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Informative Murder Porn

The boys use the game of MINECRAFT as a distraction to keep their parents from hurting each other. (21:31)

>> UNLESS WE COME TOGETHER AS A

COUNTRY AND HELP REFUGEES.

>> BOOO, WENDY, TESS TESTABURGER.

>> THEY ARE IN NEED OF NATIONAL

PROTECTION.

>> BOOO, WENDY.

>> THE VAST MAJORITY OF REFUGEES

WILL BENEFIT FROM --

>> BOOO, WENDY.

LIAR.

>> IN STEAD OF BOOOING MY

OPINION WHY DON'T YOU MAKE A

CONSTRUCTIVE ARGUMENT.

>> NO ONE KNOWS WHAT A REFUGEE

IS.

>> BOOO.

BOOO.

>> MR. GARRISON CAN YOU DO

SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, PLEASE?

MR. GARRISON.

>> SORRY, WENDY.

NICELY DONE.

THANK YOU.

NEXT REPORT LET'S HAVE PETER

MULLEN.

>> UGH, JESUS.

>> MY REPORT IS ON THE VIAL AND

DESPICABLE TRASH OUR PARENTS ARE

WATCHING ON TELEVISION.

FELLOW STUDENTS, THERE'S A

PLAGUE OF SMUT ON OUR CABLE

BOXES.

SHOWS THAT FIGURE REENACTMENTS

OF UNSOLVED CRIMES AND SPOUSAL

HOMICIDE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT MURDER PORN.

>> MURDER PORN?

>> THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

>> ACCORDING TO THE NEILSON

RATINGS VIEWERSHIP IN SHORES

LIKE COLD CASE FILES, DATE LINE

MURDER AND DEADLY AFFAIRS IS SKY

ROCKETING AMONG MARRIED COUPLES

AND BROUGHT ON A NEW SLEW OF

SHOWS THAT USE GRAPHIC SEX AND

INNUENDO TO MAKE IT MORE

TITILLATING LIKE SINFUL SECRET

AND ON THE CASE WITH PAULA ZAHN

AND IT'S SMUT AND GARBAGE AND

IT'S TRASH!

YOUR PARENTS ARE WATCHING THIS

STUFF.

GO HOME AND ASK THEM.

AND AS WE ASK THEM WE MUST ASK

OURSELVES IF THEY'RE OBSESSED

WITH THIS STUFF THEN HOW LONG.

HOW LONG BEFORE ONE OF OUR

DADDY'S DRESSED UP IN LINGERIE

AND BASHES MOMMY'S HEAD IN WITH

A BRICK?

[ CLAPPING ]

[ KNOCKING ]

>> WHO IS THAT?

IT'S PROBABLY STAN.

COME ON, BUD.

HEY, STAN, WHAT'S UP.

>> HIS WIFE IS HAVING SEX WITH

THE NEIGHBOR AND WHEN HER

HUSBAND COMES HOME HE WANTS MORE

THAN JUST A DIVORCE.

>> YOU GUYS ARE WATCHING MURDER

PORN?

>> MURDER PORN?

STAN, THIS IS JUST AN

INVESTIGATIVE CRIME SHOW.

>> I DON'T LIKE DOCUMENTARIES.

>> YEAH, STAN.

THESE ARE BASED ON REAL THINGS

LIKE NEWS.

IT'S INFORMATIVE.

PARENTS LIKE INFORMATIVE STUFF.

>> OKAY.

>> WE MISSED THE MURDER?

DID HE CUT THEM UP?

>> WHAT'S UP, DUDE?

>> DUDE, YOU KNOW AARON HAGAN?

>> YEAH, THE FIRST-GRADER?

>> YOU SHOULD COME DOWN TO HIS

HOUSE.

HIS DAD JUST KILLED HIS MOM.

>> WHAT?

[ SIRENS ]

[ WAILING ]

[ SCREAMING ]

>> HEY, THAT KID SHOULD NOT BE

SEEING THIS.

[ CRYING ]

>> WHAT HAPPENED?

>> YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE.

LET ME GO.

IT WASN'T ME I TELL YOU.

A BURGLAR BROKE IN.

HE WAS BLACK.

HE STABBED THAT NAGGING BITCH IN

HER FACE.

HE WAS BLACK!

>> GUYS, GUYS, I KNOW WE'RE ALL

CONCERNED BUT VERY TO WORK

TOGETHER.

