Gas Station/Caricature Artist

  • 03/21/2013

Nathan helps an independent gas station owner and a fledgling caricature artist.

$1.75 GAS AFTER REBATE.

A REBATE WILL LEGALLYALLOW DANIEL

TO ADVERTISE THE CHEAPEST GASIN THE COUNTRY.

AND BECAUSEIT'S SUCH A GREAT DEAL,

IT WOULD ONLY BE FAIRTO MAKE CLAIMING THIS REBATE

A BIT MORE INCONVENIENTTHAN NORMAL,

BY ASKING CUSTOMERSTO DROP IT OFF IN PERSON

AT THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN.

- AT THE TOPOF THE MOUNTAIN.

YEAH, THAT'S GOOD TRICKY WAYTO MAKE MONEY.

- ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALFDRIVE FROM SEVAN GAS

IN THE MIDDLE OFTHE ANGELES NATIONAL FOREST,

THE PEAK OF MOUNT CHILEOIS ONLY ACCESSIBLE BY FOOT.

I EXPLAINED TO DANIEL

THAT AS LONG AS HE WAS UP FRONTWITH HIS CUSTOMERS,

PUTTING THE REBATE BOXATOP CHILEO

WAS COMPLETELY 100% LEGAL.

- IF SOME OF THEMIS GONNA CLAIM IT,

IT'S GONNA COST ME MONEY,RIGHT?

- DO YOU THINK PEOPLEARE GONNA HIKE UP A MOUNTAIN

TO GET THIS REBATE?

- UH...

- AFTER A WEEKTO GET EVERYTHING PREPARED,

WE IMPLEMENTED THE OFFER.

WITHIN MINUTESOF THE SIGN GOING UP,

IT PROVED TO BEAN INSTANT HIT,

WITH A LINE OF CARSDOWN THE BLOCK.

- IS IT REALLY $1.75?

- AFTER REBATE.

- WHAT TYPE OF REBATE?

- IT'S NOT MAIL-IN REBATE.

YOU HAVE TO TAKE ITPERSONALLY.

- WHERE'S IT AT?

- MOUNTAIN CHILE.

- WHERE?- MOUNTAIN CHILE.

IF YOU ANSWERED YES,

YOU'RE PROBABLY CARICATURE ARTIST GREG DOHLEN.

HE WAS THE ONE THAT DREW IT.

AND AFTER TWO DECADESOF DOING CARICATURES,

HE HAS YETTO MAKE A NAME FOR HIMSELF.

- IT'S ALWAYS A STRUGGLE.

AND I'VE KIND OF--

I'VE BEEN DOING THISSINCE '89.

- BUT SOMETIMESTHE SOLUTION IS AS SIMPLE

AS KEEPING UPWITH THE TRENDS.

- YOU DREW ME HERE.- YEAH.

- IT'S ENJOYABLETO SEE YOURSELF

PORTRAYED AS A CARTOON.- YEAH.

- BUT I DON'T THINKIT MAKES ME LAUGH.

CARICATURESARE INSULT COMEDY.

- WELL, YEAH.

- IN THE CATEGORYOF INSULT COMEDY,

JUST TO SHOW YOU WHAT'SCURRENTLY POPULAR RIGHT NOW,

HERE, JUST WATCH.

- I LIKE YOU, JASON ALEXANDER.I FIND YOU SEXY.

KISS ME, YOU FAT [bleep].

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE

WHAT JERRY SEINFELD'S[bleep] TASTES LIKE.

- I SHOWED HIM A CLIPOF THE WILDLY POPULAR

COMEDY CENTRAL ROASTS,

WHICH PROVED THAT TO BEA HIT IN INSULT COMEDY,

THE MEANER YOU ARE,THE BETTER.

THE PLAN:

TO RE-BRAND GREGAS "THE KING OF STING."

- UM, I'VE GOT--I'VE GOTTENMORE NEGATIVE REACTIONS

FROM GOING EXTREMETHAN POSITIVE REACTIONS.

- NO ONE LIKED ELVISWHEN HE FIRST CAME OUT,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

PEOPLE WERE OFFENDED.- RIGHT.

- BUT YOU HAVETO POWER THROUGH THAT

IF YOU WANNA BECOME BIG.

AT FIRST, GREG SEEMEDRESISTANT TO THE CONCEPT.

BUT AS WE STARTEDBRAINSTORMING IDEAS...

- YEAH, IT MIGHT BE FUNNYIF HE'S CHINESE,

AND I MAKE HIM A PHOTOGRAPHERWITH THE BIG BUCK TEETH.

