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XXX Overload

  • 05/21/2014
  • Views: 14,354

Bethiffer tests out a virtual reality gaming console, Jeff needs to have sex in order to save the world, and an ob-gyn magician performs tricks in the delivery room. (21:11)

♪ THE GALACTIC COUNCILSENT THEM ♪

all:♪ AND HERE'S THE REASON WHY

- ♪ THEIR MISSION IS TO STUDY

♪ EARTH'S MOST AVERAGE GUY

all: ♪ TO SEE IF HUMANSARE WORTH SAVIN' ♪

♪ OR IF EVERYONE HAS TO DIE

- WAIT, WHAT?

- SEE YOU AROUND, JEFF.

WE'RE GOIN' HOME.

OUR MISSION'S OVER.

- REALLY?

WHY?

- ONE OF THE MAIN REASONSWE WERE SENT HERE

WAS TO FIND OUT IF HUMANSWERE CAPABLE OF LOVE.

- AND ALL WE WERE ABLE TOSHOW 'EM WAS THIS OLD THING.

- LINDA, I'VE GOT SOMETHINGI WANT TO SAY.

WELL, SING.

♪ LINDA

♪ THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL

♪ IN THE WORLD-A

CHECK IT OUT!

MY WHOLE FAMILY'S HERE!

all: ♪ LINDA

♪ WE WANT YOUTO JOIN OUR FAMILY ♪

- UH...HUH...- LINDA?

LINDA, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

GUYS, PLEASE!

I TOLD YOU I NEVER WANT TOSEE THAT VIDEO AGAIN.

- WE ALSO SUBMITTED75-PLUS HOURS OF THIS.

- OH, LINDA.

[crying]

- I TOLD YOU GUYS NOT TORECORD ME DURING JEFF TIME.

- YEAH, BUT AFTER REVIEWINGTHE DATA,

THE GALACTIC COUNCIL DECIDEDIT WOULD BE BEST

TO JUST VAPORIZETHE WHOLE PLANET.

- WAIT, WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT?

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

THIS IS AN AMAZINGAND BEAUTIFUL PLACE--

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!SLOW DOWN, BUDDY.

ALL YOU GOT TO DOIS GET OUT THERE

AND MAKE LOVE TO SOMEBODY

BEFORE THE ANNIHILATION FLEETGETS HERE.

- THAT'S ALL I GOT TO DO.OKAY, HOW MUCH TIME DO I HAVE?

- 23 MINUTES.

[gasps]

- HI, CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?

- SURE.

I GUESS I'LL HAVE A VODKA TONIC.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, WAIT.

MAYBE I WANT A WHITE WINE.

- OKAY--- EXCEPT YOU KNOW WHAT?

THEY NEVER HAVE GOOD WINEAT BARS.

HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT?- UH-HUH, THEY--

- OKAY,I WANT A DRINK.

WHAT DRINK DO I WANT?UH, I CAN DO THIS!

- HEY, YOU WANT TO END UPA SCORCHED CORPSE?

MAKE UP YOUR [bleep] MIND.

- OOH, I AM NOT GOING DOWNTHIS ROAD AGAIN.

- EVERYBODY LISTEN TO ME.

THIS MAY SOUND CRAZY,BUT ALIEN SHIPS ARE COMING,

AND THEY'RE GONNA KILL USALL UNLESS

SOMEONE IN THIS BARHAS SEX WITH ME,

AND THE CLOCK IS TICKIN',LADIES.

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

WE'RE ALL GONNA--OH!

[groans]

IT'S OVER.

- ♪ LINDA - WHAT?

- CHECK IT OUT.IT'S THE DUDE FROM THE VIDEO.

- LINDA.

LINDA!

LINDA!

- JEFF?

- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

EVERY BEAUTIFUL THINGON THIS PLANET,

EVERY MOTHER AND CHILD,

EVERY BEE DRINKING NECTARFROM A FLOWER...

IF IT SEESTHE LIGHT OF DAY TOMORROW,

IT'S ONLY BECAUSEOF THE STRENGTH OF OUR LOVE.

- I DON'T KNOW IF I TOTALLYUNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN,

BUT IT SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL.

YOU WANT TO COME IN?

- OH, THANK JESUS.

[both moaning]

- WELL, PERHAPS WE'VEUNDERESTIMATED THIS PLANET.

POWER DOWN THE DEATH RAYS.

[choir singingin foreign language]

- SIR, YOU MIGHT WANT TOLOOK AT THIS.

- SERIOUSLY, JEFF, IT'S JUST--IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

- NO, NO, NO.I--THIS IS WEIRD.

THIS NEVER HAPPENS TO ME.

I MEAN, MAYBEI DRANK TOO MUCH WHISKEY.

HEY, CAN I SEE YOUR LAPTOP?

MAYBE IF I LOOKED AT SOME PORNOR SOME--

AAH!

[boom]

CARL, DID YOU EAT ALLTHE CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH?

- HOLD IT.SHUT UP FOR A SECOND.

- CARL?- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT

I JUST REALIZEDIS AWESOME ABOUT GOOGLE?

GOOGLE'S NAME SPELLED BACKWARDS

IS THE SAMEAS ITS NAME IN SPANISH.

- ELGOOG?

- THAT'S BRANDING ONA WHOLE OTHER LEVEL, MAN.

