share

Kneehigh Park & Making da Band

P. Diddy gives unusual requests, and Snoop Dogg visits Kneehigh Park; appearances by Q-Tip and Wyclef Jean. (21:33)

all:DUDES' NIGHT OUT!

YEAH!

DUDES, DUDES, DUDES.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,YOU KNOW?

OH.

YO, EXCUSE ME,WHAT ARE YOU--

- HEY, MAN, WHAT DO YOU MEAN,DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT?

I BOUGHT THAT BITCHA DRINK!

I DON'T PLAY THAT GAME!

EH! EH!- LOOK OUT, BILLY!

- OH! WHAT?

YOU THINKTHIS IS A GAME, BIATCH?

THIS IS DUDES' NIGHT OUT!

- [screaming]

MOTHERFUCKER!

[screaming]

all:DUDES' NIGHT OUT!

- ONLY REASON I'M CRYIN' IS'CAUSE OF THE ADRENALINE.

- [retches wetly]

- OH, NO, MAN, NO!

all:DUDES' NIGHT OUT!

[urine splashing]

[man grunting]

all:DUDES' NIGHT OUT!

- HEY, HEY,LITTLE LADY.

Y'ALL WANNA PARTY WITH US?

OH!

OH, NIGGA, THAT'S A DUDE!

- SHUT THE FUCK UP, DAVE.

I AM DRUNK,AND I AM HORNY.

HEY, BABY.

HA!YOU'RE JEALOUS, DAVE!

- NO, DON'T DO IT!NO!

all:DUDES' NIGHT OUT!

- LET'S GO.

- LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

- YO.A MOUTH'S A MOUTH, MAN.

- WHAT?- I'M OUT.

- BILLY,WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

BILLY.BILLY!

AH!

- I'M JUST GONNA BE A MINUTE.

- HEY, STEVE!HEY, YOU GUYS!

- YO, TONYA--TONY--WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS.

- BYE, DAVE.

- WHEN IT'S DUDES' NIGHT OUT,

IT'S GOT TO BE SCHLIPP'S.

[cheers and applause]

- CONGRATULATIONS.

Y'ALL MADE IT INSIDETHE HOUSE.

YOU DID GOOD.

ALL RIGHT,THIS IS WHAT'S UP:

YOU CAN LIVE HERE.YOU CAN RECORD HERE.

YOU CAN BEBAD BOY ARTISTS HERE,

BUT IF YOU WANNA DO IT,

FIRST Y'ALL GOTTA WALK TO QUEENSAND GET ME A SUGAR COOKIE.

- A SUGAR COOKIE?MAN, THIS IS CRAZY.

- WE GOT IT.COME ON, MAN.

BAD BOY.

- A SUGAR COOKIE, MAN.

LOOK, THIS IS NOT WHAT I GOT INTHE MUSIC BUSINESS TO BE DOING,

TO BE A SUGAR COOKIE-GETTER.

YOU KNOW, I'M A RAPPER.

WHO ARE THE FIVE BEST RAPPERSOF ALL TIME?

THINK ABOUT IT.

DYLAN, DYLAN,

DYLAN, DYLAN,AND DYLAN

BECAUSE I SPIT HOT FIRE.

- THAT'S A GOOD-ASSSUGAR COOKIE.

YOU GUYS ARE OFFICIAL NOW.WELCOME TO BAD BOY.

IT'S BAD BOY, BABY.

CAN'T STOP.WON'T STOP.

UH-UH, UH-UH.

I'M SENDING Y'ALLTO THE STUDIO.

I WANT YOU TO TURNDADDY OUT A HIT,

BUT I NEED YOU TO BEA FAMILY UNIT

AND LOVE EACH OTHER,OR THIS WILL NEVER WORK.

- THAT'S RIGHT, MAN,THAT'S RIGHT.

- GO OUT THEREAND GET DADDY A HIT.

I'M GONNA TAKE A NAP.

- WHAT'D YOU DO?

[all shouting]

- LET 'EM FIGHT!LET 'EM FIGHT!

[all shouting]

- I'M SHUTTIN'THE STUDIO DOWN.

[record scratches]

[all scoff]

- THE ONLY WAY I COULDKEEP THE STUDIO OPEN

IS IF Y'ALL GO OUT

AND WALK THROUGHNORTHERN NEW JERSEY,

GET ME A SETOF LEFT-HANDED GOLF CLUBS.

I ALSO NEED YOU TO TAKEA PICTURE WITH A MIDGET

HOLDIN' THESE BALLOONS.

TAKE A PICTURE WITH A MIDGET

HOLDIN' THESE BALLOONS,HOLDIN' THESE BALLOONS.

YOU DID IT.

YOU WENT OUT, YOU FOUND MY MAN--YOU FOUND A MIDGET, MAN--

AND YOU GOT THE PICTURES;YOU GOT THE GOLF CLUBS.

HERE'S THE KEYSTO THE STUDIO.

