December 19, 2013 - Ben Stiller

  • 12/19/2013

Jamie Dimon flaunts his wealth with a decadent Christmas card, A&E suspends Phil Robertson for anti-gay remarks, and Ben Stiller talks "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT, THANK YOU FORJOINING US.

COME ON!

THAT'S RIGHT.

HO, HO, HO.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANK YOU LAZIES AND

GENTLEMEN, PLEASE, FOLKS, IGOT TO SAY, HEAR UG CHANT MY

NAME T SOUNDS LIKE THE ANGELCHIR CHOIRS OF BETHLEHEM.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS, IT'S JUSTA MAGICAL TIME OF YEAR.

BUT THANKS TO COMRADEDICKENS THE CHRISTMAS CAROL

SEIG HEIL, CHUCK.

THE CHRISTMAS SEASON ISALWAYS OPEN SEASON ON TITANS

OF FINANCE.

EBENEZER SCROOGE WAS A JOBCREATOR.

WHAT DID TINY TIM EVER MAKEOTHER THAN ME CRY.

WELL, THIS CHRISTMAS THEMEDIAN INCOME HUGGERS OUT

THERE ARE STILL PUSHINGBANKERS AROUND AND NO ONE IS

GETTING HID HARDER THAN MYBUDDY C.E.O. JAMIE DIMON.

FOR MORE WE GO TO NBC ANFOUR GRADER

TRICK-OR-TREATING RACHELMADDOW.

>> THE NEAREST AND DEERESTTO JAYIE DIMON THIS HOLIDAY

SEE BE, RECENTLY GRACED WITHTHIS PANORAMIC HOLIDAY CARD

IN YOUR MAIL BOX.

IT SHOWS THE FIRST FAMILY OFFINANCE HAVING A GREAT TIME

HITTING TENNIS BALLS INSIDEWHAT SEEMS TO BE THEIR HOME.

AND SAYS HEY, WE'RE SO RICHWE CAN DESTROY OUR OWN STUFF

WITH A SMILE.

>> Stephen: DISGUSTING.

CALF OR THING AROUND YOUROWN HOME WITH YOUR OWN

FAMILY?

AT CHRISTMASTIME.

COME ON.

I CONDITION THINK OFANYTHING MORE DECADENT

EXCEPT MAYBE MURDERING ATREE AND DRESSING IT UP LIKE

A WHORE.

NO WONDER, NOnd WITHOUTER,FOLKS, NO WONDER "TIME"

MAGAZINE CALLED THE CARDSMADDENINGLY TONE DEAF AND

ASK COULD YOU PICK A MOREELITIST SPORT?

YES, ELITIST, TEN SIS JUSTPOLO WITHOUT A HORSE THAT

CAN BE PLAYED IN A PUBLICPARK.

JAMIE DIE UPON FORGOT THEGOLDEN RULE OF 1 PERCENTERS,

THE 99ERS NEED TO PREVIOUSYOUR MONEY HAS MADE YOU

MISERABLE.

HIS CHRISTMAS CARD SHOULDHAVE BEEN HIM WEEPING ALONE

ON A PILE OF MONEY.

FOLKS, THIS IS WHY, THIS ISWHY, I DIDN'T MAIL OUT MY

CHRISTMAS CARD THIS YEAR.

IT'S A PICTURE OF MEWATER-SKIING THROUGH THE

KITCHEN HI BUILT OFF OF MYTWO CLOSETS.

FOLKS, I TELL YOU, THEYCRITICIZE BUT I NEED THAT

KEVIN.

THE SHERPAS WHO GUIDE ME TOMY SANDAL SHELF ARE HUNGRY.

SO AS MUCH AS I HATE TO DOIT, SHAME ON YOU JAMIE

DIMON.

AND NEWS MEDIA, YOU KEEPHOLDING THE BANKERS

ACCOUNTABLE FOR INSENSITIVECHRISTMAS CARDS BECAUSE I

HOPE WE CAN ALL AGREE

NATION, I LOVE-- (APPLAUSE)

YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I LOVECHRISTMAS.

