What Happened to That Woman Who Fell Down the Steps?

We have a theory.

While Ilana and Abbi were enjoying a leisurely morning in the park and brainstorming genius ideas about magnet boots, something else was also afoot. in the background, you can see a wheelchair-bound woman throwing herself down a flight of stairs. We know our favorite broads knocked their innovative ideas out of the park, but what do we think became of that mystery woman?
Here’s our theory: After the ailing woman was loaded into a stretcher (as tourists took selfies with the ambulance), she was brought to Lenox Hill Hospital on the Upper East Side, where doctors determined that she had re-broken her leg in several places and sustained a mild concussion (phew). She was then sent to the psych ward, where she was finally properly treated for the severe depression that landed her in a wheelchair in the first place. (Long story short: After a particularly frustrating trip to North Brother Island, she jumped in front of a train while screaming “Garol!”)

Though they had no idea what happened to her, Abbi and Ilana ended up helping the injured woman in the end. While in the hospital, she was sent several lovely GIF baskets (mostly snippets of dogs swimming), which helped her keep her spirits up as she recovered. Once she was discharged, she zoomed out of the hospital on her custom skateboard with a handle (also known as a scooter) and went straight to a one-stop pussy shop (seriously genius idea, Abbi) before spending a serene morning in the park spitballing moneymaking schemes with her BFF just like they used to, content at last. So, things really worked out in the end! Probably. Or at least that’s how we see it.