In this episode, John Edwards spends $400 on a haircut. In other news, Dennis Kucinich spends $100 on a suit. Plus, I sit down with Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn. Now if only he would act like an American. Then, Sean and I face off in the first ever battle of the metaphors. English departments, start your VCRs. A dozen means 12 -- learn to count, bakers. This is The Colbert Report.