Kangamangus

  • Season 2, Ep 15
  • 12/04/2008

Sarah tries to popularize her slang word "ozay," but Brian's "dot-nose" takes off first.

(Sarah)HI, I'M SARAH,

AND THESE AREMY BIG, ORANGE FRIENDS.

THIS IS MY SISTER.

SHE LOVES TO PAY MY RENT.

AND THIS IS JAY.

OH, HE'S A GENIUS.

JUST LISTEN TO HIM TALK.

(Jay)I'D LIKE THE POWEROF EXTREME STRENGTH.

LIKE, TEN MEN.

BEING ABLETO STRETCH YOUR ARMS

REALLY LONG TO GRAB SOMEONE.

BUT IF I COULD FLY,

THEN I WOULD FLYTO THE NEAREST MOVIE THEATER

PLAYING THE LEGEND OF BAGGAR VANCE.

IT'S REALLY MY FAVORITE.

TAUGHT MEWHAT MAGIC REALLY IS.

[indistinct chatter]

HEY, BARDO,HOW YOU DOIN', BABY?

COME ON--YEAH, GOOD.

I NEED TWO BABIES WITH ME.

HUGE BABIES WITH ME.

YOU GO HEREAND YOU GO RIGHT UP.

ONE BABY OVER HERE.

AND ONE BABY OVER HERE.

WHO'S THAT?

THAT'S JOHNNIE FORREALZ.

PSHH.

WHAT'S SO GREATABOUT HIM?

HE INVENTEDTHE WORD "BOO-YAH".

WHAT?

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY.

I LO--YOU KNOW I LOVETHE WORD "BOO-YAH".

I KNOW.BOO-YAH.

I KNOW.

[whispering]I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S RIGHT HERE.

YOU SHOULD GO OVER THEREAND INTRODUCE YOURSELF.

HMM, NO WAY.

NO, BECAUSEHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE

VERY APPROACHABLE.

SO WHAT I WAS TALKIN'BEFORE ABOUT WAS--

IS A DICTIONARY, YOU KNOW?

SOMETHIN'--SOMETHIN' BIG.

SOMETHIN' YOU CAN REALLY--

UH, MR. FORREALZ,UM, MY NAME IS SARAH.

WELL, HI, SARAH.

IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

MY NAME IS, UH, JOHNNIE.

OH.

HI.

I JUST WANTEDTO SAY THAT I, UM...

"BOO-YAH" IS MY FAVORITE WORD.

OH.

LIKE, EVER.

I MEAN, WITHOUT BOO-YAHI'D BE SAYING, LIKE, UH,

"HOORAY",

OR, LIKE, "YIPPEE" OR SOMETHING.

OKAY, SARAH,

STOP TALKING.

YOU'RE SOUNDINGLIKE AN IDIOT.

(JOHNNIE) NO, NOT AT ALL.

YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT AT ALL.

LANGUAGE IS VERY POWERFUL.

CHANGES THE WORLD.

CHANGES...YOUR MIND.

I MEAN, WHO KNOWS?

MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU COULD CREATEYOU OWN SPECIAL WORD, HUH?

ANYWAY, IT'S NICETO SEE YOU, SARAH.

LOOK, WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT BEFORE

WAS--WAS A BOOK.

I'M GONNA MAKE UP A WORD.

THAT IS A GREAT IDEA.

YOU WOULD BE SO GOOD AT THAT.

JAY, DON'T YOU THINK SHE WOULD BE SO GOOD AT THAT?

NO, I DON'T THINK SO,ALL RIGHT?

I THINKTHE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

IS FINE THE WAY IT IS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

I THOUGHT IT WOULD JUST BE ANICE WAY FOR SARAH

TO BE CREATIVE.

YES, AND I'M GONNASTART RIGHT NOW.

BECAUSE, JAY, YOU CAN EATMY..."FLEECIES".

THAT'S STUPID, NO.

YOU, YOU'RE A--

JAY, YOU'RE A"DOUCHE...WIBBLER".

WAIT, I'M WARMING UP.

WITH MY TIME HERE ON EARTH.

YOU KNOW, THINK ABOUTTHE LIVES I CAN TOUCH

BY INVENTING A GREAT WORD.

HAVE YOU THOUGHTABOUT WHAT KIND OF WORD

YOU'D LIKETO COME UP WITH?

NOT REALLY.

I MEAN, EVERY TIMEI COME UP WITH SOMETHING

THERE'S ALREADY A WORD.

[sighs]THEY DO HAVE TONS OF WORDS NOW.

