I just had a birthday. My buddies all took me out. One of them pipes up, out of nowhere, he's like, 'You know, out of all of us, D, you're the only one, man, who does not have any kids. I said, 'Ha-ha-ha-ha, yeah!' And the other one said, 'What's your secret?' 'Condoms.' You know what he says? 'I don't wear rubbers, man. You can't feel nothing with a condom on.' Alright, try it with half your paycheck missing -- you'll feel that.
Watch highlights from season one and find out why that's great news.
Get full episodes of your favorite shows on the Comedy Central app.
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best Comedy Central specials for just $5.
Stream hours of the best clips from our huge stand-up library on your iPhone or iPad for free.