Tuesday, February 25, 2014

  • 02/25/2014

Danny Pudi, Gillian Jacobs and Jim Rash of NBC's "Community" come up with failed college names, read Twitter confessions and get a visit from Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson.

>> Chris: RIPPED FROM TODAY'S

HEADLINES, IT'S RAPID REFRESH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THE TRAILER FOR THE NEW

"GODZILLA" MOVIE HIT THE

INTERNET TODAY AND IT LOOKS

SUPER AWESOME, TAKE A LOOK AT

THIS.

>> IT IS GOING TO SEND US BACK

TO THE STONE AGE!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S COMING.

>> Chris: HEISENBERG VERSUS

GODZILLA, (BLEEP) YEAH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

GODZILLA IS THE NEW JESSE--

"ROAR, BITCH!"

(LAUGHTER)

TWITTER COLLECTIVELY HAD A

SCALY GREEN ORGASM OVER THE

TRAILER.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING REAL

TWEETS GOT THE MOST RE-TWEETS?

THESE ARE ALL REAL.

A) I HAVE JUST WATCHED THE NEW

"GODZILLA" TRAILER AND I AM NOW

PREGNANT WITH A BABY GODZILLA.

(LAUGHTER)

WE WOULD CALL THAT GODZUKI.

DIDN'T ANYONE WATCH THE

"GODZILLA" CARTOON?

(LAUGHTER)

♪ UP FROM THE DEPTHS, 30 STORIES

HIGH, IT'S GODZILLA!

AND GODZUKI! ♪

DO YOU REMEMBER GODZUKI?

(LAUGHTER)

ALL RIGHT.

B) I DON'T WANT TO OVERHYPE IT,

BUT THAT GODZILLA TRAILER JUST

JERKED ME OFF, GAVE ME $1,000

AND MADE ME A SANDWICH.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

C) ALMOST HAD TO BUY A NEW PAIR

OF PANTS AFTER WATCHING THE NEW

GODZILLA TRAILER.

#NUTS

#SWAGZILLA

WHICH ONE OF THOSE GOT THE

MOST RE-TWEETS, YOU GUYS?

>> I HAVE TO GO WITH B, JUST

BECAUSE THAT IS HOW I WOULD

LIVE.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS B!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> THANK YOU.

>> Chris: I OF COURSE AM VERY

EXCITED ABOUT THIS MOVIE, AND

NOT JUST BECAUSE NERDIST

INDUSTRIES IS A SUBSIDIARY OF

LEGENDARY PICTURES.

(LAUGHTER)

>> OH, MAN, THAT WAS FAST.

>> Chris: I REALLY AM.

I REALLY AM EXCITED ABOUT IT,

BUT I SAW ANOTHER TRAILER THAT I

AM EVEN MORE EXCITED AND

TERRIFIED BY.

>> IT IS GOING TO SEND US BACK

TO THE STONE AGE!

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> IT WORKS.

>> WOW.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: IT'S PRETTY

TERRIFYING.

>> THAT'S JUST AS TERRIFYING TO

ME.

>> Chris: OKAY, ON INSTAGRAM WE

FOUND THIS VIDEO OF A GUY WHO'S

REALLY EXCITED ABOUT A BREAKING

NEWS STORY, TAKE A LOOK.

>> WE JUST FOUND OUT THE

HEAVENLY NEWS.

THE HEAVENLY NEWS!

YES, GOD.

>> Chris: WHAT IS THIS MAN SO

EXCITED ABOUT?

A) THE LAUNCH OF A W.W.E

NETWORK?

B) ROBIN THICKE'S DIVORCE.

C) TACO BELL NOW SERVING

BREAKFAST.

>> I AM GOING TO GUESS TACO BELL

IS NOW SERVING BREAKFAST.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

>> TACO BELL IS SERVING

BREAKFAST, YES!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> HALLELUJAH!

>> YEAH!

GIVE ME SOME WAFFLES!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

TONIGHT'S #HASHTAG WARS!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

IN HONOR OF "COMMUNITY,"

TONIGHT'S HASHTAG IS

#FAILEDCOLLEGES.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE BOSTON

MARKET COLLEGE.

(LAUGHTER)

SHARTMOUTH.

(LAUGHTER)

SORRY, I LAUGHED.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M SUCH AN ASSHOLE FOR LAUGHING

AT A THING I JUST SAID, BUT I

CAN'T HELP IT.

I'M GOING TO PUT 60 SECONDS ON

THE CLOCK, STARTING NOW.

GO, DANNY PUDI.

>> ST. JOHN'S WART.

