The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings

  • Season 5, Ep 16
  • 03/05/2008

Fry makes a deal with the Robot Devil in order to master the holophone and show his love for Leela.

( ethereal, echoing, alto sax-type riffs )

Is it part of the opera?

Leela!You shouldn't be listening.

I don't want you to hear ittill it's done.

But it's so beautiful.

So is a peacock

but you don't eat ituntil it's cooked.

This has to be perfect.

I want you to hearexactly what I hear

when I think about you.

Oh, Fry, all this timeyou've had this incredible gift

and I never knew.

I've been a fool--a fully justified, prudent fool.

( screeches )

They're so cold!

ROBOT DEVIL:And yet Hell is so hot!

( fiendish laughter )

Can I havemy hands back now?

No!

You're not nice!

( tuneless humming )

Hey!

Ah, Bender,this is a surprise...

for you, finding mein the refrigerator.

True, but at leastI don't have thehiccups anymore.

What up?

Oh, well, it so happens

I'm in the moodto make a deal with you.

Forget it; youcan't tempt me.

Really?

There's nothing you want?

Hmm. I forgot you could tempt mewith things I want.

Well, I supposeI've always wondered

what it would be liketo be more annoying.

( laughing ):Oh...

nothing simpler.

And all I ask in returnis your hands

to replace these bony hot dogs.

Grabby and Squeezy?

Never. I love these guys.

Oh! Well, is there anything elseyou would part with?

No, nothing;ain't going to happen.

Yes! With this built-instadium air horn

I can really annoy people

and all it cost mewas my crotch plate.

( band plays "Welcome to Robot Hell" )

( groans )

You hit a sour note about200 years back, Doug!

Let's take itfrom the top.

( grunting )

Ah, Bender, Fry!

You've come back for moreeternal damnation.

No, this isn'ta religious visit.

Fry just wants holophonorlessons.

Yep. I need to getreally good without practicing.

( fiendish laughter )

Hell is fullof 10-year-olds

who wanted exactlythe same thing!

Trouble is, you havewhat my old music teacher

Mrs. Mellinger,calls "Stupid Fingers."

With hands like that

you'll be luckyto master a belt buckle.

Now, wouldn't it be niceif you had a pair of robot hands

to replace them?

Sure would.

Oh, well.Good-bye.

Fry, you smelly idiot!

I think he's willingto make some kind

of a deal withthe Devil with you.

He-He is? Great!

Wait-- what's the catch?

No catch.

I'll merely picka robot at random

from somewherein the universe--

probably oneyou've never even met--

and then I'llremove his hands

and switch themfor yours.

It's just the sort of guy I am.

What do you say?

Um, I don't know.

It doesn't seementirely moral to...

Fry, if you don'ttake this offerright now

I will lose all respectfor you and punch you.

( fiendish chuckle )

Well... all right.

You're sure Iprobably won't know him?

Definitelyprobably not.

Just signthis contract...

Wow.

And here we go!

( cackling )

I got a hundred buckson Rectal-Exam-Bot!