHOOL FOR 3 1/2 WEEKS.

- LET THEM CUT YOUR HAIR. - [LAUGHTER]

SO, I WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE

THE OTHER DAY AND THEY SAID,

"WELL, YOU KNOW HOW WE OVERACHIEVERS ARE."

NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT'S LIKE.

I'M WHAT YOU'D CALL A HALF-ASSER.

YEAH. I'M A HALF-ASSER,AND I LIKE IT. OKAY?

SO DON'T TRY TO DRAG ME INTO YOUR LITTLE OVERACHIEVER CULT.

OKAY? WHERE PLANS ARE MADE, AND THINGS GET DONE.

I GOT MY OWN WAY OF LIVIN'. I LIKE TO CALL IT

THE, "WHAT IS THE LEAST AMOUNT OF WORK I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO

TO GET THROUGH THIS SITUATION?"

AND HERE WE ARE IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I WILL SAY, THOUGH, IN MY OWN DEFENSE,

THAT WHAT I LACK IN PREPARATION,I MAKE UP FOR WITH PUNCTUALITY.

OH YEAH, I'M ALWAYS ON TIME. AND YET, RARELY PREPARED.

MY MOTTO IS, "OH WELL, WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS."

- AND HERE WE ARE. - [LAUGHTER]

SO I'M IN MY 30s. I LIKE IT. I DON'T MIND ADMITTING IT.

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