>> HOW IS THIS STUFF ALLOWED TO

STAY ON THE AIR?

>> THE POLICE FOUND HOURS AND

HOURS OF MURDER PORN ON THE

HAGAN'S DVR.

WHAT MORE DO WE NEED.

>> I CALLED THEM ABOUT THE SMUT

AND THEY TOLD ME IF I DIDN'T

WANT MY PARENTS WATCHING I

SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME WITH

THEM.

LIKE IT'S MY FAULT.

>> IT'S THE RESULT OF A BROKEN

SOCIETY IN WHICH PROFIT COMES

BEFORE MORALS.

>> BOOO.

BOOO, WENDY TESTABURGER, BOOO.

>> I KNOW WE FEEL OUR HANDS ARE

TIED BUT WE CAN DO SOMETHING

ABOUT THIS.

THERE'S AN APP TO ALLOW KIDS TO

BLOCK THINGS THEIR PARENTS WATCH

ON TELEVISION AND IT'S PASSWORD

PROTECT WILL WITH A SECURITY

CODE ONLY A CHILD WOULD KNOW.

>> TONIGHT AT 10:00 IT'S THE

TALE OF LOVE AND SEDUCTION AND

MURDER AND THEN SOUTHERN FRIED

HOMICIDE.

BUT NOW GET READY FOR LUST,

BETRAYAL AND MURDER ON HOT LOAD

CASE FILES

>> OH, YEAH, THREE OF THE BEST

SHOWS IN A ROW.

>> IS THE LUBE OVER THERE?

>> IT'S OVER HERE.

>> GET OVER HERE, BIG GUY.

>> YEAH.

>> WHAT THE -- WHAT THE HELL?

YEAH, HI.

WE AREN'T GETTING OUR

INFORMATIVE MURDER PORN.

NO, NONE OF THE CHANNELS WITH

INFORMATIVE MURDER PORN APPEAR

TO BE WORKING.

THE SCREEN SAYS HOW DO YOU TAME

A HORSE IN MINECRAFT.

YES, WE DO HAVE CHILDREN.

A WHAT?

A PARENTAL LOCK?

STAN!

STAN!

HOW DO YOU TAKE A HORSE IN

MINECRAFT?

>> WHAT?

>> WHAT IS MINECRAFT AND HOW DO

YOU TAME A HORSE IN IT.

>> YOU GUYS DON'T NEED TO BE

WATCHING THAT STUFF.

>> COME ON, YOU CAN'T BLOCK YOUR

PARENTS FROM WATCHING

INFORMATIVE MURDER PORN.

THINK IF WE WATCH SHOWS ABOUT

MARRIED PEOPLE KILLING EACH

OTHER WE'LL DO IT?

THAT'S STUPID.

I'M NOT GOING TO GO OUT AND KILL

YOUR MOM BECAUSE I WATCH

INVESTIGATIVE DISCOVERY.

IT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE TO CLEAR THE

DNA.

I'D HAVE TO KILL THE PERSON I

HIRED TOO BECAUSE 99% OF THE

TIME THEY TELL.

I THOUGHT THIS THROUGH.

YOU'RE A LOUSY KID

I WISH JADEN SMITH WAS MY SON!

>> WHO DO OUR CHILDREN THINK

THEY ARE BLOCKING OUR TV

CONTENT.

>> HOW ARE THEY ABLE TO DO THIS

WITH THEIR SMARTPHONES.

>> IT'S ALL RIGHT.

THE THINK THEY OUTSMARTED OUT

BUT WE PAY THEM.

CAN THEY REMOVE IT?

>> NO, THEY DID THE USUAL CABLE

COMPANY RUNAROUND.

>> WE'LL SEE.

EXCUSE ME, OUR CONTENT IS BEING

BLOCKED AND WE NEED IT NOW.

>> SORRY, SIR, IF YOU NEED IT

NOW PERHAPS YOU SHOULD SWITCH TO

ANOTHER CABLE COMPANY.

OH , THERE'S NOT ANOTHER CABLE

COMPANY IS THERE?

THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE THE ONLY ONE

IN TOWN.

>> LOOK, IF OUR KIDS CAN BLOCK

CONTENT THEN MUST BE ABLE TO

BLOCK THEM.

>> AS WE TOLD THE OTHER SIR WE

CAN FIX IT BUT WE JUST NEED TO

SEND A TECHNICIAN TO YOUR HOUSE

TO CHANGE OUT THE CABLE BOX.

