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The guys engage in a "Mario Kart"-style race to determine who will lay claim to a free massage chair. (21:14)

PHOTOSHOP GANDALF,MY MAN.

THAT IS SO GOOD.- SO YOU'RE, LIKE--THAT'S A--

YOU'RE A WIZARD, RIGHT?- YEAH.

THAT'S WHAT I MEANT.- "ERECT CHIN PILLS."

I CANNOT WAIT FOR SOMEBODYTO CALL US.

WE'RE GONNA BURN 'EM, RIGHT?- YEAH.

- RIGHT?- IT'S SO FUNNY BECAUSE, LIKE,

YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE A PILLAND MAKE YOUR CHIN BIGGER.

YOU NEED TO HAVE SURGERYFOR THAT.

- RIGHT, YEAH, NO,THAT'S TRUE, BUT, UM,

YOU KNOW, THE JOKE IS THAT"ERECT CHIN"

SOUNDS JUST LIKE "ERECTION".- IT DOES.

- HA HA.YEAH, UH, UH,

BUT ERECTION PILLSACTUALLY WORK.

AND CHIN PILLS DO NOT,AND THAT IS THE JOKE.

[laughs]

- YEAH.

[soprano chorus]

- WHOA, DUDES,CHECK A LOAD OF THIS.

"FREE MASSAGE CHAIR."

WHEN DID THAT GET UP THERE?

- OH, MY GOSH.

THIS THINGIS FREAKING INCREDIBLE.

- I MEAN, THIS CHAIRIS LEGIT, DUDE, AND FOR FREE?

- WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT IS NOWI DON'T HAVE TO MAKE YOU GUYS

WALK ON MY BACK.I'M GONNA CALL THIS GUY.

- YOU DON'T MAKE ME DO THAT.I DO THAT TO MASSAGE MY FEET.

- YEAH, TO BE HONEST, I HATEWALKING ON HIS BACK, MAN,

BECAUSE, LIKE, I'M AFRAIDTHAT I'M GONNA TOOTHPASTE-TUBE

POOP OUT OF HIS BUTT.

- HELLO, YES, I'M CALLINGABOUT THE MASSAGE CHAIR.

YEAH, I WAS WON--

OKAY.

YES. OKAY.THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.UPDATE, UPDATE.

JUST TALKED TO THE GUY.HERE'S THE DEAL.

HE ALREADY PROMISED THE CHAIRTO SOMEBODY.

- [groans]- BUT...

IF WE GET THERE FIRST,THE CHAIR'S OURS.

2:00--THAT'S THE DEADLINE.

- I MEAN,WE GOT AN HOUR LUNCH.

YOU THINK WE CAN MAKE IT?- YEAH.

- [grunts]I KNOW WE CAN.

FRIENDSHIP, POWER,

PERSEVERANCE!

- YEAH!- [humming triumphant music]

- ♪ FRIENDSHIP AND POWER AND - ♪ BA BA BAM BAM BAM

- ♪ PERSEVERANCE

BECAUSE IT WOULD MATCHMY UPSCALE DECOR.

- NO, NO, NO, NO.

IF ANYTHING,IT'S GOING IN MY ROOM,

AND THEN IF YOU GUYS, LIKE,WANNA RESERVE A TIME,

YOU CAN DO SO, UNLESS I'VEALREADY RESERVED A TIME,

IN WHICH CASE,YOU CAN'T DO SO.

- [imitates buzzer]WRONG ANSWER.

WE'RE PUTTING THE CHAIR OUTSIDEBY THE POOL, BABY.

WE'RE GONNA GET SOME MASSAGES...- WHAT?

- WHILE YOU'RE LOOKINGAT THE WATER.

REAL NICE SETUP.TRUST ME.

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT. MWAH!- ARE YOU CRAZY?

THE WATER RIGHT THERE?YOU'RE GONNA GET ELECTROCUTED.

IT SHOULD GO IN MY ROOM,WHICH HAS A VIEW OF THE POOL.

