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I Know Black People & Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

Dave asks contestants how much they know about black American culture. (21:33)

BRENDA JOHNSONWAS AT HOME ONE NIGHT

EATING POPCORN AND WATCHINGTELEVISION WITH HER GIRLFRIEND.

THE TELEPHONE RANG.

[phone rings]

- HELLO.

[dial tone humming]

- BRENDA HAD A SIMPLE CHOICETO MAKE:

IGNORE THE MILD RUDENESSOF SOMEONE HANGING UP ON HER

OR KEEP IT REAL.

- FUCK THAT!

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE PLAYINGON MY PHONE.

- GIRL, DON'T EVEN TRIP.YOU BIGGER THAN THAT.

- NO.

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE PLAYINGON MY PHONE.

- BUT IN REALITY,IT HAD NOTHING TO DO

WITH PEOPLE PLAYINGON HER PHONE.

BRENDA HAD LONG SUSPECTEDHER BOYFRIEND, JAMAL,

OF CHEATING ON HER.

THIS WAS THE STRAWTHAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK.

[touch-tones beeping]

[phone rings]

- HELLO.- DID YOU JUST CALL HERE, BITCH?

- EXCUSE ME?

- I KNOW YOU JUST CALLED HERE.DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME.

STOP FUCKING MY MAN!

- I DON'T KNOWWHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I DIALEDTHE WRONG NUMBER, OKAY?

- I STAR-69'D YOU,YOU DIRTY HO.

YOU AND I BOTH KNOWYOU SLEEPING WITH JAMAL.

- NO, I WAS TRYINGTO CALL MY AUNT.

- OH, BITCH, PLEASE.

YOU A BITCH,AND SO IS YOUR AUNT.

[dial tone humming]

OH, NO, SHE DID NOTHANG UP ON ME AGAIN.

- AGAIN?

- BRENDA COULD'VE ENDEDTHE CONFLICT THERE.

- YOU WANT TO PLAY,BITCH?

LET'S PLAY.

- BUT SHE DECIDED TO PUSHHER REAL-O-METER INTO THE RED.

- 'CAUSE I KEEPS IT REALLIKE THAT.

- BRENDA WENT ONTO HER COMPUTERAND DID A REVERSE LOOKUP

OF JANICE'S NUMBER.

NOT ONLY DID SHE GETJANICE'S ADDRESS

BUT DIRECTIONS AS WELL.

- I'M FITTIN' TO RIDEON THIS BITCH.

[air hissing]

[car alarm blaring]

[glass clattering]

YOU WON'T BE FUCKING JAMALIN THIS CAR, HO!

TAKE THAT,YOU CLAP-HAVING JEZEBEL.

- IT WAS A WRONG NUMBER!

- FUCK THAT!

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE PLAYINGON MY PHONE.

I KEEPS IT REAL.

- WHAT BRENDA DIDN'T KNOW

IS THAT JANICEWAS BORROWING THE CAR

FROM HER OLDER BROTHER,A FEDERAL AGENT.

SHE ALSO DIDN'T KNOW THATDEFACING A GOVERNMENT VEHICLE

IS CONSIDERED A FELONYIN CERTAIN CASES,

THIS BEING ONE OF THEM.

AFTER A SHORT TRIAL,

BRENDA WAS SENTENCEDTO SIX YEARS

IN FEDERAL PRISON.

- WHAT'S REALLY HOOD,BITCH?

- BRENDA KNEW IT WAS IMPORTANTTO ESTABLISH HER REALNESS

EARLY IN PRISON.

CONFRONTEDBY ANOTHER PIVOTAL DECISION,

SHE DECIDED THEN AND THERETO KEEP IT REAL.

- ALL RIGHT, BITCH,LET'S SETTLE THIS RIGHT NOW.

OH![grunting]

- THE THREE WOMENWERE ALL SERVING

CONSECUTIVE LIFE SENTENCES.

IT TURNED OUTTHEY KEPT IT REALER.

- [grunting]

- AND AS FOR HER BOYFRIEND,JAMAL...

- YOU WANT TO TALKABOUT KEEPING IT REAL?

- HE WAS CHEATING ON BRENDAWITH HER BEST FRIEND.

- I KEEPS IT REAL.[laughs]

AIN'T THAT RIGHT,SHORTY?

- THAT'S RIGHT.

