After a couple minutesof more conversation,
I tried to move a little closerto her on the sofa.
And she was like, "Oh, hey.
"I don't want you to getthe wrong impression.
"I know it's 2:00in the morning.
"I kind of wanted you to justcome over and hang out,
"so we can get to knoweach other and be friends.
Is that okay?"
I was like, "Yeah, I wish youwould have told me that
before I came over here."
She's like, "Why? What's wrong?"
I was like, "Nothing's wrong.
"It's just miscommunication.
"Normally, when I get a text tohang out at 1:00 in the morning,
I just assumeit's about to go down."
She's like, "What gives youthat impression?"
I was like, "Society."
Like, I don't... I don't know.
The girl got mad at meafter I told her that, though.
She was like, "Ugh.
"I just don't understand why
"ever since I movedto Cleveland,
"everyone I meet'sjust trying to have sex,
and no one is tryingto build a friendship."
I was like,"It's probably 'cause
"you're trying to buildyour friendships
at 2:00 in the morning, um..."
She's like,"You know what?
Maybe you should go."
I was like, "All right.
Good luck with your food truck."
I put a status up on Facebook.
It said, "Dear Ladies,
"please stop inviting meto your place at 1:00 a.m.
"for friendly chats.
"It's very confusing.
"Keep it in the 1:00 p.m. rangewhere it belongs.
Hugs and disappointment,Ramon Rivas II."
Because the way Facebook works,
my mom was the first personto comment on it.
My mom's comment,like all mom comments,
was way too positive.
My mom's comment was,"You tell them, her loss."
It's like, the worlddoesn't need to know
you have confidence in my D.