In this episode, should we alter the Constitution or just put some elastic in the waist? Then, I name my Alpha Dog of the Week. He'll sniff your crotch and not even call the next day. Plus, my guest tonight is MSNBC host Dylan Ratigan. Wait, if he's here, then who's watching MSNBC? Van Halen will release a new album with David Lee Roth. At their age, "Hot for Teacher" is now creepy from the other side. This is The Colbert Report.