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Game Over

A man falls in love with an artificial vagina, Roy becomes obsessed with a video game, and a cult leader struggles to keep his followers interested in his revelations. (21:10)

- HI.- [yelps]

WHAT THE HELL?

HELLO?

- WHY DON'T YOU EVER TAKE MEOUT TO DINNER?

- SINCE WHEN CAN YOU TALK?

- THIS IS THE FIRST TIMEI'VE OFFICIALLY SPOKEN.

- "OFFICIALLY"?

- I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU.

- WHAT?YOU'RE NOT A PERSON.

YOU'RE JUST A--

- JUST A WHAT, ANDREW?

- HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?- CALL ME VERONICA.

WHY DON'T YOU EVER TELL MEHOW YOUR DAY WAS?

- I DON'T KNOW.I FIGURED YOU WOULDN'T CARE.

I--AND YOU'RE NOTA REAL PERSON!

- IF I WASN'T REAL,

WOULD I BE ABLETO DO THIS?

[laughs]

- [moaning]

- THERE'S MOREWHERE THAT CAME FROM.

NOW LET'S GO TO DINNER.

- ANYWHERE YOU WANT.

- YAH.WHAT A HEADACHE.

WHO AM I?

I-I DON'T REMEMBERANYTHING!

WAAAH!

A TABLE!A NOTE!

"DEAR RANDY--"

UGH! RANDY ISA TERRIBLE NAME.

"THERE IS ONLY ONE THINGI KNOW FOR SURE.

TURN OVER."

I'M AN ASSHOLE CALLED RANDY?

THIS IS SHIT!

[bleep] YOU, WOODEN TABLE!

[grunts, screams]

WAIT.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BELIKE THIS.

[cheerful whistled tune]I CAN CHANGE!

TODAY I AM GOING TO BEA GREAT MAN!

LIFE IS WONDERFUL.

- HEY, SPARE SOME CHANGE,MISTER?

- OF COURSE, MY GOOD MAN.

- WOW! THANKS, MISTER!

I ASK YOU EVERY DAY,BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

YOU EVER GAVE ME ANYTHING.

TO BE HONEST,I-I ALWAYS THOUGHT

YOU WERE SORT OF AN ASSHOLE.

[record scratches]- [gasps]

WELL, NOT TODAY.

TODAY WE'RE GOINGTO HAVE FUN

AND BE JOYFUL!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

JUST NAME IT.ANYTHING!

- ANYTHING?

[both laughing]

[video game beeping]

[tattoo gun buzzing]

[laughing wildly]

[laughter continues]

[baby crying]

- LOOK AT THE [bleep] SUNSET![laughing]

IT'S SO [bleep] BEAUTIFUL!

- [chuckling]

- YOU KNOW,IT'S BEEN A PERFECT DAY.

I REALLY FEELLIKE A NEW MAN.

I DON'T NEEDTHAT STUPID NOTE ANYMORE.

I'VE CHANGED.I'LL REMEMBER THIS.

I FEEL GREAT,AND I'M A GREAT PERSON.

RANDY IS A STUPID NAME, THOUGH.

AAH!

- [grunting]

"YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE."

SEE YOU TOMORROW, RANDY.

[guffaws]

WHAT A STUPID NAME.

- [sighs]I HAVE A HEADACHE.

- UGH.[grumbling]

- I'M SORRY.I CAN'T CONTROL MY HEADACHES.

OH, GREAT.

SO EVEN IF I DON'T WANTTO HAVE SEX,

I'M SUPPOSED TO WHAT--STILL DO IT?

- UH, YEAH.YEAH, ACTUALLY.

THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO WHENTHEY'RE IN LOVING RELATIONSHIPS.

- UH!- OH, PLEASE.

THINK OF ALL THE TIMESI'VE HAD SEX WITH YOU

WHEN I DIDN'T WANT TO.

- WHAT?- YEAH!

[dog barking]- [laughing]

[zipper rasps]

- PLEASE, NOT RIGHT NOW.

[snores]

- [sucking]

OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH.LET'S DO THIS.

BUT KEEP IT UNDER FIVE.

- YES!

CAN WE DO ANAL?

