Meet Your New Hero, Sadie the Goat

She's a head-butting pirate from the 1860s, and she will hurt you.

Sadie Farrell isn’t American history’s most famous figure, but maybe she should be. Sure, George Washington led the American Revolution and became our first president, but did he head butt strangers and take their money? No.*

But Sadie did. That’s how she got her nickname, Sadie the Goat. Her awesomeness didn’t stop there, though. After getting into a brawl with an equally badass lady named Gallus Mag — a six-foot bouncer whose specialty was ear-biting — she became a pirate on the Hudson River. Seriously. An honest-to-God, skull-and-crossbones-waving, make-you-walk-the-plank pirate. Take that, Blackbeard.

After Sadie gave up the river-faring life, she returned to Manhattan and made amends with Gallus, who had a special gift for her. Hey, even the toughest among us have a soft side.
* Not that we know of.