>> Chris: POINTS.

GILLIAN.

>> FAIL!

>> Chris: POINTS!

RASH!

>> M.I.TEABAGGED.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: YES, GOOD ONE!

YES, PUDI.

>> BRIGHAM I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM

YOUNG UNIVERSITY.

>> Chris: YES, POINTS.

GILLIAN.

>> SLIPPERY (BLEEP) UNIVERSITY.

>> Chris: YES, POINTS.

RASH.

>> STANFORD AND SON.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS, POINTS.

GILLIAN.

>> OXYCONTIN COLLEGE.

>> Chris: YES, POINTS, I'LL GIVE

THAT TO YOU, POINTS.

DANNY.

>> IT WAS THE BUTLER UNIVERSITY!

>> Chris: POINTS.

GILLIAN.

>> TEMPLE OF DOOM UNIVERSITY.

>> Chris: OH, POINTS!

RASH.

>> THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS

PRINCETON.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS.

YES, GILLIAN.

>> PENN STATE PENITENTIARY.

>> Chris: YES, POINTS.

RASH.

>> U.C. LABIA.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: I WENT TO U.C. LABIA.

I MAJORA-D IN PHILOSOPHY.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

@COLLEGEFESSION IS A

TWITTER FEED THAT POSTS

ANONYMOUS COLLEGE CONFESSIONS.

THE TM THERE STANDS FOR "TOO

MUCH, MAKE IT STOP."

I'M GOING TO READ YOU A

CONFESSION AND FOR 250 POINTS, I

WANT YOU GUYS TO FILL IN THE

BLANK, ALL RIGHT?

HERE IS THE FIRST ONE.

"I'M CALLED THE BONER MAN

BECAUSE I HAD SEX WITH BLANK

FROM CORNELL."

DANNY PUDI.

>> EVERY MEMBER OF BONE THUGS

AND HARMONY.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THAT IS POSSIBLE.

>> DANNY, AND I DIDN'T MISS

ANYBODY!

>> Chris: NICE!

>> ♪AND I DIDN'T MISS ANYBODY

>> Chris: GOOD.

SO RIGHT OFF THE BAT, 250 POINTS

TO DANNY PUDI, 100 POINTS TO

GILLIAN FOR THE ASSIST ON THE

REFERENCE.

"I AM CALLED THE BONER MAN

BECAUSE I HAD SEX WITH BLANK"

IS...

A SNOWMAN.

>> I DON'T GET IT.

>> WAIT, WHAT?

>> I DON'T GET IT.

>> EXPLAIN THAT.

>> THANKS, CORNELL, WHAT?

>> A SNOW-MAN?

GAY!

(LAUGHTER)

NEXT ONE: "WENT TO MY FIRST

COLLEGE PARTY AND PLAYED WITH

BLANK FOR THE MAJORITY OF IT."

FROM UNIVERSITY OF MARY

WASHINGTON.

YES, RASH?

>> I WAS GOING TO SAY THE IDEA

OF KILLING EVERYTHING.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: DIDN'T DO IT.

JUST TOYED WITH THE IDEA,

ENTERTAINED.

POINTS TO JIM RASH.

LET'S FIND THE ACTUAL ANSWER IS

A CAT FOR THE MAJORITY OF IT.

>> THAT WAS MY SECOND ANSWER.

I WAS LIKE KILL OR CAT.

>> Chris: KILL OR CAT.

>> IT FEELS VERY GILLIAN.

>> YES, I'VE DEFINITELY BEEN

THAT PERSON.

OH YEAH, NORMALLY, IF PEOPLE

HAVE CHILDREN IF I AM GOING TO

LIKE A DINNER PARTY OF ADULTS

AND SOMEONE HAS A KID, I SEEK

OUT THE CHILD AND PLAY WITH THEM

AND AVOID THE ADULTS, I HAVE

NEVER EMBARRASSED ANYONE I HAVE

DATED.

(LAUGHTER)

ONLINE COMMUNITY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ACCORDING TO TUMBLR AND DEVIANT

ART, TELEVISION'S HIGHEST RATED

PROGRAM IS NBC'S "COMMUNITY."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I'M TALKING ABOUT FAN SITES,

FAN ART, FAN FICTION, ALL ABOUT

YOU GUYS, ALL OVER THE INTERNET.

WHAT'S SOME FANFIC THAT YOU'VE

READ, "COMMUNITY" FANFIC?

>> AHA!

