Do you love 'Trading Spaces'? I do. I would never be on that show, though. You want to know why? 'Cause you have to trust your friends to decorate your house. You have not met my friends. They do not have my best interests at heart. 'Cause it's always some over-the-top, eccentric interior designer coming in, going, 'Oh my goodness, I love this place. This is what I'm thinking for your friend's house: circus tent. Big circus tent! Do you think your friend would like a circus tent?' 'Oh yeah, he'd love a circus tent. No, no no no, yeah. Why don't you go dig up the hardwood floors, get down to the dirt, that way the ponies will feel at home.' 'Great. We're under budget.'
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