80s Ladies

  • Season 3, Ep 6
  • 05/26/2015

Amy discovers the true meaning of the universe, rides a mechanical bull and defends Bill Cosby.

Mm-mm, no,I understand.

No, I'm resending the wholepacket in a ZIP file.

Hello?

Oh-- okay.

I am so overwhelmedby my job.

(high heeled footstepsapproaching)

('80s music playing)

Sounds like someoneneeds the '80s ladies.

♪ They're '80s ladieswalking with purpose ♪

♪ They're sexyand professional ♪

♪ '80s ladies

♪ They work in an officeand date Michael Douglas ♪

♪ Can women reallyhave it all ? ♪

♪ '80s ladies

♪ Feathered hairand leaving ♪

♪ Your baby withthree strange men ♪

♪ '80s ladies! ♪

No wonder you aren'tgetting any work done.

You don't have aproper phone.

Here, try this.

You can use it whileyou're sitting here

at the desk, or...

walk overto the window.

Better, right?

Want a smoke?You'll feel better.

Oh, no th...Yeah, why not?

Here's the numberfor my analyst.

He's very good.

And a total stud, too.

(women laugh)

Thanks, '80s ladies!

Oh, there's noarea code.

Screw it.

(all laugh)

My diaphragm itches.

♪ They're '80s ladieswalking with purpose ♪

♪ They only everwear lingerie ♪

♪ Even when they're home alone

♪ Sigourney Weaver! ♪

(woman)In conclusion...

the evidence clearlypoints to guilt.

The prosecution rests.

(TV sitcom theme music playing)

Whoo!(music stops)

That was already fun,wasn't it? Right?

Did everybody feelhappy just now?

You remember?

I know I did.

We've heard an awful lotfrom the prosecution

over the last few weeks,

about stuff that may

or may not have happened.

(scoffs)All these women.

Same story.Same facts.

(chuckles)Repetitive.

And how'd that feelto listen to?

Bleh, right?

But how do you feelwhen I play this?

("Dr. Huxtable") Theo, did you get your ear pierced?

("Theo") Uh, nope. So, I guess

you're just doing an amazing impression

of Swiss cheese?

(laughter)

Did anyone feelraped by that?

How 'bout drugged?

No?Me neither.

I felt comforted by afamiliar father figure.

Nostalgia.

Happiness.Laughter. Not guilty!

Let's break thisdown logically.

I am a good person.I like this good show.

Like, last time I checked,good plus good

did not equal guilty.

Objection, what didshe even check?

I just checked!

Defense is talking abouta TV show she likes.

I'm talking about abeloved show that we love.

Overruled.

I mean, I'm basically talkingabout Dr. Huxtable, right?

We are not!

I said "basically."

Overruled.

(scoffs)

Seems like we're gonnabe here a while

with all theseobjections.

Would anybody like...

a pudding pop?

(jurors gasp)Oh, wow.

Would you look at that?It's unanimous.

How could the face ofsuch a yummy treat

even do anything bad?

I mean, how wouldthat even work?

Objection!

Overruled.

(sighs)Delicious treat, right?

Cold though.

Look underyour seats.

What a fun snack.What a fun sweater.

Ladies and gentlemen,at this point,

Bill Cosby probably can'tget in any legal trouble.

That's not whatthis is about.

This is about usnot punishing ourselves

for loving great comedy.

This is a court ofpublic opinion, right?

Let's remind ourselveswhat's at stake here.

If convicted, the next timeyou put on a rerun

of "The Cosby Show,"you may wince a little.

You might feela little pang.

And none of usdeserve that.

We don't deserveto feel that pang.

We deserve to dance likeno one's watching.

And watch likeno one's raping.

The defense rests.

(judge)All right, I think,um, before we adjourn--

Uh, excuse me, I gota delivery for the jury.

Oh!It's from a B. Cosby.

You can put it right here.Nobody minds.

Oh, my God.It's chocolate cake.

Huh, do we all feel likegoing a little nuts right now?

I know I do.

(singing)♪ Cos is greatgive us chocolate cake, oh! ♪

(jurors sing along)♪ Cos is great

♪ We want chocolate cake

♪ Cos is greatgive us some chocolate cake ♪

♪ Cos is great...

Mrs. Schumer, Cosbywanted to thank you

for defending him.

(juror continue singing)♪ Give us chocolate cake

♪ Cos is greatgive us chocolate cake ♪♪