- OH, YEAH, YEAH.

- LITTLE SQUINTY EYESAND BIG BUCK TEETH.

- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

HE QUICKLY BEGANTO EMBRACE IT.

I LEFT HIM WITH A FEW EDGYCONCEPTS OF MY OWN TO WORK ON,

AND HE STARTEDSKETCHING THEM OUT.

THE NEXT DAY, I RETURNEDTO SEE THE RESULTS.

ALL RIGHT, SO THIS ISTHE IDEA I HAD FOR A COUPLE,

AND YOU HAVE TO DRAW A COUPLE.

SO THAT'S YOU, THE ARTIST,

UH, DOING THE WOMANOF THE COUPLE FROM BEHIND,

DOGGY STYLE,SHE'S SAYING, "I LIKE THIS."

HER BOYFRIEND IS LOOKINGAT A HUMMINGBIRD'S PENIS

AND THINKING, "THAT'S HUGE."

YEAH, THIS IS GOOD.

IT'S REALLY FUNNY.

THIS IS, UM, YOUR VERSIONOF AN ASIAN BUSINESSMAN.

UM, DO YOU THINKTHIS ONE, UH...HMM...

- SEE, I'M NOT--I'M NOT SURE, UH,

WHEN YOU PRESENTEDAN ASIAN PICTURE

WHICH DIRECTIONI SHOULD GO WITH IT.

I WENT ALL DIRECTIONS REALLY.

WE COULD TRY IT OUT,SEE HOW IT GOES.

- SURE, YEAH.I MEAN, I'M NOT GONNA GET--

YOU KNOW, IN ART, YOU KNOW,

YOU DON'T WANT TO GETIN PEOPLE'S WAY OR ANYTHING,

SO I'M NOT GONNA--BUT, YEAH.

I MEAN,THIS IS DEFINITELY--

I MEAN, THE PEARL HARBOR THINGIS ALMOST NOT EVEN A JOKE.

THE REST OF GREG'S NEW EDGYCARICATURES LOOKED GREAT,

AND I COULD TELL THATHE WAS READY TO TRY THEM OUT

IN THE REAL WORLD.

- DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES?

- I LIKE TO BIKEAND SURF A LOT.

I LIKE SWIMMING, DEEJAYING,PLAYING THE TROMBONE.

- THINGS WERE OFFTO AN OKAY START,

BUT I GOT KIND OF WORRIEDWHEN AN ASIAN MAN SAT DOWN.

- I DRAW CARICATURES THAT AREA LITTLE MEAN AND EDGY.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH THAT?

- DEFINITELY.- YEAH, OKAY, GOOD.

HOW'S THAT?

YOU LIKE IT?

- YEAH.- OH, GOOD.

- BUT I WAS WRONG.THE GUY LOVED IT.

YOU LIKE IT?- YEAH, YEAH, I LIKE IT.

- AND FROM THEN ON,IT WAS SMOOTH SAILING.

- OH, NICE, MAN.

- WILL THAT WORK?- THAT'LL WORK, DUDE.

[both laugh]

- GREG WAS HITTINGNOTHING BUT HOME RUNS,

AND IT WAS AMAZINGTO WATCH HIM WORK.

- OH, NICE.

[laughter]

- SO HOW DO YOU FEELIT ALL WENT TODAY?

PEOPLE LAUGHED.I SAW PEOPLE LAUGHING.

- PEOPLE LAUGHED.

LIKE, THE DEEP SIDEOF PEOPLE'S HUMOR COMES OUT

WHEN YOU SHOW THEM SHOCK.

- YOU KNOW, AT THE BEGINNINGOF ALL THIS,

I HAD YOU DRAW ME,IT WASN'T FUNNY.

SO NOW WITH EVERYTHINGTHAT I'VE TAUGHT YOU,

I'M SAYING GO AS HARDAS YOU WANT ON ME,

AS MEAN AS YOU WANT.

- YOU WANT THE KING OF STING?

- I WANT THE KING OF STING.- OKAY.

- 'CAUSE I WANNA LAUGH.- OKAY.

- ALL RIGHT,THIS IS FUNNY,

BUT IT'S HARD FOR METO SEE MY GRANDPA

DEPICTED IN THAT WAY.

HE'S A CANADIAN WAR HERO,

AND HE'S, LIKE, A VERY--

HE HAS, LIKE, A VERY IMPORTANTROLE IN OUR FAMILY,

SO I DON'T LIKE SEEING HIMDEPICTED LIKE THIS.