NOW, IF Y'ALL EXCUSE ME,

I'M GOING SCUBA DIVING WITHCHRIS TUCKER AND AQUAMAN.

YOU BE COOL.

GIDDYUP.

[people clamoring]

- WHAT'S HAPPENING?

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A FAMILY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOT LIKE THIS, MAN!

- Y'ALL NOT WORKIN' LIKE A TEAM.

I GOTTA SHUTTHE STUDIO DOWN, YO.

[record scratches]

ALL RIGHT, THE ONLY WAYI'LL OPEN THE STUDIO UP NOW--

Y'ALL GOTTA WALK UPTOWNTO THE BRONX

AND GET BREAST MILKFROM A CAMBODIAN IMMIGRANT.

I ONLY DRINKTHE FINEST BREAST MILKS.

GO OUT THEREAND MILK A CAMBODIAN.

IT'S 100% CAMBODIAN, YO.

IT'S THE REAL SHIT.

[bottles clinking]

♪ BREAST MILK

♪ YOU MADE MY DA-AY

NOT ONLY AM I GONNAOPEN THE STUDIO UP,

I'M SENDIN' YOU IN THEREWITH A LEGEND.

THAT'S RIGHT,WYCLEF, PLAYBOY.

- NO DISRESPECT,I WANTED TO WORK WITH WYCLEF

MORE THAN I WANTEDTO WORK WITH PUFF.

- YO, DYLAN, YOU READYTO GET IT STARTED, BABY?

- ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

[clears throat]

♪ BUMBACLAAT, BUMBACLAAT

♪ BUMBA BUMBA BUMBACLAAT

♪ A RUMP UN TOMP,A RUMP UN TING ♪

♪ A RUMPA TUMPA TUMP,A RUMP UN STING ♪

♪ I RIP AND I RHYME,I RHYME AND I RIP ♪

♪ DIS IS THE WAYTHAT DYLAN SPITS ♪

YOU--YOU TRYIN' TO GETSOME OF THIS HOT FIRE?

- WE CAN EITHER MAKE THIS SONGOR NOT MAKE THIS SONG.

- YOU'RE TOO CLOSE, MAN!YOU'RE TOO CLOSE, MAN!

- HEY, Y'ALL GONNA CHOKEA LEGEND?

YOU DON'T THINKI WANT TO CHOKE PEOPLE?

YOU CAN'T JUST CHOKEALL YOUR PROBLEMS.

THIS TAKES HARD WORK.

IF I HAD MY WAY,I'D NEVER WORK.

I'D JUST STAY HOME ALL DAY,WATCH SCARFACE 50 TIMES,

EAT A TURKEY SANDWICH,

AND HAVE SEX ALL FUCKIN' DAY.

THEN I'D DRESS UP LIKE A CLOWNAND SURPRISE KIDS AT SCHOOLS.

THEN I'D TAKE A DUMPIN THE BACK OF A MOVIE THEATER

AND JUST WAIT

TILL SOMEBODY SAT IN IT,HEAR IT SQUISH.

THAT'S FUNNY TO ME.

THEN I'D PAINT AND READAND PLAY VIOLIN.

I'D CLIMB THE MOUNTAINS

AND SING THE SONGSTHAT I LIKE TO SING.

BUT I DON'T GOTTHAT KIND OF TIME.

PLAYBOY.PLAYBOY.

YOU JUST GONNA COMBYOUR HAIR, PLAYBOY?

SARA, YOU JUST GONNA TALK UPALL YOUR ANYTIME MINUTES?

IS THIS ANYTIME?HUH?

BABS, YOU JUST GONNA SIT THEREAND CHOP ONIONS RIGHT NOW, HUH?

GOOD TIME TO CHOP ONIONS?

LOOK AT THIS NIGGA.

YOU JUST GONNADO YOUR TAXES, NESS?

YOU JUST GONNA SIT THEREAND CRUNCH NUMBERS?

HUH, IS THAT HOT?

IS THAT WHAT'S GOIN' ONIN THE STREETS RIGHT NOW,

YOUR TAXES?

ALL RIGHT, LOOK.

I GOT SOME GOOD NEWS,AND I GOT SOME BAD NEWS, Y'ALL.

THE BAD NEWS IS THATI'M SHUTTIN' DOWN THE STUDIO.

[record scratches]

THE GOOD NEWS

IS THAT I JUST SAVED A LOTOF MONEY ON MY CAR INSURANCE.

FONZWORTH,BRING ME A SANDWICH!

[Outkast's The Way You Move playing]

[upbeat hip-hop music]

HE CAN FLY, MAN.

HE CAN FLY.HE BELIEVES IN HIMSELF.

- ♪ I LIKE THE WAY YOU MOVE

- EH-EH, EH-EH, EH-EH.

- ♪ I LIKE THE WAY YOU MOVE

[cheers and applause]

all:IT'S STINKY THE GROM.

- FUCK YOU TOO.

- WHAT'S WRONG, STINKY?