ALSO, YOU'LL HAVE ACCESSTO MY 300-CD-DISC CAROUSEL.

HIT "RANDO", LEAN BACK,JAM-OH-NAY.

- Y'ALL DON'T EVEN KNOWABOUT MY SQUAD!

- GREAT, NOW HE'S YELLING.- OKAY?

'CAUSE I GOT MOVIE POSTERSIN--IN MY ROOM.

SHAZAM, BLUE CHIPS, STEEL,

ALL SHAQ MOVIE POSTERS,MOSTLY,

BECAUSE I THINKHE'S A FANTASTIC ACTOR.

AND ALSO ONE CHRIS MULLINBASKETBALL POSTER.

- I HATE TO PUT MY FOOT DOWN...- NOT A MOVIE.

- BUT I ACTUALLY TALKEDTO THE REAL GUY.

- I THOUGHT THERE WASA CHRIS MULLIN MOVIE.

- SO I THINK THAT THAT MEANSTHAT I HAVE--

- DIBS. OH!- I WAS JUST GONNA SAY DIBS!

- DIBS.- OH, YEAH!

- I HAVE THE ONLY CARTHAT CAN PICK IT UP.

- YOU DID!- HEY!

- OH, YOU DID ITBEFORE I COULD DO IT!

YOU DID IT BEFORE I COULD DO IT!- STOP! WHAT ARE--

DON'T PUSH ME!NOW HE'S IN THERE. GREAT.

- NOT DOING IT.I'M NOT DOING IT.

- BLAKE, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOWHOW TO DRIVE, MAN.

- SHUT UP. YES, I DO.- COME ON.

- LISTEN, YOU WANNA PLAYWITH FIRE, ANDERSON--

[engine turns over]WHOA, TURN THAT OFF!

- JUST PRETENDIT'S CRUIS'N USA

AND YOU'RE 30 MINUTES EARLYFOR YOUR MOVIE.

- OPEN UP!

- HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOWWHAT HE'S DOING.

- AND "R" FOR REALLY FAST.HERE WE GO!

- HEY!- HA HA HA!

- BLAKE, COME ON.[Blake continues laughing]

- COME ON!- I'M DOING IT!

- I'M GONNA KICK--- HEY!

- YOU LET ME IN!- STOP KICKING THE CAR.

- YOU LET ME IN!- STOP KICKING MY CAR!

- AND I'M MOONWALKIN'OUT OF HERE, BABY.

- YOU ARE MESSING WITH MY LIFEAND MY CHAIR!

- YEAH, RIGHT, YOU--- STOP KICKING IT!

I'M GONNA KARATE--

- SEE YA, BYE-BYE.- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

HEY, DUDE, DUDE, DON'T--DO NOT BACK UP ANY MORE!

- OH, YEAH? WHY?'CAUSE YOU WANT THE CAR BACK?

- NO![boom]

- OH, WHAT THE HELL?- AWESOME.

- FREEZE, MOTHER[bleep]!

THIS IS A REAL GUN!IT'S A REAL GUN!

IT'S A REAL GUN!GET UP!

GET UP, GET UP!

IT'S NOT A REAL GUN.IT WAS A HAND.

IT WAS A HAND, OBVIOUSLY,IDIOT.

- OH, WIPE OUT, WIPE OUT,WIPE OUT.

YOU GOTTA GET OUT![woman shrilling]

YEAH, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

- WHOA!YOUR BRAKES DON'T WORK!

WHOA, WHOA!DUDE, CHILL.

I NEED TO CHECK THE BRAKESREALLY QUICK.

PSYCH! I'M STEALING IT.

[laughs]

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

- WHAT THE HELLARE YOU DOING?

- WE'RE APPRECIATING OURSELVES,DICKHEAD!

WHOOOOO!

- GET BACK HERE, SCUMBAGS!

- HA, HA, HA!OUTTA MY WAY, KOOPA TROOPA.

YOSHI COMING THROUGH!