IT'S SUCH A JOYFUL SEASON.

AND THAT JOY IS HARD ON FOXNEWS BECAUSE THEIR JOB IS TO

MAKE US SCARED AND ANDRY.

THAT'S WHY THIS TILE OF THEYEAR THEY BRING OUT THE BIG

GUNS LIKE FOX NEWSCONTRIBUTOR AND VANILLA

PUDDING SKIN-- TO GIVE YOUTHE GIFT OF ANXIETY.

SET THEM UP, DECEMBER.

>> CHRISTMAS MAY BE THESEASON FOR GIVING BUT IT'S

ALSO THE SEASON FOR SCAMMING,PETER JOHNSON, JR. IS HERE

TO WARN US ABOUT THE 12SCAMS OF CHRISTMAS.

>> YOU KNOW, STEVE, ON THE12th DAY OF CHRISTMAS, THE

SCAMMERS GAVE TO ME, 12REINDEER RIPPOFFS, 11 SANTA

SCAMMERS, 10 CHRISTMASCOUPON CONS, AND NINE STOLEN

GIFT CARDS.

>> Stephen: EVEN WORSEEVIDENTLY SOME SCAMMERS

STOLE THE TUNE FROM FIVEGOLDEN RINGS AND MARKED IT

UP TO NINE.

NOW FOLKS, FOLKS,JOHNSON, JR. PETER WENT ON

TO EXPLAIN THE SCAM.

>> LET'S GO THROUGH THE 12thBIG SCAMS OF CHRISTMAS.

NUMBER ONE, BOGGUSCHARITIES.

NUMBER TWO, MALLWEAR EHOLIDAY CARD.

NUMBER 8 SANTA'S SLAY SCAM,THE HOME ALONE SCAM.

>> SURE.

>> SENDING AN E-MAIL OR CALL,I'M STRANDED, PLEASE, I NEED,

SEND ME MONEY.

DON'T BE WIRING MONEY.

REINDEER RIPPOFF, VERYPERFORM.

BE CAREFUL ABOUT BUYING CHIAPETS ON-LINE, THE POOCH

MIGHT HAVE FLEES.

FINALLY, THE PENULTIMATEMISTLE TOE MADNESS BE DON'T

FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEBODYON-LINE.

THEY'RE TRYING TO BILK YOU.

>> Stephen: NOW THAT'S A LOTOF WARNINGS, SO LET'S

REVIEW.

YOUR STRANDED LOVED ONES AREALL LIARS [BLEEP] THEM.

IF YOU BUY A DOG ON-LINE, ITWILL HAVE FLEE, WHICH ARE

INCURABLE SO YOU HAVE TO PUTIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE KIDS,

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

AND FINALLY, FINALLY, THEPENULTIMATE, DON'T FALL IN

LOVE WITH SOMEBODY ON-LINE.

IT APPEARS TO HAVE HAPPENEDTO PETER JOHNSON, JR..

YOU KNOW HOW IT IS, YOU CHATWITH THE UKRAINIAN WOMAN

ON-LINE, BUY HER AN AIRLINETICKET TO VIT, YOU MARRY HER

AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOWHER BROTHER IS MOVING IN,

FOR SOME REASON HE'S THE ONEWITHOUT GETS TO SLEEP WITH

HER, OR SO I'VE BEEN TOLD.

I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU HECATERINA.

I AM THIS CLOSE TO CHANGETHE PIN ON MY BANK CARD.

NOW FOLKS, AFTER HEARINGTHAT LITTLE LIST OF SCAMS

THERE, I HOPE YOU'RE SOSCARED THAT YOU DROP THE

YULE LOG IN YOUR PANTS.

BUT JUNIOR JOHNSON PETERONLY SCRATCHED THE SURFACE

THERE ARE SO MANY MORE SCAMSTHAT HE LEFT OUT.

LIKE GIFT DRIFT, WHERE YOUBUY A PRESENT AND ARE YOU

EXPECTED TO GIVE THAT TOSEBLS.

