Every time I'm on the subway platform and it smells like sh*t, I want to grab someone. I just want to hold them by the collar and go, 'Guess why it smells like sh*t here? Guess why.' And right as they're staring back at me, just go, ''Cause a person sh*t here. A person did.' There's no stray dogs in this city. A human being was like, 'Yeah, right here. Good place.' Not even a f**king homeless guy, just a businessman, like, 'I'm not waiting. Not waiting. F**k it.'
Watch highlights from season one and find out why that's great news.
Get full episodes of your favorite shows on the Comedy Central app.
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best Comedy Central specials for just $5.
Stream hours of the best clips from our huge stand-up library on your iPhone or iPad for free.