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Baby Daddy

The abortion debate comes to Brickleberry when Ethel gets pregnant with Steve's baby, and Woody gets committed to a psychiatric hospital. (21:08)

- HERE'S TO HAVINGNOTHING TO CELEBRATE.

- ACTUALLY,TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY.

- LIKE I SAID,NOTHING TO CELEBRATE!

- HEY, WHERE'S MALLOY?

- EH, HE COULDN'T BE HERE.HE GOT TIED UP.

- I'M GOINGTO GET WOODY FOR THIS.

OH, GOD!

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MELIKE THAT?

[dog grunts]

THAT IS AN ODD PLACETO KEEP YOUR LIPSTICK.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER, BUDDY?ARE YOU STILL BUMMED

ABOUT YOUREPISODE OF INTERVENTION?

- STEVE, WE'RE HEREBECAUSE WE ALL LOVE YOU.

BUT YOU'VE GOTTO STOP JIZZING INSIDE US.

- I'M SORRY.IT JUST FEELS SO GOOD.

- FEELS GOOD? I'M STIFFAS A BOARD, YOU FREAKY BASTARD!

- NAH, IT'S ETHEL.YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LIKE HER,

BUT SHE WON'T GIVE METHE TIME OF DAY.

NOW SHE'S DATINGTHE CEO OF SKYMALL.

WHAT DOES HE HAVE THAT I DON'T?- TELEPHONE SHOES?

- YOU'RE RIGHT.I DON'T STAND A CHANCE.

- STEVE, YOU GOT TO GET WOMENWHEN THEY'RE DOWN.

THAT'S WHAT I DO, LITERALLY.

I GET LIFE ALERTCALLS FORWARDED TO MY PHONE.

[cell phone beeps]

- I'VE FALLEN,AND I CAN'T GET UP!

- SEE IF YOU CAN SLIPYOUR PANTIES OFF.

I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE.

- IT MAY LOOK LIKE AN ORDINARYFAN-COOLED SOLAR SAFARI HAT,

BUT IT'S ALSO A LITTER BOX.

[cat meows]SKYMALL!

- THAT'S AMAZING!

I WAS JUST TELLING A FRIENDTHAT I WISH I HAD A HAT

THAT A CAT COULD SHIT IN.- SKYMALL!

- LISTEN, I KNOW WE'VE ONLYBEEN ON A COUPLE OF DATES,

BUT I SEE A REAL FUTURE FOR US.

- I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT SAY THAT.THAT'S WHY I GOT YOU THIS.

- [gasps] OH, MY GOD!THE ANSWER IS YE--

- IT'S THE WORLD'S SMALLESTWHITE NOISE MACHINE.

- WHAT?BUT WHAT ABOUT US?

- WE'RE DONE.I'M NOT READY TO SETTLE DOWN.

BUT YOU CAN SET THISTO HEAVY RAIN

TO MASK THE SOUNDOF YOUR TEARS.

- YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?

[rain pattering]

- SKYMALL!

- GIVE ME THAT!

- STEVE, NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.

ETHEL'S LOWERTHAN ABE VIGODA'S LEFT NUT.

- HER NEXT BOTTLE'S ON ME.

- NO, I'LL CALL YOU,I PROMISE.

WE JUST [bleep] IN THE BATHROOM.I'M OUT!

- ARE YOU SUREYOU'RE OKAY TO DRIVE?

- ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY TOMIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS?

I'M FINE.

YOU'RE DOING GOOD, JOHNSON.

JUST KEEP IT BETWEEN THE LINES.

[water bubbling]

OH, CRAP. MALLOY, QUICK!GET BEHIND THE WHEEL!

MALLOY!

AH!I THOUGHT RED MEANT STOP!

[rousing music]

- YOU DON'T KNOW.

YOU DON'T KNOW.- [cackling]

- RACKIN' FRACKIN'COMMUNITY SERVICE.

WORKING AROUNDA BUNCH OF GODDAMN NUT JOBS

WHO SIT AROUNDAND MUMBLE TO THEMSELVES.

[mumbling]

- IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, SIR?

- OH, NEVER BETTER!I LOVE THESE WACKY BASTARDS.

OH, YOU'RE A DAD, HUH?

YEAH, MY SON YELLED AT ME

'CAUSE I TIED HIM UPOUTSIDE OF A BAR.

- YOU DID WHAT?

- OH, DON'T WORRY.MY SON'S A TALKING BEAR.

- WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A SEAT?

THIS TALKING BEAR--DOES HEEVER TELL YOU TO DO THINGS

THAT WOULD HURT YOURSELFOR OTHERS?

- ARE YOU SHITTING ME?THAT'S ALL HE DOES!

ONE TIME HE TURNED MEINTO A FISH!

- I SEE.

- YEAH, HE CAN BEA SARCASTIC LITTLE ASSHOLE,

BUT I KNOW HE LOVES ME,'CAUSE ONE TIME I WAS GONNA GET

ON A SPACESHIPWITH MY GIRLFRIEND,

AND HE SAVED MEWITH A JET PACK.

- WE GOT A NUT JOB.

- LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIMEHE DIRECTED MY PORNO!

AAH!ARE YOU [bleep] CRAZY?

I'M NOT CRAZY!YOU'RE CRAZY!

- AND PUNCHITO!CONGRATULATIONS, ETHEL.

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