Rob Lowe’s deepest, darkest secrets are about to be dug up, exposed and paraded around for ridicule by a few of his closest friends, some talented comedians and one controversial commentator.
Any sane person would be a bit concerned about how this would go down, especially since celebrities are regularly hacked for public pleasure. Lucky for this former Brat Packer, he’s never had a public hack… but what if he did?
Here’s how we imagine Rob’s pre-Roast texts with his friend (and Roast Master) David Spade would look.
First, Rob would need to move on from his embarrassing past.
Then he would need to brainstorm big names for his dais.
If that doesn’t work, maybe he could revisit a particular past roastee who can’t seem to stay away from the camera.
And what fun would it be if he couldn’t go back in time to start getting digs in at David?
And the closer the Roast got, the more paranoid he’d become.
See if his fears come true during the Roast of Rob Lowe, premiering Labor Day.