(LAUGHTER)

MOST OF IT INVOLVES A LOT OF

RELATIONSHIP STUFF WITH TROY AND

ABED AND THEY'RE USUALLY NOT

CLOTHED, SO.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S THE STUFF THAT I'M TOLD

EXISTS.

>> Chris: WELL, LET'S SEE IF WE

CAN UNCOVER SOME OF THAT TODAY.

WE'RE GOING TO DESCRIBE TWO

"COMMUNITY" FAN POSTS AND YOU

HAVE TO DECIDE WHICH ONE IS

REAL, ALL RIGHT?

>> OKAY.

>> Chris: FIRST ONE.

(LAUGHTER)

A DRAWING OF TROY AND ABED IN A

DELICATE SHIRTLESS EMBRACE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> SURPRISE!

>> Chris: YOU CALLED IT, MAN.

OR TIMELINE OF EVERY DAN

HARMON TWEET FROM 2011 IN WHICH

HE MENTIONED TAKING A POOP.

WHICH ONE OF THOSE IS REAL,

DANNY PUDI?

>> I HAVE TO SAY B JUST BECAUSE

I WANT TO BELIEVE ONE EXISTS,

THE TIMELINE WITH DAN HARMON.

>> Chris: BUT YOU SAID YOU KNOW

IT EXISTS.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS, OF COURSE

THAT!

(LAUGHTER)

I MEAN, COME ON, MAN.

YOU KNOW THE RULES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> HIS HAND IS IN MY BUTT!

>> THE LIKENESS THERE IS

UNCANNY.

>> Chris: I WOULD LIKE TO

MENTION HOW GENTLE YOU LOOK

THERE AS WELL.

"THERE, THERE, CHILDISH

GAMBINO.

THERE, THERE."

>> OH, I THOUGHT THEY WERE

LYING ON A BED MADE OF PAPER OR

ARE THEY JUST STANDING UP?

(LAUGHTER)

>> SOMEONE DREW THIS--

FOR ONE SECOND YOU GO, "OH,

THEY MUST BE ON A BED OF PAPER"?

RATHER THAN THE MOST OBVIOUS

THING, A SHEET OF NOTEBOOK

PAPER.

>> IT'S A SCHOOLWORK!

>> Chris: THE NEXT ONE, A

DRAWING OF JEFF WINGER AND ABED

ABOUT TO KISS IN THE STYLE OF

"SIXTEEN CANDLES"?

PEOPLE LOVE THE ABED SLASH FIC.

OR A DRAWING OF JEFF WINGER

LOVINGLY RESTING HIS HEAD ON

SHIRLEY'S BOSOM?

RASH.

>> I'M GOING TO GO WITH "SIXTEEN

CANDLES" JUST BECAUSE I CAN.

>> Chris: WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK

BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH REAL!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

FACEBOOK GROUPS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THERE ARE A TON OF COLLEGE

GROUPS ON FACEBOOK MANY OF WHICH

NO ONE IN THIS ROOM WOULD EVER

WANT TO JOIN, LIKE FREE

COMPLIMENTS CLUB.

(LAUGHTER)

BRONIES AT CHICO STATE, U.I.C

STUDENTS WHO ENJOY CASUAL

MEOWING.

(LAUGHTER)

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

SHE'S A MEMBER!

>> WE HAVE A MEMBER.

>> Chris: COMEDIANS, I WOULD

LIKE YOU TO COME UP WITH AS MANY

NEW WEIRD COLLEGE FACEBOOK

GROUPS AS POSSIBLE.

I'M GOING TO PUT 60 SECONDS ON

THE CLOCK AND GO.

JIM RASH, GO.

>> THE COLOR ME BAD LISTENERS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: ♪ I WANT TO POINTS YOU

UP. ♪

>> THANK YOU.

>> Chris: YES, GILLIAN.

>> THE HAMM RADIO CLUB WHERE ALL

WE DISCUSS IS JON HAMM AND PORK.

>> Chris: POINTS, YES, POINTS.

I'D BE IN THAT CLUB.

DANNY PUDI.

>> COALITION FOR 7:00 A.M.

CLASSES.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS.

GILLIAN.

>> INTRAMURAL SHARTING.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> NOT VARSITY.

>> Chris: THOSE ARE REALLY GROSS

BRACKETS.

LIKE ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

POINTS, GILLIAN.

DANNY.

>> LET'S ARGUE ABOUT

CONTROVERSIAL POLITICAL TOPICS!

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: OH, THAT'S JUST ALL

COLLEGE, BUT I WILL GIVE YOU

POINTS FOR THAT.

OH, JIM RASH.

>> LET'S ALL GO TO GOOGLE PLUS!

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS.

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