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Amber Alert

Ethel's role at the park is jeopardized when Woody hires an attractive new ranger named Amber. (21:10)

MY SANCTUARYFOR ORPHAN BABY ANIMALS

IS ALMOST COMPLETE.

WILL THROW ME A BIGGRAND OPENING PARTY?

- SURE, ETHEL,WHATEVER YOU WANT.

- YES.SEE, MALLOY?

IT'S NOT ABOUT MY GOOD LOOKS.

- IT'S ABOUT MY GOOD IDEAS.- OHH, YEAH...

- OF COURSE IT IS.

- WOODY...COULD I--

- NO, [bleep] OFF!

LISTEN, PEOPLE,

NOW THAT OUR DARLING HAROLD

HAS RETIRED TO FLORIDA...

- I THOUGHT THEY LOCKED HIM UPIN A MENTAL INSTITUTION.

- FLORIDA, MENTAL INSTITUTION--WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

ANYWAY, WE NEED A NEW RANGERA.S.A.P.

NOW, I GOT SOME MONEYFROM JACKUBOWSKI

TO SHOOT A RECRUITMENT VIDEO.

IT'S GOT TO BE GOOD--

LIKE, GODFATHER III GOOD.

NOT DOG SHITLIKE THEM FIRST TWO.

ETHEL, SINCE YOU'RETHE ONLY PERSON HERE

WITH A SOMEWHATHUMAN APPEARANCE,

YOU'RE GONNA BEMY LEAD ACTRESS.

- WOODY, DID YOUFORGET SOMETHING?

IT'S THE FIRST OF THE MONTH.

- OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

THE RANGER OF THE MONTH IS...

STEVE AGAIN.

- YAY.

- NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I HAVE TO GO TO MY OFFICEFOR AN IMPORTANT MEETING.

- AND I HAVE TO CALL MY MOMAND TELL HER THE GOOD NEWS.

[melodic ringtone]

HEY...

I KNOW THAT RINGTONE.

HI, MOM.

MOM!WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- HI, HONEY.

- SO ON THIS SAD,AND YET HAPPY DAY,

LET'S ALL RAISE A GLASSTO CELEBRATE THE RETIREMENT

OF EVERYONE'S FAVORITEPARK RANGER,

THE GLUE THAT HELD US ALLTOGETHER FOR SO MANY YEARS,

TO...

HAROLD.

- WHO THE [bleep] IS HAROLD?

- I'VE NEVER HEARD OF HIM.

- WOODY PUT HIM ON LOOKOUT DUTY

IN THE FIRE TOWER 20 YEARS AGOAND FORGOT TO RELIEVE HIM.

- SO HE SPENT TWO DECADESBY HIMSELF IN A SMALL TOWER?

- WOW, HE'S LUCKYHE DIDN'T GO NUTS.

- YOU'RE THE DEVIL.

I WILL BURN YOU!

[high-pitched]YOU GOT TO CATCH ME FIRST.

[laughs demonically]

- TEQUILA SUNRISE,HOLD THE SUNRISE.

[glass shatters]

- IT'S ON THE HOUSE.

- WELL, AREN'T YOU A SWEETHEART.

- DO YOU REALLY THINKTHE BARTENDER

JUST GAVE YOU A FREE DRINKBECAUSE HE'S A SWEETHEART?

- YEAH, WHY ELSE?

- BECAUSE YOUR PANTSARE SO TIGHT,

I CAN READ THE MILEAGEON YOUR VAGINA.

- THAT IS SO SEXIST.

I DON'T GET PREFERENTIALTREATMENT BECAUSE OF MY LOOKS.

HE GIVES OUT DRINKSBECAUSE HE'S A NICE GUY.

- CAN I GET A GLASSOF TAP WATER?

- BEAT IT, SEA WORLD.

[uplifting music]

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