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World Series of Dice & Mooney on Movies

The Marcy Projects hosts a champion shooter contest, and Paul Mooney talks "Gone with the Wind"; musical guests Common and Kanye West. (21:34)

VERNON FRANKLINWAS AN EXCEPTIONAL YOUNG MAN.

HE WAS THE VALEDICTORIANOF HIS HIGH SCHOOL CLASS,

WON SEVERAL SCHOLARSHIPS,

AND BECAME THE FIRST PERSONIN HIS FAMILY TO ATTEND COLLEGE.

HE GOT A GOOD JOB AND WORKED14-HOUR DAYS SIX DAYS A WEEK,

QUICKLY BECOMING THE YOUNGESTVICE PRESIDENT

IN THE HISTORY OFTHE VIACORP CORPORATION,

ENDING THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCEAND DRUG ADDICTION

THAT HAD PLAGUED HIS FAMILYFOR GENERATIONS.

THE OFFICERS OF HIS COMPANYWERE WRAPPING UP THE USUAL

THURSDAY MEETINGIN THE SOUTH CONFERENCE ROOM

WHEN FRANK MURPHY, THE MANWHO HAD MENTORED VERNON,

MADE AN AWKWARD COMMENT.

- VERNON, GREAT JOB,BUDDY!

YOU THE MAN!

GIVE ME SOME SKIN, HUH?

announcer:VERNON GOT ALONG

WITH ALL OF THE PEOPLEHE WORKED WITH,

WHICH IN HIS HEART OF HEARTSMADE HIM FEEL

LIKE AN UNCLE TOM.

THOUGH HE COULD'VE IGNORED

THE SIMPLE COMMENTHIS MENTOR MADE,

VERNON DECIDEDTO "KEEP IT REAL."

- GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HANDOUT OF MY FACE.

YOU HEARD ME, MOTHERFUCKER.

GET YOUR HANDSOUT OF MY FACE!

WHAT DO YOU THINKTHIS IS, MAN?

JUST SHAKE MY HANDLIKE A MAN!

HERE GIVE ME SOME FIVEON THE BACKHAND SIDE

WITH ALLTHIS CRAZY JIVE.

THAT'S BULLSHIT.

WANT A LITTLE SOFT SHOE?

SHOULD I JUGGLE SOMEWATERMELONS FOR YOU, BOSS?

FUCK ALL THAT, NIGGA.

- HEY, VERNON, BUDDY--

- GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKINGHANDS OFF ME, FRANK!

THIS AIN'T A GAME.

- THIS ISN'TTHE VERNON I KNOW.

- ALLOW ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF.MY NAME IS HOV.

YOU AIN'T NEVER HEARDTHAT BEFORE, HAVE YA?

RAP MUSIC, GANGSTA.

I USED TO BEATMOTHERFUCKERS UP JUST LIKE YOU,

JUST FOR WALKING AROUNDMY WAY!

- VERNON.VERNON, BUDDY--

- YOU BETTER SITTHE FUCK DOWN, FRANK.

- EXCUSE ME?- SAID SIT DOWN, BITCH.

THUG LIFE!

YOU THINKIT'S A GAME, NIGGA?

[barking]

WU-TANG!

announcer: TODAY, VERNONWORKS AT SONNY'S FILLER-UP

ON ROUTE 80IN NEW JERSEY.

HE MAKES $6.45 AN HOUR

AND STINKS OF GASOLINE EVENWHEN HE'S NOT AT THE STATION.

IT'S AS REALAS IT CAN BE.

- A DOLLAR?

WHAT AM I GONNA GETWITH A DOLLAR, NIGGA?

I GOT KIDS, AND THAT'S REAL.

announcer:VERNON FRANKLIN--

ONCE A HEARTWARMING STORYOF PERSEVERANCE...

- WU-TANG!

announcer:TODAY, A SPARKLING EXAMPLE

OF WHEN "KEEPING IT REAL"GOES WRONG.