>> GREAT.

>> WE JUST NEED A WINDOW OF TIME

TO BE HOME HOW ABOUT BETWEEN

3:00 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M. ALL OF

NOVEMBER.

>> NO, I CAN'T.

>> THAT'S TOO BAD.

YOU HAVE TO BE HOME FOR THE

TECHNICIAN.

CAN YOU GO TO DIRECT TV?

>> I CAN'T AFFORD DIRECT TV.

>> GEEZ, THAT'S TERRIBLE.

I GUESS HAVE YOU TO WORK WITHIN

OUR TIME WINDOWS.

>> WELL, ANY LUCK?

>> NO, JUST THE USUAL CABLE

COMPANY STUFF.

>> OH, WELL, I GUESS WE'LL HAVE

TO LIVE WITHOUT OUR INFORMATIVE

CRIME DRAMAS

>> SCREW THAT.

CAN WE LEARN THIS MINECRAFT GAME

TO GET AROUND OUR KID'S PARENTAL

LOCK.

>> I TRIED.

IT'S UNLIKE OTHER VIDEO GAMES

I DON'T GET IT IT'S ALL RETRO

LIKE LEGOS AND KIDS ONLINE

CALLED ME A GRIFER AND KICKED ME

OFF.

>> WE CAN LEARN.

THERE'S TALK OF A CHILD THAT

HE'LL TEACH MINECRAFT TO ANYBODY

FOR THE RIGHT PRICE.

[ KNOCKING ]

>> HELLO?

>> HI.

CORY LANSKIN?

>> YES.

>> WE HEARD THAT YOU'RE WILLING

TO TEACH MINECRAFT TO ADULTS?

>> [BLEEP] OFF!

[ DOOR SLAMS ]

[ KNOCKING ]

>> WE WERE TOLD YOU'RE AVAILABLE

FOR HIRE AND WE'RE DESPERATE.

>> YOU HAVE IT ALL ON, MISSER.

I'M A SIMPLE KIT WITH A SIMPLE

PASSION FOR SIMPLE THINGS.

>> WE HAVE 100 OUNCES OF SILVER.

>> WIPE YOUR FEET AND TURN OFF

YOUR CELL PHONES.

NOW, WE'RE GOING SELECT AN EMPTY

ROOM.

SELECTING AN EMPTY WELL WILL

BEGIN YOU BEING DROPPED ON THE

BEACH.

YOU'RE ROAM AROUND AND START

PUNCHING TREES.

>> PUNCHING TREES?

>> WHY WOULD WE PUNCH TREES?

>> JUST USE YOUR [BLEEP]ING

BRAIN.

HOW DO YOU GET WOOD?

HOW DO YOU GET WOOD?

>> WATCHING INFORMATIVE MURDER

PORN?

>> NO, IN THE MINECRAFT FOREST

HOW DO YOU GET WOOD?

>> PUNCHING TREES?

>> RIGHT.

YOU PUNCH THE TREE TO GET THE

WOOD.

YOU GET THE WOOD TO BUILD THE

CABIN.

>> OH, I SEE.

WHEN DOES THE GAME START?

>> YOU ARE PLAYING THE GAME.

THIS IS THE GAME.

>> I DON'T GET IT.

>> THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR THINK

LIKE A DAD.

MINECRAFT DON'T HAVE NO WINNER.

NO OBJECTIVE YOU'RE JUST

BUILDING SHIT AND SEEING IF

OTHER THINGS CAN KNOCK IT DOWN.

NOW, LET'S CLICK ON THE

INVENTORY AND BUILD IT.

>> I'M GETTING IT NOW.

>> YOU ARE?

>> NO.

>> RANDY, IT'S GETTING LATE.

LET'S JUST GO TO SLEEP.

>> I ALMOST GOT IT SHARON

I FOUND OUT WHERE THE HORSE IS

NOW I JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT

HOW TO TAME ONE.

>> I'M NOT IN THE MOOD NOW

ANYWAY.

>> I MISSING INTIMATE WITH YOU.

EVERYTHING WAS PASSIONATE AND

DROPPED OFF.

>> WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE SEX FOR

OUR RELATIONSHIP TO BE GOOD

>> I KNOW BUT IT'S LIKE WE'RE

GOOD FRIENDS.

A MARRIAGE HAS TO BE MORE.

IT HAS TO HAVE FULFILLMENT OF

FANTASY AND DESIRE SOMETIMES.

MAGNACUBE?

