Tuesday, June 17, 2014

  • 06/17/2014

Erin Foley and the Sklar Brothers guess which piece of Riff Raff fan art is the most expensive, list #HighHistory moments and learn about dinosaur-themed erotica.

>> RECENTLY WE PLAYED "RIFFRAFF PADDYWHACK" WHERE WE

DELVED INTO THE DARK RECESS OFRIFF RAFF'S INSTAGRAM.

WE DECIDED TO GO MORE RIFFRAFFING AND FOUND ESTY WAS A

GREAT PLACE TO START.

HERE TO HELP US SORT THROUGH ALLTHE RIFF RAFF'SPIRATIONS IS THE

MAN HIMSELF, RIFF RAFF!

>> WE DID IT! >> YOU DID IT.

>> YOU GET THE FIRST COPY.>> THIS IS THE FIRST ONE?

>> FRESH OFF THE PRESS, MAN.

>> THANK YOU.

>> YEAH MAN YOU SENT THE SUV OUTAND I JUMPED IN IT.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS GOING.

>> WAIT, YOU JUST JUMPED IN ANS.U.V.

>> YEAH, WOULDN'T YOU?

>> NO, I WOULDN'T.

>> I WAS TOLD BACKSTAGE BYSOMEONE WITH A HEADSET THAT WE

WERE GOING TO ASK THE COMEDIANSWHICH ONE OF THE FOLLOWING "ME

INSPIRED" ITEMS ON ETSY IS THEMOST EXPENSIVE.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> I GOTTA SAY, KID ROCK LOOKSGREAT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> WHAT ARE THE ITEMS?>> HERE ARE THE ITEMS.

WE HAVE A, THE LAST GREETINGCARD YOU'RE EVER GOING TO HAVE

TO BUY.

>> GREETINGS.

>> THAT'S ABOUT 40,000 ON E-BAYRIGHT NOW.

>> I'M SURE.

B. THIS FLY PORTRAIT OF ME,PAINTED BY THE ACTUAL PABLO

PICASSO>> THAT'S AMAZING.

YOU GOT PICASSO TO PARTICIPATETHAT FOR YOU.

>> WE'RE GOOD FRIENDS.

C. THIS T-SHIRT OF ME LOOKINGRELAXED AS (BLEEP).

>> YOU LOOK PRETTY RELAXED.

>> IT'S KIND OF SEE-THROUGH.IT'S A SEE-THROUGH SHIRT.

>> SO WHICH ONE IS THE MOSTEXPENSIVE, COMEDIANS?

ERIN FOLEY?

>> IT SHOULD BE B., BECAUSE IT'SART WORK, BUT IT'S AMERICA SO

I'M GOING WITH THE ( BLEEP )T-SHIRT, C.

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS.

B.!

IT IS B.!

YOU WERE RIGHT.

IT'S THE-- THE PICASSO.

RIFF RAFF'S NEW ALBUM "NEONICON" IS OUT JUNE 24.

CHECK IT OUT. GIVE IT UP FORRIFF RAFF!

>> YOU KNOW, HE SHOOK MY HANDS.SOFTEST HANDS IN SHOW BUSINESS.

>> LIKE A BABY.

LIKE THAT BABY RIGHT THERE. LIKETHAT BABY RIGHT THERE.

LIKE HE GRAFTED THE SKIN FROMTHAT BABY'S ASS.

IT'S TIME FOR TONIGHT'S#HASHTAGWARS.

I'M SURE YOU PROBABLY GOT THECALENDAR ALERT ON YOUR DEVICE

BUT TODAY IS THE 43RDANNIVERSARY OF RICHARD NIXON

DECLARING THE WARS ON DRUGS.

SO TONIGHT-- SUCK IT DRUGS.

SO IN HONOR OF THAT EVENT,TONIGHT'S HASHTAG IS

#HIGHHISTORYEXAMPLES WOULD BE:

GEORGE W. KUSH, THE OREGON I'MSEEING TRAILS.

THE LINCOLN DOUGLAS BENSONDEBATES.

LET'S PUT 60 SECOND ON THE CLOCKAND GO.

JASON.

>> J.F.K.F.C.

YEAH, POINTS. POINTS. RANDY.

>> ELI WHITNEY'S COTTON MOUTH.

YEAH, OH, GOOD ONE.

YEAH, POINTS. ERIN.