- ♪ THREE ALIENS

♪ CAME FROM THE SKY

♪ THE GALACTIC COUNCILSENT THEM ♪

- ♪ AND HERE'S THE REASON WHY

- ♪ THEIR MISSION IS TO STUDY

♪ EARTH'S MOST AVERAGE GUY

- ♪ TO SEE IF HUMANSARE WORTH SAVING ♪

♪ OR IF EVERYONEHAS TO DIE ♪

- WAIT, WHAT?

I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS CORKEDOR SOMETHING, MAN.

- OH, YEAH?

WELL, WHY'D YOU DRINK3/4 OF IT?

- LOOK, I REALLY NEED[chuckles]

THIS $5.00 BACK, OKAY?

IT'S BEEN A-A ROUGHCOUPLE MONTHS, MAN.

- JEFF?- [yelps]

LINDA! YOU LOOK AMAZING.

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

- I THINK THIS MIGHT BETHE BUSIEST WEEK OF MY LIFE.

I'VE GOT A JOB INTERVIEW,A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT,

MY FRIEND'S BACHELORETTE--

- HEY, YOU WANNA GRAB LUNCH

OR COFFEE OR SOMETHING?

- UH!- CHET!

- LET'S DRINK THIS BUBBLYAND GET SNUGGLY.

- [laughs]I'VE GOTTA GO.

- YEAH, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO.

I'VE GOT--I GOTA PRETTY BUSY WEEK TOO.

[bird chirps]

[slurping]

[sobbing]

- HEY, MR. SNIFFLES.

WE GOT SOMETHING SPECIALFOR OUR FAVORITE SPECIAL GUY!

- I TOLD YOU GUYSNO MORE SURPRISE GIFTS.

- WELL, SOMETHING TELLS MEYOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS ONE,

'CAUSE YOU'VE ALREADY LOVED HERFOR FIVE YEARS!

- OH, MY GOD, NO!

WE NEED TO UNDO THISIMMEDIATELY!

- WELL, I GUESS I COULDJUST CLEAR HER MEMORIES

FROM THE LAST 24 HOURS.

- AGH!- OOPS.

- LINDA!- OKAY, I SEE WHAT I DID.

- [sobbing]OH, WHAT?

WHAT, IS SHE DEAD?IS SHE DEAD?

IS SHE DEAD?

- NO, NO, NO.

SHE'LL COME BACK TOIN A COUPLE OF DAYS.

MAYBE A MONTH OR TWO, TOPS.

- OH, JESUS CHRIST.

SHE HAD SO MUCH IMPORTANT STUFFTO DO THIS WEEK, GUYS.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

I DON'T KNOW.ARE YOU SURE THIS IS GONNA WORK?

- TOTALLY.

- ARE YOU SURESHE'S GONNA BE OKAY?

- OH, FOR SURESIES.

[upbeat rock music]

- COME ON, LINDA.- [groaning]

[women shouting]- COME ON, LINDA.

GET INTO IT!- WHOO-HOO!

AND I ALSO SPEAK UN POQUITO...

DE ESP--

- WONDERFUL!

- [effeminate voice]AND I'LL HAVE

THE 32-OUNCE ANGUS STEAK,

UH, RARE.

- WHOA![laughs]

YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT,ARE YOU, BABE?

I KEEP TELLING YOU

IT ISN'T AN EFFECTIVE FORMOF BIRTH CONTROL

TO SHOOT IT ALLOVER YOUR FACE EVERY TIME.

BUT YOU JUST WON'T LISTENTO ME.

- [Jeff's voice]I'M NOT PREGNANT, OKAY?

CAN WE PLEASE TALKABOUT SOMETHING ELSE?

- YIKES!WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR VOICE?

YOU GOT A SORE THROAT?

OR SOMETHING?

- [coughs]YEAH, YEAH.

I, UH, I THINK I DO.

- I TOLD YOU, YOU GOTTA STOPDEEP-THROATING ME SO MUCH.

BUT YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE ITYOUR WAY, DON'T YOU?

- HEY, DUDE,

THIS ISN'T APPROPRIATEDINNER CONVERSATION,

ALL RIGHT?

LOOK, I THINK WE SHOULDBREAK UP.

I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH JEFF.

- WHAT? JEFF?