[gasps]

HOW ABOUT A WORD FORTHE FEELING THAT YOU GET

WHEN YOU'VE BEENSKIING ALL DAY

AND YOU TAKE YOUR BOOTS OFF?

YOU MEAN, "AHH"?

THAT'S BEEN DONE.

OH, LIKE, WHEN YOU FALL SO SUDDENLY

THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TIMETO PUT YOUR HANDS OUT

IN FRONT OF YOU.

LAURA, "FACEPLANT",THAT'S BEEN DONE.

UGH.

AHH--UH.[shivers]

NO.NO, WHAT, WHAT?

WELL, IT'S JUST-- IT'S JUST--

SOMETIMES WHEN OLDER,MORE HEAVY SET

WOMEN COME INTO THE HOSPITAL I JUST--

I WISH THERE WAS A WORDTO DESCRIBE THEIR...

VAGINAS.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?"FLAPPITY".

THAT'S BEEN DONE, LAURA.

EVERYTHING'S BEEN DONE.

[new wave music]

♪ WHY LIVE?THAT'S BEEN DONE ♪

♪ WHY DIE?THAT'S BEEN DONE ♪

♪ WHY LAUGH?THAT'S BEEN DONE ♪

♪ WHY TALK? THAT'S BEEN DONE ♪

♪ WHY EAT PEPPERMINT?THAT'S BEEN DONE ♪

[soft pop music]

♪ EVERY TIME I THINKOF THINGS THAT HAPPENED ♪

♪ DONE OR NOT DONE

♪ IT MAKES ME FEEL DISCOURAGED

♪ AND I WONDER

[new wave music]

♪ WHY THINK?THAT'S BEEN DONE ♪

♪ WHY SMELL EGGS?THAT'S BEEN DONE ♪

♪ WHY BREATHE?THAT'S BEEN DONE ♪

♪ WHY

♪ SING? ♪

SARAH, WHY AREYOU BEING SO--

SO WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW,JUST YOUR ATTITUDE.

IT'S, LIKE, IT'S NOT LAME

BUT JUST SO--

COOL.

PSYCHE!

T-M-I.

DUDE!

FACE!

THESE ARE WORDS WE ALL SAY

EVERY SINGLE DAY.

SQUEAK A HENRY.

TALK TO THE HAND.

CHILLAX.

OZAY.

WHAT'S THAT?

YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF OZAY?

HMM, MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE

I JUST MADE IT UP.

CONGRATULATIONS, EVERYBODY.

YOU ARE WITNESS TO HISTORYIN THE MAKING TODAY

BECAUSE OZAY IS GONNABE THE GREATEST THING

SINCE SAYING "THE GREATESTTHING SINCE SLICED BREAD."

"SHE SAID THAT TO YOU?

"OZAY!

"HOW MUCH DID THAT COST?

"OZAY.

"THE WAITRESS FORGOTTO BRING YOUR BACON?

OZAY!"

THANK YOU.

[chuckling]

I HAVE A NEW WORD TOO.

DOT-NOSE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

OH, YOU KNOW.

IT'S WHEN SOMETHING'SSUPER OBVIOUS

IT'S JUST DOT-NOSE.

(Laura) I DON'T UNDER--

OH, OH, LIKE,WHEN SOMETHING'S WRITTEN

ALL OVER YOUR FACE IT'S A TOTAL DOT-NOSE SITUATION?

(Brian) YEAH.

THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THINGI'VE EVER HEARD.

CAREFUL, STEVE,YOU'RE BEIN' A REAL DOT-NOSE.

[chuckling]"DOT-NOSE", GOOD WORD, BRIAN.

[laughing]

OZAY.

ANYWAY, I GUESS I BETTERGET THE WORD OUT.

OH.

SARAH CREATING A NEW WORD.

FIRST TIME IN 30 YEARS SHE'SDOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE.

THIS COULD BE HERLAST CHANCE.

OZAY IS NOT A WORD!

IT IS SLANG, LAURA!

[sighs]

SLANG IS DESTROYINGOUR SOCIETY.

I'M A COP.

I SEE IT ON THE STREETSEVERY DAY.

SLANG TURNS DANGEROUSCHEMICALS INTO FUN WORDS

LIKE, "ROCK", "MARY JANE".

SLANG TAKES YOUNG,INNOCENT GIRLS

AND TURNS THEMINTO "BITCHES" AND "HOES".

YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

OH, WHAT ABOUT THE WORD"RIDONKULOUS"?

OH, "RIDONKULOUS" IS COOL.

