I think people need to think more before they speak. The other day I was walking along the street, and this gorgeous girl rides by on a bicycle. And the guy in the group ahead of me says, 'Man, look at her. Wish I could be that bicycle seat.' I'm like, what? Don't you think that's a little bit of an unrealistic goal? Besides, if you're going for it, why don't you just aim to be the guy that's sleeping with her? Maybe something that doesn't require sorcery.
Check out the list of comedians slated to tape specials in Boston this March.
This year’s fest takes place April 1-5, featuring Chelsea Handler among others.
We combed the nation for the next great stand-up star.
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best Comedy Central specials for just $5.
Stream hours of the best clips from our huge stand-up library on your iPhone or iPad for free.