HEY, I JUST PAID FOR THAT,WHY SHOULD I GIVE IT AWAY.

AND THE KNOCKOUT GAME WHEREA TEENAGER KNOCKS YOU OUT

WITH A FROZEN CARTON OF EGGNOTHING AND SPRINKLES YOU

WITH NUTMEG, IT'S SWEEPINGTHE COUNTRY, FOLKS.

-- PEOPLE ARE DOING IT.

KRINGLE KRUNCH THAT ONE ISSELF-EXPLANATORY, FROSTY

FROST, WHERE A SNOWMANSTEALS YOUR IDENTITY, THE

NEXT THING YOU KNOW HE'SSLEEPING WITH YOUR WIFE AND

YOUR KIDS ARE CALLING HIMDADDIE AND IT'S YOUR OWN

FAULT FOR BRINGING HIM TOLIFE WITH THAT MAGIC HAT,

DON'T DO IT.

AND FINALLY, SANTA CLAUS,HUGE SCAM.

NEVER ONCE DID HE BRINGGIFTS TO MY CHILDREN.

AND THEY'RE REALLY GOODGIFTS.

I MEAN THEY GIVE ME PRESENTSEVERY YEAR AND YET THEY GET

NOTHING.

I DON'T GET IT I DON'T GETIT.

HE BROUGHT ME PRESENTS WHENI WAS A KID.

WHY DID HE STOP?

SANTA CLAUS, LISTEN UP OLDMAN, I AM GIVING YOU ONE

MORE CHANCE, DO NOTDISAPPOINT MY CHILDREN THIS

CHRISTMAS.

BECAUSE I'VE GOT 18 YEARS 6MILK AND COOKIES ON MY

MANTLE

>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

NATION, THIS IS MY FINALSHOW BEFORE THE 2013

CELEBRATION OF CHRISTMAS.

WHICH OF COURSE I LOVE.

I ALSO LOVE THAT I WILL BELEAVING 2013 ON A SERIOUS

NOTE.

BECAUSE THE PC POLICE HAVEPULLED OVER YET ANOTHER

PATRIOT.

>> DUCK DYNASTY IS MAKINGHEADLINES FOR OFF CAMERA

DRAMA.

PHIL ROBERTSON, THE STAR OFTHE A & E HIT SHOW HAS BEEN

SUSPENDED INDEFINITELY FROMFILMING THE REALITY SHOW

AFTER MAKING CONTROVERSIALREMARKS.

>> Stephen: THIS IS ATERRIBLE DAY FOR AMERICANS.

SO ADMITTEDLY A PRETTY GOODDAY FOR DUCKS.

NOW JUST WHY DID A & E AXEHIM?

BECAUSE THIS GOOD CHRISTIANMAN SPOKE HIS MIND TO GQ

ABOUT THE GAYS SAYING ITSEEMS LIKE TO MEAN A VAGINA

AS A MAN WOULD BE MOREDESIRABLE THAN A MAN'S ANUS.

THAT'S JUST ME, I'M JUSTTHINKING, THERE'S MORE

THERE.

BUT HEY, IT'S NOT LOGICAL,MY MAN, START WITH

HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR ANDMORPH OUT FROM THERE,

BESTIALIT, NOW I'LL ADMIT, IWILL ADMIT, I WILL ADMIT

IT'S NOT ELOQUENT SPEECH YOUMIGHT EXPECT FROM A

BACKWOODS LOUISIANA BIRDMURDERERS, BUT HE DOES HAVE

A POINT.

THE VAGINA DOES HAVE MORETHERE I MEAN LET'S FACE T

IT'S A TRAIN WRECK, WHOKNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON WITH

THAT BUSINESS.

FANS RALLIED TO HIM.

WITH 55,000 SIGNING APETITION SAYING

MR. ROBERTSON'S COMMENTS IN"GQ" MAGAZINE ARE REFLECTIVE

OF A BIBLICAL VIEW OFSEXUALITY, MARRIAGE AND

FAMILY.

YEAH, IT'S RIGHT THERE INTHE BIBLE.

