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Orgazmo Birth

Montez offers to buy the guys tickets to an electronic music festival, but Colleen's baby shower threatens to ruin their good time. (21:03)

- YEAH!

ALL RIGHT, MAN.I THINK THAT'S KARL.

HE'S BRINGING USSOME PARTY SUPPLIES

FOR THE FESTIV-LAY.- YES!

- WAY COOL.- WHOO!

- ENERGY.[both convulsing]

- WHAT IS THAT?- IT'S AN ENERGY THING.

- OH, THAT'S MORE ENERGY.- YES, ENERGY.

- IT'S A TOTALENERGY THING, MAN.

- COOL.

- WHAT'S UP, DUKE?

- EW, YOU SMELL.- THANK YOU.

- HEY, MAN, WHERE'SYOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND?

MOLLY?

- WHAT? NO.I DON'T KNOW A MOLLY.

- I THINK HE'S TALKINGABOUT MOLLY, THE DRUG.

IT'S LIKE ECSTASY,BUT--BUT IT'S, LIKE,

DIFFERENT SOMEHOW,NO ONE KNOWS.

- NO, I THINK I KNOW BLAKEA LITTLE BIT BETTER

THAN YOU, ADAM,AND I THINK HE'S TALKING

ABOUT A CHICK NAMED MOLLY,RIGHT?

- OH, NO, I'M TALKINGABOUT THE DRUG.

I WANT DRUGS.GIVE 'EM TO ME.

THAT'S WHATYOU'RE HERE FOR, BUD.

- YEAH, OF COURSEI HAVE THAT MOLLY.

RIGHT HERE, MAN.- ALL RIGHT. GIMME, GIMME.

- SO YOU'RE GOINGTO A RAVE, HUH?

- YOU CANNOT JOIN US,THOUGH.

- ALL RIGHT, LOOK, IF YOUWANT THE MOLLY, OKAY,

THEN YOU NEED TO CHANTTHE RAVER'S PRAYER WITH ME.

OKAY, READY?AND HERE WE GO.

WE ARE ONE MASSIVETRIBAL VILLAGE--

SAY IT WITH ME.

THAT TRANSCENDS MANMADE LAW--- DUDE, COME ON.

- CAN I JUST, UM--CAN I JUST GET THE STUFF?

I'LL GIVE YOUTHIS POPSICLE, MAN.

YOUR--YOUR DEAD EYE HAS BEENLOOKING AT IT THE WHOLE TIME.

- YEAH, I FEEL--I FEELLIKE THAT'S A GOOD DEAL.

- YEAH, ALL RIGHT. COOL.- THERE YOU GO.

LET ME GET THAT.- AND THERE YOU GO.

COME ON.LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!

THERE YOU GO,YOU DIRTY BITCH.

- WASSUP?- WHERE Y'ALL BEEN?

I CALLED Y'ALL 15 TIMES.DID YOU GET MY VOICEMAILS?

AND WHY DO YOULOOK LIKE GAY PREDATOR?

- DO VOICEMAILS STILL EXIST?

[laughs]YOU ARE OLD, DUDE.

AH, PLUS I'D NEVERGIVE YOU MY REAL NUMBER

BECAUSE I HATE YOUAS A PERSON.

WHERE ARE THE TICKETS?- YEAH.

- MAN, COLLEEN GOT ME STICKINGAROUND THIS BABY SHOWER, OKAY?

I TOLD HERTHIS IS GIRL STUFF,

BUT SHE ALMOST CAME OUTTHE BAG ON ME.

- OKAY, WELL, HOW FAR ALONGARE WE IN THIS BABY PROCESS?

CAN WE MAYBE--- CAN WE ABORT THE BABY?

- LET'S JUST--WE'LL BRINGYOU BACK A GLOW STICK, OKAY?

WE'LL SEE YOU AROUND.- YOU KNOW WHAT?

QUITE FRANKLY, THIS MIGHTWORK OUT BETTER FOR US.

GET THE TICKETS,KEEP IT TO THE THREE AMIGOS.

- YEP.- OH, I LIKE THAT.

- ENERGY.

- THE TICKETS ARE UNDER "WALKER"AT WILL CALL.

IF I DON'T GO,NONE OF US ARE GETTING IN.

- THAT IS WHY I THINKWE SHOULD KEEP IT

THE FOUR AMIGOS, RIGHT?

- YEAH.- THE FOUR OF US TOGETHER.

- YEAH, GET IN.- GET IN HERE.