AND WELCOMETO THE MARCY PROJECTS

HERE IN BROOKLYN,NEW YORK.

WHY ARE WE HERE?

- TO BUY WEED?

- NOT THIS TIME, BILL.

NOPE, EVERY ONE KNOWSWE'RE HERE FOR ONE REASON

AND ONE REASON ONLY.

WE'RE HEREFOR THE EIGHTH ANNUAL

WORLD SERIES OF DICE.

- WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, ROB.

SOME OF THE GREATEST PLAYERSFROM AROUND THE WORLD

HAVE GATHERED HERE TOCOMPETE FOR THE GRAND PRIZE:

ONE ANOTHER'S MONEY

AND BRAGGING RIGHTSFOR THE WHOLE YEAR.

- LET'S MEET THEM,THESE KINGS OF CLICK-CLACK.

FROM KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI,LEGENDARY SHOOTER

GRITS N' GRAVY.

- GRITS N' GRAVY.

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI.

- FLYING IN FROMTHE FAR EAST IS PHYUCK YIU,

ONE OF THE PREMIERDICE PLAYERS

IN THE EASTERN HEMISPHERE.

HE HAS PLAYED DICE IN SOMEOF THE GULLYEST OF GAMES.

- PHYUCK YIU.

KONICHIWA, BITCHES!

DROP THE CARD, BABY!

- AND THAT'SLEONARD WASHINGTON.

YOU KNOW THEY SAY,

"PAPA DIDN'TTAKE NO MESS."

WELL, NEITHER DOES LEONARD.

- MY NAME'SLEONARD WASHINGTON.

WHERE I'M FROM?

A LITTLE TOWN CALLED

"NONE OF YOURGOD DAMN BUSINESS."

LET'S PLAYSOME DICE, BITCHES.

- AND FINALLY,FROM THESE VERY PROJECTS,

LOCAL LEGEND ASHY LARRY.

WHY DO THEY CALL HIMASHY LARRY?

WELL, THERE'S YOUR ANSWER.

- ASHY LARRY.

MARCY PROJECTS.

MARCY, SON.WHAT.

- OKAY,LARRY GETS FIRST ROLL.

LET'S SEE HOW HE DOES.

- THAT MAN IS DRIERTHAN KUNTA KINTE'S ANKLE.

- COME ON, LET'S GO.

I STOLE THIS MONEYOUT OF MY GIRL'S PURSE.

SHE THINK I'M OUTEMPTYING THE TRASH.

COME ON, BABY,I NEED THIS.

- WHAT YOU NEEDIS SOME CHAPSTICK

AND A SET OF TROUSERS.

ROLL THE DICE,YOU ASHY MOTHER FUCKER.

START THE GAME.

- ALL RIGHT, BUT I'M ABOUTTO GO FROM ASHY TO CLASSY.

[moaning]

- OOH, AND JUST LIKE THAT,ASHY LARRY IS ELIMINATED.

- OUCH.

- SHE GONNA KILL ME.KEISHA GONNA KILL ME.

- LARRY, WHAT THE FUCKARE YOU DOING?

- I WAS--OKAY, REMEMBER,I WAS EMPTYING THE TRASH--

- AND THAT BETTERNOT BE THE MONEY

OUT MY GOD DAMN PURSE!

- I WAS--OKAY, REMEMBER--

- PICK THE SHIT UPAND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

- THAT'S JUST WHAT I'MTRYING TO TELL YOU!

I WAS JUST TAKINGTHE TRASH OUT.

YOU HEAR ME?I WAS JUST TAKING THE TRASH--

- SHE IS GONNA FUCK HIM UP.

- YOU SAID IT, BILL.

OKAY, GRITS N' GRAVYIS UP NEXT.

NOW, GRITS ISMOST KNOWN FOR ONCE ROLLING

77 SEVENS IN A ROWAT A CASINO IN LAS VEGAS,

MAKING HIMA MILLIONAIRE IN THE PROCESS.