MAN SHALL NOT LIVE BY BREADALONE BECAUSE WITH THE

VAGINA THERE'S MORE THERE.

(LAUGHTER)FOLKS, FOLKS, TONIGHT -- --

(LAUGHTER)FOLKS, FOLKS, TONIGHT -- --

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

TOJT TONIGHT WE ARE ALL PHILROBERTSON.

PHIL HAS TAUGHT US SO MUCHLIKE THIS LITTLE BIT OF

ETERNAL WISDOM.

>> IF YOU CATCH SQUIRRELSFOR YOUR WALLET-- YOUR WOMAN

WILL NEVER CUT YOU OFF INBED.

>> Stephen: AND IF SHE DOES,HEY, YOU STILL GOT THE

SQUIRRELS.

AND IT'S NOT LIKE HE SINGLEDOUT HOMOSEXUALS.

HE ALSO WAXD NOSTALGIA-- NOSTALGIC FOR

THE JIM CROW ERA, HE SAID IHAVE NEVER IN MY SIGH EYES

SEEN ANY MISDREAM OF BLACKS.

THEY ARE SING AND HAPPY, INEVER HEARD ONE, THESE

DOGGONE WHITE PEOPLE, NOT AWORD.

FREE ENTITLE THEMENT, THEYWERE GODLY, THEY WERE HAPPY

NO ONE WAS SING THE BLUES.

YES, BUT PEOPLE HAD NOTHINGTO SING THE BLUES ABOUT, FOR

PETE'S SAKE, THEY GOT THEIROWN WATER FOUNTAIN.

IN FACT, THEY HAD IT SO GOODWHITE PEOPLE PRETENDED TO BE

THEM.

I TELL YOU, WHO I KNEELSORRY FOR, FOLKS, A & EW

THIS CONTROVERSY, THEY MAYHAVE JUST LOST DUCK

DYNASTY'S MASSIVE BLACK ANDGAY AUDIENCE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY, YOU MIGHT KNOW MY

GUEST, HE IS THE STAR OF THESECRET LIFE OF WALTER HITTY,

PLEASE WELCOME BEN STILLER.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WHOOO!

HEY, BEN, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HEY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

GOOD TO SEE YOU, SO FLISNICE TO MEET YOU

FACE-TO-FACE.

>> I KNOW, HOW ARE YOU.

>> Stephen: I'M GREAT, HOWARE YOU.

>> I'M DOING WELL.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE THAT GUYI LIKE.

>> OH, GOOD.

>> Stephen: I LOVE YOURMOVIES, MAN.

>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: I LOVE YOURMOVIE, I LOVE NEW THOSE

MOVIES.

>> YEAH, WELL I TEND TO BEIN THE MOVIES THAT I'M IN,

SO.

>> Stephen: BUT I LIKE NEWTHOSE MOVIES.

>> I TEN TO BE IN THE MOVIESTHAT YOU LIKE THAT I AM IN.

>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND.

BUT HERE IS WHAT I DON'T GETABOUT ACTORS, DOES THAT MEAN

I LIKE YOU?

>> I DONE KNOW.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

SOMETHING ABOUT MARRY,TROPIC THUNDER, OKAY.

>> THOSE ARE THE TWO.

>> Stephen: NOW, BUT RIGHTUP THERE, MAN, RIGHT UP

THERE.

BUT NOW YOU'VE GOT THISSECRET LIFE OF WALTER HITTY.

>> THAT'S RIGHT, YES.

>> Stephen: THIS IS ABEAUTIFUL MOVIE.

>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: A LITTLE CLIPHERE.

>> LET'S SEE, I BATHED INARCTIC MOUNTAIN WATER.

>> I'M WALTER HITTY.

>> CHERYL, MILLHOFF.

>> WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN.

>> TESTING THE LIMITS OF THEHUMAN EXPERIENCE.

>> PERHAPS I CAN CONTACT YOU,POSSIBLY THROUGH MY-- POETRY

FALCON.

>> POETRY FALCON, I LIKETHAT

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: YEAH, THOSE GUYS

A MOUNTAIN CLIMBER.

