I don't drink as much as I used to. I don't like those hangovers anymore. Wake up with a splitting headache; your memory comes back like a little radio in your head -- 'Good morning, fool. It's time for the news. You got drunk last night, and you hit on some of the ugliest humans on Earth. Fortunately, you were rejected by all of them. On the financial scene, you blew all your rent money trying to buy condoms from a Pepsi machine. And on the lighter side of the news, you threw up on your front door. But you were at the wrong house, so it turned out OK.'
Check out the list of comedians who taped specials in Boston in March.
This year’s fest takes place April 1-5, featuring Chelsea Handler among others.
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best Comedy Central specials for just $5.
Stream hours of the best clips from our huge stand-up library on your iPhone or iPad for free.