- WELL, YOU KNOW, ROB,EARLIER TODAY,

WE ASKED HIM WHATHE DID WITH THE MONEY.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

- I BOUGHT MY MAMA A CAR.

I SPENT THE REST ON PCP.

- OKAY, SIMPLE ENOUGH.

- I LIKE HIS STYLE.

- LOVES HIS MOTHER.

- LOVES PCP.

- GRITS N' GRAVYIS READY TO ROLL.

LET'S SEE HOW HE DOES.

- COME ON, PUT IN.- ALL RIGHT.

- PUT UP OR SHUT UP.

- ALL RIGHT.JUST HOLD ON.

- TIME TO DOUBLE UP!

HERE TO TAKEEVERYBODY MONEY.

SEVEN!SEVEN!

SEVEN!

WHAT YOU ALL KNOWABOUT SEVEN?

PAY ME.

- BOY, YOU ARETHE GODDAMN DEVIL.

- PUT IT DOWN THERE.PUT IT DOWN THERE!

LET'S SPREAD THIS AROUND.YES.

- HUBBA-HUBBA!

- A'IGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?I'M TIRED.

I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY.

I GOT BABIES TO KISSAND BITCHES TO CATCH.

ALL IN.

- ALL IN?

I SEE YOU.

[dramatic whistling]

- AND LEONARDLAYING IT ON THICK.

AN INCREDIBLE STARE DOWN

BETWEEN LEONARD AND GRITS.

LOOK AT THE FLARING NOSTRILS.

MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP.

- OOH!

- SNAKE EYES!- DAMN!

- AND JUST LIKE THAT,GRITS IS ELIMINATED.

- AND WHEN I LEAVE,COME TOGETHER LIKE BUTT CHEEKS.

- AND IT COMES DOWNTO THESE TWO MEN,

LEONARD WASHINGTONAND PHYUCK YIU.

- I WANT EVERYBODY IN HERETO GET BUTT-ASS NAKED!

GET YOUR GODDAMNCLOTHES OFF!

THIS IS A ROBBERY!

- AND ALMOST ON CUETHE GAME GETS ROBBED.

LOCAL THUGRODNEY "QUILLS" DINKINS,

BREAKING INTO THEMARCY PROJECTS HALLWAY HERE

AND TELLING US ALLTO GET BUTT NAKED.

YOU KNOW, BILL,DICE GAMES GET ROBBED.

IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

THEY VERY RARELY COMETO A REASONABLE END.

TV IS NO DIFFERENT.

- WHAT YOU WAITING FOR,COOL BREEZE?

GET BUTT NAKEDRIGHT NOW!

GET IT OFF, SON!

- FIRST OF ALL, YOU BETTERCHECK YOUR TONE WITH ME, MAN.

I DON'T THINK YOU KNOWWHO YOU'RE TALKING TO.

I'M LEONARD WASHINGTON.

I DON'T GETBUTT NAKED FOR NOBODY.

YOU WANT THIS ROLL, NIGGA,

YOU GONNA HAVE TOSHOOT ME.

- OKAY.

- THIS MOTHER FUCKERHAS LOST HIS MIND.

GOD DAMN!

- AND LEONARD TAKESA SLUG TO THE LEG.

- OH, BUT I'LL TELL YOUSOMETHING, ROB,

YOU NOTICED HE SHOT HIMBELOW THE WAIST,

SO IT'S NOTATTEMPTED MURDER.

THAT WAS VERY INTELLIGENTON QUILLS' PART.

- QUILLS KNOWS THE LAW.

- THIS IS WHY BLACK PEOPLEDON'T HAVE NOTHING.

THIS IS JUST WHATTHEY WANT US TO DO.

YOUR MOTHER AIN'T SHIT.

- AND JUST IN TIME, HERE COMESDUMB ASS ASHY LARRY.

- WHERE THE DICE?WHERE THE DICE?

WHERE THE DICE?