YOU SAID HIS DICK WAS SO SMALL,YOU GOT--

- THAT'S A LIE!I NEVER SAID

JEFF'S DICK WAS SMALL!

- TAKE IT EASY, BABE!- YOU [bleep] LIAR!

- I WON'T HIT A WOMAN--

- OH! OH!- OH!

OKAY! THAT'S IT.

GAH!

GAH! AAH!

[wailing]I'M A BAD PERSON!

- I CAN'T BELIEVE I DON'TREMEMBER ANY OF THIS.

- YEAH.

I GUESS HE MUST'VE HIT YOUPRETTY HARD.

[slurps]

[cell phone rings]- HELLO?

- HI, LINDA.IT'S DR. LYNN.

UH, WE'RE GONNA NEED YOUTO COME IN FOR A FOLLOW-UP.

- IDIOT.

- OW.- YOU'VE GOTTEN SARDINES

ALL OVER MY SANDALS.

CLEAN IT UP!- OOH!

YES, MY LORD.MM.

[slurping]

[chortling]

- UGH, YOU PERVERT.- OW.

- WHERE'S YOUR OWNER?- OH, I'M FREE.

MY OWNER DIEDFROM AN INTESTINAL DISORDER.

HE ATE SOME BAD GIRAFFE.

OW.MY NAME IS HILARIUS.

[giggling, honking horn]

AT YOUR SERVICE.

- IDIOT.CARRY MY LUNCH.

- I'M HERE TO SEESEXTUS SCRIBONIS.

HE IS THE DOMINUS HOMINEMOF THE COLOSSEUM.

THAT MEANS BOSS OF EVERYTHING.

- I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!

I PLAN TO BETHE DOMINUS "OMINEM"

OF THE COLOSSEUM MYSELF.

- WELL, I'LL LET YOU CUTIN FRONT OF ME

FOR AN ARTICHOKE.

- HOW 'BOUT I DON'T STICKA DAGGER IN YOUR FAT FACE?

- DEAL.

- 99, 100.

LET'S GO TO CAFETERIA.

- YEAH, IT'S MEATBALL MONDAY.- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

WHO PUT THE SEX SHOWAFTER THE HIPPO MASSACRE?

IT'LL STINK OF BLOOD, AND THEREWILL BE FLIES EVERYWHERE!

- NO, YOU SAID IT WAS FUNNY

WHEN THE FLIES BITETHE GUYS' BALLS

IN THE ORGY REHEARSAL.

YOU REALLY LAUGH.AAH!

- HOW CAN THE UPPER DECKSEE FLIES

BITING A GUY'S BALLS, HMM?

YOU'VE GOT TO PLAYTO THE CHEAP SEATS!

- AAH!I SORRY, I SORRY.

- I AM LUCIUS.- AND MY NAME IS HILARIUS.

[giggling, honking horn]

- AH, THANK APOLLO.

TWO APPLICANTSWITHOUT TYPHOID.

WELL, LET'S SHOW YOU AROUNDTHIS CRAZY MADHOUSE

WE CALL BACKSTAGE.

[lion growls]

- SO YOU WANT TO CUTTHROUGH THE NECK,

VISUALIZE ITTO THE OTHER SIDE.

- [screams]

- OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

VISUALIZE THE POINTON THE OTHER SIDE

THROUGH THE NECK.

- [grunts]- SEE?

A-SMOOTH.

- [groans]

[crowd murmuring]- OKAY, BEHOLD EREBOS OF XENOS,

DIVINE PROPHETAND EIGHTH EMPEROR

OF THE 33 DIMENSIONS.

- HEY, GUYS.[applause]

MY LOVE IS WITH YOU.

[crowd cheers]

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

OKAY, I DON'T REALLY HAVE MUCHON THE DOCKET TODAY.

THE HAND SOAP IN MYENLIGHTENMENT POD IS OUT AGAIN,

SO, UH, TONY,THAT'S YOUR JOB.

WILL YOU GET TO THAT, TONY?

UH, WHAT ELSE?

OUR NEW WEBSITE IS GOING LIVEON FRIDAY,

SO CHECK THAT OUT, EVERYONE.

AND I THINKTHAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT FOR ME,

SO UNLESS ANYBODY ELSE--

OOH, LOTS OF HANDS.

