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Karaoke Bullies

Nash Rickey helps Niece Denise confront a karaoke bully, the Pawnsylvania guys prepare for Murph's wedding, and Larry Bird tends bar on the sitcom "Chairs." (21:13)

[rock music]

- I'M NASH RICKEY...

A ROCK AND ROLL LEGENDWHO LOST HIS TOP 40 VIRGINITY

WITH THE SEMISMASH HIT L.A. DELI.

♪ L.A. DELI

TODAY I'M GOING TO PICK A FIGHTWITH A BULLY.

TODAY'S BULLY VICTIM ISA SWEET 15-YEAR-OLD ANGEL

BY THE NAME OF DENISE.

LET'S MEET HER.

- MY NAME IS DENISE.

I'M ABOUT TOTURN 15 YEARS OLD.

ONE OF MY PASSIONSIN LIFE IS SINGING SONGS.

♪ WILL YOU BE THE FIRSTTO TAKE ME ALL THE WAY? ♪

THERE WAS THIS GIRL, BRITNEY,

AND SHE'S A KARAOKE BULLY

BECAUSE SHE OFTEN STEALSTHE MIC

AND SHE PUSHES IN TOO MANY SONGSTO THE SYSTEM.

- CAN I PLEASEHAVE THE MICROPHONE?

CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE IT BACK?

- I NEED HELP TO TAKETHE MICROPHONE BACK

SO THAT I CAN SINGMY OWN SONGS.

- I MET WITH SWEET DENISEBEFORE HER BIRTHDAY PARTY

TO FIND OUT MOREABOUT HER BULLY.

- WELL, BASICALLY,I'VE BEEN DEALING

WITH THIS GIRL, BRITNEY,IN MY CLASS.

- WATCH OUT, BRITNEY.

I'M COMING FOR YOU.

I'M GONNA DECIMATETHIS GIRL, BRITNEY,

AND LET ME TELL YOU.

I'M NOT A STRANGERTO THE FISTS OF A WOMAN.

- LISTEN, ALL I WANT TO HAPPENIS FOR BRITNEY TO BE TOLD

THAT SHE CAN'T TAKEOTHER PEOPLE'S KARAOKE TIME.

A LOT OF GIRLS IN MY CLASSARE HAVING KARAOKE PARTIES.

- AS I LISTENEDTO SWEET DENISE,

I REALIZED THAT THE SHOWWAS NOT KARATE BULLIES,

BUT INSTEAD, KARAOKE BULLIES,WHICH WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE

WITH MY HISTORY OF SINGING.

- THIS IS NOT KARATE BULLIES,BECAUSE I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT.

- THIS IS A KARAOKE BULLY SHOW.

I THOUGHT THE SHOWWAS KARATE BULLIES,

AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING MEIT'S KARAOKE BULLIES?

WELL, WELL, WELL,THE PLANS HAVE CHANGED.

I WAS DRESSED UPIN A KARATE OUTFIT.

I WILL NOW DISGUISE MYSELFAS A TONE-DEAF BUSINESSMAN.

NO ONE WOULD EXPECT

THAT UNDERNEATH THIS SQUAREBUSINESSMAN SUIT,

LAY NASH RICKEY,A LION READY TO POUNCE.

HIYA. HIYA.

TO PULL THIS ALL OFF,

I'M GONNA HAVE TO TURNTO A HIGHER POWER--

MUSIC ITSELF.

- THIS IS AN ORIGINAL

1983 MO CHEEKS NBA CHAMPIONSHIPKEY CHAIN.

- I'LL GIVE YOU $50 FOR IT.- YOU A JOKESTER?

- OOH, BABE,HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

- YOU LOOK AS BEAUTIFULAS THE BETSY ROSS BRIDGE

ALL LIT UP WITH LIGHTNING BUGS.- I DON'T KNOW.

YOU DON'T THINK I LOOK LIKEI'M HANDING OUT SLAP JOBS

UNDER THE OVERPASS NEAR THEPENN'S LANDING DAVE & BUSTERS?

- NO, YOU LOOK LIKE PRINCESS DIIN A GOWN BEFORE SHE DIED.

NOT ONLYAM I AN OWNER/OPERATOR,

BUT I'M ALSO GONNA BE A GROOM.

SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO CHEATON THE SLY NOW.

- MURPHY'S BEING SO NICE ANDLETTING ME PICK OUT ANY DRESS

I WANT FROM THE ENTIRE SHOP.

ALSO, AT THE REHEARSAL DINNER,

HE SAID WE COULD HAVEA WATER ICE FOUNTAIN.