I LIKE THAT BUTTHE REST IS POISON.

OH, JAY.

WOW, $4 FOR AA BATTERIES.

IT'S LIKE NOW YOU HAVE TOBE RICH TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

[register opening]

(Brian) CAREFUL, BUDDY.

NO NEED TO GETALL DOT-NOSE.

EXCUSE ME, SIR,YOU HAVE A DOT ON YOUR NOSE.

[chuckling]

WHAT, ARE WE IN THIRD GRADE?

I'M NOT GONNA LOOK.

NO, SIR, YOU HAVEAN ACTUAL DOT ON YOUR NOSE.

[laughing hysterically]

YOU ARE AN IDIOT!

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'THAVE TO BE A JERK ABOUT IT.

I WAS JUST TRYIN' TO HELP.

YOU HAVE A DOT

ON YOUR NOSE, DICK!

OH, OH, THIS IS A TOTAL

DOT-NOSE SITUATION.

RIGHT?

I GUESS IT IS.

I MEAN THIS IS A CLASSICDOT-NOSE SCENARIO.

I DON'T SEE HOW IT COULD GET ANYMORE DOT-NOSE.

[laughing]NO!

IT COULDN'T!

THAT'S WHAT'S SO AMAZINGABOUT IT.

I LOVE WHEN YOU GUYSCOME IN THE STORE.

[laughing hysterically]

(Jay) SARAH, THIS IS TOOKIE.

TOOKIE, SARAH.

LISTEN, I THINK YOU GUYSSHOULD HAVE

A LITTLE CHAT TOGETHER.

I'M THINKING THAT PERHAPS YOU COULD LEARN A FEW THINGS

FROM EACH OTHER.

SANCHEZ, LET'S GO.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I GOT SHOT.

WITH A GUN?

YEAH, I TOLD SOMEPUNK-ASS BITCH HE WAS OZAY.

[gasps]

OH, MY.

OH, MY GOD.

IT'S CATCHING ON.

WHERE DID YOU FIRSTHEAR "OZAY"?

LIKE, WHAT'S YOUREXPERIENCE WITH "OZAY"?

DID YOU COME BY MY BOOTH?

WHAT CAUSED YOU TO SAY THE WORD?

WHAT CAUSED ME?

BITCH CALLED ME "DOT-NOSE".

YOU DON'T CALL PEOPLE "DOT--

NO ONE CALLS ME "DOT-NOSE"!

REALLY?

UGH, I HATE "DOT-NOSE"!

MY STUPID, EX-FRIEND

BRIAN INVENTED THAT WORD.

IT'S THE MOST OFFENSIVE WORDI EVER HEARD.

UGH.

WAIT.

I MEAN, REALLY?

IT'S THE MOSTOFFENSIVE WORD YOU

HAVE EVER HEARD?

YEAH.

AND YOU CAN'T THINKOF ANYTHING ELSE

THAT MIGHT BE MAYBETO YOU MORE HURTFUL?

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING.

LET'S TAKE FIVE SECONDS

AND JUST OPEN OUR MINDS

AND REALLY THINK ABOUT WHATIS THE MOST OFFENSIVE WORD

TO, SAY, A YOU.

I'M REPEATING ITIN MY HEAD LIKE CRAZY.

I GOT NOTHIN'.

"DOT-NOSE".

AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S EVENWORSE ABOUT "DOT-NOSE"?

THEY ARE HONORING BRIAN TONIGHTFOR INVENTING "DOT-NOSE".

YEAH, I KNOW.

MY HOMIE TRICKY-D GONNA PUT THEKANGAMANGUS ON THAT BITCH.

"KANGAMANGUS"?

YEAH, KANGA--WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF?

I WISH I WAS DEAF.

ALL RIGHT, KEEP GETTIN' OZAY

OUT THERE, FRIEND.

MAYBE WE'LL HAVE OUR DAYIN THE SUN AFTER ALL, RIGHT?

GOOD ONE.

[chuckling]I KNOW.

(Ashley) WHICH IS A JOKE THAT I TELL

IN THE U.K. AND IT GOES DOWN AMAZINGLY.

ANYWAY, NOW WITHOUTFURTHER DELAY,

AND TO ACCEPT HIS AWARD,AND TO OFFICIALLY

INDUCT THE WORD "DOT-NOSE"

INTO THE OXFORD ENGLISHDICTIONARY, IT'S MY HONOR

TO WELCOME MR. BRIAN SPUKOWSKI.

[applause]

THANK YOU.

[Brian laughing hysterically]

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