Sex Addict Wendell

  • Season 4, Ep 10
  • 12/03/2014

Wendell attends a support group for sex addicts, a teacher has trouble calming down a class clown, and two jazz musicians have a scat battle.

AND AS USUALI DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME.

I'M TRYING TO GET DRESSEDQUICKLY AND GET OUT OF THERE

BEFORE HE WAKES UP,

BUT I CAN'T FIND MY UNDERWEAR.

I LOOK EVERYWHERE,BUT I JUST CAN'T FIND THEM,

AND THEN IT HITS ME.

I HAD LEFT THEM AT ANOTHER GUY'SAPARTMENT EARLIER THAT NIGHT,

AND THAT'S WHEN I KNEWI HAD A PROBLEM.

- THANKS FOR SHARING, SCOTTY.

WELL, I NOTICE A LOTOF NEW FACES THIS EVENING,

AND I'M SO GLAD YOU ALL CAME,

AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THATTHIS IS A SAFE PLACE TO SHARE.

SO IF YOU WANT TO TELL USYOUR STORY,

THERE'LL BE NO JUDGMENT.

- SURE, I'LL GO.

HI, Y'ALL.

NAME'S WENDELL,

AND I AM IN FACTA SEXUAL ADDICT.

all: HI, WENDELL.

- AND WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE,WENDELL?

- WELL, YOU KNOW, MY LIFE,

SEXUALLY SPEAKING, IS CRAZY,

AND I JUST WANT TO FIND

ONE SINGLE SOLITARY PERSON

TO SPEND THE RESTOF MY LIFE WITH.

JUST ONE, JUST ONE.

- SO DO YOU FEEL LIKEYOUR ADDICTION IS

TOO MUCH TO HANDLE RIGHT NOW?

- DUH.

I MEAN, IT'S BEEN CRAZY, Y'ALL.

WITH ME, THE NASTIERTHE BETTER.

I'M A DIRTY DOG.

TRY EVERYTHING, ALL THE FIXINGS.

TANTRIC, MUCH LIKE STING.

ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES.

YOU NAME IT, I'VE DONST IT.

- AND WHEN WOULD YOU SAYYOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM, WENDELL?

- WHEN IT GOT SLIPPERYOUTSIDE MY SHOWER,

ON THE FLOOROUTSIDE MY SHOWER.

OH.

I HIT ROCK BOTTOM SEXUALLY--

OH, IT WAS PROBABLY LAST NIGHT,LAST NIGHT.

- DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULDTELL US WHAT HAPPENED, WENDELL?

- YEAH, LET'S SEE.

IT WAS JUST LIKEANY OTHER NIGHT.

I HAD ORDERED A LARGE PIE,

PEPPERONI,PINEAPPLE, CHEESY CRUST,

SOME CHEESY BREAD ON THE SIDE.

CUT TO 30 "MIN" LATER,

PIZZA PARLOR SENT OVER ADELICIOUS LADY DELIVERY PERSON.

BODY TEN, FACE TEN.

THAT'S MY WEAKNESS.

SO I INVITED HER INSIDE,OPENED UP THE BOX.

IT WAS HOT.

DEVOURED THE FIRST SLICELICKETY-SPLIT, CRUST FIRST.

SECOND SLICEDIDN'T STAND A CHANCE.

ATE THE TIP OF THAT BITCH FIRST,

WASHED IT DOWN WITH A POP.

THEN I GOT NASTYWITH THE CHEESY BREAD.

MY HEART STARTED POUNDING HARDERTHAN USUAL, KER-SLUNK,

KER-SLUNK.

MOVED ON TO THE THIRD SLICE--- WHAT--

WHAT--WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL?

- WHAT GIRL?OH, THE GIRL.

YEAH, SHE WAS THERE TOO.

I INVITED HER INTO MY BOUDOIR,AKA "THE STABBIN' CABIN."

WE DISROBED ONE ANOTHER.

I TOUCHED HER ON HER GENITALIA.

SHE TOUCHED ME ON MY MAN-ITALIA,AND THAT'S WHEN I HIT IT.

SEXUALLY, OF COURSE,

UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS,ALL AROUND THE TOWN STAIRS,

AS YOU DO,

AND BY THENIT WAS JUST ANOTHER NIGHT,

AND I MEAN OIL EVERYWHERE,AND...

