In this episode, Republicans choose a new leader. Don't worry -- they're the same old ideas. Then, advice for America's CEOs. Step one: by a shredder. Step two: plug in the shredder. Step three: dive right in. Then, author Henry Louis Gates has a new book about Lincoln. I'm pretty sure he wrote it just to meet Obama. Hey, Lady Liberty, isn't it time you settled down and found yourself a man? This is The Colbert Report.