A Bicyclops Built for Two

  • Season 2, Ep 9
  • 01/08/2008

Leela thinks she's found the last of her species when she meets another cyclops.

WELL, THANKS TO THE INTERNET,I'M NOW BORED WITH SEX.

IS THERE A PLACE ON THE WEB THATPANDERS TO MY LUST FOR VIOLENCE?

IS THE SPACE POPE REPTILIAN?

Hermes:GET READY FOR FUN, FRY.

NOWADAYS WE HAVE A TYPE OF GAMEPLAYED ENTIRELY ON VIDEO.

Leela:WE CALL IT A VIDEO GAME.

A VIDEO GAME, YOU SAY?

WELL, GOLLY GEE.

YOU MIGHTY SPACEMENOF THE FUTURE

WILL HAVE TO SHOWME HOW IT WORKS.

( beeps )

( laughing )

( gasps )

( groans )

( gasps )

( grunts )

( evil laughter )

THE DOCTOR IS IN.

THE DOCTOR IS OUT.

EVERYONE, PLEASESIGN OFF.

WE HAVE A DELIVERY.

PLUS I HAVE TO USETHE PHONE TO...

( laughing )

( grunting )

( grunting )

LEELA, PLEASE TELLTHE OTHERS THAT...

( screaming )

WHOA.

( groaning )

( screams )

( sighs )

OUR PEOPLE WERE HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS,

BUT THE EYELESS MOLE PEOPLE OF SUBTERRA THREE

GREW JEALOUS OF OUR VISUAL PROWESS.

THEY FIRED MISSILES IN ALL DIRECTIONS

HOPING TO HIT CYCLOPIA.

UNFORTUNATELY, ONE OF THE 40 PLANETS HIT WAS OURS.

HOW FAR AWAYDO YOU THINK IT IS?

A TRILLION MILES?

Alkazar: THINGS GOT HOT.

YOU LOOK A LITTLEHOT, ACTUALLY.

YOU COULD TAKEOFF THAT JACKET.

OUR PEOPLE DON'TLIKE TO BE HOT.

ANYWAY, JUSTBEFORE THE IMPACT

OUR SMARTEST SCIENTIST MANAGED TO SAVE ONE BABY.

( crying )

ALKAZAR,I USED TO BE A BABY.

IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ME.

Alkazar: FORTUNATELY, I WAS EMPLOYED AS A POOL CLEANER AT THE TIME.

AND WHEN I EMERGED FROM RETRIEVING A DEAD POSSUM,

I FOUND I WAS THE ONLY ONE LEFT.

( anguished cry )

IT'S SO TRAGIC.

YES, BUT THEREAL TRAGEDY

IS THAT OUR RACEENDS WITH US.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU'RE A MALE.

AND I'M A FEMALE.

I'M STILL NOT FOLLOWING YOU.

( smooching sounds and moaning )

WAKE UP, MY KING.

( grunting, hacking and spitting )

OH, GEEZ, WHAT A NIGHT.

MAKE ME SOME COFFEE,WOULD YA?

UH, SURE. OKAY.

WHAT DO YOUTAKE WITH THAT?

PANCAKES AND SAUSAGE.

KITCHEN'S IN THE BASEMENT;PANS ARE IN THE ATTIC.

MAYBE AFTER BREAKFAST,

WE CAN TALK ABOUTREBUILDING OUR CIVILIZATION.

( snoring )