>> I DON'T REMEMBER THE ALAMO.

>> POINTS. JAY.

>> JOAN OF NARC.

>> YEAH. OH, POINTS. YEAH, GOOD.

>> RANDY.

>> HENRY VIII OF AN OUNCE.

>> YEAH POINTS. SO GOOD.

>> THE GRATEFUL DEAD SEASCROLLS.

>> OH, WOW.

>> BECAUSE THEY MIGHT TEAR BUTTHEY WON'T FADE AWAY.

>> WELL DONE, BRO.

POINTS.

ERIN.

>> POL POT.

>> YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TOCHANGE ANYTHING WITH THAT!

THESE PEOPLE LOVE A GOOD LEADEROF THE KHMER ROUGE REFERENCE.

YES, POINTS.

JAY.

>> THAT TIME WE RAN OUT OFBROWNSIES.

>> POINTS.

ERIN.

>> WHERE DID I PUT THEGETTYSBURG ADDRESS?

( APPLAUSE )>> FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN-- OH,

( BLEEP ).

JAY.

>> THE BOGARD-EN OF WEEDEN.

>> POINTS.>> DON'T YOU BOGARD THAT WEED

>> AGAIN, THIS IS SIMPLE BUTSTONED HENGE.

>> MAYBE THAT'S WHAT IT DOES.

"MASCOT YOUR TONGUE."

"MASCOT YOUR TONGUE."

FOR MONTHS, WE'VE BEEN TRYING TOBRING YOUR ATTENTION TO THE

IMMINENT APOCALYPSE THATMASCOTS, LIKE PIERRE THE

PELICAN, ARE THE HARBINGER OF.

WE FOUND THERE ARE PICTURES OFEVEN CREEPIER MASCOT ONLINE IF

THAT'S POSSIBLE.

COMEDIANS I'M GOING TO SHOW YOUSOME PICTURES OF SOME OF THE

MOST HORRIFYING MASCOTS AND IWANT YOU TO NAME THE TEAM IT

SHOULD SHRILL FOR. OK, FIRSTONE.

2012 LONDON OLYMPIC"FRIENDLIES."

>> I KNOW THOSE GUYS.

THOSE BUFFALO BORNES.

>> YUP. THE BUFFALO BONERS.

>> THEY'RE HARD TO BEAT!

THEY'RE HARD TO BEAT!

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

NEXT ONE: EUROPEAN FOOTBALLCLUB GRIMSBY TOWN F.C.'S MIGHTY

MARINER.

>> THAT IS THE GLASGOWRESTRAINING ORDERS.

>> A 20-YEAR CHIP.

THE MASCOT OF ALCOHOLICSANONYMOUS.

>> 12 STEPS.

YOU'RE ONLY ALLOWED TO TAKE 12STEPS ONTO THE FIELD.

>> I THOUGHT THAT WAS THEMANCHESTER CREEPY UNCLE JEFFS.

>> NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THEARSENAL PERVERTS.

>> LAST ONE SENOR TESTICULO,BRAZIL'S CANCER-FIGHTING MASCOT.

MY NIGHTMARES HAVE A NEWRINGLEADER AND HERE HE IS.

HE'S GOING TO EAT THAT!

WHO BRINGS A BABY TO A NUTREALLY?

>> WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW IS THEBABY HAS A NUT ALLERGY.

>> HELLO, BABY, YOU CAME FROMINSIDE HERE.

>> I MADE YOU.

I MADE YOU.

I WAS CONFUSED.

I THOUGHT IT WAS THE OHIO STATEBUCKEYES. MICHIGAN FAN.

THIS IS LOW HANGING FRUIT.

>> OH, COME ON!

>> GRAB IT LIKE THAT.

>> HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

HEY, WHERE IS YOUR BUDDY?

I LOST HIM BACKSTAGE.

HE'S A DICK.

>> I LOVE THAT ONE.

>> FIRST OF ALL, FOR HIS AGE,CARLOS--

>> LET ME GET THIS OUT.

>> CARLOS SANTANA LOOKS GREAT.

( APPLAUSE )>> I CAN DO A LITTLE ROB THOMAS.

YOU GOT THE KIND OF NUTS THATCAN BE SO SMOOTH.

OH LET'S FORGET ABOUT IT.

"DINOSAUR EROTICA OR CHILDREN'S

BOOK?" ARE YOU AWARE THERE'S AGENRE OF EROTIC LITERATURE

ABOUT WOMEN BEING RAVAGED BYDINOSAURS.