- FROM EATING POPCORNIN THE COMFORT OF HER OWN HOME

TO EATING FRUIT COCKTAILOFF OF A PRISON FLOOR,

BRENDA ROUNDS...

- FUCK THAT!

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE PLAYINGON MY PHONE.

- JUST ANOTHER CASEOF WHAT CAN HAPPEN

WHEN "KEEPING IT REAL"GOES WRONG.

LET'S SEE HOW IT GOESIN THE NEXT ROUND.

ARE YOU READY?

WHAT IS A LOOSEY?

- NOW, I SHOULD KNOW THIS.

A SMOKE.ding!

- DAMN, THAT'S--THAT'S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.

A SINGLE CIGARETTE.

- A LOOSE CIGARETTE.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- A CIGARETTE.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

WHAT IS A LOOSEY?

- IS THAT A--

A WAY OF SAYING ORAL SEX?

buzz!

- NO, BUT WE SHOULDSTART SAYING THAT.

WHAT IS A LOOSEY?

- ONE CIGARETTE BOUGHTAT THE STORE FROM THE ARABS.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

A CIGARETTE BOUGHTAT THE STORE,

ONE LOOSE CIGARETTE,FROM AN ARAB.

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- WHAT IS A CHICKENHEAD?

- THAT'S A WOMANWHO PUTS HER MOUTH

ON THE MEMBER OF A--

OR SOMETIMES CALLEDA CRACK WHORE.

ding!- THAT IS ACCEPTABLE.

THAT IS ONE OF THE MANYDEFINITIONS OF A CHICKENHEAD,

A FELLATIOUS WOMAN.

THERE WE GO.

MARK, THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.

- LET'S SEE.

SOMEBODY ON TVUSED TO SAY CHICKENHEAD.

"YOU'RE SUCH A CHICKENHEAD."

- I DON'T KNOWWHAT SHOW THIS IS,

BUT I'D LIKE TO SEE IT.

- SOMEBODY WHO'S STUPID.

buzz!

- NO, A CHICKENHEADIS A HOOCHIE, WHORE,

OR A FELLATIOUS WOMAN,APPARENTLY.

- IT CAN BE USEDFOR DIFFERENT THINGS.

IT'S MOSTLY USED TO DESCRIBEA HO OR AN UGLY WOMAN.

- A WOMAN THAT LIKESTO SUCK PENIS.

A WOMAN THAT LIKESTO SUCK PENIS.

- TO GIVE A LOOSEY.

- THAT'S RIGHT,TO GIVE A LOOSEY.

WHAT IS A CHICKENHEAD?

- OH, YOU CAN FIND THAT ANYWHEREIN THE HOOD, ON THE BLOCK.

IT'S A BIRD,

ONE OF THOSE THAT YOU JUSTBRING HOME AND WEAR OUT.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

A BIRD THAT YOU BRING HOMEAND WEAR OUT.

THAT IS CORRECT.

THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FOR.THAT'S HOW THEY'RE USED.

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- FINISH THIS GOOD TIME LYRIC:

"TEMPORARY LAYOFFS,GOOD TIMES.

"EASY CREDIT RIP-OFFS,

"GOOD TIMES.

"SCRATCHING AND SURVIVING,

"GOOD TIMES.

"BLANK,

GOOD TIMES."

- I KNOW THAT ONE CHARACTERON GOOD TIMES

WAS J.J. WALKER.

- THAT'S VERY GOOD.

I GET MISTAKEN FOR HIM A LOTIN SHOPPING MALLS.

- ANOTHER ACTRESSON GOOD TIMES

IS LENNY KRAVITZ'S MOTHER.

buzz!

- OH, I'M SORRY,THAT WAS THE JEFFERSONS,

BUT CLOSE.

both: ♪ EASY CREDIT RIP-OFFS

♪ GOOD TIMES

♪ SCRATCHING AND SURVIVING

- ♪ GOOD TIMES

[humming]

♪ GOOD TIMES

- DAMN.

both:♪ AIN'T WE LUCKY WE GOT 'EM ♪

- ♪ GOOD TIMES

- YEAH, I...

- I REMEMBER WHEN WILLISHAD A DRINKING PROBLEM.

buzz!

- "SCRATCHINGAND SURVIVING,

"GOOD TIMES.

"BLANK,GOOD TIMES."

- MM-HMM, AND I'VE ALWAYSWONDERED THIS MYSELF.

