Monday, February 24, 2014

  • 02/24/2014

Ali Wong, Tommy Johnagin and Rob Delaney come up with patriotic band names, help sell strange items on Etsy and write a review of a sleepy cable guy.

>> Chris: RIPPED FROM TODAY'SINTERNET

HEADLINES IT'S RAPID REFRESH! THE VINE BLEW UP WITH MILEY

CYRUS KISSING A GIRL AND SHEDIDN'T LIKE IT.

>>>> BUT KATY PERRY I THOUGHT YOU

KISSED A GIRL ONE TIME AND YOUTOTALLY LIKED IT.

FOR THOSE OF YOU GUYS THATMISSED THAT, LET'S WATCH IT IN

SLOW MOTION.

>> THAT IS HOW I SAW IT.

THE SEXUAL TENSION MUSTHAVE BEEN BUILDING FOR SOME

TIME.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING IS ARECENT MILEY TWEET ABOUT KATY

PERRY.

>> HEY, KATY PERRY LET'S HAVE APARTY IN THE USA, IN MY PANTS.

>> HAD DREAMS ABOUT@KATY PERRYALL NIGHT.

DAMN THAT WAS A GOOD TIME, NEEDTO SEE YOU MORE OFTEN SLOOT.

>> IS THAT CANADIAN SLUT?

>> SLOOT?

PARTSROAR EVERY TIME I SEE KATYPERRY?

>> I THINK IT HAS TO BE CBECAUSE I LIKE LADY PARTS AS ONE

WORD WITH A Z.

>> THE CORRECT ACTUALLY ISACTUALLY B.

>> SLOOT!

>> LOOK AT THOSE SLOOTS OUT ANDABOUT!

>> IT COULD BE A REFERENCE TOHER FAVORITE SERIAL KILLER,

JORAN VAN DER SLOOT.

>> THAT WILL GIVE YOU 100 POINTSJUST FOR YOUR MOXIE.

>> GOOD REFERENCE, GOODREFERENCE.

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT.

NEXT ON THE HOLLYWOODREPORTER.COM IS HOLLYWOOD

REPORTER THE DIRECTOR OF "RIDEALONG" IS PLANNING TO MAKE A

MOVIE BASED ON DENNIS RODMAN'SBASKETBALL/ACID TRIP TO NORTH

KOREA. COMEDIANS FOR 100POINTS NAME THIS MOVIE.

>> ALI WONG.

>> RUSH HOUR 4.

>> THERE IS NO I IN COMMUNISM.

>> I WILL GIVE YOU POINTS FORTHAT.

>> ROB DELANEY.

>> PYONGYANG DANG.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: IN HONOR OF THE

BRAVE AMERICAN MEN AND WOMEN WHOWITNESSED THE ATROCITY THAT WAS

MADISON RISING'S RENDITION OFOUR NATIONAL ANTHEM.

>> YOU NEED TO SEE HE HOLDS UPTHE FLAG AND THEN HUGS IT.

IS IT LEGAL TO BURN THE FLAG IFIT CATCHES ON FIRE BECAUSE I AM

TRYING TO (BLEEP) THE STARS OFFIT?

>> I SAY NO!

>> TONIGHT'S HASH TAG ISPATRIOTIC BANDS.

>> PATRIOTIC BANDS EXAMPLESMAYBE BILL CLINTON AND THE

FUNKADELIC OR SHAKHA CONGRESS.

>> AND PUT 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK AND GO.

>> MACKLEMORE FREEDOM AFFORDABLEHEALTHCARE.

>> JOHN DELANEY.

> THESE COLORS DON'T RUN-D. M. C.

>> ALI WONG.

>> AMERICA BADOO.

>> ROB DELANEY.

>> C.I. AVITT BROTHERS.

>> ALI.

>> FILIBUSTER RHYMES.

>> SO GOOD.

>>>> ONE DIRECTION UNDER GOD WITH

LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.

>> ROB DELANEY.

>> THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELANDSECURI-TINA TURNER.

>> YOU GOT IT.

>> ALLMAN ARE CREATED EQUALBROTHERS BAND.

>> JOHN DELANEY.

>> NAVY SEAL, YOU KNOW,SEAL.

ETSY PITCHMEN! YOU GUYSENJOY BUYING

USELESS PRODUCTS MADE BY THECRIMINALLY INSANE, ETSY IS FOR

YOU, 250 POINTS YOU HAVE TO GIVEME A KILLER TAG LINE TO HELP

SELL IT.

ALL RIGHT HERE IS THE FIRST ONE.

THIS FELT RABBIT NECKLACE.

YES YES, ROB DELANEY.

>> IF YOUR VIRGINITY IS INJEOPARDY, JUST THROW THIS ON.

I WILL GIVE YOU POINTS FOR THAT.

YES, TOMMY JOHNAGIN.

>> FOR THE WOMAN IN LIFE YOUDON'T WANT TO BE IN YOUR LIFE

ANYMORE.

>> PLEASE GO AWAY!

>> IT HAS 1200 REVIEWS, AND THEYARE

ALL FIVE STARS, I LOOKED ATTHEM.

>> ARE THEY?

>> I SWEAR TO GOD.

>> THEY REALLY ARE ALL FIVESTARS, I WONDER WHAT THE --

>> MASS SUICIDE IS GOING TO LOOKLIKE.

NEXT ONE, TRAVESTY IN A TEACUP.

>> TRAVESTY IN A TEACUP.

>>>> YES, ROB DELANEY.

>> START YOUR DAY OFF RIGHT WITHA STEM CELL SMOOTH AT THIS

CHUNKY STYLE.