- YO, GIVE ME THATMONEY, SON!

GO UPSTAIRS AND PUT ONSOME LOTION, RIGHT NOW!

- KEISHA TOLD MEJUST TO EMPTY THE TRASH.

- WELL, ROB, I GOT TO ADMIT,

I SAW THIS ROBBERY COMINGFROM A MILE AWAY,

WHICH IS WHY I PUTMY CAR KEYS UP MY ASS.

- QUICK THINKING.

- THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH.GET THEM GODDAMN CLOTHES OFF.

GET THAT MONEY UP.GET THAT MONEY UP!

- OKAY, OKAY.

SO ON BEHALF OF BILL BURRAND QUILLS,

I'M ROBERT PETCOFF SAYING--

- GET THAT RING OFF.GET THAT RING OFF, MAN!

- SORRY, HONEY.

SO LONG FROMTHE MARCY PROJECTS

AND THE WORLD SERIESOF DICE.

HOPEFULLY, NEXT YEAR,

WE'LL BE ABLE TO GETALL THE WAY THROUGH IT,

BUT PROBABLY NOT.

- SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAN!

PUT THEM CAMERAS IN A BOX!

- OUR FIRST FILMIS GONE WITH THE WIND.

THIS FILM IS AN EPIC ROMANCE

CENTERING AROUNDSCARLETT O'HARA,

A DAMSEL IN DISTRESSDURING THE CIVIL WAR.

IT IS A MUST-OWN,MUST-SEE MOVIE.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT.

- I COULDN'T AGREEWITH YOU MORE.

I'VE ACTUALLYSEEN GONE WITH THE WIND

13 TIMES SINCE I WAS10 YEARS OLD.

NO KIDDING.

- YOU MUST BE ON CRACK.

I DON'T THINKWE'VE SEEN THE SAME MOVIE.

I THOUGHT SCARLETT WAS A HO

'CAUSE SHE WENT BEDWITH EVERYBODY, UH, BUT MAMMY.

UM, I LOVE MAMMY.

MAMMY WAS THE BEST--

THE BEST SCENEIN THE MOVIE

IS WHEN MAMMYTOLD THE WHITE PEOPLE,

"GET OFF MY PORCH,WHITE TRASH!"

I STOOD AND I APPLAUDED.

I LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT.

- I LIKED MAMMY, THOUGH.

I REALLY--I THOUGHTSHE WAS GREAT.

I THOUGHT SHEHAD A GREAT ROLE.

- DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE--IT WAS HATTIE MCDANIELS--

THEY WOULDN'T LET "MAMMY"GO TO THE OPENING.

HOLLYWOOD--NO, NO--

HOLLYWOOD GOESTOO FAR.

BUT SHE'S DEAD.BUT SHE'S DEAD.

BUT EVERYBODY COMES BACK.

EVERYBODY COMES BACKTO GET THEIR MONEY.

SHE CAME BACKAS OPRAH WINFREY

TO GET HER MONEY.

- BARBERSHOP IS A SMART COMEDY

ABOUT A DAY IN THE LIFEOF A BLACK BARBERSHOP

ON THE SOUTH SIDEOF CHICAGO.

IT IS OWNED BY ICE CUBE

AND INHABITEDBY A COLORFUL CAST OF CHARACTERS

WHO BICKER WITH ONE ANOTHERIN VARIOUS HILARIOUS WAYS.

RECENTLY, A SEQUEL WAS MADE.

- YOU KNOW IT'S JUST A FRONT.

IT REALLY--THEY REALLY SELLDRUGS OUT OF BARBERSHOPS.

- [stutters]

- THE LAST SAMURAICENTERS AROUND TOM CRUISE,

A CIVIL WAR VETERANWHO GOES TO JAPAN

AND TEACHES THE EMPEROR'S TROOPSHOW TO FIGHT.

- MR. MOONEY?

- NO, NO, ANOTHER MOVIE THAT'S--

I WAS OFFENDED BY.