AND IT SOUNDS LIKE"HANGIN' IN A JURY,"

BUT IT'S--

IT'S--IT'S--AND IS IT A--

- SAY IT ONE MORE TIME.

SAY WHAT YOU JUST SAIDONE MORE TIME.

- ♪ HANGIN' IN A JURY ♪

UM, AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT,AS A KID,

"DOES THAT MEAN THAT SOMEONEIS HUNG IN A JURY?"

BUT I DIDN'T--

YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO SAYYOU CAN TELL

I KNOW THE ACTUAL SONG,

BUT THOSE ONES, I NEVERCOULD DECIPHER WHAT IT WAS.

IT WAS A--

- BRYAN TUCKER JUST POINTED OUTA FACT THAT IS VERY TRUE.

THIS IS THE MOST DISPUTED LYRIC

IN ALLOF THE GOOD TIMES LYRICS.

- YES.

- I AM INCLINEDTO GIVE HIM THE POINT.

I LOOK AT MY JUDGES--

ding!HE GETS THE POINT.

- ALL RIGHT,AND WHAT IS THE LYRIC?

- THE CORRECT LYRIC:

"HANGIN' IN A CHOW LINE."

I HAD TO LOOK IT UPON THE INTERNET MYSELF.

I THOUGHT IT WAS"HANGIN' A JACKET."

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- AND NOWFOR THE FINAL QUESTION.

ARE YOU READY?

- I'M READY.

- HOW CAN BLACK PEOPLERISE UP AND OVERCOME?

- HOW CAN THEY RISE UPAND OVERCOME?

WELL, CAN THEY OVERCOME?NO, I'M JUST-.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- [laughs]

- REPARATIONS.

ding!- THAT IS ACCEPTABLE.

- THIS IS A RAP LYRIC?

- NO, THIS--I'M SORRY.

- OH, THIS ISA GENERAL QUESTION.

- THIS IS AN ACTUAL QUESTION.- ALL RIGHT.

THERE'S A COMPLEX ANSWER THERE.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- STAYING ALIVE.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

THAT IS CORRECT.

- WELL, STOP CUTTIN'EACH OTHER'S THROAT.

ding!- THAT ALSO IS CORRECT.

HOW CAN BLACK PEOPLERISE UP AND OVERCOME?

- GET OUT AND VOTE.

buzz!

- THAT IS INCORRECT,I'M AFRAID.

- [laughing]- I'M SORRY.

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- WELL, FOLKS, OUR JUDGESTALLIED UP THE SCORES,

AND WE HAVE A WINNER.

ROB THE DJ.ROB, COME ON OUT.

EXCELLENT JOB, ROB.CONGRATULATIONS.

HERE'S THE GRAND PRIZE.

OF COURSE, IT CONTAINSA LIFETIME SUPPLY

OF MURRAY'S HAIR CREAM.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AND ONE CAN ISA LIFETIME SUPPLY, TRUST ME.

TWO BOOTLEG DVDs.

AND, OF COURSE,WHAT WOULD A GRAND PRIZE BE

WITHOUT A PACKOF MENTHOL CIGARETTES?

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- WELCOME TO THE SHOW I KNOW BLACK PEOPLE,

WHERE WE TAKE CONTESTANTSWHO CLAIM TO KNOW BLACK PEOPLE

AND PUT THEIR KNOWLEDGE

OF AFRICAN-AMERICAN CULTURETO THE TEST.

THE CONTESTANT WHO ANSWERSTHE MOST QUESTIONS, OF COURSE,

WINS OUR GRAND PRIZE.

LET'S BRING THEM OUTONE AT A TIME NOW.

OUR FIRST CONTESTANTIS A PROFESSOR

OF AFRICAN-AMERICANSTUDIES AND HISTORY

AT FORDHAM UNIVERSITY;

A NEW YORK CITYPOLICE OFFICER;

THIS IS A WRITERFOR SUCH BLACK TELEVISION SHOWS

AS THE CHRIS ROCK SHOWAND CHAPPELLE'S SHOW;

OKAY, OUR NEXT CONTESTANT WORKSIN A KOREAN GROCERY STORE;

THIS IS A DJ AND CLAIMSTO HAVE MANY BLACK FRIENDS;

A SOCIAL WORKERIN WILMINGTON, DELAWARE;

MOST OF HIS BOYS HE GOESTO SCHOOL WITH ARE BLACK;

THE BARBER IN BROOKLYNWHO CLAIMS

THAT 100% OF HIS CLIENTSARE BLACK.