- YOU'RE NOT YOSHI, DUDE.

IN FACT,YOU'RE PRINCESS PEACH.

I'M BOWSER.DERS IS THAT BITCH LUIGI.

[horn blares]- OH!

OH, WHATEVER, DUDE.LUIGI'S COOL!

BUT LET'S FACE THE FACTS,DEMAMP.

YOU'RE TOADSTOOL ALL DAY.

- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

IF I'M NOT BOWSER, I'MDEFINITELY FREAKIN' WARIO!

I'M NO BITCH-ASS TOAD.- I'M NOT EVEN

IN THE SAME GAMEAS YOU BITCHES!

I'M IN DIDDY KONG RACING,BABY!

- WAIT A SECOND,IF WE'RE CHANGING GAMES,

I'M PIERCE BROSNANIN 007.

[energetic rock music]HEADS UP.

- OKAY, FINE, I CAN LIVEWITH ALL THAT,

AS LONG AS I'M WARIO.

- CAN YOU LIVE WITH THIS?

- WHOA!- THANK YOU.

- [laughing]YEAH!

- HEY, BLAZER,YOU BREAK MY 'VO-KART,

I BREAK YOUR GO-KART!

- OH!

THE CHAIR IS MINE, DERS!

I NEED YOU TO BOTTLE YOUR RAGELIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.

- HEY! WHAT THE HELL?

- COME ON.COME ON!

COME ON!

OH.IT'S THE "ON" SWITCH, IT'S--

[motor putters]

- YAGH!- ARGH!

WELL DONE, YOUNG SQUIRE.

PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE METO GET

MEDIEVAL TIMESALL UP IN YOUR B-HOLE.

- YOU WANNA JOUST?

LET'S JOUST!

- YOU'RE NOT GONNA STEALTHIS CHAIR FROM ME

JUST LIKE YOU'VE STOLENEVERYTHING ELSE.

LIKE THAT DRUNK GIRL, HALEY,WHO CAME OVER TO OUR HOUSE,

AND I HAD HER!- WHAT?

- I--- HANG ON A SECOND.

- NO, NO, NO.FORGET IT.

AH, IT'S IN THE PAST.

LET'S JOUST, THOUGH.HA HA!

- ALL RIGHT.

[dramatic drumbeats]- YEAH!

- AAH!- YAH!

- YEAH!- YAH!

[both screaming]

- OH...OH!- OH-OH-OH!

wham!

[both groaning]

- IT'S-A ME, WARIO!

I'M-A GONNA WIN!- NO!

- YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

THAT WAS SICK.- NICE MOVE, NICE MOVE.

I USED TO, UH,I USED TO DO MOVES MYSELF.

- HEY, DUDE, HANG ON, MAN.

WE'RE TRYING TO GETSOME FOOTY, BRO.

- SORRY, PIMPIN'.I GOT A MASSAGE CHAIR TO GET.

- WHAT CAN I GET YOU, BUD?

- I'M GONNA NEED THREENEAPOLITAN ICE CREAM SANDWICHES

AND A RIDE.

THERE'S $7 THERE.

- COME ON.

- [grunts]

[techno music]

[horn blares]

- YO, YO, YO, I NEED TWO LARGEPEPPERONI PIZZAS

DELIVERED TO 14934ISABEL STREET.

- OKAY.- MATTER OF FACT, ERASE THAT.

JUST WHATEVER THE FASTEST PIZZAYOU CAN MAKE IS.

- I GOT RAW PIZZA.THAT'S PRETTY FAST.

TAKES, LIKE,A COUPLE MINUTES.

- RAW PIZZA?- YEAH.

IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD.

IT'S ALMOST LIKEREGULAR PIZZA,

BUT IT'S, LIKE,MORE RAWER.

- UH, WELL, UM,

THINK I COULD GETTWO OF THOSE?

- [laughs]UH, YEA-UH.

- [laughs]- THAT COULD WORK.