UH, TRAVIS.

- SO YOU SAID THATIMRATU THE SPACE DRAGON,

WHO I LOVE, WAS SUPPOSEDTO COME YESTERDAY

AND TRANSPORT US ALL

TO THE ETERNAL DIMENSIONOF PEACE.

- OKAY, AND YOU GUYS, UH...

YOU GUYS ARE UPSETBECAUSE IMRATU THE SPACE DRAGON

DIDN'T--DIDN'T SHOW UP?

- OKAY, WELL, IT'S JUST THATA LOT OF US

CASTRATED OURSELVESBECAUSE YOU SAID

THAT'S WHAT IMRATU WANTED,

AND THE REST OF USDRANK POISON.

- [whistling]

- O-OKAY, WE'RE S--L-LISTEN.

I THINK THE FOCUS HAS GONEALL ON THE SPACE DRAGON THING,

AND IT'S NOT ABOUT THE OTHERCOOL STUFF WE DO AROUND HERE.

- WE NEVER REALLY DO ANYTHINGEXCEPT SIT AROUND

AND TALK ABOUT IMRATUTHE SPACE DRAGON

WHILE YOU HAVE SEXWITH OUR WIVES.

- WE HAVE A POOL TABLE.

- SOME OF US ARE JUSTA LIIITTLE FRUSTRATED BECAUSE

IT KINDA SEEMS LIKE YOU MIGHT'VEMADE THE WHOLE THING UP.

[collective gasp]

- WOW, TONY.THAT SUCKS, MAN.

THAT REALLY SUCKS, GUYS.

THAT'S A BAD ATTITUDE.

I REALLY DON'T WANTTO HAVE TO DO THIS,

BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASKPETEY TO DRINK POISON.

[collective gasp]

POOR, INNOCENT PETEY.

NEVER QUESTION ANYTHING.

EVERYBODY, I DID THAT TO PETEYBECAUSE I LOVE TONY.

IN FACT, I LOVE ALL OF YOUSO MUCH,

I'M GOING TO SHARE WITH YOUMY NEW VISION.

[beep]

THE GAZE OF MY FOURTH EYEHAS PIERCED

THE UNFATHOMABLE MULTIVERSE

AND SEEN A VISIONOF A GREAT AND WONDROUS...

SPACE PUMA!

- LIKE THE SPACE PUMA YOU SAIDWANTED US TO CLEAN

YOUR GARAGE LAST SUMMER?

[crowd murmuring]- UH--YEAH, OKAY.

I KNOW THE ANSWERTO THIS QUESTION,

BUT AS A TEST OF YOUR FAITH,

WHICH SPACE ANIMALSHAVE I ALREADY USED?

- SPACE PUMA, SPACE JAGUAR,SPACE LYNX,

SPACE MOUSE, SPACE SQUIRREL,

SPACE DOLPHIN,SPACE WOLPHIN,

SPACE GORILLA,SPACE CHINCHILLA,

SPACE PIG, SPACE HUMAN.

[chuckles]I KNOW THEM ALL.

- BECAUSE WHILE I WAS BONINGNEIL'S WIFE,

I HAD A SECOND VISION,MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE FIRST.

I BEHELD A GLORIOUSSPACE ALLIGATOR...

[collective gasp]HURTLING THROUGH THE COSMOS,

COMING TO TRANSPORT YOU ALLTO THE DIMENSION

OF TOTAL JOY.

AND HIS NAME...

IS MUMRATU.

- MUMRATU,THE SPACE ALLIGATOR?

THAT SOUNDS VERY, VERY SIMILARTO IMRATU,

THE SPACE DRAGON.

- THEY ARE BROTHERS.

THEIR LAST NAME IS RATU.

- AND WHEN WILL THAT BE,PROPHET?

- WELL, YOU'LL HAVETO ASK HIM...

[whispers]WHEN HE GETS HERE.

HE'S ACTUALLY COMING HERE.

[cheers and applause]

- YAY, EREBOS!

- OH, YEAH.IT'S AWESOME.

NOW RISE, MY CHILDREN,

AND GO FORTH.

[R&B music playing]EXCEPT, UH,

FOR NEIL'S WIFE.

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