I got some advice if there's any single dudes in the room. If you ever have to go in for surgery, for whatever reason, they want to put a lot of hot chicks involved in the surgery process. There's always, like, hot surgical interns running around, getting you water and making sure that you're peeing. And you're gonna try to hit on them, and that's not going to work at all. See 'cause you're going to be lying half-naked on a table with a paper napkin over your giblets. You're not going to get laid. It's not gonna work. I don't know what I was thinking, like, 'Maybe they'll write their number on my d**k napkin?' Didn't work at all.
Watch highlights from season one and find out why that's great news.
Get full episodes of your favorite shows on the Comedy Central app.
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best Comedy Central specials for just $5.
Stream hours of the best clips from our huge stand-up library on your iPhone or iPad for free.