Coconut Nut Clusters

  • Season 5, Ep 5
  • 02/13/2008

The deputies raise money selling delicious Coconut Nut Clusters door-to-door.

RIGHT THEREWITH THE BALLOONS.

OH, MAN.SON OF A BITCH.

HOW YOU DOINGTONIGHT?

HELLO! WELCOMETO THE CARNIVAL.

YEAH?YES.

CAN I HELP YOUGENTLEMEN?

YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO OLDFOR THE RIDES, I THINK,SO--

[ALL LAUGHING]

DON'T TOUCH HIM.

DON'T EVERTOUCH HIM!

DON'T EVER TOUCHEITHER OF US,YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

I WASN'T GOINGTO TOUCH YOU.

I WOULD LIKE TO, UH,ASK YOU A QUESTION.

ANYTHING.

AND IT HAS TO DOWITH, UH, THE SIGN.

OH, JEEZ.

MEGAN'S LAW.

WHY DOES THE SIGNOVER YOUR DOORSAY...

"HOUSE OF MYSTERY"?"HOUSE OF MYSTERY."

WELL, NOW...THAT IS BECAUSE--

[STAMMERING]

IF THE KIDS PAY EXTRA,YOU CAN GO IN THERE

AND I TURNTHE LIGHTS OUT,

AND OF COURSE, THEY ALSO--

I BLINDFOLD THEMAND THEY CAN JUST--

FEEL AROUND?FEEL ALL AROUND.

THAT'S WHY THEYCALLED US, YOU KNOW.

WELL, WHY--WE HAD REPORTS--

WE HAD REPORTS.OF SOME FELLA...

BLINDFOLDING CHILDREN--YES.

AND TELLING THEMTO JUST "FEEL AROUND."

YES, HOORAY!

WHAT'S--[STAMMERING]

IT'S--IT'S CARNIVAL!

SO I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTANDWHY THAT'S A PROBLEM,

BECAUSE...

THERE WERE2 REPORTS.

THE OTHER REPORTWAS THAT A GENTLEMAN

WAS TAKINGYOUNGSTERS--YES.

PUTTING THEMON AN ELECTRONICHORSEY RIDE

AND SPRAYING THEMWITH A GARDEN HOSE.

AND PUTTING ITON YOUTUBE.

WELL, OK, IF THOSE--

IF SOMEBODY'S FILMINGTHAT AND PUTTING ITON YOUTUBE,

THAT'S NOT MY BUSINESS.

I'M NOT--

THAT'S--HOW CAN I KEEPTHE YOUTUBERS AWAY?

IF THEY COME OVERAND THEY--

DON'T EVER TOUCH ME!EVER!

WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.

DON'T TOUCH HIM.

AND WHY AREN'T YOUCROUCHING IN FEAR?

WHY AREN'T YOU CROUCHEDIN FEAR?CROUCH.

HAVE YOU BEEN SUPPLYINGCHANGE FOR THE CHILDREN?

THAT'S THE CALLWE GOT.

THEY CAN REACH RIGHT INAND GET THE CHANGE, SEE?

I CAN PROVE IT.

THERE'S CHANGEALL OVER HERE.

LOOK AT THIS.LOOK AT THIS CHANGE--

IF I REACH INTOTHIS CHANGE PURSE,

I'M NOT GOING TOFEEL ANYTHING ELSE,AM I?

[LAUGHING] WHAT?THAT'S WHAT YOU FEEL.

HANDS UP, PLEASE.HANDS UP.

PUT YOUR HANDS LIKE THIS.

WHAT? WAIT, WAIT--THE POLICE!

NO, NOT THERE!OHH! MM-HMM.

YEP. YEP.MM-HMM.

GOT IT.

OK. THAT IS MY PENIS.YEP.

WHY ARE YOU CHAININGYOURSELF TO ME?

OH! OH!COME ON.

OK, THAT'S--THAT IS TIGHT.

♪ BA BE DEE BOO ♪

[BOTH SCATTING]

♪ COCONUT CLUSTERS ♪

♪ COCONUT NUT CLUSTERS ♪

[BOTH SCATTING]

HEY!

[LAUGHS]

SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT!

YEAH, WE'RE SELLINGCOCONUT NUT CLUSTERS

FOR THE SHERIFFS'ATHLETICS LEAGUE!

Man:GET OFF MY PROPERTY,MOTHER[BLEEP], PIGS!

WHOA. ALL RIGHT.WHOA.

I'LL SLAP YOU SO HARD--SIR, WE'RE JUST SELLING CA--

GO!UHH! AAH!

Man:YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MEALIVE, [BLEEP]!

GO! GO!OH, MY GOD!

I'M HIT!

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