IT JUST--

IT WAS A REAL SHAME THATGREG CHOSE TO END THE DAY

ON SUCH A TASTELESS NOTE.

BUT REGARDLESSOF MY FEELINGS,

HE TRULY WASTHE KING OF STING.

- MY GAS STATIONREBATE WAS UNDERWAY.

BUT AS WE SHUTTLEDTO THE BASE OF CHILEO,

I BEGAN TO DOUBT

THAT ANY OF THESEEIGHT DETERMINED CHEAPSKATES

WOULD DROP OUT BEFORE REACHINGTHE PEAK OF THE MOUNTAIN.

YOU MIGHT THINKI'D BE NERVOUS

THAT SEVAN GASWAS GOING TO LOSE MONEY,

BUT WHAT I HAD TOLD NO ONE

IS THAT THIS WAS ABOUT MORETHAN JUST HELPING A GAS STATION.

I SET OUT TO CREATE THE WORLD'SFIRST PERFECT REBATE,

A COMPLETELY LEGAL REBATETHAT ABSOLUTELY NO ONE CLAIMS.

FORTUNATELY, MOST OF THEM FAILEDTO READ THE FINE PRINT

ON THEIR REBATE SLIPS.

THEY DIDN'T REALIZE THEYHAD SIGNED UP FOR A LOT MORE

THAN JUST A HIKE.

- THE GENTLEMAN WHO WORKEDIN THE GAS STATION

TOLD ME THAT I WOULD HAVE TOCOME HIKE MOUNT CHILEO

TO GET THAT REBATE.

IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY,BUT IT'S BEEN AN ADVENTURE,

SO IT'S NOT TOO BAD.

- WHAT APPEALEDTO ME ABOUT IT

WAS IT JUST SOUNDEDKIND OF INTERESTING.

AND ONCE YOU'RE THERE,YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO IT.

I LOVE BEING OUT HEREOUT OF THE CITY,

GETTING TO RELAX A BIT,

BUT IT IS A LITTLE BITAPPREHENSIVE

BECAUSE IT'S THE WOODS.

- ALL RIGHT,WELCOME TO MOUNT CHILEO,

A PLACE WHOSE HISTORYIS AS RICH

AS ITS PEAK IS HIGH.

DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?

- WHERE'S THE BOX?

- WELL, YOU HAVETO ANSWER SOME RIDDLES FIRST.

- WAIT, AT THE GAS STATIONYOU JUST TOLD US

WE'D HAVE TO INSERT THE PAPERINTO A BOX OR SOMETHING

AND THEN GET OUR REBATE.- RIGHT.

- NOTHING WAS MENTIONEDABOUT A RIDDLE

OR A SERIES OF RIDDLES.

- LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TO PICK UPMY KID TILL 3:00 TOMORROW.

- LET'S DO IT.- LET'S DO THIS.

- YEAH.- LET'S DO THIS.

- I'M A ME, ME, ME SYSTEM.

I TAKE CARE OF ME,I WASH ME, I FEED ME.

- OKAY, BE QUIETSO WE CAN--

I WAS GOING TO POINT OUT THATTHIS WAS ALL IN THE FINE PRINT,

BUT THEY DIDN'T EVENSEEM TO CARE.

THIS MIGHT GO ON LONGERTHAN I THOUGHT.

SO PEOPLEWOULDN'T REDEEM THE REBATE.

BUT REALLY IN THE END,

WHAT I REALIZED IS THATMORE IMPORTANT THAN ANY OF THIS

IS FRIENDSHIP.

- OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

- AND DOING THISI MADE SOME VERY GOOD FRIENDS.

RAY PREMUSWAS ONE OF THEM.

- WHO?

- RAY PREMUS.- OH.

- HE WAS WILLINGTO DRINK PEE.

- PEE?- YEAH.

- WHOSE PEE?

- NO, JUST ANYONE'S PEE.

- ANYONE'S PEE?- HE SAYS THERE'S NO GERMS.

- MAYBE THEY CAN DRINKMY GRANDSON'S PEE.

IT'S VERY CLEAN.

YEAH?

- WHY--- BECAUSE IT'S CLEAN.

WHY DRINK MY PEEOR YOUR PEE?

- YOU'RE PROMOTINGYOUR GRANDSON'S PEE.

- I AM PROMOTING BECAUSEGRANDSON'S PEE SOMETIMES HELPS.

IT REALLY HELPS.

- HAVE YOU DRANKYOUR GRANDSON'S PEE?

- YEAH.- WHY?

- I WAS SCARED.

- WHAT DO YOU MEANYOU WERE SCARED?