- I WANT TO GIVE TERESA THEDREAM WEDDING OF HER DREAMS.

IT'S GETTINGEXPENSIVE, THOUGH.

THEM WATER ICE FOUNTAINSCOST UP TO $425.

- $65.

- SAY HI TO BOTHYOUR AUNT JOANNES FOR ME.

- SAY HI TO YOURS.

- HEY, YO, MURPH, WHYDON'T YOU GO ON BREAK?

GET A LUNCH OVERAT WAWA.

YOU KNOW, IT'S HOAGIEFEST.

- HEY, JOE, WHY DON'T YOUQUIT CRAWLING UP MY ASS?

I'M JOKING.YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF ME.

YOU WANT TO BE THE BEST MANAT MY WEDDING?

- YES.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE ASKING ME,'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT'S--

THE EAGLES GOT NOBODYPROTECTING THEIR QUARTERBACK,

RIGHT?

I NEED--I NEED TO HAVE A SMOKE.

- HEY, WHAT'S UP,YOUSE JAGOFFS?

IT'S TWO SLICK DICKSFROM ROUTE 76.

THAT'S THE TURNPIKE.

WHAT'S UP, BRO?WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE?

- YES.WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE.

I ASKED DON TO BRING BYSOME STUFF WE COULD PAWN

IN BALTIMORE,BECAUSE FINANCIALLY SPEAKING,

I'M UNDERWATER.

- YEAH, MURPHHASN'T REALLY ASKED ME,

LIKE, OUTRIGHTTO BE HIS BEST MAN,

BUT, LIKE, COME ON,WHO'S HE GONNA ASK, JOE?

- YOU WANT TO BE THE BEST MANAT MY WEDDING?

- YES.

- THAT'S SO PRETTY.

- THANK YOU.- CONGRATULATIONS.

- IT'S A DOLPHIN.[dolphin chittering]

- I LIKE DOLPHINS AS LONGAS THEY'RE NOWHERE NEAR MIAMI.

[laughter]

EVEN THOUGH DAN MARINOWENT TO CENTRAL CATHOLIC--

NOT BAD.

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.WHERE'S THE BLOWHOLE?

- I HOPE WE SEE SOME OF THESEDOLPHINS DOWN OCEAN CITY.

- YEAH, GO DOWN TO MARYLANDAND GET SOME CRABS.

- DUDE, I'M TORQUED.

- MARYLAND IS HUMIDAS BALLS, MAN.

I FEEL LIKEI'M IN POLAMALU'S HOMELAND.

- SO WE WERE MEETINGWITH OUR COUSIN,

DANNY'S BROTHER-IN-LAW,PAUL, AND HIS FRIEND NEIL,

AND THESE ARE

A COUPLE BIG-TIME BALTIMOREPAWNSHOP OWNER/OPERATORS.

I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW

HOW THEY DO BUSINESS DOWNHERE IN MARYLAND.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GETDOWN TO BUSINESS HERE.

WHERE DO YOU WANT USTO LAY THE PRODUCT?

- RIGHT ON THE PAVEMENT.

- THAT'S HOW WE DOBUSINESS DOWN HERE.

- FIRST UP,BALTIMORE FILMMAKER

JOHN WATERS SIGNED POSTER.

- OKAY.

- SECOND UP, EDGAR ALLEN POE,FEET OF A CROW

- HE WROTE MOSTOF HIS GOOD STUFF IN PHILLY.

- HE WROTE HIS SPOOKIEST STUFFIN BALTIMORE.

- YEAH, 'CAUSE THE CITY'SA NIGHTMARE.

- HE'S FROM ENGLAND.

BIG BEN KNOWS WHAT TIME IT IS.

- I'M WACKO FOR FLACCO.

- FLACCO'S A JACKHOLE.- [bleep] OFF.

- SPEAKING OF THE RAVENS,

WE GOT AN AUTOGRAPHEDRAY LEWIS FINGERPRINT.

[siren wailing]- NOTED THUG.

- WHAT IF I GAVE $330?- O...KAY.

- ALL RIGHT.

- OR I CAN GIVE YOU

SOME HONUS WAGNERPRE-OWNED COLOGNE.

- WHOA. HONUS WAGNERPRE-OWNED COLOGNE?

THAT'S WORTH ITS WEIGHTIN GOLD BACK IN THE 'BURGH, BRO.

I COULD GET, LIKE, $650FOR THAT AT THE STORE.