>> I KNOW THE CROWD WAS WITH YOUAT THE BEGINNING AND THEN THEY

GOT A LITTLE UPSET BUT I DOBELIEVE, I DO BLAME THIS, POINTS

OR NO POINTS?

>> POINTS!

>> YOU GET POINTS.

>> THE AUDIENCE SAYS POINTS.

>> CHUNKY STYLE, ALI WONG.

>> HONEY WE ARE OUT OF COFFEE, ITHINK IT IS TIME FOR PLAN B.

>> POINTS ALI WONG!

[ APPLAUSE ]>> I HATE TO DO THIS BUT THAT

LOOKS JUST LIKE MY DAUGHTER.

>> SO CUTE.

>> Chris: I DON'T KNOW IF ISHOULD GIVE YOU POINTS FOR THAT

OR NOT BUT IT MADE ME LAUGH SO IWILL GIVE YOU POINTS, TOMMY

>> LOOK AT THIS LEATHER DOLLBABY.

>> YES, TOMMY, PLEASE DON'T SAYTHAT LOOKS LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER.

>> THIS IS A GREAT DOLL TO SITOUTSIDE BARBIE'S DREAM HOUSE IN

A WINDOWLESS VAN.

TIME FOR VIDEO BOMBS, CREEPY ORCUTE?

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: I WILL SHOW YOU A

VIDEO BOMB CLIP THAT HAS GONEVIRAL AND YOU GUESS IT IS BOMBED

BY SOMETHING CREEPY OR CUTE.

>> THIS BENCH PRESSING BRO.

>> CREEPY.

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

♪>> Chris: OH -- WHAT THE

(BLEEP), I AM TRYING TO -- ANDYOU GRAB YOUR GLUTS ALL ACROSS

THE GYM FLOOR.

>> DID YOU SAY CREEPY?

>> I DID.

>> Chris: THAT IS CUTE, MAN,THAT IS ADORABLE,.

>> HE IS TURNED ON LIKE THE TIMEYOU WERE SPOTTING ME AT THE GYM

AND THEN YOU STARTED -->> NO, NO, NO WE DON'T TALK

ABOUT THAT HERE, NO, WE WEREJUST WORKING OUT.

>> GETTING OUR PUMP ON.

>> Chris: AND THIS REPORTER.

CREEPY OR CUTE.

>> CUTE!

>> Chris: YOU SEEM TENTATIVE.

LET'S FIND OUT.

>>>> AND THAT IS THE LEAST

DISGUSTING THING TO HAPPEN ONHOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT? WHAT ANSWERDID YOU SAID.

>> OH, I SAID CUTE.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: I AM GOING TO PULL A

RULING ON THIS, I THINK EARLIERWE DECIDED IT WAS CREEPY BUT

ACTUALLY I AM GOING TO GIVE YOUCUTE.

THAT WAS ADORABLE! THAT WASADORABLE!

>> YOU HAVE TO DO THAT EVERYTIME YOU WALK OVER A PAMELA

ANDERSON STAR.

>> I DON'T KNOW IF SHE HAS ONE.

>> Chris: THEY CAN'T HELP IT.

HOW ABOUT THIS REDHEADEDSNACKER.

>> ALI WONG.

>> CREEPY.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

>> OH!

>> THE CRAZY PART IT IS LIKETHIS IS JUST NORMAL.

>> Chris: TOTALLY NORMAL.

>> IT IS JUST I AM GETTINGSNACKED IN THE FACE BY MY BAT,

YOU KNOW.

BUZZ SPEED, BUZZ SOEED!

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: I LOVE BUZZFEED SO

MUCH.

HI, KATE AUTHOR, IT IS AMAZING,LIKE 21 THINGS YOU ARE DOING

WRONG IN THE BATHROOM OR 40OTHER THINGS TO DO WITH A PIG,

AND 89 THINGS I LEARNED AT THEGATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS, IT

GOES ON AND ON AND ON, COMEDIANSI WOULD LIKE YOU TO COME UP WITH

A BUZZFEED LIST THAT ARE MORERIDICULOUS THAT THE ONES WE

SHOWED FROM BUZZFEED, FOR EACH1250 POINTS, 60-SECONDS ON THE

CLOCK AND GO.

>> ROB DELANEY.

>> 200 PEOPLE, TOTALLY CHILLEDPEOPLE CALLED ADOLPH.

>> 21 THINGS YOU ARE DOING WRONGIN YOUR WIFE.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> ROB DELANEY.

>> THREE AND A HALF INCHES THATMY DICK IS.

>> Chris: POINTS, POINTS ALIWONG.

>> 13 MOST SEXUALLY FRUSTRATEDPOKEMON.

>> Chris: SAY IT AGAIN! POINTS! ROB DELANEY.

>> 17 SENATORS I COULD IDENTIFYFROM THE WASTE DOWN.

WAIST DOWN.

>> Chris: POINTS.

TOMMY JOHNAGIN.

>> 20 THINGS MY WIFE IS DOINGWRONG IN ME.

>> Chris: POINTS!

>> ALI WONG.

>> 43 THINGS THAT BECAMECHIFFON.

>> Chris: 43?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

>> Chris: POINTS.

TOMMY.

>> TODAY'S TOP TEN POOPS.

>> Chris: TEN POOPS IN A DAY? THAT IS A LOT OF POOPS.

YOU ARE A HEALTHY MAN.

>> THAT'S A LOT?

>> Chris: NO, NO! ROBDELANEY.

>> ONE MAN WHO IS NOT MY REALDAD, CHRIS.

>> Chris: YOU CAN GO TO YOURROOM WITH THAT ATTITUDE.

TAKE THESE POINTS WITH YOU.

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