WHAT IS THAT?

>> I'M GOING SLEEP.

>> I'LL WAKE YOU UP IF WE GET

OUR MURDER PORN BACK.

>> THE HE IS.

HEY, THE PARENTAL LOCK ISN'T

WORK.

OUR PARENTS ARE WATCHING MURDER

IMPORTANT.

>> HOW DO YOU KNOW?

>> I K SAW THEM WATCHING IT.

>> THEY BROKE THE PARENTAL LOCK.

>> THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

DID YOU SET IT UP RIGHT?

>> BETTER GET OVER HERE.

BUTTER'S DAD KILLED HIS MOM.

[ SOBBING ]

>> BUTTER, WHAT HAPPENED?

>> I WAS OUT BY THE LAKE AND I

SAW MY DAD OUT IN THIS FIELD.

HE WAS HOLDING SUGAR CANE.

IT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE BECAUSE HE

HAD A HAMMER.

I SAW HIM TAKE MY MOM AND YELLED

WATCH OUT BUT SHE FELL.

>> WAIT.

YOU MEAN IN MINECRAFT?

>> YEAH, THEN MY DAD WENT

BERSERK AND THREW ME DOWN A

WELL.

I WAS TRAPPED DOWN THERE ALL

NIGHT.

>> YOUR DAD THREW YOU DOWN A

WELL?

>> IN MINECRAFT.

>> WHAT'S THAT?

>> I WAS ABLE TO HOIST MYSELF

OUT.

IT WAS LIKE I WAS FROZEN IF THE

LAKE HE HAD NO IDEA HOW TO SWIM

OUT OF IT.

IT WAS TERRIBLE.

>> THAT'S IT.

THAT'S HOW OUR PARENTS BROKE THE

PASS CODE.

I NEVER THOUGHT ANYONE WOULD

STOOP SO SLOW.

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>> SOMEBODY'S TEACHING OUR

PARENTS MINECRAFT.

[ KNOCKING ]

>> HAD AN INCIDENT LAST NIGHT.

WONDER IF YOU SAW OR HEARD

ANYTHING?

>> NO, WHAT HAPPENED.

>> SOMEONE BROKE INTO YOUR NEXT

DOOR NEIGHBOR'S BACKYARD AND

PUNCHED HIS TREES.

>> PUNCHED HIS TREES?

>> YES, ACROSS THE STREET

SOMEONE BUILT A CABIN.

>> THAT'S WEIRD.

>> WHAT WERE YOU DOING LAST

NIGHT?

>> I WAS JUST PLAYING MINE -- MY

BANJO.

>> I PLAY THE BANJO TOO.

WELL, THANKS FOR YOUR TIME, SIR.

YOU MAY WANT TO KEEP THE LIGHTS

ON IN YOUR YARD TONIGHT IN CASE

SOMEONE TRIES TO BUILD A CABIN

ON IT AS WELL.

>> WILL DO, OFFICER.

WILL DO.

>> CALM DOWN.

I KNOW WE'RE ALL CONCERNED.

>> CONCERNED?

THANKS TO YOU AND YOUR STUPID

APP PARENTS ARE STILL WATCHING

MURDER PORN AND NOW SCREWING UP

MINECRAFT TOO.

>> I SPENT THREE HOURS TRYING TO

GET MY PARENTS TO STOP CREATE MY

CASTLE.

WHY DID WE AGREE TO THE STUPID

APP?

>> WE'RE TRYING TO KEEP OUR

PARENTS FROM WATCHING MURDER

PORN.

>> WHY?

BECAUSE ONE KID'S DAD KILLED HIS

MOM?

FOR ALL WE KNOW THEY WERE DOING

DRUGS FOR YEAR.

MAYBE MURDER PORN HAD TO DO WITH

IT.

>> I AGREE WITH CARTMAN.

>> BOOO, WENDY, BOOO.

>> IT'S TRUE.

MAYBE WE NEED TO TRUST OUR

PARENTS WON'T ACT OUT WHAT THEY

S

SEE.

>> THAT'S ENOUGH.

COME ON OUT AND THERE WON'T BE

ANY TROUBLE.

GIVE IT UP.

YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO RUN.

>> HUH?

>> I'LL NEVER GIVE UP.

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER DOING

THIS.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

>> NICE ONE.

YOU'RE CASTLE [BLEEP]ING SUCKS.

>> GO TO HELL YOU GRIFER.

>> ALL RIGHT.

WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

[ KNOCKING ]

>> HELLO?

>> CORY LANSKIN?

>> YES.

>> WE HEARD YOU MIGHT BE

TEACHING MINECRAFT TO ADULTS.

>> WHASSA MINECRAFT?

>> WE'RE TRYING TO KEEP OUR

PARENTS AWAY FROM GRAPHIC

TELEVISION SHOWS.

IT COULD BE A MATTER OF LIFE AND

DEATH.

>> DON'T BE ANGRY.

MY MOMMY ALWAYS ANGRY.

GET BACK IN THE MEAT LOCKER.

SHE LOVES ME, RIGHT?

MOMMY LOVES ME?

>> I GUESS WE HAVE THE WRONG

HOUSE, KID.

>> OKAY.

BYE.

>> WHAT, DUDE?

>> SOMETHING HE SAID.

DID YOU HEAR HIM?

HE SAID OUCHIE, OUCHIE MOMMY

RAPE MY NO NO.

IF I'D BE CAUGHT LYING THAT'S

EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD HAVE SAID.

>> NOW THAT YOU BUILT A

WORKBENCH IT'S TIME TO BUILD

SOMETHING TO TAKE CARE OF THE

[BLEEP].

STOP USING YOUR GROWN UP BRAINS.

>> AHA!

>> SON OF A BITCH.

DON'T YOU THINK THERE ARE ENOUGH

GRIFERS IN THE WORLD WITHOUT OUR

PARENTS BEING SHOWN THIS STUFF.

>> A KID NEEDS TO MAKE A LIVING,

DON'T WE?

>> WE WERE USING MINECRAFT FROM

STOPPING OUR PARENTS FROM

WATCHING SPOUSAL HOMICIDE SHOWS.

>> LIKE INVESTIGATIVE DISCOVERY?

>> YOU HAVE SEEN THIS STUFF?

>> TRUE CRIME AND REAL SICK

SHIT.

YOUR PARENTS WITH WATCH THAT

STUFF.

>> WE PUT A STOP TO IT UNTIL YOU

TAUGHT THEM MINE CRAFT.

>> ONE OR TWO MIGHT ACT OUT BUT

CABLE TELEVISION.

PEOPLE COPY EVERYTHING ON CABLE

YOU WANTS TO PROTECT YOUR

FAMILY, YOU'LL HAVE TO GO FIGHT

THE CABLE COMPANY.

>> HEY, GUYS.

CAN YOU HELP?

YOU

>> HELLO.

THERE ARE CERTAIN NETWORKS WE

SEE AS HARMFUL TO OUR FAMILIES

AND WE WANT THEM REMOVED,

PLEASE?

>> YOU DON'T WANT CABLE ANY

MORE?

>> NO, NO, JUST I.D. NETWORK, A

& E AND OPRAH'S NETWORK.

ALL THE ONES WITH MURDER PORN.

>> YOU DON'T LIKE PAYING FOR THE

CHANNELS?

THEY PACKAGE THEM TOGETHER.

>> CAN YOU UNPACKAGE THEM?

>> OUR COMPANY DOESN'T WORK THAT

WAY.

YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU THE

NUMBER OF A DIFFERENT CABLE

COMPANY -- OH, WAIT, WE'RE IT,

AREN'T WE?

DANG IT.

GET YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH OUR

PACKAGES.

>> CAN WE TALK TO YOUR

SUPERVISOR, PLEASE?

>> SURE, DAVID.

>> IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE?

>> THE WANT SPECIFIC NETWORKS

DROPPED FROM OUR CABLE.

>> YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THE

BUNDLE NOT JUST FOR WHAT YOU

WANT TO WATCH.

>> YOU MEAN WE'RE FORCED TO PAY

FOR THE OPRAH CHANNEL?

>> YOU DON'T WANT TO VIEWED TO

SHUT THE CABLE ALTOGETHER.

>> FINE.

>> MITCH, WHEN CAN YOU GET OUT

TO SHUT OFF CABLE BOXES.

>> MAN, IT'S GOING TO BE THREE

WEEKS.

THERE'S A WHOLE PLUG I HAVE TO

PULL OUT.

IT'S LIKE FOUR INCHES LONG.

>> THREE WEEKS, HUH?

IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU GUYS?

>> NO, THAT'S WAY TOO LONG.

>> GEEZ, THAT'S TERRIBLE.

