A Taste of Freedom

  • Season 5, Ep 4
  • 02/20/2008

Zoidberg is sentenced to death for eating Earth's flag on Freedom Day.

( applause and cheers )

Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!

Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!

( engines rumbling )

BENDER:Excuse me, coming through!

Freedom Trainarriving on track one.

( two toots )

Ow, you brokemy foot!

Freedom!

What's this nextfloat, Linda?

Representing our men, womenand children in uniform

it's Earth's greatest spacehero, Zapp Brannigan.

Happy Freedom Day, ladies.

Come on, let looseand show me something.

Anything. Seriously,I'd take an armpit.

( sighs )

Oh, yeah.Thank you, Linda.

You're welcome!

Okay, Morbo,now it's your turn.

If that is yourFreedom Day wish...

( horrified screaming )

( Techno version of "Hail to the Chief" )

( techno music fades )

Thank you, Secretaryof Transportation.

My fellow Earthicans:

We enjoy so much freedom,it's almost sickening.

We're free to choose which hand

our sex-monitoring chipis implanted in.

And if we don't wantto pay our taxes

why, we're free to spend aweekend with the Pain Monster.

( cheerily ):See you April 15, folks!

Cue the fireworks guy.

( rocket whistling )

( fireworks exploding )

Ooh...Ah...

Incidentally, tonight'sFreedom Day celebration

is brought to you by...

Shankman's Rubbing Compound.

When something needs rubbing,think Shankman.

( excited cheering )Yeah, Shankman!

By a vote of six to three,we find that flag-eating

is not protectedby the Constitution.

( all gasping )

Six to three?I beat the spread.

The court ordersan immediate public apology.

Apology accepted.

Just don't let it happen again.

She means you,you turkey of the sea.

Me, apologize? Never!

I came to this planet to learnthe meaning of freedom!

But I say it's youwho should get a nice lesson!

So, do your worst, becauseno punishment could be bigger

than denying me my freedom!

You are hereby sentencedto death.

Wait, let me finish!

( shocked murmuring )

Also, in a raredouble-whammy decision

the court finds polygamyconstitutional.

( booing )

I can't wait to tell my husband.

( louder booing )

ZAPP BRANNIGAN:Remember, men

take him alive, so there'ssomething left to kill.

( pounding )

Stay back!

This Embassy is sovereign mudof the mud planet Decapod 10.

Invading these mud premisesis an act of war!

Yeah? Well, what are you goingto do about it, shrimpy?

You want to see, Mr. Bigshot?

Attack Earth!

Yes, I know it's a shlep--just do it!

( engines roaring )

Haha! Now the rubber band'son the other claw!

( terrified screaming )

Ready? Retreat!