- HOW ABOUT YOU SHOW MESOME COUSINLY LOVE.

I COULD REALLY USE THAT CASHFOR THAT WATER ICE FOUNTAIN.

- ALL RIGHT, THEN.IT'S YOUR WEDDING.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

- YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN.- FINALLY IT'S OFFICIAL.

- DEAL.- ♪ YOU DID IT

- MY NAME IS GABE LIEDMAN,

- MAUREEN, YOU'RE LATE.

- NO KIDDING, LARRY.

I'VE BEEN PREGGOFOR THREE MONTHS HERE.

- LARRY BIRD, IT'S BEGUILINGTO ME WHY YOU STILL DEIGN

TO TEND BAR AT THIS TAVERNOF TEARAWAYS.

YOU'RE ONE OF BOSTON'SBIGGEST SPORTS STARS.

WHY, YOU MAKE BOBBY ORRLOOK LIKE RAY BOURQUE.

- IT'S INTERESTING YOU SAY THAT,KELSEY GRAMMER.

THEY WON'T LET ME INTO THEBOSTON GARDEN TILL 5:00 P.M.

THAT LEAVES MEWITH NINE FREE HOURS.

PLUS, ALWAYS SEEMS LIKETHESE COUNTERS NEED CLEANING.

AIN'T THAT RIGHT,FROZEN HEAD OF TED WILLIAMS?

- WELL, HERE'S SOMETHINGINTERESTING

YOU MIGHT NOTKNOW THERE, LARRY.

YOU KNOW THE FOLKS OVER THEREAT ALCOR

WHO PUT MY HEAD HERE INTO...

all: CRYOGENICALLY FROZENSUSPENDED ANIMATION.

- YEAH, WELL, THEY ALSO MAKESOME DYNAMITE CLEANING PRODUCTS.

- IS LARRY BIRD HERE?

- LOOK WHO IT IS, LARRY--

YOUR FRIEND AND TEAMMATEBILL WALTON.

- WHAT'S UP, BILL?

- IF I'M AROUND,PLENTY OF SMOKE.

- ♪ I WANNA GOWHERE NOBODY KNOWS MY FACE ♪

♪ WHERE PEOPLE ARE PEOPLEAND NOBODY GRABS YOUR SPACE ♪

♪ I WANNA GOWHERE PEOPLE DON'T CARE ♪

♪ WHETHER OR NOT I'M THERE

♪ ALL I NEED IS A DRINKAND A CHAIR ♪

- SO CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?

- OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.I'M GOOD.

- I THOUGHT I SMELLEDA FUNKY CIGARETTE.

- I LOVE ALL YOUR SHOWS, MAN.- THANK YOU.

YES, FRASIER WAS A REALWATERSHED MOMENT FOR ME,

AND BY THE END, I WAS MAKING$400,000 PER EPISODE.

OF COURSE,I TOOK A PAY CUT FOR BOSS,

AS I DEEMED ITAN ARTISTIC CHALLENGE.

AND THIS IS ALLIN THE FUTURE.

- YOU KNOW, IF YOUDON'T WANT TO DRINK,

THEN WHY DID YOU COME HERE?

DO YOU NEED A RIDE TO THE GAME?

ALTHOUGH I'D PREFERTO DRIVE ON MY OWN.

IT'S THE ONLY TIMEI GET ALONE.

- NO, NO, I DON'T NEEDA RIDE ANYWHERE, MAN.

I QUIT THE TEAM.

I'M SICK OF RED AUERBACH'SBULL[bleep], MAN.

- HOW'S COME?- WELL, HE ASKED ME

TO SHAVE MY BEARD,AND I SAID NO,

'CAUSE I GOT NO CHIN, BRO.

- NO CHIN?- I GOT NO BODY.

- CAN I WORK HERE AT CHAIRS?

- THE ANSWERTO THAT QUESTION IS NO,

BECAUSE YOU DO NEED A LICENSETO TEND BAR HERE.

- WELL, BILL, I CAN HELP YOUPASS THE MASSACHUSETTS BAR EXAM.

- MM-MM, NOT RIGHT NOWYOU CAN'T, SACK OF SAND.

IT'S HAPPY HOUR.- HAPPY HOUR?

LIKE, WHEN I GET TO SHOOTBASKETS IN AN EMPTY GYM?

- NO, THE TIMEWHEN YOU ZIP YOUR LIP,

AND START TO POURTHOSE [bleep] SUDS.

- ALL RIGHT, MAUREEN.

- THE ACTING ON CHEERSIS SO, SO, SO GOOD,

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