LET'S PLAY THE GAME.

WHAT IS A "BADONKADONK"?

- A BADONKADONK.

A BADONKADONKIS, LIKE, A, UH--

A INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE ASS.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- [whispers]A BADONKADONK.

BIG PENIS.

buzz!I DON'T KNOW.

- HE'S TALKINGABOUT MY REAR END, I THINK.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- [laughs]

- YOU DO HAVEA BADONKADONK.

- I MAY HAVE HEARD THATONCE OR TWICE BEFORE, YEAH.

- I'M TELLIN' YOU,WASHINGTON HEIGHTS,

THEY'LL TELL THE COPS,

"GIRL, YOU GOTA BADONKADONK."

- OOH, THAT'S JUNKIN THE TRUNK.

THAT'S WHAT YOU PUTYOUR MUG ON.

YOU SADDLE UP AND RIDE.

THAT'S A BIG...ASS.

ding!- HE IS CORRECT.

JUNK IN THE TRUNK...ding!

WHAT YOU PUT YOUR MUG UP,SADDLE UP AND RIDE,

OR AN ASSARE ALL ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS.

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- WHY DO BLACK PEOPLELOVE MENTHOLS SO MUCH?

- I DON'T--I DON'T KNOW.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- [laughs]ALL RIGHT.

- NOBODY KNOWS.NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE.

- 'CAUSE THAT'SWHAT NEWPORTS ARE?

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- IS IT A FACT THAT THEY LIKEMENTHOL CIGARETTES?

I'M NOT EVEN SURE.

I DON'T KNOW--

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

"I DON'T KNOW."NO ONE KNOWS.

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- ON THE POPULAR SHOW GOOD TIMES,

WHAT DID MR. BOOKMAN DOFOR A LIVING?

- OOH, HE WAS THE HANDYMAN.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- HE WAS THE SUPER.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- LET'S SEE, I DON'T KNOWWHO BOOKMAN WAS ON GOOD TIMES,

SO I'M GONNA HAVETO TAKE A GUESS.

UM...WAS HE A JANITOR?

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

AMAZING.

DID NOT KNOW SEE THE SHOWYET KNOWS

THAT BOOKMANWAS CLEANING UP.

- HE WAS THE JANITOR,

AND HIS NICKNAMEWAS BUFFALO BUTT.

- THAT IS CORRECTAND A BONUS POINT.

- THANK YOU.

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- COULD YOU NAMEANY OF BOOKMAN'S NICKNAMES?

- BOOGER.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- BUFFALO BUTT.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- CHI-CHI?- CHI-CHI?

I AM CHECKING THE JUDGESFOR CHI-CHI.

buzz!I'M SORRY, THAT'S INCORRECT.

- HIS NAME WAS BOOKMAN?

- YES, AND HE WAS FAT.

WHAT DID THEY CALL HIM?

- UH, FAT JANITOR GUY.

buzz!

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- WHY DID BLACK PEOPLEDISTRUST RONALD REAGAN?

- BECAUSE HE WAS WHITE.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- BECAUSE HE WAS WHITE.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- WHY DID BLACK PEOPLEDISTRUST RONALD REAGAN?

BECAUSE HE TOOKALL HIS MONEY.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- BECAUSE HE WASA REPUBLICAN.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

WHY DID BLACK PEOPLEDISTRUST RONALD REAGAN?

- HMM, HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BETRUSTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ding!- HE IS CORRECT.

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- TITO, IS PIMPING EASY?

- NO.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- NO.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- BIG DADDY KANE WOULD SAY,"IT AIN'T EASY."

- "PIMPING AIN'T EASY,"HE IS CORRECT.

- IT'S HARD.

ding!- THAT IS CORRECT.

- ALL RIGHT, I HAVEA HARD TIME WITH IT MYSELF.

- YES, PIMPING, AS A MATTEROF FACT, AIN'T EASY.

IS PIMPING EASY?

- HELL YEAH.ding!

- SOMEHOW THAT IS CORRECT.

[people shouting]BLACK PEOPLE!

- WHOA, THE COMPETITION'SHEATING UP.

BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE,

BECAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACKWITH MORE I KNOW BLACK PEOPLE.

[cheers and applause]

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