LIKE 3-D CHECKERS AND SHIT.

- ELGOOG.- GOOGLE'S ALL POWERFUL!

THERE'S NOTHING GOOGLECAN'T GOOGLE.

- I COULD STUMP THE GOOG.- [scoffs]

IF ANYBODY'S GONNA STUMPTHE GOOG, IT'S GONNA BE ME.

- OH, YEAH?- OH, YEAH.

- OH, YEAH?- OH, YEAH.

- YOU'RE ON.

both: STUMP THE GOOG!

[acid guitar]

- AND WE'RE IN.- YEAH, ME FIRST.

GOOGLE A MONKEY RAPINGA SOCK MONKEY.

- [screeching]

- [laughing]OH, YOU'RE WELCOME!

- GOOGLE CATACORN.

- [meow]

- OKAY, GOOGLE A MONKEYRAPING A BANANA.

- WHAT IS WITH YOURMONKEY RAPING THING?

- [screeching]

OKAY, LET'S DANCE.

CLOWN DOING LAUNDRY.

- CELEBRITY COLONOSCOPIES.

- MEXICAN LEPRECHAUN.

- PIÑATAS GONE WILD.

- WOOKIE NOOGIE.

- EROTIC SHRUBBERY.

- MIDGET NINJAS WHO ALSO MIME.

- QUADRIPLEGIC STRIPPER.

- URINE BLOWBACK.- ASS CARPET.

- SEXY JESUS.- PLATY [bleep].

- FICUS FLIGHT CLUB.- SHARDS OF GLASS-CICLE.

- PUBE OF THE MONTH CLUB.- SACK-O-LANTERN.

- GOLLUM ON VACATION.- EJACULA.

- TAMPON TEA.- MUPPETS GETTIN' BUSY.

- FRUIT PORN!

- JESUS, DUDE.

OH, I GOT ONE!MOVE.

A MONKEY RAPING--OW!

- GREETINGS, MY FRIENDS.

DO YOU MIND IF I UPLOAD MYSELF?

I AM ELGOOG,KEEPER OF THE GOOGLE.

[retches]

- WHAT THE [bleep]?- OH, GOD.

- I MUST INSISTTHE TWO OF YOU--HOW DO YOU SAY?

CUT THE SHIT.

THE GOOGLE IS NOT A TOY.

IT IS A TOOLTO BE USED RESPONSIBLY

TO ACCESS INFORMATION,

AND, OF COURSE,FOR THE BOOBIES.

IT IS NOT FOR YOU TWO DIPSHITSTO GOOGLE WILLY-NILLY.

- HEY, THIS IS AMERICA,GOOGLE LARD ASS,

AND I DON'T RECALL GOOGLINGSEÑOR BABY FAT [bleep] FACE.

WE DIDN'T, DID WE, ANU?

- NO, BUT MAYBE WE SHOULD.

GOOGLE ELGOOG.

- NO, NO.YOU CANNOT GOOGLE THE GOOGLE!

I COMMAND YOU TO STOP![yelling]

[boom]

- ANU.

- WHAT?

- I DID EAT ALLTHE CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH.

[telephone rings]

- WHAT DO YOU SAYWE CUT HER IN HALF?

WHO'S IN THE MOOD FORA WACKY, SPLACKY C-SECTION?

[toot]- ABSOLUTELY NOT.

NOW, IF WE CAN GET BACKTO THIS DELIVERY, I--

- WHAT'S THAT?I THINK I SEE A RABBIT

IN THAT FURRY, MEATY,

HAM-FLAVORED PENIS COZYOF YOURS.

LET'S INVESTIGATE.

- [shrieks]

[Muzak playing]

- AAH!

- WAH!

OH!

NO RABBIT,JUST A BABY.

- OH, THANK GOODNESS.

IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?

- [laughs]

KA-POW!MAGIC.

- OH, NO!

MY BABY!MY BABY!

- THE HELL JUST HAPPENED,DOCTOR?

- RELAX,IT'S ALL AN ILLUSION.

YOUR BABY IS SAFELYNESTLED RIGHT HERE.

WA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA.

- [crying]

- WAIT, WAIT,HOW--WHAT THE--

- YAY.YAY!

OH, DON'T DO THAT TO ME.

YOU KNOW, I NEARLYHAD A HEART ATTACK.

THANK YOU, DOCTOR,FOR DELIVERING MY BABY.

- IMPOSSIBLE!

WE JUST ALL WITNESSED YOUEAT THAT NEWBORN.

WHAT, WERE YOU WALKING AROUNDWITH A FAKE BABY

COVERED IN CORN SYRUPOR SOMETHING?

WHERE WOULD YOU EVEN PUT THAT?

- A MAGICIAN NEVER REVEALSHIS SECRETS.

UMBILICAL CORD BLOWUP ANIMAL,ANYONE?

- WELL, THANK YOU, DOCTOR.

MAY I HOLD HIM?- ABSOLUTELY.

WUMP-WUMP.

JUST KIDDING.

- OH, GOD, RIGHT.

SO BEFORE WE HAVEANY COMPLICATIONS, GUYS,

LET'S GO IN THEREAND GET THE OTHER BABY.

- WHAT?I'M HAVING TWINS?

- DAMN IT, HARRISON.

I TOLD YOU A MAGICIANNEVER REVEALS HIS SECRETS!

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