>> GODDAMNIT I JUST DON'T WANT

MY PARENTS TO MURDER EACH OTHER.

CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE JUST TRYING

TO KEEP OUR FAMILIES SAFE.

I DON'T KNOW IN SEEING COUPLES

MURDER EACH OTHER ON TELEVISION

WILL MAKE OUR PARENTS DO IT AND

WE PROBABLY CAN'T STOP THEM FROM

WATCHING WHAT THEY WANT TO WATCH

WE'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT

MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE CABLE

MAKES IT SO CONVENIENT.

IF THEY DIDN'T HAVE EASY ACCESS

THEY'D BE BUMMED OUT BUT IT'S

NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO GIVE

THEM WHAT THEY WANT, IS IT?

>> HEY, SAY THE LAST PART AGAIN?

>> WHAT?

>> WHAT WAS THE LAST PART YOU

SAID?

>> I SAID IT'S NOT OUR

RESPONSIBILITY TO GIVE THEM WHAT

THEY WANT.

>> THE PART ABOUT YOUR PARENTS

GOT GETTING THE CHANNELS EASILY.

>>I SAID IT WOULD BUM THEM OUT.

>> HOW MUCH WOULD IT BUM THEM

OUT?

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE

STAND BY FOR A MESSAGE FROM THE

PRESIDENT OF YOUR CABLE COMPANY.

>> IN AN EFFORT TO STOP IS THE

CRIES OF CHILDREN IN THE AREA

CUSTOMERS STILL WISHING TO CREW

TRUE CRIME NETWORKS WILL HAVE TO

PURCHASE A SEPARATE PACKAGE WILL

WILL REQUIRE SERVICE EVERY NIGHT

AND THE PURCHASE OF 300 CHANNELS

IN PORTUGUESE.

WE REALIZE IT MAY BE AN

INCONVENIENCE WE HOPE YOU VOICE

ALL YOUR CONCERNS TO US BECAUSE

AT YOUR LOCAL COMPANY THE

CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS OUR BITCH.

>> JADEN SMITH LETS HIS PARENTS

DO WHATEVER THEY WANT.

YOU KNOW WHAT, THE GUYS AT WORK

TOOK A BET ON WHO WOULD WIN IN A

FIGHT YOU OR JADEN SMITH AND

EY SAID JADEN SMITH.

HE CAN KICK YOUR ASS.

>> MAYBE YOU SHOULD LIVE WITH

JADEN SMITH, DAD.

>> I WISH I COULD SO I'D BE

RICH.

I WOULDN'T HAVE TO LIVE IN A

BORING SEXLESS MARRIAGE WHERE

ALL WE DO IS PISS EACH OTHER

OFF.

CRAP.

SHARON, I'M SORRY.

>> NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, RANDY.

WITHOUT ANY SEX WE JUST SEEM TO

GET MADDER AND MADDER.

>> YOU'RE RIGHT, SHARON.

WE DON'T NEED MURDER PORN FOR

PASSION IN OUR MARRIAGE.

WE NEED THE SPARK BACK.

LET'S GO AWAY, ME AND YOU.

SOME WHERE EXCITING AND

BEAUTIFUL TO FOCUS ON US.

SHARON?

HEY, SHARON, ARE YOU HERE?

>> I'M HERE, RANDY.

>> IT'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT

>> COME OVER HERE.

I BUILT US AFIRE.

>> LOOK WHAT I GOT YOU.

>> DIAMONDS.

THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

>> THOUGHT I'D SURPRISE YOU AND

THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME

FROM.

>> I HAVE A SURPRISE TOO, RANDY.

>> OH, YEAH, WHAT'S THAT?

SHARON WHAT THE [BLEEP]ING

[BLEEP] WAS THAT?

>> SORRY, I COULDN'T RESIST.

>> JESUS, YOU STUCK A PICKAX IN

MY SKULL.

>> I DID.

THAT FELT GREAT.

>> FELT GREAT?

>> YEAH.

>> HOLD ON, STAY BY THE LAKE.

I WANT TO KILL YOU NOW.

OH, MY GOD YOU PUT THAT SWORD

RIGHT THROUGH MY FACE.

>> IT FELT SO GOOD.

>> MY TURN AGAIN.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF MURDERING

YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.

CAN YOU GET TO THE CABIN AND GET

IN BED.

>> I'M GOING NOW.

>> YOU LAZY JERK, YOU NEVER DO

ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE.

>> YOU BITCH.

I LOVE YOU.

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