>> NO, NO HE IS MANAGINGTHAT, WALTER HAS, YOU KNOW,

HE IS A DAY DREAMER SOWLIVES IN HIS HEAD.

HE HAS THIS INCREDIBLEPOTENTIAL INSIDE OF HIM TO

BE ALL OF THESE THINGS BUTIN REAL LIFE HE CAN'T

REALIZE THAT.

IT IS ALL ABOUT THEPOTENTIAL THAT WE HAVE

INSIDE OF US AND WHO WE CANBE AND BEING THE BEST

POSSIBLE VERSION OF OURSELVEIT IS SOMETHING THAT I THINK

IS UNIVERSALLY RELATABLE,THAT BEING.

>> Stephen: I DIDN'T GET IT.

>> WELL, HE KEEPS ON, HE ISA SCULPTURE, A MOUNTAIN

CLIMBER AT ONE POINT AND ONEPOINT HE IS A LITTLE OLD MAN,

ANOTHER ONE -->> EXACTLY.

>> Stephen: A WHICH OF THOSEIS THE REAL WALTER HITTY.

>> WELL, THEY'RE ALL ASPECTSOF HIS PERSONALITY.

THEY'RE ALL PART OF WHO HEIS.

IT IS THE SAME WAY YOU OR IHAVE SO MANY DIFFERENT

ASPECTS TO WHO WE ARE.

I'M SURE HAVE A LOT OFDIFFERENT DIMENSIONS INSIDE.

>> Stephen: SOMETIMES I WEARA TIE, SOMETIMES I DON'T.

>> YES, RIGHT SO, IF YOUWERE IN WALTER HITTY ONE OF

YOUR CHARACTERS YOU WOULD BEWEARING A TIE AND THE OTHER

ONE YOU WOULDN'T.

>> Stephen: RIGHT.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: DON'T ACTORSJUST IMAGINE THAT THEY ARE

SOMEONE ELSE, ARE YOU WALTERHITTY?

>> I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUARE SAYING TO ME, WHAT?

>> Stephen: ARE YOU WALTERHITTY, IS BEN STILLER WALTER

HITTY.

>> YEAH, SURE THERE AREPARTS OF ME I CAN RELATE TO

IN THE CHARACTER.

>> Stephen: DON'T YELL AT ME,DON'T YELL AT ME, I'M ASKING

YOU A QUESTION.

>> SORRY, SORRY.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, WHATI WANT TO KNOW IS --

>> I'M-- I DIDN'T GET YOURYOUR FILM, I DIDN'T

GET-- CARDS ON THE TABLE,I'M NOT ONE OF THESE

HOLLYWOOD ELITISTS WHOUNDERSTAND FILMS LIKE

SOMETHING ABOUT MARY ORTROPIC THUNDER OR THIS ONE.

>> I GET IT.

>> Stephen: I DON'T GET ARTFILM.

>> YOU DON'T GO FOR THE HIGHFALL OUTIN.

>> Stephen: I DON'T GO FORTHAT.

-- DOES THINGS THAT AREREAL.

>> HE ENGAGES IN REAL LIFE.

>> Stephen: HE ACTUALLY DOESTHINGS LATER.

>> HE DOES REAL THINGS,THINGS THAT HE IMAGINED

DOING AND HE HAS TO STEPINTO REALITY, AND KIND OF

SEIZE THE MOMENT AND GO ANDLIVE HIS LIFE FOR REAL.

>> Stephen: WHICH ONE OFTHOSE IS BETTER.

>> WELL, REAL LIFE, I THINK,YOU KNOW, IS A GOOD THING.

AND HAVING AN IMAGINATION ISA GOOD THING ALSO.

I THINK BOTH ARE ASPECTS,YOUR IMAGINATION, YOUR DAY

DREAMS CAN FUEL YOUR REALLIFE AND GET TO YOU DO

THINGS THAT YOU WOULDN'TNECESSARILY DO, IF YOU

DIDN'T HAVE THAT IMAGINATION.

>> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY.

SO IMAGINATION IS GOOD.