I MEAN,HOLLYWOOD IS CRAZY.

THE LAST SAMURAISTARRING TOM CRUISE?

- MM-HMM.

- HE'S THE LAST SAMURAI?- MM-HMM.

- GIVE ME A BREAK.

THAT MOVIE WAS OFFENSIVE.

I MEAN, HOLLYWOOD IS CRAZY.

FIRST, THEY HAD THE MEXICAN WITH BRAD PITT,

AND NOW THEY'VE GOT THE LAST SAMURAI

WITH TOM CRUISE.

WELL, I'VE WRITTEN A FILM.

MAYBE THEY'LL--MAYBETHEY'LL PRODUCE MY FILM:

THE LAST NIGGER ON EARTHSTARRING TOM HANKS.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

[cheers and applause]

- LET ME GETMY CHEDDAR BURGER, MAN.

- HOLD YOUR HORSES, MAN.

WE ALL HUNGRY.

- ARE YOUR HORSES HERE, YO?

YO, LET ME HOLD THEMFOR YOU, MAN.

[laughing]

LET ME GETMY CHEDDAR BURGER, MAN.

WE'VE BEEN HEREA LONG TIME.

- [coughing]- YOU ALL RIGHT?

[laughing]

NO CHEDDAR FOR YOU, MAN.

GIVE MEA CHEDDAR BURGER, MAN.

- MAN, CHILL OUTWITH THAT CHEDDAR BURGER.

- YEAH, CHILL OUT.

YO, IT WAS IN YOUR HANDTHE WHOLE TIME, STUPID.

- YOU GOT TO EATTHAT BURGER, DUDE.

SHIT.

- YOU KILLED HER, YO!

COME ON, MAN, WE GOT TOCHOP HER BODY UP

AND STUFF ITDOWN THE DRAIN!

- LET'S GO!LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

- I CAN'T, MAN!THERE'S PEOPLE BACK THERE.

- SHIT!

[all screaming]

FUCK.- COME ON!

- LET'S GO, LET'S GO!

- LIL JON?

- YEAH!

- I UNDERSTAND YOU MAY HAVEFRACTURED YOUR ARM.

- YEAH.

- LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

- OKAY!

- DOES THIS HURT?

- NO.

- THIS?

- NOT REALLY, NO.

- THIS?- [gasps]

NO.

- WHAT ABOUT THIS?

- YEAH!

- ALL RIGHT THEN.

DO YOU HAVE YOUR PROOFOF INSURANCE?

- WHAT?

- PROOF OF INSURANCE.

- WHAT?

- PROOF OF INSURANCE.

- WHAT?

- PROOF OF INSURANCE.

- HUH?

- PROOF OF INSURANCE.

- WHAT?

- PROOF OF INSURANCE.

- WHAT?

- YOUR PROOF OF INSURANCE?- WHAT?

- YOUR PROOF OF INSURANCE.- WHAT?

- PROOF OF INSURANCE?- HUH?

- PROOF OF INSURANCE?

- YEAH!

- OH, IT'S RIGHT HERE.

NOW, DO YOU DOANY RECREATIONAL DRUGS?

- WHAT?

- DO YOU DO ANYRECREATIONAL DRUGS?

- [chortles]

THAT DEPENDS, DOCTOR.

WHAT DO YOU DEFINEAS "DRUGS"?

- MEDICATION?- NO.

- COCAINE?

- ABSOLUTELY NOT.

- MARIJUANA?- YEAH!

YEAH!YEAH!

WHAT?

- NOTHING.

- WHAT?

- NOTHING.

- PARDON ME?- NOTHING, JUST WRITING.

- WHAT?

- I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

- WHAT?

- BE DONE IN A SECOND.

- OKAY!

- FINE.

- WHAT?

- NEED ANYTHING?

- NO, I'M COOL.

- OKAY.- OKAY.

announcer:YOU'VE JUST WATCHED

"A MOMENT INTHE LIFE OF LIL JON."

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