- ALL RIGHT.- YOU WANT ANYTHING ELSE?

- UH, NOPE,JUST THE TWO PIZZAS.

- OKAY, COOL.- OOH OOH OOH! WAIT, WHOA.

LET ME GET SOME OF THATCHEESY BREADSTICKS.

- WELL, I CAN HOOK THAT UP TOO.- COOL.

- DO YOU GOT SOME--ANYTHING ELSETO GO WITH THIS?

- I'LL SUCK YOUR [bleep].

- YOU GONNA SUCK MY [bleep]?- I WILL.

- I'LL THROW IN AN EXTRABREADSTICK FOR THAT.

- LET'S GO!COME ON, RAMON.

YOU HELP ME GETTHAT MASSAGE CHAIR,

YOU'RE LOOKING AT A LIFETIMEOF FREE MASSAGES, MY MAN.

UNLESS I'M ALREADY SIGNED UPFOR THAT MASSAGE TIME,

IN WHICH CASE, YOU KNOW,YOU'LL HAVE TO FIGURE

SOMETHING ELSE OUT.I WISH YOU HAD NEAPOLITAN

ICE CREAM--- HELLO, BOYS!

- HEY--COME ON!- LATER, SKATER.

- LET'S GO, RAMON!

WHO YOU CALLINGA SKATER, DUDE?

YOU'RE THE SKATER.

- AU CONTRAIRE, MON DICKHEAD.

I'M A RIPSTIKER.

- LOOK WHO'S WINNING.- WAIT.

- SPECIAL DELIVERY!

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?- AGH!

- QUIT SKITCHING,YOU BITCH.

WHERE'D YOU GET A CAR?

- UP YOUR BUTTAND AROUND THE CORNER.

UGH!

- OH!

- WHOA!- [laughing hysterically]

I HOPE YOU LIKE PEPPERONI!

[tires screech]WHOAAAAGH!

NO, NO, JO,YOU GOTTA KEEP GOING

TO THE FINISH LINE!

DELIVER ME!

- WHAT THE HELLIS WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU DON'T THROW FOODOUT OF MY WINDOW.

- YOU DON'T TELL MEWHAT TO DO!

I PAID YOUFOR YOUR SERVICES.

NOW I'M BASICALLY YOUR BOSS.NOW DRIVE!

- OH, GET THE [bleep] OUTBEFORE I BEAT YOUR SKINNY ASS.

- WHAT ABOUT THE WEED?- OH, MY GOD.

- DO ME A SOLID.- I'M GONNA THROAT PUNCH YOU.

WHERE IS MY BELT?- YOU ARE A PSYCHOPATH.

YOU KNOW THAT?YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE SUCKS ASS.

- GIMME THOSE! GIMME THOSE!- SCREW YOU! THESE ARE MINE.

[tires screeching]WHOA, WHOA!

- AND GUESS WHAT.YOU SUCK AT SUCKING [bleep].

GOOD PHASE TWO, BEEZER.

- THANK YOU, THANK YOU,THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW,I'VE HAD A SUBSCRIPTION

TO FANGORIA MAGAZINEFOR QUITE A WHILE NOW,

AND, YOU KNOW,YOU PICK UP SOME TRICKS

AND TIPS FROM HERE AND THEREAND TIME TO TIME.

OKAY, ADAM, WOULD YOU--DON'T EAT THE BONE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?- SORRY.

I JUST WANTED TO SEEWHAT IT TASTES LIKE.

- COME ON, MAN!- YO, DUDES, DUDES, DUDES!

- TASTES LIKE GARLIC BREAD.- HERE HE COMES.

LIGHT TURNED GREEN--LET'S GO.GO TIME.

- OKAY, SHOWTIME.MOAN, MOAN A LOT.

- YES, YES, OKAY.[moaning sensuously] OHH.

OH, GOD, HELP.

- HEY.- I'VE BEEN HIT BY A CAR.

- ADAM, LESS SEXUAL,MORE PAIN.