SAUCE ALL OVER ME.

- S-SAUCE?

- OH, YEAH,THAT'S MY WORD FOR...

EJACULATE.

ANYHOO, I'M SO DISTRAUGHTBECAUSE I FEEL VULNERABLE,

AND I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST FEEL LIKE ANYONE

COULD TAKE ADVANTAGEOF ME RIGHT NOW,

A-NY-ONE.

'KAY, LET'S SEE WHAT THE BLONDESHAVE TO SAY FIRST.

- WELL, THANK YOU, WENDELL.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING.IT'S ACTUALLY OUR TIME TODAY.

- AND NOW...

FOR THE SCAT STYLINGS OFREX "THE BONE DADDY" RONSON

AND TEDDY "12 COMBS" LEWIS.

both: ♪ ZOO DO DWEEPBODO DWAPE, ZOODO DWEEP ♪

♪ ZODO BA DATIN WOP WOPWA WOP WOW ♪

- ♪ BUTT, BUTT, BUTT,BUTT, BUTT, BUTT, BUTT, BUTT ♪

♪ HOPPY GEEBO DERPA DAY

♪ YOUR BREATH SMELLSLIKE A BUTT ♪

♪ YOUR BOP BOP, BOOTY BOP

♪ YOUR WHOLE MOUTH SMELLS LIKEAN OPEN ASS ♪

♪ BUTT, POOP, POO

- ♪ WAY WE VWEE VWAY,FAT, FAT, WAT DWAY ♪

♪ FATTY USED TO CHEWBY DOOYOU'RE FAT ♪

♪ YOU'RE A FAT, FAT FAT, FAY, FAY, BA BOO FATTY ♪

♪ FAH BOO BAH, FE, FI, FO FUM

♪ WHAT DO I SMELLBUT SOME FAT NEXT TO ME ♪

♪ THAT'S THE MAN, FATTY MM

♪ POTTY FOO FAY FE, FO, FAT

- ♪ HIDDLE BIT LITTLE BITDIBBIDY DOBBIDY DOO LA LA DA ♪

♪ TEENILY WEENILY HODDILYHIDDILY LITTLA BITTLA ♪

♪ BABY PENIS

- ♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT

♪ SUCK IT AND SUCK ITAND SUCK IT ♪

♪ AND SUCK ITAND SUCK IT AND SUCK IT ♪

♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT

♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK ITFEEL FREE TO SUCK IT ♪

♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK ITYOU CAN SUCK IT ♪

♪ AND PUT IT ININ YOUR MOUTH ♪

- ♪ STOP, MOP

♪ YOUR FACE, YOUR FACE,YOUR FACE ♪

♪ LOOKS LIKE A BALL SACK

♪ NO WRINKLE DINKLE DOOSSTICKY DOOP ♪

♪ BA DEE DO, WRINKLEDINKLE DEE DEE BALL SACK ♪

- [scatting]

♪ TELLENUM, TELLENUM, TEN OH,TEN, YOU A TAINT, YOU A TAINT ♪

♪ YOU'RE A TAINTYOU'RE A TAINT ♪

♪ THE SPACEBETWEEN THE BUTT AND BALLS ♪

♪ TAINT FACE, YOU TAINTY TAINTYOUR FACE IS A TAINT, TAINT ♪

♪ TAINT, TAINT - ♪ TAKE IT BACK

- ♪ NO, I WON'T - ♪ TAKE IT BACK

- ♪ I NEVER WILL - ♪ TAKE IT BACK

- ♪ NO, I WON'T, NEVER WILL - ♪ TAKE IT BACK, TAKE IT BACK

- ♪ TAKE IT BACK - ♪ NO, I WON'T

both: ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'REA SON OF A, SON OF A ♪

♪ SON OF A, SON OF A BITCH,BITCH, BITCH ♪

♪ SON OF A, SON OF A, SON OF A,SON OF A BITCH, BITCH, BITCH ♪

[cheers and applause]

- ♪ YOU DON'T NEEDTO FIGHT OVER ME ♪

♪ THERE'S PLENTYOF THE VA-GA- ♪

[scatting]♪ GINA

♪ VAGINA

♪ THERE'S PLENTY OF, OF, OF

YOU KNOW WHATI'M TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT?

[laughs]

Y'ALL KNOW WHATI'M TALKING ABOUT.