- THIS IS AN ENERGY THINGWE'RE DOING--

- NO, Y'ALL DON'T GET IT, MAN.

COLLEEN GOING CRAZYOVER THIS CHILD.

SHE ALREADY REDECORATEDTHE NURSERY,

GOT SOME EXPENSIVE-ASS DOULATO DELIVER THE BABY,

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF,

SHE WANTSTO DO SOMETHING CALLED

"ORGASMIC WATER BIRTH."

- WELL, WHAT--WHAT--- I'M SORRY?

- OKAY, COME AGAIN?- EW.

- IT'S WHEN SHE BUSTS A NUTWHEN THE BABY FLOP OUT.

- OH!

- IT COULD BE HOT,COULD BE NOT.

IT'S TOO MUCH, MAN.

- UGH, THAT SOUNDS DISGUSTING.

NOT THE ORGASMING PART--THAT SOUNDS COOL--

BUT, LIKE, THE BABY PARTBECAUSE THEY RUIN "VERGINAS."

"VERGINAS."

- WAIT, WHO MAKES HER BUST,YOU OR THE BABY?

- I DON'T KNOW.

OH, YOU LIKE IT,'CAUSE IT'S GONE. AWESOME.

- LADY IN THE PINK,DRINK THAT DRINK,

AND PEOPLE, LET'S DANCE, DANCE,DANCE OUR PANTS OFF.

- ♪ FEELIN', FEELIN',FEELIN', FEELIN' ♪

- NO, NO, NO, NO!

DERS, PAUSE IT.

- I C--PA--YOU CAN'T--

- JUST DO--IT'S AN iPOD, MAN.

YOU'RE NOTDOING ANYTHING UP THERE.

- WHA--EXCUSE ME?

- ONE OF THESE STUPID[bleep] MOMS

POURED ALL MY MOLLY WATERINTO THE PUNCH.

I'M LEAVING.I'M DONE.

I QUIT.THIS IS IT.

- BUT YOU--DUDE,

YOU'RE SAYING ALL THESE LADIES

ARE ROLLING RIGHT NOW.

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

THAT'S THE MOST PERFECTGROSS DISTRACTION

THAT WE COULDNEVER THINK OF.

- HOW?YOU KNOW WHAT?

DON'T TELL ME THE DETAILS.

JUST TELL MEWHERE I NEED TO DANCE.

- RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GROUP.- OKAY.

- THAT'S BE GREAT.YEAH.

- WHOO!

YOU FEELIN' IT?

ENERGY.

[dubstep music plays]

- ♪ I'M IN LOVE WITH A

♪ I'M IN LOVE WITH A

♪ I'M WITH IN LOVEWITH A MONSTER ♪

- [bleep]!

- OH, OH, OH, OH!- OKAY.

- MAGIC MIKEIN THIS SITUATION.

- THAT'S A LITTLE ROUGH,PLEASE.

- YOU GUYS FEEL THE ENERGY?

- EVERYONE, ALL RIGHT.

SHOW THAT BABY SOME LOVE.

LET'S B-B-BUMPTHAT BABY BUMP.

- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,HERE WE GO.

BUMP UP ON THAT BABY BUMP.

YOU GOTTA BUMP UPON THAT BABY BUMP.

- BUMP UP ON THAT BABY BUMP.YEP.

- BUMP UP ON THAT BABY BUMP.

YOU GOTTA BUMP UPON THAT BABY BUMP.

- UH-HUH.- BUMP UP ON THAT BABY BUMP.

- HEY, MONTEZ,WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

MONTEZ, GET BACK HERE.

WOULD YOU PLEASEJUST GET OFF OF ME?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?- THE MUSIC STOPPED.

- I'M NOT DONE DANCING.- THE MUSIC STOPPED

AND YOUR DANCING IS A JOKE.

- YEAH, OKAY,MY DANCING'S A JOKE.

I'LL SHOW YOU A JOKE.

- UP AND OVER. YEP.- UGH--WHAT?

- MUSCLES FROM BRUSSELS.

RIGHT HERE.- OH, GOD!

- OH! EW! EW!

YOU SQUIRTED IN MY EYES!

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THATCOULD HAPPEN OUTSIDE OF PORNO.

- MY WATER JUST BROKE,YOU IDIOT.

COME ON, COME ON!

- I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN.

- OKAY, WELL, JUST TRYTO WADDLE FASTER OR WHATEVER.

OKAY, EVERYBODY OUT!

THIS GIRL'S ABOUTTO HAVE A BABY.