- YEAH, NO, THIS IS MY PAIN.

IF YOU HEARD MY SEX NOISES,

YOU'D BUSTIN YOUR DRAWERS, DUDE.

- OF COURSE WE WOULD.NOW FOCUS!

- OH!

OH, GOD, HELP!OH, HELP ME.

- AH, SHOOT, MAN.YOU ALL RIGHT?

- OH, I WAS HIT BY A CAR,AND IT JUST DROVE AWAY.

- IS THAT YOUR BONE?- OH, EVERYTHING HURTS.

- OH, THAT'S--THAT'S TERRIBLE.ALL RIGHT, LOOK.

I'M GONNA CALL--- I DID A LOT OF RUNNING EARLIER

SO I'VE GOT SOME SORENESSIN MY QUADS AS WELL.

- HEY, 911, YEAH, THERE'S A--I HAVE AN EMERGENCY.

UM, THERE'S A GUYON THE--ON THE ROAD,

AND, UH, AND THERE'S, UH,UH, UM,

CARS DRIVING BY.HE GOT HIT.

- [moaning]OH, GOD.

- I DON'T KNOW,I'M NOT A DOCTOR,

BUT HIS--IT LOOKS LIKEIT'S HIS ARM.

IT'S--THERE'S A--THERE'S A--

A BONE JAGGING OUT,AND IT'S BL--

IT'S GOT BLOOD AND STUFFALL OVER IT.

I-I DON'T KNOW.YOU WANT--

YOU WANT METO APPLY PRESSURE?

YEAH, I DON'T WANTTO TOUCH IT, BUT--

- OH, IT HURTS.- ALL RIGHT.

I GOTTA APPLY PRESSURE.

I GOT SOME TOWELSIN MY TRUCK.

JUST DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT.

- OH, NO! NO!NO TOWELS!

PLEASE, NO TOWELS!

- DERS.- WHAT'S UP, DUDE?

- CHECK IT OUT,CHECK IT OUT.

GOT YOUR PHONE. BAZINGA.- I DON'T CARE.

JUST GRAB THE ROPE, OKAY?- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

- OH, THE PRESSURE.IT HURTS SO MUCH.

- HE SAYS IT HURTS TOO MUCH.

- I'M PARCHED.[gags]

OH, I NEED SOME ELECTROLYTES.

SOME BUDWEISER ENERGY,MAYBE SOME "B",

"B" TO THE "E"AT THE STORE DOWN THERE.

IF YOU COULD RUNTO THE STORE DOWN THERE--

- LOOK, THE LADY SAYSIF I DON'T APPLY PRESSURE,

YOU'RE GONNA DIE.- IS THAT WHAT THE LADY SAYS?

TELL THAT LADY TO...

SUCK A [bleep]!

- AND THEN HE JUST RAN AWAY.

YEAH, HE RAN OFF.

I DON'T KNOW,EATING HIS ARM.

IT'S LIKE THAT MOVIE, YEAH,WITH THE ZOMBIE--

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, YEAH,EXACTLY LIKE THAT.

- OH, YES!- ALL RIGHT!

- YEAH, WE DID IT!- WE GOT A CHAIR!

ELBOW.

- YEAH!- WE DID IT!

OH, MY GOD, YOU SEE ME ACTINGWITH THAT DUDE?

I WAS ACTING SO HARD.

- WE'RE GONNA LOWER HER DOWN,BABY.

- PUT HER DOWN.- HERE SHE COMES.

- ALL RIGHT, NICE AND EASY.

IT'S A PRECIOUS CARGO HERE.

NICE...

- WHAT A BEAUTY.

CAN'T WAIT TO SHARE HERWITH YOU GUYS.

- YEAH.- IT'S A DELICATE MACHINE.

- I LOVE YOU AGAIN.

[horn blares]OH, HEY, PULL IT UP!

- NO, NO, NO!- OH, NO!

- NO, NO!

[all screaming at once]

- [beat-boxing]

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