YES, DINOSAURS. BECAUSE RULE 34.

YOU CAN ORDER IT ON AMAZON.COMAND IT WILL COME RIGHT TO YOUR

DOOR.

THEN YOU CAN GO RIGHT TO YOURNEIGHBOR'S DOORS AND INTRODUCE

YOURSELF AS A SEX OFFENDER.

SO, COMEDIANS, I'M GOING TO GIVEYOU THE TITLE OF A BOOK AND YOU

TELL ME IF IT'S DINOSAUR EROTICAFROM AUTHOR CHRISTIE SIMS OR A

CHILDREN'S BOOK ABOUT DINOSAURS.

WHERE HOPEFULLY NO ONE GETS( BLEEP ).

FIRST ONE: "T-REX TROUBLES."

DINO EROTICA OR DINO KID'S BOOK?

YES, JAY?

>> I'M GOING TO SAY KID'S BOOK.

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

>> WAIT A MINUTE!

>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

I DON'T-- HE'S GOT SUCH SMALLHANDS.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR WHAT'SDOWN BELOW?

>> YOU GOTTA UNHOOK IT.

>> GET IT!

GET IT!

GET IT!

>> YOU GOTTA UNHOOK IT!

>> GET IT!

THE THING IS WHEN HE ( BLEEP )HER, IF YOU HAVE A CUP OF WATER

YOU CAN JUST SEE IT SHAKE.( LAUGHTER ).

>> I'LL GIVE YOU POINTS FORTHAT.

NEXT ONE"IN THE VELOCIRAPTOR'S NEST."

>> I THINK THAT'S EROTICA.

>> I THINK IT MIGHT BE EROTICA,TOO. LET'S FIND OUT.

>> WOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT VELOCIRAPTORS DO?

VELOCIRAPTORS SNATCH YOUR EGGS.

>> OR EGG YOUR SNATCH. ONE ORTHE OTHER.

TRIP ADVISORIES: WORLD CUPEDITION.

THE WORLD CUP IS HAPPENING THISMONTH.

TOURISTS ACROSS THE WORLD HAVEBEEN FLOCKING TO BRAZIL.

BUT WITH STADIUMS BARELYCOMPLETED IN TIME FOR THE GAMES,

THERE ARE PROBABLY GOING TO BESOME COMPLAINTS BY TRAVELERS.

COMEDIANS, I WANT YOU TO GIVE MELINES FROM TRIPADVISOR REVIEWS

THAT WOULD MAKE YOU STAY AWAYFROM BRAZILIAN HOTELS AND OTHER

WORLD CUP DESTINATIONS.

THE WAY YOU IDENTIFY ABRAZILIAN HOTEL IS ITS ASS AND

PUSSY ARE COMPLETELY BARE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I JUST SAIDTHAT.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

>> I BROKE ERIN A LITTLE BIT.

>> THAT ONE TOOK ME OFF GUARD.

I'M PUTTING 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK, STARTING NOW.

GO. YES, JAY.

>> THERE'S A GUY IN MY BATH TUBWHO WHENEVER I TAKE A ( BLEEP ),

HE YELLS GOOOOAL!

>> POINTS. YEAH, RANDY.

>> GOT STABBED WHILE VISITINGTHE LOBBY GIFT SHOP.

ON THE PLUS SIDE, WHEN I WENT TOTHE HOSPITAL, ALL THE NURSES

WERE TOPLESS.

OK, GOOD JOB, POINTS. RANDY.ERIN.

>> EVERY NIGHT AT MY HOTEL INTHE BARRIO, THEY PUT AN ORPHAN

ON MY PILLOW.

POINTS. JAY.

>> HARDLY ANY CARPET IN THEROOM.

JUST ONE THIN STRIP RIGHT UP THEMIDDLE.

>> NICE, POINTS.

>> AND IT DOESN'T MATCH THEDRAPES.

>> IT DOES NOT MATCH THE DRAPES.

>> THIS IS MORE GENERAL-- BUT DONOT BUY YOUR SEX WORKERS AT THE

AIRPORT.

THEY CHARGE THREE TIME AS MUCH.

>> POINTS. YEAH. ERIN

ERIN.

>> THE STATUE OF CHRIST THEREDEEMER HAS A GLORY HOLE.

Loading...