- YEAH, SOMETIMESYOU'RE SCARED FOR SOMETHING.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- ACCIDENT OR SOMETHING,

YOU DRINKTHE GRANDSON'S PEE,

AND IT'S GONNA HELP YOU.

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY DOES IT HELP YOU IFYOU DRINK YOUR GRANDSON'S PEE?

- THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY,YEAH.

- WHO SAYS THAT?- MY GRANDMA.

- YOUR GRANDMA SAID--- LONG TIME AGO, YEAH.

- YOU DRINK YOUR GRANDSON'SPEE IF YOU GET SCARED?

- NOT GRANDSON'S.ANY LITTLE KID.

- YOU DRINK ANY--

- NOT OVER AGE OF FIVE,

BECAUSE BEFOREOVER AGE OF FIVE,

IT'S TERRIBLE.

- I HAVE NEVER--- I AM SERIOUS ABOUT IT.

- BUT WHY--

- YEAH, IF YOU'RE SCARED,

YOU DRINKTHE SMALL CHILD'S PEE.

IT HELPS.I HEARD FROM MY GRANDMA.

YOU CAN ASK YOUR PARENTSOR GRANDPARENTS.

MAYBE THEY TELL YOU TOO.

- I WILL ASK, I GUESS.

- THANK YOUFOR GIVING THIS IDEA.

- DO YOU GUYS KNOW WON'T BE THE SAME

BY PETTINGER, BOJANIC,AND HOOPER?

- NOPE.

- IT'S A ROYALTY-FREEMUSIC SONG

FROM THE INTERNET.

- WELL, PLAY IT.LET'S HEAR IT.

- IT GOES A LITTLESOMETHING LIKE THIS.

♪ THESE DAYSI JUST CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT ♪

♪ I GOT TOO MANY ANGLES

♪ RUNNING ROUND MY BRAIN

♪ 'CAUSE I KNOW

♪ IT WON'T BE THE SAME

♪ WON'T BE THE--

- THE ONLY DRUGSTHAT THE FDA WILL APPROVE

ARE DRUGS THATPHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES

WILL SPEND $200 MILLION ON.

- AS RAY BEGAN LECTURING MEABOUT ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE,

I FOUND MYSELF REGRETTINGTHIS WHOLE PLAN.

- NATUROPATHS DRINK URINE.

THEY TELL THEIR PATIENTSTO DRINK URINE,

AND THAT'S PART OF A CURE,AND THE REASON WHY--

- SO YOU WOULD DRINK URINE?

- IT'S SAFER THANALMOST ANYTHING OUT THERE.

- IF MY NATUROPATH TOLD METO DRINK URINE,

I MIGHT--I MIGHT--

- LIKE, WHOSE URINE?

- THEIR OWN URINE.

- DRINK YOUR OWN URINE?- YEAH.

- BUT AS THE NIGHT WENT ON,

I BEGAN TO SEE THAT RAY,LAURIE, AND ELIZABETH

WEREN'T JUST CHEAPSKATESLOOKING FOR A DEAL.

IN FACT, MONEY WASTHE LEAST OF THEIR PROBLEMS.

- SO NOW THE STATE POLICEMAJOR CRIMES SQUAD

IS INVESTIGATING MEFOR ARSON.

STILL WEAR MY WEDDING RING25 YEARS LATER.

HAVEN'T TALKED TO HERIN 23 YEARS OR SO.

- YOU NEED TO BEWITH SOMEONE ELSE.

YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU25 YEARS AGO,

AND YOU HAVEN'TMOVED ON YET.

- HOW COME I HAVETO DO THIS FIRST?

- 'CAUSE YOU HAVE NO FEAROF ANYTHING.

- I HAVE A FEAROF KISSING PEOPLE.

- HEY.- OH, LAURIE.

- THAT'S NOT LAURIE.- YES, IT'S ON LAURIE.

- YOU KNOW, I WASN'TSUPPOSED TO LEAVE HIM.

YOU KNOW,I WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY.

UM...

BUT YOU CAN ONLY PUSHA PERSON SO FAR.

- DO YOU WANT A HUG?

- THANK YOU.

- SO THE PHARMACEUTICALCOMPANIES DON'T WANT US TO KNOW

THAT WE CANDRINK OUR OWN PEE

AND THAT WILL CUREEVERY DISEASE?

- THAT'S RIGHT.HOW COME YOU GOT AWAY WITH--

- OH!RAY!

- WHAT?- ELIZABETH.

- RAY.[laughs]

- BY THE END OF THE NIGHT,

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