THAT'S NOT A JOKE.

YOU TOO, SIR.COME ON.

- I GET OUT WHEN I FEEL.

- OKAY.I DON'T KNOW.

THIS DRACULA DUDEIS STAYING PUT.

- DOES THIS WORK?- OKAY, SO, UM...

BIG BREATHS, RIGHT?I THINK.

LIKE--[exaggerated breathing]

- RIGHT.

- IS IT OUT?PLEASE TELL ME IT'S OUT.

THE GYM DUDE IS COMING.

- IT DOESN'T--- NOPE. NOT OUT.

- YEAH--NO, I DON'T SEE ITIN THERE ANYWHERE.

- OH, THIS IS HAPPENING!

YOU GUYS NEED TO GET IN HEREAND HELP ME!

- OKAY, OKAY, LOOK.

JUST BREATHE.WE CAN DO THIS.

ALL RIGHT?- WE'RE DOING IT?

- WAIT, WHAT?- WE'RE GONNA DO--OKAY.

- OKAY.[whimpers]

- [groans]- OKAY.

- ALL RIGHT, WE GOT THIS.

JUST BREATHE.IT'S FINE.

- NO, MONTEZ NEEDS TO BE HERE.

I'M SUPPOSEDTO HAVE AN ORGASM.

- WHOA, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.A FEMALE ORGASM?

DIDN'T THEY MYTH-BUST THAT?

- ANDERS, I NEED YOU TO--

I NEED YOUTO WORK DOWN SOUTH.

I NEED YOU TO GO TO TEXASAND RUB THERE.

- MY NAME IS ANDERS,AND FINE, I WILL.

- FINE.YOU TAKE THE WEST COAST.

I NEED SOME KISSING ON THE EARS.- OKAY.

- OH, GOD, AND THEN SOMEONE'SGOTTA PLAY WITH...

THE FELLAS OVER HERE.

- OKEY-DOKE.

I'M A NIPPLE GUY, SO.

- OH, MY GOD, I'M IN THERE.

I THINK I FEEL THE BABY.- EW.

- THAT'S NOT A BABY.- THAT'S NOT A--

- THAT'S THE OTHER HOLE.

- OKAY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY,SORRY, SORRY.

- I'M WORKING 'EM HARD.- OKAY.

- HOT NIPS.- I'M IN THERE.

- RUBBIN' 'EM.- OKAY, THIS ISN'T WORKING.

I GOTTA THINKOF SOMETHING ELSE.

I GOTTA GO TO MY HAPPY PLACE.- I'VE DONE THIS.

I HAD A GIRLFRIEND ONCE.I DID THIS TO HER.

- PASTA, ICE CREAM--- THESE ARE MY--

- YOU GUYS SUCK.

JESUS, HAVE YOU NEVERTOUCHED A WOMAN BEFORE?

- N-NUMEROUS WOMEN.- A WOMAN?

- HEY!GET UP OFF MY WIFE!

BABY, I'M HERE.

- WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

- I'M SO SORRY, BABY.

THEY DRUGGED ME.

YOU READY TO DO THIS?

- YES, LET'S DO IT.

- OH, GIRL, I'M SO SORRY.

THEY DON'T KNOWHOW TO GET YOU GOING.

- THEY DIDN'T KNOWWHAT THEY WERE DOING.

- I KNOW, BABY.

- THEY WERE LIKE[bleep] AMATEURS.

THEY'RE IDIOTS.I THINK THEY'RE GAY.

- I KNOW.- OH, GOD.

- THIS MAN KNOW HOWTO TOUCH WOMAN, YEAH.

- IT'S BLAST-OFF TIME!- OKAY, LET'S DO THIS.

YEAH, THAT'S IT!IT'S HAPPENING.

IT'S HAPPENING!

IT'S COMING.I'M [bleep].

IT'S COMING.I'M [bleep].

[screams]- OH!

- IS THAT IT?

- DID IT HAPPEN?- IS THAT IT?

- SOMEBODY GET IT!GET IT!

- OH, OH!- ADAM, GO!

- [screams]

- ADAM? ADAM!

- YEAH, OH--NO.IT'S SLIPPERY.

- GET OUR BABY NOW!

- I GOT HIM!I GOT THE BABY!

I GOT THE BABY.[baby crying]

HE'S LIKEA SWEET LITTLE PRINCE.

- CAN--CAN WE SEE HIM?

- I WANT ONE.

OH, CUTIE.- LET'S GO.

- OH, MY GOD.- LOOK AT THAT.

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