How to Survive a Shipwreck

Even if it's the Titanic.

Being trapped on a sinking ship is never Plan A, particularly if that ship is the Titanic. But in case you find yourself in that bummer of a scenario, heed the story of Charles Joughin, the Titanic’s head baker. He wasn’t the most high-profile passenger aboard, but he was almost certainly the drunkest. And that turned out to be enough.

Follow Joughin’s steps to survival:

1. Stay relaxed. You can do this a few ways. Yoga, for example, or meditation. Charles Joughin went with whiskey. In fact, he drank so much of it that he wasn’t especially alarmed when the ship started sinking. As a bonus, the liquor helped keep him warm in the freezing Atlantic Ocean. Is there anything booze can’t do?

2. Be selfless. When the ship went down, Joughin wasn’t shy about forcing reluctant passengers into lifeboats. It might seem counterintuitive to save others before yourself, but there’s something to be said for good karma. Also, again, Joughin was incredibly drunk.

3. Know the difference between cakes and pies. This might not seem important to you now, but Joughin was an expert at telling these desserts apart. And he survived. So play it safe, and brush up on this vital topic.