AND REAL LIFE IS GOOD.

>> YESING EXACTLY.

BOTH ARE OKAY.

>> Stephen: DO HE MAKES NOJOURNEY-- HE'S MANAGING

THINGS AN IT'S GOOD ANDLATER IT DOES REAL THINGS

THAT ARE GOOD SO HE DOESN'TGET ANY BETTER OR WORSE

THROUGHOUT THE FILM.

>> DID YOU ACTUALLY SEE THEMOVIE.

>> Stephen: I DID SEE ITSMOVIE, I DIDN'TEE IT SHALL

DID -- I SAW IT OUT OFORDER.

>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: I SAW ITBENJAMIN BUTTON STYLE.

>> RIGHT, RIGHT, EXACTLY.

>> Stephen: THAT IS ONE OFMY FAVORITE SKEERNTION

SPOILER ALERT, I DON'T WANTTO SPOIL ANYTHING THAT IS

ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS INTHE MOVIES.

>> NO, NO IT'S ALL ABOUTBECOMING WHO, YOU KNOW, THE

BEST POSSIBLE VERSION OFYOURSELF, I GUESS OR BEING

WHO YOU WANT TO BE.

>> Stephen: IS THIS THE BESTPOSSIBLE VERSION OF YOU, BEN

STILLER.

>> UNFORTUNATELY, AT THISMOMENT, YES.

>> Stephen: AS GOOD AS ITGETS.

>> YES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, NOW

LET'S TALK ABOUT THEELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

THIS THING OPENS ONCHRISTMAS DAY.

>> YES T IS.

>> Stephen: THAT ISBALANCESY, MY MAN.

THAT'S BALANCESY, YOU ARESAYING TO A CHRISTIAN NATION,

DON'T BE WITH YOUR FAMILY ONCHRISTMAS DAY, COME SEE MY

MOVIE.

>> YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW-- .

>> Stephen: TO HELL WITHJESUS.

>> I WANTED FIRST NIGHT OFHANUKKAH AS THE OPENING AND

IT WAS NOT AVAILABLE.

>> Stephen: THEY DIDN'T GOFOR IT.

>> YOUR DAD, JERRY STILLERGAVE US FESTIVUS.

>> YES, HE DID.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> YEAH.

I GREW UP IN A HOUSE WITH MYMOM IRISH CATHOLIC AND MY

DAD JEWISH SO WE HADHANUKKAH AND WE HAD

CHRISTMAS, WE HAD IT ALL.

>> Stephen: CELEBRATEDCHRISTMAS AS WELL.

>> MERRY CHRISTMAS.

>> THANK YOU, WE HAD THETREE, WE DIDN'T GET ULTRA

RELIGIOUS ABOUT IT.

>> Stephen: AND YOU MIGHTWANT TO SAY.

>> HAPPY HANUKKAH, MERRYCHRISTMAS, I LOVE CHRISTMAS,

IT'S THE SEASON, IT'S GIVING,IT'S WARMTH, IT'S GENEROSITY,

IT'S APPRECIATING WHAT WEHAVE.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

WELL, THANK YOU FOR THE GIFTYOU'VE GIVEN ALL OF US ON

CHRISTMAS DAY.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: A WAY TO GETAWAY FROM OUR FAMILY.

>> EXACTLY.

GO PLAY GOLF FOR FIVE HOURSAND COMPLETE THIS DEAL.

>> Stephen: I'M PLAYING GOLFUP HERE RIGHT NOW.

I'M ON THE 8th HOLE OFPEBBLE BEACH.

>> I HAVE BEEN PLAYINGTENNIS FOR THE LAST 15

SECONDS IN MY HEAD.

>> Stephen: HOW ARE YOUDOING.

>> WONDERFUL, I JUST ASDYOU.

>> Stephen: REALLY?

YOU ARE SUCH AN ELITIST.

BEN STILLER, THANK YOU SOMUCH.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: THE SECRET LIFE

OF WALTER HITTY, CHRISTMASDAY.

BEN STILLER, WE'LL BE RIGH