- BESIDES LIVINGIN A TRASH CAN

AND HAVING A SYRINGE LODGEDIN MY FUCKING HEAD,

NOTHING, I GUESS.

WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS,ANYWAY?

- MY MOMMY AND DADDYARE AT WORK.

- OH, YEAH?

WELL, ME, I GAVE UP WORKINGA LONG TIME AGO.

- DON'T GIVE UP, STINKY.

MY DAD SAYS IF YOU NEVERGIVE UP AND WORK HARD,

ALL YOUR DREAMSWILL COME TRUE.

- THAT'S THE GAYEST SHITI EVER HEARD.

- WHAT?

[bouncy bass music]

- ♪ I DON'T BELIEVE YO' PAPPY ♪

♪ HE MAY BE RICH,BUT HE AIN'T HAPPY ♪

♪ TELLS YOU 'BOUT WORKAND YOU WANT TO BE HIM ♪

♪ BUT WHEN'S THE LAST TIMEYOU GOT TO SEE HIM? ♪

♪ HE WORKS HARD, WHY?

♪ SO YOU CAN GO OUTAND BUY ♪

♪ A BUNCH OF SHITTHAT YOU DON'T NEED ♪

♪ DRIVEN BY YOUR PUNK-ASSHOPES AND GREED ♪

♪ THAT'S WHYI SAY ♪

♪ FUCK IT

♪ FOR THE FIRST TIMEIN MY LIFE ♪

♪ I'M FINALLY FREE ♪

♪ NO MANSION FOR ME

♪ I SAID "FUCK IT"

♪ NO BRAND-NEW HUMVEE

♪ I SAY "FUCK IT"

- ♪ BUT YOU'LL GET NO PUSSY ♪

- ♪ FUCK IT

♪ WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ♪

♪ IS I MAKE LOVE TO MY HAND

♪ SO I DON'T NEED YOU, HONEY ♪

♪ I BEAT MY DICKLIKE IT OWES ME MONEY ♪

♪ FUCK IT

THAT'S RIGHT,I SAID FUCK IT.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I'M GONNA MAKE MEA NICE FECES SANDWICH.

AND, HEY,YOU'RE CHRIS ROCK!

- IT'S DAVE CHAPPELLE,BUT CLOSE ENOUGH.

- WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?

- WELL, DANGLE'SNOT FEELING WELL,

SO I'M TAKING HIMTO THE DOCTOR.

- WHAT'S WRONG, DANGLE?

- ACTUALLY,IT'S MY PENIS.

- WHAT'S THAT?

[unzips pants]

all: EW.

- WHEN I PEE-PEE,IT BURNS LIKE HELL.

I HAVE WHAT'S KNOWNAS A VENEREAL DISEASE.

- HOW DID YOU GET IT?

- FROM FUCKING.

I GOT SO MUCH PUPPET ASS,IT COULD BE FROM ANYWHERE.

- WHAT'S THE SICKNESS CALLED?

- I'M NOT SURE, ROBERT.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE GOINGTO THE DOCTOR.

THERE'S A LOT OF DIFFERENT KINDSOF PENIS SICKNESSES OUT THERE.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, Q-TIP?

- THAT'S RIGHT, DAVE,ALL KINDS.

♪ SEX ISN'T WRONGBUT YOU GOTTA BE RIGHT ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE HITTING THE SHEETS ♪

♪ THEN WRAP IT UP TIGHT

♪ LISTEN UP, KIDS,'CAUSE I AIN'T JOKIN' ♪

♪ ONE BAD DECISION

♪ YOUR DICK WILL BE SMOKIN' ♪

♪ YOU'LL CATCH A V.D.BUT DON'T TAKE IT FROM ME ♪

[traditional French music]

[sizzling]

OH, HELLO, DAVE CHAPPELLE,HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR A WHILE.

WHAT'S IT BEEN,TWO MONTHS?

- DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER.

OH, HERE COME THE CRABS.

[bright Latin music]

♪ THE CRABS

- ♪ OH, YES

both: ♪ THE CRAB, THE CRABS

- OLE!

- THIS NIGGA'S A FREAK.

[upbeat music]

♪ I'M THE HERPES,THE HERPES ♪

SEE YOU IN HELL,MOTHERFUCKERS.

OOH, BABY,I LIKE IT RAW.

- OH, GOSH.

- WOW, LIFE IS HARD.- NAH, IT'S NOT, LISA.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK,IF YOU JUST REMEMBER

TO KEEP YOUR GENITALSOUT OF HARM'S WAY,

DON'T CHASE MONEY,AND REFRAIN FROM LITTERING,

YOU'LL BE A WINNER.

[kids cheer]

- Q-TIP, TAKE US HOME!

COME ON, KIDS!

- ♪ IT'S A V.D. DAY ♪

- ♪ V.D. DAY,A V.D. DAY ♪

- ♪ IT'S A V.D. DAY ♪

- ♪ V.D. DAY,A V.D. DAY ♪

Loading...